I started doing this diary in June. If you haven't been following have a look at the Cast of Characters which gives a quick low down on the essential day to day characters who are mentioned here...it will make more sense if you do.

     

Raining again. Very raining actually. It's not that I won't work outdoors in the rain but I've done everything I can do on my own so now I just have to wait until someone has the time to help me get the rest of the rails up, they're twelve feet long, even if I had two hands I couldn't do that on my own, I'd need three hands with six foot long arms to do that, and that would look silly apart from anything else.

So what did I do instead? Not a lot, I went to town, remembered a lot of what I meant to get and forgot the rest. I tidied up the office space, lit the fire, made a start on a few small jobs and that was about all. The town trip was difficult, seemed like everyone was just trying to be obstructive or going out of their way to barge into me or not hold doors open when I obviously had both hand and hook full of bags, but I know it's not really like that, it just all seems that way when I feel the way I do. I've made this decision to cease social activities because it all just felt like pressure but its amazing how quickly I get into feeling lonely. I saw Lorna breifly this morning when I went to get my post and I've seen no-one else since then, just been locked away in my end of the house feeling like shit and wondering what I'm doing to myself. It seemed like a good idea at the time but I'm not so sure now.

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