"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot little puppies."
-- Gene Hill
"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the
car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at
nothing right in your ear."
-- Dave Barry
"Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend, and inside
of a dog, it's too dark to read."
-- Groucho Marx.
"The scientific name for an animal that doesn't either run from or
fight its enemies is lunch."
-- Michael Friedman
"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of
dogs."
-- Aldous Huxley
"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think
that is how dogs spend their lives."
-- Sue Murphy
"I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and
give the wrong answers."
-- Unknown
"No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless
absolutely certain that that he can hold his own in the conversation."
-- Fran Lebowitz
"Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job."
-- Franklin P. Jones
"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back
from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork,
half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!"
-- Anne Tyler
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird
religious cult."
-- Rita Rudner
"If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning
one."
-- Andy Rooney
"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a
can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money."
-- Joe Weinstein
"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face,
you should go home and examine your conscience."
-- Woodrow Wilson
"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I
have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons."
-- James Thurber
"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person
with pets."
-- Nora Ephron
"Rambunctious, rumbustious, delinquent dogs become angelic when
sitting."
-- Dr. Ian Dunbar
"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you
are wonderful."
-- Ann Landers
"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax
and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein
"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone
should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore
him."
-- Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan
"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your
face."
-- Ben Williams
"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-- Roger Caras
"Cat's Motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it
look like the dog did it."
-- Unknown
"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of
his tail."
-- Unknown
"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as
the dog does."
-- Christopher Morley
"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves
himself."
-- Josh Billings
"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be."
-- Holbrook Jackson
"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
-- Andrew A. Rooney
"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are
his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true,
to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such
devotion."
-- Unknown
"Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and
your dog would go in."
-- Mark Twain
"I care not for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better
for it."
-- Abraham Lincoln
"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where
they went."
-- Unknown
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not
bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man."
-- Mark Twain
"Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great
Dane."
-- Smiley Blanton
"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed
contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts."
-- John Steinbeck
"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We
can't decide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin our lives."
-- Rita Rudner
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This page last updated June 8, 1998, by MalMaster
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