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Volume 1 |
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The Death and Rebirth, Redeath and Regurgitation of the HHBBCC A few weekends ago was the Fourth of July and I didn't play croquet. We went to some friends' new house to help them paint a wall. I brought the mobile croquet set, just in case. No luck - there were more important things to do. I'm not sure if this counts as a REDEATH or just the continuation of a prior death of the HHBBCC. This simple quandary reflects the state of the HHBBCC today, and always, for that matter. Is it dead, or was it ever really alive? The Cycle Ever since I left Arcata the croquet has come only in sporadic, usually awkward, spurts. A game here and a game there - discontinuous games as opposed to the seemingly fluid flow of endless wickets I experienced in Arcata. Yeah, my idyllic picture of Arcata croquet is pretty surreal, because in fact the games in Arcata were always played to the death. But Chris was always the winner, so it still seemed like the same game, wicket after wicket. Must beat Chris. Must beat Chris. So you can imagine that croquet in Arcata was more of an obsession than a backyard leisure activity. If the truth must be told, croquet was just one of many tricks employed by this strange group of college students to avoid collegiate responsibility. But the fantasy was that croquet was some supernatural medium used to unify and provide structure for an otherwise chaotic peer group in need of company and entertainment. Man, what a fantasy that was. I'm going to change the tone of this in just a minute because the nostalgic crap is getting to me (don't know whether to cry or puke). But let me just add that those are times that I miss and I know they will never be recreated. So what does this have to do with a cycle? The cycle started after the club died - after the club members graduated and/or went away from each other and Arcata. The cycle is: birth; life; death; after death; birth (not rebirth); life, but always feeling a slight deja vu; redeath; conception; reconception; rereconception (this is the obviously the easy, fun part of creation); birth; and sudden death. The bottom line is that no matter where you are in this cycle, you never know where you've been or where you're going. No matter where you are, there you are. Puke Okay, now I have to clean up the puke. This article has left me empty inside and I feel the cynical parts of my brain taking over. I am pleading for help from fellow HHBBCCers who may read this dribble. If you're out there - let me know. My own private club is fun and all, but I at least want to know I'm slipping into delusion before I fall off some invisible precipice.
GTG
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greg.gearheart@mci2000.com
Date Last Modified: 6/27/98