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How does that statement make you feel? Strange? Curious? Nothing? Well, I am Transsexual, and underwent treatment and counselling for many years before I eventually accepted it. I will tell you all about that in the following chapters, but there is a lot of misunderstanding on the subject, no doubt a lot of it brought about by misrepresentation and sensationalism by the media. As a result, I've found that many people are misinformed (but getting better) and confuse Transsexualism with a lot of unrelated behaviours. I think confusion arises from the 'sex' bit of the word Transsexual, which refers to gender. After all, if you are filling in a form that asks you for your sex, you respond 'male' or 'female' accordingly (or 'yes' if you're a really funny person). Some of my friends did know, and accepted, the full extent of my persona, but others I kept in the dark for years. This was mainly out of fear of rejection, because they meant so much to me - and still do. That was dishonest, but until I was certain of myself and what I am, I didn't want to take the risk. As I approached the year 2000, I found that the pressure to be myself, to be true to myself, became greater than the fear of losing friends. My true friends have tried to understand, and at the very least, accept that this is the way things are. Family, too, has accepted that I had secretly suffered for many years and are just pleased to see me so happy now. Knowing this additional information about me, doesn't mean that I am a different person to the one people have always known. My core personality remains the same. There is just this added dimension which has always been there, but kept suppressed. I couldn't keep this suppressed much longer without cracking under the pressure. This is my life, this is who I am, and I didn't want to live a lie for the rest of my life. |
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