The deadline has now passed, and you still haven't made your decision. Before we continue with all this ransom stuff, I would like to share with you one of the many stories that my younger sister has told me over the years. The story is about a little bunny by the name of FuFu. Little Bunny PhooPhoo was scooping up field mice and bopping them on the head. Then down came the nice fairy and said, "Little Bunny FooFoo, I don't want to see you scooping up the field mice and bopping them on the head." The Fairy gave little bunny PhuPhu 3 warnings.
Well, Mrs. Welton- you used your first warning by putting a "3" on the board.
You used your second warning by putting a "6" on the board.
With the help of simple mathematics (I would like to take time out of this ransom note to thank all my math teachers: Without them, I probably wouldn't have been able to do this simple math problem. God Bless the Math Teachers!), you can see that you only have 1 warning left before your picture is released.
Because of your stubbornness, I have decided to assign a value to every digit (and I am not talking gorillas!):
1- You are going to deliver 1,000,000 extra credit points in small unmarked bills to the drop sight of my choice by the deadline of my choosing.
2- You are going to bring cookies for the class of my choice.
3- You are going to be stubborn and allow me to do what I want to do with the picture.
4- You are going to give me a check for 200,000 extra credit points and 800,000 extra credit points. (If you choose this one, I can run off some blank checks for your convenience).
5- You are going to sing the "I'm a Little Teapot” song during attendance everyday until the end of school. (every period you have class!)
6- You are going to let the class of my choosing out 5 minutes early (if they want to leave) everyday till the end of the year. When they leave, you can’t count them tardy, late, unexcused, absent, or harm them or their grade in any manner.
7- You are going to equally divide the 1,000,000 extra credit points amongst the class of my choosing.
8- You are going to dress up in a gigantic chicken or banana suit all 3 days your classes take finals. (and stay dressed up for the duration of your final)
9- You will do that Gypsy dance you did at the Homely Queen Contest; You will do it every hour on the hour between 7:30 A.M. Central Standard Time and 3:30 P.M. Central Standard Time on May 21st, 22nd, 25th, 26th and 27th, 1998.
0- In honor of Too Tall Tom and his “doughnut dipping” (“The temperature is Below the Doughnut” as he would say!) you will buy doughnuts for the whole class any time someone gets a “0” on a test, quiz or homework assignment from now until the end of the 97-98 school year.
Any other letter or symbol signifies non-compliance.
If you have multiple lines of letters with multiple letters in each line, the letter furthest to the right on the uppermost line will be counted. (A.K.A. Where you would start reading if it was an English paragraph.)
P.S. Your interrogation attempts have been useless. You’ll never crack me or my cohort. As a wise man once said, “Nanner Nanner Boo Boo!”
P.P.S. How do you spell “FooFoo”? (Fufu?, PhooPhoo?, PhuPhu?)
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