**The reason our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually CHANGE our underwear.

**If we're watching football with you, it's not bonding. We're watching the butts.

**If the truth hurts, ask us those ego-sensitive questions on your payday.

**Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have to say after the movie.

**Please don't drive when you're not driving.

**Our bedtime headaches are inversely proportional to the number of baths that you take.

**If you were really looking for an honest answer you wouldn't ask in bed.

**The next time you joke about femme drivers, research the number of accidents caused by rubbernecking at miniskirts.

**If only femmes gossip, how do you and your buddies keep track of "who's easy?"

**Eye contact is best established above our shoulder level.