Part 1 Part 2
Part 3 Part 4
Part 5 Part 6
Part 7 Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11 Part 12
Part 13 Part 14
Part 15 Part 16
Epilogue
“It’s the hamsters, professor”, Uno said as he walked up to where John Snow was sitting. “Hamsters?” John Snow said. “What are you talking about now, Uno?” You haven’t been to Watcher’s establishment again, have you?” Uno looked searchingly for something on the table. “I say, professor, you don’t happen to have any tobacco, do you?” John Snow sighed inwardly as he fished the pouch out of his pocket. He should have known. “Now what’s this about hamsters then, Uno?” “Well”, Uno said as he lit his pipe, “you do know what makes InSideTheWeb run, don’t you?” I haven’t really given it any thought,” John Snow answered carefully. Uno had been at Watcher’s happy hour, he was sure of it. “As it happens”, Uno said blowing out a cloud of smoke, ”MS and I have discovered that it’s run by hamsters running in hamster-wheels. This explains why it’s so slow to load at times; the hamsters get tired.” John Snow nodded. This made sense. He should have figured it out long ago. “This doesn’t explain, though” he said, “why the Board is down now. Unless the hamster have all died, that is.” Uno shook his head, “they haven’t died. They’re on strike.” John Snow almost dropped the book he was holding in surprise. “On strike? Hamsters? Whatever for?” Was Uno drunk after all?
“I would think it quite obvious” Uno said, puffing his pipe. “They’re overloaded with work. All the new threads you see…the Newbies.” John Snow gave Uno a doubtful glance; was this like his Amalasan- theory? “Are you sure about all this, Uno?” “He is sure”, Moonshadow’s voice said from the door, “We both are.” Moonshadow motioned John Snow not to get up as she entered the room. “Uno and I figured this out last night. We went to InsideTheWeb itself.” Uno nodded. “Yes, it was the only logical thing to do. We had to find out somehow. It’s not a journey I’m eager to repeat, though.” John Snow raised his eyebrows, and as Moonshadow took a seat, she started to tell the story. "When we first started to recieve the messages, we knew something was up. So we decided to do a little searching. We snuck in, and decided it be best to split up; as that way we could see more in less time. Uno went towards the work rooms, and I headed to the office area... I'll tell my part, and let Uno tell his. Got anything to drink? Watchers wine left me a bit loopy." Having a glass of tea, Moonshadow went on, "I was creeping around, getting used to the place, when i heard voices. Flat against the wall I listened to part of a conversation between The Dumb One and the Mad Mule. 'But, Yoda, if we do not do something it will worsen!' Bela was whining. 'Be quiet fool! Have you no mind? That is the purpose! With all these newbies in Theoryalnd, thier ridculous posts will weaken the Chosen! We will take them as one would candy form a baby. They will be too busy ranting to notice as you Younglings slip in.' 'But if we leave the board like it is, no one will be at Theoryland... ' 'Enough! If you are so worried about it, use some of the newbies... sell them off as slaves for more grain, whatever, just get away from me!!' At this Bela came galloping towards where I was, I went back the way I came and ran into Uno." Moonshadow trailed off... mesmerized by the screensaver. Clearing his thraot, "Ahem, yes well. When Moonshadow knocked me over, I grabbed her and took her see what I had found. Puts up a bit of a fight when she doesn't see whos dragging her about." At a glance from Moonshadow he hurried on with the story. "Ahh, yes.. As we approached the last turn, the noise was starting again. We turned the corner and there they were... rows upon rows of hampster-wheels. We watched in silence as the hampsters ran, and the messageboards started appearing again. All of a sudden the message was there again, 'Page not available due to maintenance.' It was then we noticed it was quiet...." Moonshadow, spinning merrily in the office chair, picks up the story. "We looked over at the hampster-wheels... and saw they were gathering together in groups, heading towards us... The look of hunger, a few weeks worth at that, shone in thier eyes. “Anyway”, Uno said as Moonshadow trailed off, “when the hordes of hamsters came straight at us, I thought our eventful days had finally come to an end. An ironic death for two of the Chosen indeed: killed by the very forces driving InsideTheWeb.” “Imagine our amazement,” Moonshadow shot in, “when the hamsters ran right pass us and started eating at the threads!” John Snow leaped out of his chair. “Eating the threads! They were eating the threads?” Uno looked taken aback with the professors sudden reaction, “Yes, professor, that’s what we saw. They must have eaten several posts in the short time we watched.” Moonshadow nodded. “They did. The were very hungry; they even ate Termul’s foul tasting nonsense!” John Snow started pacing back and forth. “This explains everything,” he said. “The disappearing posts, why they Board has been down so often, the little teeth-marks on my it-was-Sammy-in-Baerlon-theory..I wonder how long it will take for them to eat the entire Board? I must make calculations.” John Snow started searching through his desk looking for a calculator while the two Chosen stared at him in amazement. “This is quite serious, professor,” Uno began. “Yes!” Moonshadow replied sharply. “No time for calculations. We must decide what must be done.” "That may be the whole point... maybe thats why Yoda is doing this... Perhaps he thinks if the hamsters eat all the threads, we will all be made to leave... and he would rule Theoryland..." Uno mused. "We cannot do anything to harm the hamsters, they are just doing what they were told, and what they were forced to do. From lack of food, they had nothign to turn to but the threads. Hmmm." Professor Snow commented, reaching for an ember to relight his pipe. "We have to inform the others... They must know about this... and maybe they can help with what to do." "Sounds good. Lets go. The Chosen should be at The Bar n Grille at this time of night." Moonshadow said, Setting her glass down and seizing Saidar and weaving a gateway. As soon as it was open, Uno flashed thru, searching for trouble; in typical Warder state of mind. Professor Snow followed Moonshadow thru the gateway, giving a little start as it closed when he was less than an inch away from it. "Hmm... Looks like everyones here, all right." Moonshadow mumbles waling thru the door to the Tavern. As we stood there, waiting, everyone turned towards us. "Well?" Frenzy quips, looking up from her game of stones. Uno sighed; the professor was probably going on about his newest theory, he had most likely forgotten all about the threat to the very existence of Theoryland. How they were supposed to convince the rest of the slackers was beyond him. Moonshadow walked up to his side.“Well”, she said, “I see people are as busy as ever. What is the subject this time? Rock stars who read WOT?” Uno nodded. “We’d better remind the professor why we are here; hopefully they’ll listen to him.” He walked up to where John Snow was standing: “There is no time for theories now, we need action!” John Snow looked at him in amazement; “There is always time for theories, Uno”, he said. “That’s why it’s called Theoryland.” Uno shook his head ruefully. “The hamsters, professor?” “Ah, yes,” John Snow began, “the hamsters. We’ll have to do something about that. Where is my notebook?” Moonshadow sighed. “Nevermind that, professor, will you help us convice these slackers that something must be done?” John Snow nodded, and for once his absentmindedness seemed to be gone. “And that,” Moonshadow finished, “is how we got out. The question now is what must be done.” John Snow nodded. “I can confirm the rightness of this. What we can do to stop it, is another matter. Now, DT, will you hand back my wallet?” At this he took his hand his pocket, only to discover that he wallet was still there. Jon Snow looked amazed. “Isn’t DT here?” he said. “No,” Goldeneyes grunted. “DT has left the Circle, professor. Too bad. We could use a ferret against those hamsters.” A loud crack was heard when Uno smashed the table in front of Goldeneyes. “ No!” he screamed. “Under no circumstances must the hamsters be hurt! The hamsters drive ISTW! Without the hamsters there would be no Board! “ Moonshadow slowly sipped her tea, while Uno and Watcher explained to the posters what had gone on in the last day. Whlie half listening she comtemplated what to do to stop the poor treatment of the hamsters... and how to get Thief involved... "Now you see why we have to do something! If we don't there won't be anymore ISTW, much less a Theoryland...." Uno finished. "I have a plan.... but it''l be a hard one. Bloody, and hard." Moonshadow spoke up from the corner of the bar. “Are you sure this will work, MS?” Sven and MS stood outside the entrance of the lair of the Thief. It was a rainy day, and MS knew Sven would much rather be in the comfortable surroundings of Theoryland bar and grill. MS gave him an irritated glance. “Yes, I’m sure it will work. As long as you let me do the talking. The Theif isn’t exactly too bright, you know.” Sven looked uncertain. “I know you and Uno worked this plan out” he said, “but Uno hasn’t even been around the last few days. Do you even know if he is still alive?” Moonshadow gave Sven a cool glance. “Uno is alive. I would know the moment something happened to him, as you know very well. Be quiet. There comes the Theif now.” The Thief looked uncertainly at the two Chosen waiting in front of the lair. He quickly looked around, obviously to see if there was anyone else present. “It is all right, DT”, Moonshadow said with a poorly concealed grin. “We are the only ones here. Are you hiding from the wrath of some angry shop owner again?" The Thief still looked uncertain. “What do you want”, he said. “Are you sure no one followed you?” Moonshadow sighed. “Your manners have obviously not improved since you left the Circle. Are we going to discuss this out here in the rain, or are you going to let us in?” The Thief gave her another uncertain look and then motioned her and Sven to enter. “So to what do I do this honour”, The Thief asked when the two Chosen had finally seated themselves in his damp and gloomy cave. He seemed to have regained some of his composure now. Perhaps he was convinced that no shop owner had followed them after all.
“Oh, nothing important”, Moonshadow said, “it’s just that people don’t think you are such a great thief any longer. The Dumb One said that you wouldn’t be able to steal his wallet no matter what.” The Thief looked sharply at Moonshadow. “Yoda said that?” “The Dumb One”, Moonshadow corrected in stern voice. “Yes, he said that.”
The Thief started pacing up and down the floor of the cave. “I’ll show him”, he muttered. Good, Moonshadow thought to herself, he swallowed the bait. “Finding him might prove difficult, she added, “he is in InsideTheWeb itself."
"Oh, please, you know I can find anyone anywhere." Thief said, giving them a look. "Well, I can show you a way in, incase you don't know of one...." Moonshadow trailed off. "Don't worry about that, I can get in. Anything else?" at the shake of Sven's head, Thief motioned to the door. "If you dont' mind, I have planning to do." "We go in not long after dusk, no one should be there. Everything we need is outside with Uno, it is just the four of us going in. If you are coming with us now....." Thief gathered his things, and followed them out the door. Walking towards ISTW, and watching the sun go down, they went over part of the plan, Thief was going to go look for the leader, and Sven was going with him. Uno and MS would take care of the hamsters. The minutes passed quickly and they were there. Pointing Thief in the direction of where MS had found Yoda and Bela, he and Sven headed off. Grabbing the huge bag, Moonshadow wove a shield around her and Uno, making them virtually invisible, and they went in the opposite direction. Before reaching the last turn to where the hamsters were, MS motioned for Uno to take a new turn. Giving her a questioning look, he adjusted his burden and followed. Before long, they were at a board many have heard of... Moonshadow ripped a hole in her bag, and started pouring it around the posts... As soon as she some around each of the posts, she motioned to Uno to open his bag... As soon as that was done, they headed towards the hamsters, leavin two wide trails behind them... "Now, with this shield, the hamsters won't see us... but before long they will smell this..special mixture I made up." Moonshadow said, looking up only to make sure of where they were heading. "When we get to the hamsters, I want you to rip open the bag, getting as close to the hamsters as we can. As soon as we dump it all, I'll remove the shield, and we'll run... The sudden apearance of us will make them want to follow to find out what we were doing here." Dragon Thief gave Sven an irritated glance as they were sneaking towards the most secret and least known parts of ISTW. “I don’t know why you had to come along in the first place”, he said. “I’m perfectly capable of stealing Yoda’s wallet on my own.” Sven gave him a sly look. “I just wanted to see for myself how such a great thief like yourself operates”, he said. This answer seemed to satisfy the Thief. “Well, as long as you don’t get in my way”, he muttered. The light seemed to get ever dimmer as they got deeper and deeper into ISTW. Sven thought he could hear footsteps behind them, and more than once he was sure he saw shining eyes staring at them out of the darkness. This was definitely not a place he intended to stay long. After what seemed like hours, the Thief suddenly stopped. “We should be right below Theoryland any minute now”, he whispered. “It’s very dusty here”, Sven replied. The Thief gave him a sharp look. “Just don’t sneeze!” Suddenly the Thief grabbed Sven’s arm and dragged him with him behind a barrel. When Sven got to himself, he understood why; Yoda had finally appeared. Moonshadow and Uno were making their way through the dark and gloomy corridors of ISTW leaving a trail of grain behind them all the way from the Asmobard. Now and then they heard strange noises and the buzzing of voices discussing trivial WOT-points. The latter seemed to subside the further they got from the Asmobaord, though. Moonshadow had stopped at a crossroad wondering which way to take, when Uno suddenly became aware of an evil and muley presence. He quickly pulled Moonshadow behind a pile of old posts and motioned her to be silent. Seconds later Bela trotted by carrying a load of mute points. “He is probably going to Theoryland”, Moonshadow whispered. “Let’s follow him”. Uno put his arm out to block Moonshadow's approach. "No, we must finish this trail, we can look for him later." Agreeing, they started back on thier path to Asmo's board. Sven and Thief watched Yoda walk around the board, settling at one post to read... At the site of that, Thief was up, and quietly running towards Yoda, Sven followed not 3 steps behind. As Thief was reaching for Yoda's wallet, Yoda still totally ingrossed in the post, Sven sneezed. Thiefs head jerked up, and Bela walked closer to the pair. Yoda looked away from the post, just as Thief was snatching him arm back, complete with the wallet. Thief saw Bela approaching, and touched Sven's arm as he ran back in the direction Bela was coming from. Immediately, Yoda and Bela turned and chased after them. Thief took the first turn on the left, hoping Sven would follow. Little did Sven know, Thief was taking him to Moonshadow's Bored. In less than an hour Moonshadow and Uno completed the trail of grain leading from the inner parts of ISTW and all the way to the Asmoboard. During that time nothing interrupted their efforts; only once did they hear distant screams and angry voices, which Uno assumed was Bela and Yoda chasing Sven and Thief. Good. The diversion had worked.
As they spread out the last of the grain, Moonshadow too time to look at some of the theories on the Asmoboard while Uno stood guard. She ruefully shook her head. They called this theories? Even the daftest of posters on Theoryland could do better. Rockstars who read WOT? Some messageboard this was! “A fine mess you have gotten me into!” DT panted as he and Sven ran towards Moonshadow’s board followed by Yoda and a grim looking mule. “Be quiet and run,” Sven muttered in reply. This hadn’t gone exactly as planned; Yoda was supposed to spot DT and chase after them, but not until they had gotten a head start. That mule ran awfully fast. Finally they could see a light in a see of boredom; Moonshadow’s bored! If they could only get inside! Yoda and the mad mule wouldn’t stand a chance against them there. The Bored was still distant, though, and Yoda and their pursuers were gaining on them. “Listen”, Uno said to Moonshadow as they walked through the gloomy corridors of ISTW, “I think I hear something.” This wasn’t the first time he had said that; it had been hours since they spread the trail of grain all the way from the inner of ISTW and to the Asmoboard, but no effects had been visible so far. Moonshadow had begun to doubt the wisdom of their plan. She did stop and listened, though. Perhaps Uno was right this time. He was a warder, after all. At first she heard nothing, and was about to suggest that they should continue, but then she could hear the distant sound of small feet. First it was only vague, barely audible nose, but then it grew until it overwhelmed everything else and seemed to fill her mind. It was like the sound of a tidal wave. “I think we better get out of here”, she thought she heard Uno say. Mooing hamsters. If Dragon Thief had ever wanted to know what it was like being pursued by a mad mule, his wish had certainly come through. When he turned back, he could see Bela’s eyes shining with a red light. The mule had never seemed just as insane as he seemed now. Yoda seemed to be falling behind; all those hours ordering employees around didn’t seems to do much for his fitness. The mule was gaining, though, and that was bad enough. “This has to be the most boring part of the entire Web”, DT thought to himself. Surprising how calm his thoughts were considering the situation. Boring? Could they really be this close? There it was, a bright star in a sea of boredom: Moonshadow’s bored. Suddenly DT felt as if the ground had been torn from under him, and he discovered to his surprise that he was lying face down on the ground. “Get up!” He heard Sven’s voice hiss. “The muley mare is right behind us!” DT looked up and saw the mule coming. He couldn’t run any longer, it would have to be this place. Warily he took out his small knife; much good that would do against a mad mule! The mule now towered over him like a dark cloud of stupidity, a cloud that seemed to swallow all hope. Then, suddenly, a thought struck him, a thought that seemed sent by the Light: What was the mule’s greatest fear? To end up as glue! He did happen to have a small bottle of glue in his inner pocked; he had only just recently stolen it. Quick as a flash he thrust the bottle right in front of Bela’s face. “Boo!” He shouted with all his breath. “Boo!” The effect was astounding: Bela, the dreaded Nightmare, the Horse of the Dark itself, turned and ran. Sven pulled DT to his feet. “What in the name of the Tamyrlin did you do?” He asked wide-eyed. “No matter, you can tell me later. Let’s get to the Bored before the mule decides to come back. DT nodded. He could still hear Bela neighing in the distance.
Hamsters concluded Moonshadow and Uno dived into a link taking them away from ISTW seconds before the horde of hamsters would have been over them. When Moonshadow looked back, she could see the creatures streaming into the Asmoboard; that place would have trouble for a long time to come. She didn’t feel much rejoice, though: who would have thought that there were so many of the hamsters? The situation was out of control; all their efforts might prove to be in vain. “Be careful with those theories, you clumsy louts!” Uno could hear Layla’s voice all but roar as he and Moonshadow stepped into the familiar halls of Theoryland. It was good to be home, but what was all the commotion? There was a mill of newbies carrying theories around, under careful supervision by the Ancients and the Elders. He could see Sven and DT sitting by the bar; they had obviously gotten out in one piece. Good. “No, don’t put it there!” Layla shouted. “It’s supposed to be over there with the others!” They seemed to be moving, Uno thought. He hurried after Moonshadow who was already walking over to where the Tamyrlin was standing. He was watching some newbies carefully packing the Crystal Throne. “What in the name of Jordan is going on here Tamyrlin?” Moonshadow said. The Tamyrlin looked up. “Ah, Uno and MS! You are back. Good. We were getting worried.” He wiped his forehead. “What is going on? We are moving.” The Tamyrlin looked a bit embarrassed. “We all appreciate the effort you two have made,” he said finally, “but ISTW is just not safe any longer. Reports say that the Asmoboard has been stormed by hordes of wild hamsters. Who could be next in line?” Moonshadow could barely conceal her grin. “Who could indeed”, she muttered in reply. “Well”, she said to Uno, “if we are moving, we’d better to and check out the new place as well.” In March 2000 Theoryland moved from ISTW and to its new home at Cgiforme. The new place was, however, not flawless. The troubles that later occurred and the labours of getting a permanent home for this Jewel of WOTism are elsewhere recorded.
Thanks for taking the time to read this... whatcha think? :)
Moonshadow
The Story continues in... The Troubles
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