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Oh, My God!
There was a time I was religious as anyone. When I was a kid.
First, I noticed that no matter how much I prayed, nothing happened. I cannot honestly say I ever had a prayer answered. I did notice that the more I needed (whatever) the less my prayer was answered. I also noticed that if a prayer was answered, I had so much bad luck immediately thereafter that I soon decided it was too costly to ask god for anything. I could pray that my flu be cured and it would be. Then I would develop pneumonia. No matter what I prayed for, it seems I would receive the opposite. I have never been able to explain this phenomenon. But I soon came to the conclusion that god not only doesn't answer prayers, he slaps your teeth out when you do pray. So, I quit praying. It was too dangerous.
Next I read that at the time the bible was written nobody could read. Before this, in a general semantics course, I discovered that no two people can read anything and get the same message from the printed word. The written word is the worst way in the world to communicate. Nobody gets the right message from a printed passage. Every word means something different to every person. Many words are so charged with emotion that each word means something different to whoever sees it, hears it, or uses it. Our language is so defective that it is surprising we have survived.
Next we come to the problem of worship.
This list goes on and on.
Finally, we have to reach the conclusion that everything in the bible is so brainless that only a man could have created the thinking. Everything, literally everything, fails the smell test. It could only be the work of men who are not too bright. Which, of course, is what men were in those days. And judging from the number of men who believe all this nonsense today, we haven't improved all that much. We still ride on elevators that don't go all the way to the top. Few of us are playing with a full deck.
We just believe.
This continued for several years, well into my adulthood, as a matter of fact.
But all this time I was studying and researching. Several mileposts happened in my life that gradually destroyed my belief in God. Some of these I have recorded below...
I also reached another conclusion. No god would do this.
Next, I met a boy who had serious problems with his homosexuality. He could not resolve his religion with his sexual orientation. He could not believe that a god would make other men so attractive and beautiful, then prohibit one from touching them. I tried to explain that god was a fiction, and that right and/or wrong were also fiction.
He said something that affected me for the rest of my life.
"I believe you because, how would you know there was a god if someone hadn't told you there was?"
I'm not sure where the following incident fits into the chronological order of this discussion but I was reading a book on science and the author described the search for the smallest particle. It seems the scientists had found a tiny particle that had a twin in another orbit. Then the scientists found it was not a twin, but the same particle occupying two different spaces. The particle oscillated between the two places in which it appeared. It was one particle in two different places. It oscillated back and forth between the two sites at the rate of 8 billion times per second. This was inside an electron. Now, I couldn't understand how these scientists counted these oscillations, nor how god could do it. I finally figured out the men could do it with the one electron, but how could god count the oscillations in every electron in the entire universe? To count every electron in the universe, even assuming the universe were finite, would pretty much be a full time job. My conclusion was that god was not omniscient.
The question arises, if our language is this flawed, why would an all-knowing god expect us to read "his" book and understand what the hell he was talking about? No god would do this. So, it because exceedingly obvious that god did not write the bible.
And the bible is the only, repeat, ONLY, proof we have that there is a god. So, if god did not write the bible, man had to.
The only evidence we have that there is a god is manmade evidence. Man made the bible. Man made god. The sharpie who wrote the bible knew no one at that time was smart enough to figure this out. We are a little smarter today, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that if god wanted us to know something, he would not write a book.
Doesn't it seem totally stupid that a god would create piss ants, then demand they worship him? This would be the equivalent of me creating a computer program that tells me repeatedly that it loves me. Worse still, making an audio cassette that says, over and over, "I love you. I adore you. You are the greatest. You are holy, you are divine," etc., etc. It is utterly absurd that a god would create something to worship him. A god would have no ego. And if he did, it would not need pacifying. "Worship me or I will kill you." How utterly stupid.
Not only do we fail to figure all this out, we are too scared to even attempt it. We are too cowardly to think, question, explore, doubt.
