I cannot commend highly enough the skill of the surgeon, the quality of the people who work for him, and the nursing staff generally. I immediately felt comfortable with these happy, smiling, caring people (although I imagine there may be some noticeable cultural differences for those who haven't prepared themselves beforehand).
Sunday 24th June
Flew out to Bangkok via Hong Kong.
Monday 25th June
Met at Bangkok Airport by Kie, who acts as Dr Suporn's co-ordinator for non-Thai clients. Driven to Aikchol Hospital, where a friend, Terri, had already arrived with her best friend, Jacqui. Terri was due to have her op the next day. I was to share Terri's suite that night as my own would not be available until the next day.
In the evening we had a consultation with Dr Suporn and Dr Kim, with whom I had previously been in correspondence regarding suitability for SRS surgery.
After 2 days of airline/airport food, I was looking forward to some authentic Thai food. Kie sent out for pizza and chicken wings...! Maybe tomorrow...
Tuesday 26th June
First thing, I was wheeled off for ECG, chest X-ray, and blood tests, including HIV. Confirmed later in the day - all OK.
Terri was wheeled out that morning to have her surgery, and I spent the day keeping Jacqui company. The hospital had 2 menus, one with Thai dishes, the other was more Western. We chose Thai, and were not disappointed. By 3pm, Terri was back and snoring well!
Later, I was able to move into my own private suite next door, and in the evening I had an enema, and a shave - where I don't usually bother :-)
Wednesday 27th June
6:00 a.m., shower. 7:00 a.m., on trolley to theatre (gulp)....how many movies/hospital soaps had I seen this corny, patient's eye-view of the overhead lights flashing by...
In theatre, Dr Suporn drew some lines where he was going to undertake facial surgery, but said that he would only do that after SRS, if all went well. Otherwise the facial surgery would be done later. I chatted briefly with the anaesthetist, whilst a drip was attached and various monitoring devices, an oxygen mask placed over my mouth, and then......
I vaguely recall coming around and hearing the voices of Thai nurses saying, 'Suzi, Suzanne, wake up...happy birthday....'. Then oblivion.
Thursday 28th June
?
Friday 29th June
Started coming around, but I didn't realise until a day later that I'd lost a day somewhere. At some point I was told that I'd been in surgery for 12 and a half hours. The SRS had gone well, so Dr Suporn had continued with the facial feminisation surgery (FFS). This was a long time under, and I'll be feeling the effects for some months to come.
I drifted in and out of conciousness, but recall lots of pills, bed baths, injections, and abdominal pain from trapped wind ("gas") - so bad at one time, I thought I was having a heart attack!
Saturday 30th June
Pretty much like the day before, but more periods awake. I could barely see due to the surgery around my eyes, and ointment smeared across them. I couldn't move much but the nurses, from time to time, would roll me slightly to one side and prop a pillow partly under me - to ease the back-ache I was beginning to suffer.
(scroll down...)
Sunday 1st July
More pills, more bed baths, more jabs - and something to relieve the 'gas'. My life-saver at this point was my personal CD player on which I listened to the high-energy music I'd brought with me to revive me - Metallica, Beethoven, Joe Satriani, Corrosion of Conformity (I'm an old rocker). It gave the nurses great amusement to see me lying flat out on my bed, head-banging and playing air-guitar - being careful not to pull out the catheter and drain tubes!
Jacqui had been in frequently to make me cups of tea, to chat and to generally cheer me up. She was great and I owe her a lot for that. She also responded to a request for a hand-mirror so that I could see how my face looked. What a shock - I looked as if I'd gone 10 rounds with Mike Tyson!
Monday 2nd July
Dr Suporn had been in to check me every morning, but today most of the bandages came off, and the drip and drain tubes were removed. I was still left with the catheter and bag into which my urine passed.
Five days after surgery - and two days before moving to the hotel in Pattaya - I really needed to get up and start moving. The nurses raised the back of the bed and I tried to sit up and swing my legs over the side of the bed. I just about passed out and a nurse brought the smelling salts. This wasn't going to be easy. I gritted my teeth and tried again, a nurse each side supporting me. My feet made contact with terra firma, and it felt so strange. I had pins and needles in my feet, and had no strength in my legs - or anywhere else for that matter. My head swum and I felt sick but I had to shuffle the short distance to a chair with a child's inflatable ring for me to sit on. I sat there, swaying in the breeze, exhausted, wondering if I'd ever make it back to the bed - which seemed like sanctuary compared with the pain of sitting.
I eventually managed to shuffle unaided between the bed and the chair a few times, carrying my catheter and bag of piss like a ball and chain.
The big event of the day was that Terri and Jacqui came in from their adjacent room to join me for lunch - Terri bringing her own inflatable donut to sit on. Terri's surgery being a day before mine, she was due to move out the next day.
After they'd gone, and feeling better by the minute, I ventured to walk up and down my suite a few times, resting, then doing some more. Eventually I was so exhausted I had to crawl back onto the bed, and fell quickly asleep.
Later in the evening, still carrying my 'ball-and-chain', I was able to sit on the toilet for the first time since the evening before surgery - you can't imagine the sheer luxury!
Tuesday 3rd July
I got out of bed for breakfast - I'd been back on solids a few days now - and called Terri and Jacqui on the hospital phone to see if they were open to visitors. Of course they were, so I grabbed my donut, ball-and-chain, and shuffled through to their room next door.
After comparing our respective states of health, I made the observation, "unable to walk more than a shuffle, being attached to a bag by catheter, feeling fuzzy-headed, unsure of the day of the week, people talking at me but it all seems to go over my head - what a wonderful preparation for old age....". Terri and I discovered that it hurt to laugh...and cough, or sneeze.
Lunchtime, I was back in my room, and Terri and Jacqui popped in on their way past, as they checked out and transferred to the hotel - a 90 minute drive away. That donut was going to be a constant companion for the next few days.
That afternoon, I felt quite lonely but the nursing staff came in and chatted, and helped pass the time. I'd received a few phone calls from friends and family over these last few days - taking my advice that the first few days would be pointless. So good to hear those voices.
I walked up and down the room some more, imagining myself in some prisoner of war movie, tortured by my captors but determined to get strong and escape.
When I lay down for a nap, during these last couple of days, I found I couldn't close my eyelids properly - but still, somehow, managed to sleep.
(scroll down)
Wednesday 4th July ("Independence Day"!)
A week after surgery, and it was my turn to check out. Dr Suporn visited me at about 8 a.m. He removed the packing that was keeping my vagina from healing closed. Expected pain but there was none. Similarly, having the catheter removed. I was washed and handed a small mirror to see the surgeon's good works, which he pointed out as he went through naming of parts - "labia major, labia minor, clitoral hood, clitoris, urethra, vagina". Good, I noted mentally, all in the right order. Dr Suporn uses the 'sensate pedicled' method for creating the clitoris - that is he preserves the nerve and blood supply connections from the part of the penis glans used. He gently flicked my clitoris, "you get sensation?" - Yes, I grinned, and the nurses giggled. He then showed me how to dilate the vagina using a 9.5-inch dilator (a plastic rod, just over an inch in diameter and rounded at the business end). He put a condom over it, covered it with lubricating gel and gently inserted until there was some resistance. He seemed pleased. "Using scrotal skin graft (the hair-bearing layer removed) I have been able to give you between 7.5 and 8 inches of depth". This is an excellent result, due to latest techniques - not necessarily practiced elsewhere, and not always successfully. However, to prevent the scar tissue causing shrinkage, for 6 months I will have to insert the dilator into my vagina, applying a little pressure whilst holding it in place, for two hours in the morning and again in the evening, every day. Frequency reduces after that.
Dr Suporn removed most of my facial stitches, and I was shown how and what ointments to apply where and when. After my first 2 hour dilation stint, I took my first proper shower - no more bed baths for me! I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked like a car crash victim. My face yellow and purple with bruising. I had lost weight. Muscle had wasted away. I was pale and flabby. A bit of a shock, but it increased my determination to get back to full strength and health. Oh, and there was something missing 'down there'!
I felt numb here and there, due to nerves being severed where incisions had been made. I had been warned about this and told that eventually they would renew and the brain would remap where everything was, but it would take 3 months, maybe longer.
I dressed and put on a little make-up - Dr Suporn had said this would be OK - had lunch and waited with my trusty donut for my driver to take me to Pattaya.
After an hour or so's drive, I was in the Welcome Plaza Hotel, having a coke in the foyer bar with Terri and Jacqui.
Once again we had adjacent rooms, and were expected to stay in them for the first week, relying on room service, and daily visits from nursing aides. Getting into the routine of dilating, douching and applying ointments, etc, took up most of the day and left me quite exhausted.
The nursing aides, Nat and Jasmin, worked part time for Dr Suporn - in the evenings they worked in the Simon Cabaret - a 'ladyboy' floorshow in south Pattaya. Nat had had her surgery when she was 16 - there's a link to her own page on the srs-thailand.com website. Jasmin had so far only had breast augmentation. They were there to help us in any way needed - with our daily routines, or getting us anything we needed from the shops (mostly armfuls of condoms, lubricating gel, and panty-liners!).
That evening I dropped my dilator on my mirror. Thankfully nothing broke, but it did cause me to wonder that if it had, would I have got 7-inches of bad luck?
Thursday 5th July
Pattaya is Thailand's premier sex resort and at times (especially at night) seemed like the 'Wild West'....or East in this case. The electricity went out with a bang a couple of times during the night, dogs howled nearby (or were they coyotes?), and roosters crowed all night, obviously sensing a false dawn with the light pollution. The hotel had no sound-proofing, but it was cheap. I had room service for the first few days, used their laundry services, etc, but the eventual bill for the twin room I occupied worked out at UK£12 per night.
My first full day in my hotel room. Doing what I could for myself (which was little) wore me out and I realised how weakened I was from the lengthy surgery. At least with Terri and Jacqui in the next room we could join each other and chat to help pass the time. In the afternoons we were joined by either Nat or Jasmin, sometimes both.
Had a surreal moment when Nat and Jasmin wanted to compare their implanted boobs with my hormone induced pair! What a picture it would have made...
Friday 6th July
Another disturbed night. I'd move but having Terri and Jacqui next door was comforting.
On my CD player I was listening to Beethoven and was particularly moved by a string quartet in B-flat, Opus 130, "Cavatina". In fact I cried my eyes out - emotions had caught up with me. A time for considering the big issues like 'Life, the Universe, and Everything...'. I thought of the ugliness in the world, the beauty of life - and a special friend who was to join me in Pattaya in a few days time...
Today we had lunch and dinner in the hotel restaurant - I couldn't take another meal in the room. I needed to get out.
(scroll down)
Saturday 7th July
Didn't sleep well - again. Just too many night noises, plus a wrong number at 3 a.m! Decided to write a poem that had been forming in my mind.
Again had lunch with T & J and in the evening attended a pool-side buffet - which was cut short by a reminder that this was the rainy season. Later, phone calls from the UK cheered me up.
Sunday 8th July
Feeling a little stronger each day, but any slight effort leaves me worn out. I'm determined, though, and maybe push myself more than I should, but I'm careful to be aware of my limits.
Not far from the hotel is an Internet cafe, and we slowly made our way there. It was good to read messages that had been waiting for me, and to be able to report back on my progress. Suddenly I felt connected back into the world...at a safe distance, mind you!
I was feeling so good, that I accepted Jasmin's offer of a lift on the back of her motor-bike to a nearby shopping mall. No doubt the prospect would horrify some, that I would take such a risk, but I did check the softness of the seat, that it would only take a few minutes, and Jasmin would avoid any bumps. It was quite exhiliarating, but after an hour wandering the mall, I needed to get back to my bed to rest - I must have been 'under the weather' because I didn't buy anything!
In the evening, Nat and Jasmin took us to the Thai House - a restaurant with a display of Thai dancing.
This picture shows Jacqui, Nat, Terri and Jasmin.
Again we tired early, and returned to the hotel by 8p.m. A card had been pushed under the door of my room - it was from work, signed by just about everyone.
Monday 9th July
Back to the Internet cafe in the morning, then after lunch I took a taxi, arranged by Jasmin, to Bangkok Airport to meet my friend from the UK who was going to spend my last ten days in Thailand with me. Ostensibly he was going to carry my suitcase home, but really it was just great to have a close friend keep me company and look after me.
We had dinner in a restaurant in Pattaya that evening, had a stroll around (my friend helping me cross the road as if I were an old lady - which I am!). Back in the room we talked until 2 a.m.
(scroll down)
>
Tuesday 10th July
Guess what! I slept well last night.
Internet cafe, chemists for various supplies, bought some local fresh fruits, Thai foot massage. Back at the hotel in the afternoon, I receive a most beautiful bouquet of orchids - from a great couple of friends in the UK ('Mr & Mrs Bean' - you know who you are!). The flowers are shown in this picture - alongside my 'donut'!
In the evening we went to the Simon Cabaret to see Nat at work - seen here strutting her stuff.
Wednesday 11th July
Internet cafe, more fresh fruit, more walking, haggling over purchases from street-side stalls.
Thursday 12th July
More of the above, but also went to Dr Suporn's clinic in Chonburi for a check-up - transport arranged and paid for by the clinic. More stitches taken out, the rest will dissolve over the next few weeks. Everyone pleased with the results - especially me. Everything going so well for me that it was left to me to decide to come back for a check-up before I left for the UK. I opted not to - it's a 2-hour round trip.
Dr Suporn's wife, Aoi, gave me a Thai silk wrap, printed using natural wood dyes. It's beautiful.
Back at the hotel I phoned my dad in the UK to wish him happy 71st birthday.
(scroll down)
Friday 13th July
Getting into daily routines, although today I added a manicure and pedicure.
Saturday 14th July
Nothing much new today - just taking things easy.
Sunday 15th July
In the evening, went with friend to the Alcazar - this is a much grander ladyboy cabaret and seemed to be packed mainly with Japanese tourists. An impressive show, huge sets, gorgeous 'girls', and a good sound system.
Monday 16th July
Additional activity today was an evening at a revolving restaurant at the top of a huge tower block. This was as a guest of Dr Suporn's clinic and apart from Nat, Jasmin, Kie and Dr Kim, we were joined by three other clients who had just had facial surgery.
Back at the hotel I started packing as we were to go to Bangkok tomorrow for the last couple of days before flying back to London.
Tuesday 17th July
There's so much to see in Bangkok that my friend and I decide to just check the local area, especially for a decent restaurant for dinner - which we do.
Wednesday 18th July
Went to the Grand Palace, and the Temple of the Green Buddha. Back to our chosen restaurant in the evening. In between times, having to do my twice-daily dilation, etc., which is in itself demanding.
Thursday 19th July
Flew back to London.