Firstly, Mrs. Welton, I would like to thank you for not meeting my demands. I have been looking forward to having fun with your picture. I have to think hard the next few days (and over this nice long weekend), so that I will be able to utilize * this picture to it’s fullest potential. If there is one thing I don’t like, it would be wasted potential.
I think the first thing I am going to do with your picture is put it on my friend’s webpage. I talked to her, and she said that she would be more than happy to scan it for me, and then put it on her webpage... for all the special kids of South High to see whenever they please. I hope this plan comes through, for the sake of all the kids who attend South High.
My informant told me that the tee-shirt idea went over pretty well with the South High Students in your 3rd hour. Would you please ask them to start thinking of some clever slogan to put on the back. These last few ransom letters have been draining what little creativity I had to start with. If you don’t ask them personally, I will just have my friend put the question up on her webpage, and they can answer via the Internet.
I would like to inform everyone that Little Bunny FooFoo is spelled “Foo Foo” or “Foo-Foo”. I was unsure in my note... but since that time, my inquisitive * posse * of associates did some researching and found only two spellings for “Foo Foo”.
Hind site is 20/20, at least that’s what my Mom always says. (and I am starting to think that she is right. Who would have thunk it?) In retrospect, I wish I would have said this in my second letter... but since I didn’t I will add it to this one. Better late than never (once again, something my mom always says.)-- When you put the “3” on the board, I wish that instead of assigning “non-compliance” to the digit 3, I would have said that three was the compilation * of “1” and “2” thus signifying that you wanted to donate 1,000,000 extra credit points to me AND you wanted to bring cookies.
F.Y.I: You used your 3rd warning today by putting a star on the board. (By the way, I wouldn’t recommend leaving the 5 sided star on the board. Those wacky gang people who use a 6 sided star as their symbol probably won’t be happy. I know that some group uses a 6 sided star because someone disrespectful has been putting graffiti containing 6 sided stars in the bathrooms. I had better not say anything else about gangs because I don’t want the gangs to get mad at me. Perturbing * one teacher will probably get me in enough trouble for one week.)
Well, your 3 warnings have all been used and your time is up. Do not pass go; Do not collect $200. I now get to have fun with the picture.
But-- there is still time for you to change your mind... for double the cost. As of 1am on Thursday, May 21st, 1998, the digits I assigned yesterday have all changed: The ante is now doubled: 1- 2,000,000 extra credit points in small unmarked bills; 2- cookies for 2 classes of my choice; 3- You are going to be stubborn and allow me to do what I want to do with the picture. 4- You are going to give me 2 checks for 200,000 extra credit points and 2 checks for 800,000 extra credit points. 5- sing the "I'm a Little Teapot” song during attendance and right before dismissal everyday until the end of school. (every period you have class!) 6- You are going to let the class of my choosing out 10 minutes early (if they want to leave) everyday till the end of the year. When they leave, you can’t count them tardy, late, unexcused, absent, or maim them or their grade in any manner. 7- You are going to equally divide the 2,000,000 extra credit points amongst the class of my choosing. 8- You are going to dress up in a gigantic chicken or banana suit all day on May 28th & 29th, and June 1st, 2nd, and 3rd, 1998. 9- The Gypsy dance... You will do it every half an hour between 7:30 A.M. Central Standard Time and 3:30 P.M. Central Standard Time on May 21st, 22nd, 25th, 26th and 27th, 1998. 0- In honor of Too Tall Tom and his “doughnut dipping” you will buy doughnuts and a can of soda for the whole class any time someone gets a “0” on a test, quiz or homework assignment from now until the end of the 97-98 school year.
Looking over that list of demands, I think it would make a great song... kinda like the “12 days of Christmas”, only different. I know, it could be the “9 Day Till school’s Out”. Hey-- what a coincidence... there are only 9 days till school is out. (or 6 for those of us who aren’t taking finals).
* The person next to main the lab just suggested that I use the thesaurus. Look at all the complicated words it suggested using. Neat. (or “groomed” as the thesaurus suggested... I guess it doesn’t always work!)

Back to the "Welton Homepage"
Note 4
Free Webpage
1