Coping with Dementia
Conquering Despair
Encouragement
Stories of Friendship
Traute Klein Background

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Alzheimer Comedy Hour

by Traute Klein, biogardener

Seeing the humor in the absurdities of Alzheimer's disease helped to save the sanity of this caregiver.

Alzheimer's and Humor?

I don't want to write about caregiving. I would just as soon forget about the hardships of the 30 years of looking after a mother with Alzheimer's. When I think and talk about my mother now, I remember all the great times we had and the inspiration she was to my life. I tell about it in the story which I wrote on the night in which she passed into glory, "My Mother, the Greatest Inspiration of My Life," linked in the left column.

So why am I writing an article about Alzheimer's? Well, maybe I can help to lighten some caregiver's load by sharing a technique which carried me through the tough times.

Caregiver Support Mechanics

Every day with an Alzheimer's loved one is full of episodes which appear tragic to the people involved but which would make perfect material for a stand-up comedian. Caregivers are, however, reticent to share those stories for fear of being regarded as callous. We would not want people to think that we are making fun of an unfortunate loved one. We tend to talk about all the misadventures and misunderstandings. Everyone knows the outcome of those stories at the start. After a while no one wants to listen to them anymore. I have attended countless Alzheimer support meetings. Week after week, I have heard everyone in the group tell of further deterioration since the last meeting. Those sharing sessions may assist caregivers in coping, but they do not lighten the load.

I frequently meet with former caregivers whom I got to know at those meetings. Some of them refuse to talk about the subject of caregiving. They do not want to talk about the loved one or about his passing. That is so different from my own experience. I love to talk about my mother. I tell everyone who will listen to me that she was a great woman and that she is no longer suffering from that debilitating sickness.

Stand back and laugh a little!

Why was my experience so different from that of my fellow caregivers? I give credit to my family physician who let me see the other side of the coin. He noticed that I always felt better after telling a story of some absurd incident. He noticed my tendency to turn these stories into comedies. He encouraged me to keep on sharing them. So I started to turn all the terrible things that happened during each day into funny stories which I would tell to my family and friends in the evening. I soon made an art form out of the comedy routine and the stories got better and better. I wish I had written them down or taped them, because I can't remember a single one of them now. Or maybe it is just as well that I don't. I now don't have anything to remind me of the hardships.

Those comedy stories saved my sanity. I did not love my mother less in telling them. I had been sharing the stories of a great woman all my life and everyone knew that I was not trying to ridicule her. I was merely trying to stand back from the problems and laugh a little.

And it worked. At least it worked for me. Maybe you can make it work for you.