Staying happily married through it ALL!
So, seeing all this bizzarre stuff about bisexuality, polyfidelity, you may wonder...Why in HELL is this woman married to a man?
First off, because I love him so deeply I would actually die if he was ever taken from me. His happiness is mine. So, for those who were wondering, no, I didn't "settle" for a man.
This is key, we have a fantastic relationship, based on open communication, equality, love, mutual respect, and common interests. Deciding to have a poly relationship was a long process of talking and incremental steps. Admittedly, this change was a strain on our relationship, but we have adjusted pretty well.
Now, I'm not saying we never disagree or have hard times, we do. But those times just don't seem to last very long and they usually point out that a change is needed.
My desire to have others involved in our life is shared with my husband. He is also bi and we share similar frustrations in exploring that side of our sexuality. I don't feel threatened by his attraction to men or women. We talk openly about attractive men and women, possibilities of relationships. At the beach we are probably the worst pair of predators ever seen. I'll see a nice female form sway by and point her out, we both drool behind our shades, same for a finely cut man. We are truly pigs(I'm sooooo ashamed!)
Seriously though, any weaknesses in our relationship were only highlighted by our decision to join the poly lifestyle. So if your relationship is in a difficult period don't even THINK that involving more people will help. It would be more strain on an overloaded bridge..not good.
JEALOUSY....boy, we've run into that a few times. Usually when one of us is feeling blue, or threatened by the person the other is seeing. I remember hubby calling from Winnipeg saying he was going to visit an old buddy of his. I panicked, this man was gay, looked like a Greek god, and had been attracted to my ever lovin' spouse ever since he'd known him. My stomach knotted, I got all sweaty & nervous. I was just an average, slightly plump, boring woman...would he still want me????? I immediately told my husband my misgivings and we talked through them. He left a week later on his visit and it didn't even bother me. I knew he loved me and this trip would answer alot of things for him. It could only bring him happiness and inner peace, why be so selfish?
Another factor that I think makes this lifestyle work for us, we have an amazing sexlife. I'm not bragging, I'm stating the truth. I love sex, have few misgivings and hang-ups. I have an orgasm at the drop of the hat, masterbate when I want, moan, groan, and scream my head off during sex. My husband has an amazing body. He knows how to use it and how to enjoy it. We love giving each other pleasure and satisfy each other grandly. So we don't need more people in our sexlife, but damn, I think it will be a hell of alot of fun!
We've yet to be with anyone who is willing to take both of us on in a relationship(emotionally or otherwise). So we still look. But I'm glad to say we've got good prospects of staying happily married for a LONG time.
