How Tina Chose Her Femme Name

Amergin, the Celtic bard who chronicled the Gaels' fabled journey across the seas to Ireland, owned a harp, which he kept in a leather pouch and always carried with him. The harp was given to him by the master druid who trained Amergin in the bardic arts. When given the harp, Amergin was told the harp's name, a name he was charged to keep secret.

In much the same manner, the legendary Celtic warrior Cuchulain placed a ges, a sacred charge, on his son. He was to allow no man to force him to give his name.

The Gaels understood the power of names.

Most of us are given a name at birth and bear it for life. It is often the name of a relative or of a person one's parents admire. This name stays with us throughout life, and most of us simply accept it. I was given my father's name. It remains my male name to this day, and I bear it with pride. I admire much about my father. Despite his all-too-human flaws, he was a good man who managed to overcome tremendous adversity.

We who are transgendered often adopt another name to reflect our gender identity. Some simply feminize their male name. Others just pick a name that sounds nice. For myself, the process was a little more complicated.

It was a time of profound self-discovery in my life. After over thirty years of denial, I had finally admitted to myself that I was and still am a crossdresser. I was frightened. I was also excited. My self-discovery coincided with my discovery if the Internet. I found that I was not alone, that there were many like myself. It was so wonderful to discover a world where I was not a freak, a place where I actually belonged.

It was on one of my first web-surfing safaris that I encountered the Pink Room, a chat room for transgendered folk. I was nervous, but my curiosity overcame any misgivings I had. I needed a screen name in order to join in the fun. I typed in the first name I could think of, which was Tina.

Where did this name come from? Of all the names I could think of, why Tina? That's a good question. Here's the answer.

I use the power of names by giving names to the important inanimate objects in my life. I have a special name for all of my teddy bears. I have named my cars, my computer, and my blood glucose monitor. When I was in the Air Force, I had pet names for the aircraft in the squadron.

I once owned a motorcycle. It wasn't a very big bike. My lawn mower had a bigger motor. I used my bike for fun and to commute to work. The bike could not go faster than 45 and had a tough time with steep grades or strong headwinds. I named her Tina. She was more like a moped with an attitude than a motorcycle, but I really loved her. When I had to part with her, I made sure a good family who would give her the love she deserved adopted her.

My first time in a TG chat room was fantastic. I was welcomed by the girls, who let me know that I was among friends. It was the first time anybody ever called me a girl and didn't mean it as an insult. For the first time I could share my feelings about dressing with ladies who understood and encouraged me. I loved it! Soon I was logging on regularly as Tina.

So where does Valentina Michelle Smith come from? Actually, my name has two sources; science fiction, and space.

I am a big fan of science fiction, particularly the writing of Robert A. Heinlein. Back in the sixties, I read "Stranger In A Strange Land", one of the finest SF novels ever written. It chronicles the life of a human who was born on Mars and raised by Martians, and who was returned to Earth as an adult. His name was Valentine Michael Smith. I feminized this name and adopted it as my own.

Ah, but this was not my only source of inspiration. Space flight and space exploration was one of my early passions. When most boys' heroes were athletes or movie stars, mine were the seven Mercury astronauts. I chose engineering as a profession in emulation of my heroes such as Neil Armstrong and Pete Conrad. Do you know the name of the first woman in space? She was a Russian cosmonaut, Valentina Tereshkova-Nikolayeva. By adopting her name, I pay homage to the contribution women have made in the exploration of our final frontier.

So this is the story of my name. By choosing a female name for my feminine alter ego, I have empowered myself. It is on one hand an admission of my own femininity and, on the other, a convenient compartment in which to assign my feminine traits. By adopting my femme name, I have seized power over my transgenderedness. I now proceed on my journey of discovery with confidence. No longer shall I fear my femininity, for I have embraced it! When I look into a mirror and see a girl looking back at me, I know her name. She is I, and I am Tina.

Be beautiful!