BONDAGE

Pieces of the puzzle

Yes, bondage is a puzzlement!

This page and the pages to follow are for all you gals out there who have been asked to try bondage for the first time
- or who want to try it for the first time
- or want to know more about it
- or if you are a newbie to the bondage scene
- or....

Heck!

This is for everyone!

If you are new or not so new,
female or male,
top or bottom.
i guess what i'm trying to say is:

This is about bondage.

MY CREDITENTIALS:

i'm not a newbie, but i was one once.
i'm not a Top, but i have been on occassion.

	Sorry about the long intro... THE SCENE: the handcuffs, rope, or whatever have been brought out and you find yourself in a conversation about them with a man, a lover! It doesn't matter if you brought up the subject or if he did. The fact of the matter is you are maybe going to get tied up! [i'm assuming a male dominant situation, because that's what i prefer. You can reverse the rolls any way that suits you/you are wanting to tie him up/you are a guy and you want to tie up the gal or have her tie you up - whatever. We aren't talking gender here.]
	SOMEONE IS ABOUT TO BE TIED UP: (The pictures get better as this goes along...) Whoever the person is, who is about to be tied up, they need to get a few things straight before allowing someone to make them helpless... Bondage can be dangerous! i don't need to tell you that, i think, but i do need to let you know that i am aware of that fact and that i'm not some Air Head who either doesn't know that or just doesn't care about it - i do! i also know that you now know that i know that bondage can be dangerous. Before you ever got into a conversation with a lover about doing bondage you tried to find out just how they felt about it. Let's discuss this...
	BEFORE THE FIRST CONVERSATION: (Speaking as me) i want to be reasonably certain of it's outcome before it ever starts! i like to be the one who gets tied up so i figure i am the one risking bodily harm. If i let the wrong man tie me up he could do anything to me while i was tied up. He might go to jail, but that's not going to help me any. i need to know beforehand that even though he will have me tied up i will be safe. Some men (make that most men) don't know what to do when they have someone all tied up. Some think you want abuse - and they will give you that. Some think you want to be treated like something precious and that's the kind of treatment you will get. Some don't have a clue and, again, you can either be pampered or abused. The chances of just letting someone tie you up and do "their thing" and having it turn out bad is highly likely! That's why we do something in bondage called "NEGOTIATION".
	NEGOTIATION: Did you notice that i just got ahead of myself here? i am talking about negotiation now because i want you to know that you don't have to know all the details before you talk to a guy the first time about doing some bondage. You still have a way out! This is the part where you HONESTLY tell the other person what you expect to happen, what you want, and what you don't want! This is a safety net for you. There are many safety nets in bondage because just about ALL of us realize that bondage can be dangerous. Does this help explain the long intro? Before you let someone tie your hands behind your back for the first time you have a lot to learn. Of course you can skip all of this if the person really knows you and is really trustworthy and really knows what they are doing. You'll find that the more the other person knows about bondage the more likely that they are going to go slow and be gentle! And they can also be able to 'shift gears' the best if they are going too slow for you. [SIDENOTE: The person tied up is really the person in charge of what's going on. We try to avoid this, but it's how it comes out. The bottom is in control of the situation. Think about it then read below.]
	Negotiation gives you a chance to put your fears to one side. SAFETY: Here are some safety aspects of bondage to discuss... RED LIGHT/GREEN LIGHT Works like a traffic light. RED means STOP and GREEN means GO! (There is also a variation that includes YELLOW.) All you do is say, "Red light!" and the action stops - unless you say, "Green light." This gives you one more chance to back out. Expect a session of further negotiation if you do use a Red Light. Sometimes this is used where once a Red Light is encountered the other person will end the session until a later time, this is to keep you from getting Red Light-happy. By the way, the other person is just as able to call Red Light as you. TIMED EVENT You both get to agree on how long the scene will last. Any time incriment is ok to use. (Times less than a minute or more than a week are kinda rare though.) A good first time is 5-10 minutes. LIMITS You don't have to have your hands tied behind you! They can be in front, in fact as a first time thing, hands in front is a good idea. The idea is to enjoy yourself. If you are frightened out of your wits then no one is happy. DEVICES A silk scarf is ok over handcuffs or even instead of handcuffs. You can agree to use some rotten yarn that you can break, if you want. (Words of caution; don't think you can break free if your lover uses thread. You might be able to break it, but it will probably cut you. Beware of duct tape! It can peal your skin and will ruin your clothes! SAFE WORD Like Red Light above. Pick some word not likely to be said and when you say it then it's just like Red Light. FRIENDS Not sure if you can trust the guy? Don't trust your own judgement? Just want an extra safety net? Before you begin call up some friends and get them to agree to come over in ten minutes - unless you call them back. Usually you can make up some fib to get them to agree to this. PLACE Someplace where the walls are paper thin maybe. Use your head. You will find that bondage increases your IQ. No joke! You are tied up and the only way to keep the evil Darth Invader from raping you is to get loose! You can usually figure out a way to get free. When you've had more practice you may realize that you DON'T want to get free!
	ADVANTAGES TO BONDAGE: Would you believe that the greatest joy of bondage is freedom? It is. i'm not talking about how good it feels to get untied (and that does feel good.) What i'm referring to is the inability to do. Classic bondage: you get tied up and are tickled as close to climax as possible - and the other person stops! They let you cool down a bit (yes, you are frustrated) then they tease right to the edge again, and stop! You are really frustrated now! They do it again and again before letting you climax. When you climax you REALLY CLIMAX - like never before - especially if you are still tied up! Caution to Tops: never do this to anyone without letting them finally climax. Do it one time to me and you'll never see me in your bonds again! Fact!
	How about having someone to 'force' you to do something you've always been afraid of? Ever wanted to try oral sex, but were afraid? Here's your chance. Like to talk dirty and un-lady-like? Gags were invented for bondage. What else are you afraid of that you'd love to have someone 'make' you do?
	Slavery as a freedom: Ever show up late for a date? Felt bad about it? No way to repay? How about a spanking? Spankings are a part of bondage that some people like. Not everyone does it. If you don't think you'd like it then remember to tell the other person. Bondage is hard to undestand ('cause it's a puzzlement) and spankings are even harder to understand. There is no joy in getting or giving a spanking. Read that again, there is no joy in getting or giving a spanking! So why do it? Afterwards there is joy. You have made up for being late for that date, or crashing up his car, or killing his goldfish by giving them the wrong food. That's kinda ok. Still not to the point. The point is he sees you willing to accept the blame for whatever you did AND accept the punishment! How does that make him feel? Gosh darned good, i expect! So how do you feel about that? Gosh darned good, i expect! It makes a cycle. Not a vicious cycle, but a delicious cycle! Confussing? Don't go there yet. Wait until when and if you ever become ready for spankings. The hard rule on spankings is to never enjoy getting one or giving one. That's sadism and masochism. i don't go there! i don't know if anyone really does. If someone does and it's a positive thing then i'd be open to hearing about it.
	So, are you equipted to go into a negotiation? Yep!! You always were! You don't really have to know all about bondage to try it. Just use your head. All you need to know is it will give you the best climaxes ever! The main ingredient for bondage is you, your good sense, and a willingness to try something new. Bondage is a good thing. It has to be, because it's High-Powered Sex!