What's the difference between government bonds and butches?
Bonds mature.

Why are butches like laxatives?
They irritate the shit out of you.

Why do butches like masturbation?
It's sex with someone they love.

What is a butch's view of safe sex?
A padded headboard.

How do butches sort their laundry?
"Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".

Why did God create butches?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

Q: Why are butches so happy? A: Because ignorance is bliss.

Do you know why it's called sex?
Because it's easier to spell than Uhhhh...ohhh...Ahhhhhhhh...AIEEEEE!!

What do you call a handcuffed butch?
Trustworthy.

What do a clitoris and anniversary have in common?
Butches always miss them.

How can you tell the difference between butches real gifts and their guilt gifts?
Guilt gifts are nicer.

What do you instantly know about a well-dressed butch?
Her girlfriend is good at picking out clothes.

What do most butches think Mutual Orgasm is?
An insurance company.