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12 June 2000

I am really losing my mind. I am getting married in just over two weeks. Because we didn't want to look like fools, my fiance and I decided to take private dance instruction for our "first dance." Well, I am 100%  infatuated and obsessed with the dance instructor. She dances with both of us, and I go goofy whenever she touches me. I can smell her on my clothes and in my hair for hours after the lesson. So far, I'm certain that my groom-to-be doesn't know how I feel about her (or about women, in general). I sense from her that she is attracted, although I could be suffering from extreme wishful thinking. My question is, how can I pursue something with the dance teacher? I mean, if she IS attracted to me, this situation must suck for her, right? I know that my fiance could not handle this, so I have to find a way to keep him from being hurt. But I absolutely MUST find a way to be with her. I know that I sound like a school girl, but I'm 33 years old and in earnest. - Annie
 
 

Annie,

As I write this, you are probably already married. I don't know if you ever found out what she felt for you. Are you going to keep up the dance lessons, with or without your husband? If you are serious about this, then that should probably be your first step. The second would be finding out whether she is attracted to you or not. If she is, is she willing to put herself between you and your husband.

Secondly, I think you should try telling your husband about how you feel about women in general. It can be done slowly and with casual, joking remarks. This can help you pave the way and judge his reaction at the same time. "Isn't she pretty?" "Look at her..."

Please remember if you choose to pursue this, that you will be holding the happiness of three people in your hands and that is a great responsibility. Be sure the choice is worth the consequences, whichever way you go. Good luck and best wishes.

Always,
Angel

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