The Cafe' Chronicles at SoHo/Coffeehouse/6832/
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* ON ADAM & EVE |
"On Adam and Eve"
( © copyright - 1998,1999 )
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
Teens and pre-teens all think parents are so stupid, living in the dark ages, completely out of touch with the changing of the guards. Yet, I know a story which proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that nothing has hanged since time began. Let's take a look at when it all started...
One beautiful, spring-like afternoon while Adam was napping, Eve wandered around the garden, all alone. She had asked Adam to go for a walk, but lately he'd rather nap than spend time with her. She had tried to be more entertaining and exciting for her man, but it seemed he had just lost interest. She needed something that would really please him and put the fire back in their relationship. She had no idea what to do and no other female to turn to. God was apparently busy, probably taking a nap, too. Eve decided she just needed something to occupy her time. So she began looking for a craft project to spruce up the hut.
Sitting amidst the beautiful trees, smelling the wondrous flowers of every fragrance and color, listening to the melodies of the many birds, and feeling the perfect breeze tenderly caressing her skin, Eve got to thinking. She felt neglected by her men -- God and Adam -- and wanted to do something nice to please them and get a little extra attention and affection. Without girlfriends, telephones, shopping malls, or craft bazaars, there wasn't too much to do there in the garden. Now, keep in mind, she knew nothing but perfection; pure, naive, and completely innocent to any form of negativity. Yet, she had a free will, a mind of her own, with the built-in marvel of rationalization and self- justification. As she sat there staring at the Tree of Knowledge, bearing the only forbidden fruit in the garden, she began to contemplate, as woman always do. I would imagine her thoughts went something like this:
God said not to eat that fruit or we would die. That doesn't make sense because we have the fruit from the tree of life which makes us live forever. Father loves us so much, He was probably just being overly-protective. He thinks we couldn't handle all that knowledge and wisdom because He sees us as children. Well, we aren't children and if we possessed such knowledge, we would be more like God and He would enjoy our conversation and companionship that much more. Everything Father has made is wonderful and beautiful, and to have this knowledge must surely be extraordinary. I will eat the fruit and when God sees that I am a better companion and better woman because of it, He and Adam both are bound to be pleased!
So she went and awakened Adam, explained her reasoning, and asked if he wanted to join her. Secretly, he was thinking, "No woman is going to be smarter than me", but he just shrugged his shoulders and said, "Why not? Sounds good to me -- but you go first." Eve took a bite of the juicy, delicious fruit and instantly, a strange, exotic sensation came over her. She smiled brightly and handed the fruit to Adam. After the first succulent taste he said, "Damn, this is good!" and he ate all the rest of the fruit, ignoring Eve's plea for him to share. Adam then experienced that same, foreign consciousness he had witnessed in Eve's expression. They oohed and awed in pleasure, enjoying each other's nakedness for the first time. When they were finished, Adam rolled over and Eve said, "Oh my God, what did we just do?" Adam, of course, said, "I don't know, but let's do it again!" Eve jumps up, runs to the nearest pond and takes a bath. The whole time she's washing up, she's scared to death, thinking, "How am I going to explain this to God? He's really going to be mad when he finds out what we did!" Adam is still laying under the shade tree, fast asleep, buck naked, with a smile on his face.
Eve quickly makes herself some clothes, then runs back to the hut and starts cooking dinner as if nothing had happened. She's calm and cool on the outside, but her gut is churning with panic. From one fragmented thought to another, her mind frantically leaps about as if skipping across a bed of hot coals. Scrambled bits of excuses and falsehoods mix together with possible courses of action. Adam comes strolling in, rubbing his stomach, and asks, "What's for dinner?" Eve can't even hear his question over her own thoughts. While she's stirring the gravy, Adam starts rubbing up against her back side, his hands wandering up and down the curves of her soon-to-be-swollen body. He whispers in her ear, "This little apron you're wearing sure is cute but I'd like it a lot better draped across the chair." In disgust, she forcefully nudges him away and tells him to leave her alone. Clueless, Adam backs up and asks, "What's the matter with you?!" She turns around and starts to cry, "I cannot believe you aren't concerned in the least about what God is going to say! Haven't you even thought about how mad He'll be?" Suddenly, Adam's eyes get big, he stands up straight and stiff, gasping, "Oh shit! I forgot about God! This is all your fault, woman. Turn that stove off, stop your sniffling and go make me some clothes to wear!"
No sooner does she get Adam's loin cloth stitched together than they hear God in the garden, calling to them. First they peek out the curtains to see where He is. They open the door and run to the nearest bush to hide, saying, "We're over here, Father." Now, of course, God already knows what they've done, but being a parent, he sets them up to see if they'll tell the truth. All parents do that. They shyly tip toe out from behind the bush, all hunkered down and looking at their feet. God asks them why they're wearing those silly looking clothes and they say, "Because you made us naked!" God responds, "Who told you that you were naked?" Adam said, "Well, nobody had to tell us, Father. We could see that for ourselves." God just tightened his lips, squinted his eyes, and did that intimidating parental "Mm-huh" thing. They both tilted their heads and tried to give God their most innocent and convincing smiles.
God considered Adam to be the responsible party, being the man of the house. It was his job to look out for Eve, protect her, and guide her. So He just asked Adam point blank, "Did you eat the fruit of knowledge I specifically told you not to eat?" Adam's heart pounded with anxiety, his hands trembled and he broke out in a sweat. He knew God was angry and he was in trouble, so he did what all men do. He said, "It was that woman you gave me, Father. She talked me into eating it." So you see, Adam not only blamed Eve, but God, too. If God had given him a better woman, he wouldn't have gotten in trouble. God, being the Father, wanted to get to the bottom of the whole ugly ordeal, so he asked Eve her side of the story. She couldn't believe her husband had just blamed it all on her to save his own butt. She had only wanted to please her men. In defense, she responded, "It was that snake of a man you created, Father. He deceived me into thinking I needed to change in order to please him. So I ate the fruit, believing it would make me a better woman. I asked Adam what he thought about it and he said it sounded good to him."
There we have it, folks, the beginning of passing the buck, refusing to take responsibility for one's actions. I have to continue the story because it's just too good to stop there.
God said, "So you two want to be little gods, sharing all my knowledge and power. You were so sure you were grown up enough to handle it and look what's happened in a matter of a few hours. Ok, Eve. You say you only wanted to please your husband and earn his attention and approval? Well, let me tell you what that desire has gotten you. For starters, you're pregnant. You're going to have a baby and it'll hurt like hell. Being pregnant won't be all that much fun either. You're boobs will get sore, you'll get fat, you'll have to pee every five minutes, you'll throw up and have endless heart burn, you'll cry about everything, and you'll feel like your stomach is about to explode. Labor will be excruciating and then you'll birth that baby, the size of a watermelon, through an opening the size of a lemon. After you've survived that, your husband over there is going to expect you to please him again and again. So you'll have more babies, which your husband won't help you take of because it isn't the babies he wants and pregnancy is your problem, not his. You will spend the rest of your life chained to your desire to please your man, and no matter what you do, you'll always worry about whether you've pleased him enough. Regardless of what you do to fix yourself up, or how you act to get his attention, there will be certain times each month when you feel he just doesn't love you or want you anymore. But when he wants to give you attention and affection, you'll want him to leave you alone because you'll feel like all he ever does is expect you to give of yourself, with nothing in return. He's going to have to go to work everyday now and leave you at home alone with all those crying, fighting children and when he gets home, he'll be too tired to help you or pay attention to you. You'll carry the load of the house, chores, and children all evening while your husband rests up from his hard day at work. By bedtime, he'll be rested up and you'll be exhausted, of course, but he'll feel like attention and affection then, when you no longer want it. The curse of woman is that her desire shall be to her husband and he will rule over her emotions all the days of her life. With all that knowledge and wisdom you've acquired, it's up to you to figure out how to beat this curse."
So you can see what Eve did to herself and all her daughters to come. To this day, females everywhere struggle for self-esteem and feelings of worthiness through a man's response to them. She gets the husband and whether he's emotionally attentive or negligent, she is never satisfied, until, at last, she conquers the beast within.
God then turned to Adam and told him the consequences of his actions.
"So, Adam. You liked the taste of that fruit so much you just couldn't get enough? I suppose you thought you'd be smarter than your wife if you ate more of the fruit than she did. Well, guess what? You get to work the land with your hands all the days of your life. You'll plow and till, plant, water, and harvest that fruit day after day so you'll always have some to eat. The job you do will determine how you feel about yourself, so you'll work your hands to the bone and nearly break your back in the ceaseless labor of doing better and having more so you can try to feel better about who you are as a man. But no matter how hard you work, nor what you accomplish, you'll never feel like it's enough. You've already started off by blaming me and each other for what you did, which has driven a permanent wedge between man, woman, and myself. So, from now on, you'll believe your wife doesn't understand what it's like to work so hard all day, and for what? A lousy piece of fruit, which she isn't even grateful for. And you won't understand her feelings and needs because you'll be too concerned about the size, quantity and quality of your precious fruit to help with the burden she carries. Male and female shall be driven by desires which they cannot fulfill. Just as woman is ever bound to despise the very desire she so cherishes, the curse of man is that he will be imprisoned by a vision of accomplishment he can never fully realize. Through woman, man shall come to the earth and only through woman can he find his way back to me. Yet, his own stubborn will to be master shall enslave him.
Now has come the time of truth or consequence. For all
your life, you will face deception, illusion, and rationalizations in the battle to find and hold on to the truth, ever reaping the consequences of your actions. You are now too smart for your own good, with just enough knowledge to be dangerous. Therefore, you guys can no longer live in the garden because I don't want you to eat anymore from the tree of life which would make you live forever. You see, you've opened up a whole new can of worms. With the conscious awareness of evil comes the responsibility to overcome evil. You'll have to learn through trial and error, repeating the same mistakes over and over. Though painful experiences shall be numerous, there is but one, simple lesson you must learn. Surrender your desires and once again, turn to me for your delight and fulfillment. The curse will then be broken and the wedge between man and woman will dissipate."
Not much has changed since the beginning of time. Every child who goes to a Christian Sunday School has heard the story of Adam and Eve. I learned at a very young age that they disobeyed God, got thrown out of the garden and didn't get to live forever. But I do not remember anyone ever telling me about the direct consequences which they brought upon earth-life for the entire human race.
From an entirely different perspective, I'd suggest the problem with the human race may be in-breeding. Adam and Eve were the only parents on earth, so once their children were grown, where do you think their grandchildren came from? Then the same thing happened centuries later when Noah and his family were the only survivors of the flood. We are all cousins of cousins of cousins. I'm thinking this may not have been a very good plan.
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Marilyn's Cookie Jars
~ Dr. Robert Anthony
Gayla L. Pledger.
The written material contained herein is the original work of
Gayla L. Pledger
( © copyright-Gayla L. Pledger ) ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
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