MERYL STREEP
TRY EEL SPERM
ADLAI STEVENSON
EDEN'S SALVATION
ALEXANDER HAIG
RELAXING AHEAD
RONALD REAGAN
AN OLD-AGER RAN
SAL MINEO
SEMOLINA or I'M ON SALE
SPIRO AGNEW
GROW A PENIS
MARIO VAN PEEBLES
A REMOVABLE PENIS
Sir, I stab a bat's iris.
Noami won a Toyota; now I moan.
Amoral anal aroma.
Fool a devil I did; I lived aloof.
Live for a war of evil.
Sex of deified foxes.
Tulsa departed; a cadet raped a slut.
Pupil slip-up.
Deep in a pan I peed.
1. If the groups the Cars, the Doors and Styx formed a band, they'd be the Car Door Styx.
2. Q. Why do golfers wear two condoms?
A. In case they get a hole in one.
3. Q. What do you get when you cross a rooster with a telephone pole?
A. A twenty-foot cock that wants to reach out and touch someone.
4. The K.K.K. are a bunch of sheetheads.
5. Q. Why did the snowman unzip his fly?
A. The snowblower was coming.
6. Q. Is wetting your bed a sign of mental illness?
A. Yes. Psychosis starts with a silent P.
7. Q. Did you hear the joke about the jump rope and the vacuum cleaner?
A. Skip it. It sucks.
8. Q. What coffee do they serve in mental hospitals?
A. Chock Full O' Nuts.
9. Van Gogh gave himself a lobotomy to get rid of an aural fixation.
10. Cocaine dealers can't help putting their business in other people's noses.
11. Q. What do you think about the current nuclear buildup in India?
A. Armageddon sick of it.
12. Q. Is diarrhea hereditary?
A. Yes, it runs in the jeans.
13. Q. Why did the man want a job making candles?
A. He only had to work on the wick-ends.
14. Q. What do you call a coffee shop with an orgy room in the back?
A. Sodom and Cremora.
15. Q. What did Vanna White do in the bathroom?
A. She took a P and had a vowel movement.
16. Q. Why do census takers have lousy sex lives?
A. They only come once every ten years.
17. Q. What do you call an orgy in a car?
A. Four-on-the-floor, a lube job, wall-to-wall car-petting and 69 on the highway.
18. Interviewer: What's the biggest problem with the world, ignorance or apathy?
Man-on-the-street: I don't know and I don't care.
19. Q. What did the gay man say when he walked into the Chinese restaurant?
A. I want Cum of Sum Yung Gi.
20. Q. What actor has V.D.?
A. Ephram Syphilis Jr.
21. Q. What do former president Reagan and a cheap word processor have in common?
A. They have a semi-colon, but no memory.
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