Allright I've finally given in. Well technically this is giving in again cuz I had a journal up before and I never updated it as much as I would have liked or as SOME people (ahem...) would have liked. hehehe. So here goes my Journal again... I hope you all enjoy this.
Sept. 17th, 2001
I'm on to page threeeeee!
May 14, 2001
Allright I need to move this journal to Page two. Its too long like this!
May 3, 2001
holy freaking god. its 2:39 am and i'm up writing this?! i have a long rant about schools and so on that can wait until after my midterm. but to jog my memory, science majors, midterms, studying, and BLEAH! understanding and life.
I'm here! actually i'm in the library wasting time til my next class. today i took TWO mother freaking midterms and I dunno how pretty this is going to turn out. there are a ton of people waiting to use the computers and i feel bad for sitting here and using them but oh well? hehehehe. when i get back later tonite i will finish off my journal and my long deserved rant because i won't be studying again til! the weekend... =(
K i'm still at the library but i have absolutely nothing to do and about half an hour to kill. SO. here i go.
over the weekend i called my parents to tell them how much housing was going to cost next year. while i am accepting of the fact that i'm living on campus next year, on campus life does leave more to be yearned. like my own kitchen. which comes in VERY handy when i'm tired of eating all the crap that the dining hall dishes out day in and out. i mean you can only eat the same salad so many times before you notice the mushrooms are styrofoamish and the lettuce doens't seem like lettuce but very very thin pieces of velvet. so i tell my dad that housing is going to cost $9,379. yes a rip off. but i'm living in a double in the nicer buildings which is quieter for upper division students. i COULD live in the res halls again but i don't really appreciate freshmen running down the hall at 3am screaming like i used to do. i only have two more years left and i really WOULD like to leave in that time. if i wind up spending like another year here i think i would scream and then ask to tack on the second major because it would finally be worth my time. i tried to figure out if i could graduate in five more quarters, saving a buttload of money (maybe around 3k) by not going one quarter and just coming back for my graduation(s). anyways my dad is upset. i told him they were raising the prices. i mean hello they're building another res hall which has taken roughly twenty years and energy prices are going through the roof. something had to give. my dad starts getting all pissy at me for having to pay "top dollar for a liberal arts education." OH MY FREAKING GOD i got so mad. apparently anything that i do that is not science or engineering related is freaking WORTHLESS. throughout my education, i noticed this trend... my most difficult subjects were always in math and science. i mean frankly, i hate the subjects. my easiest year was when i took algebra in high school. VERY easy. had a very visual teacher and the concepts came to me easily. when i took geometry well i did get a's but it took a while to understand everything. when i got into higher math everything just WAS NOT clicking. maybe its my fault. its certainly not the teacher cuz i had the best possible teacher for math analysis and calc. i just didn't get it and frankly after awhile i didn't really care. all i had to do was pass. i knew that my life wasn't going to be dictated by math because i find NO joy in solving the integrals of some number. whoopee. i also got away with only taking bio and chem in HS. bio is so easy. i kinda like bio. but the chemical processes are just not for me. chem most of the time i would bother sueh and ask her how to do this. i signed up for chem ap which i promptly dropped and did more drama classes. WHICH I ENJOY. i loved being on stage and performing to an audience. solving chemical equations and molarity and whatever? in one ear and out the other.
so brings me back to my dad. somewhat. he is apparently angry with me that i'm doing a "liberal arts" degree. well no technically its a social science degree and I LIKE WHAT I'M DOING. i find politics to be interesting and i love asian american studies. but these things mean nothing to my parents. we're lucky if they even vote in a non presidential election year. special elections? yeah right. the only thing they care about is getting the high school nearby built and lowering their taxes in any way possible. they highly value my brother because he is going into engineering, which he right now HATES. tons of calc and so on. i mean yes you do have to pay your dues before getting onto the fun stuff, but if you pay your dues and don't do well enough they kick you out. how's that for fair? i right now feel that if i don't go to law school i'm a worthless bum and wasted all my parents money. well i value my time and i don't want to go change my major to something i know i don't like just to make them happy. i hate it when people dangle money over me and think that they can control me with it. its a sick sad world when people start doing that. i was going to give econ a shot but after taking econ 1 i knew this wasn't for me. besides when you look at the theories THEY NEVER WORK IN REAL LIFE! i hate accounting or anything to do with adding or subtracting. damnit can't i just be a political moron? apparently not cuz that's too visible and easily seen. i have NOTHING against people that like what they're doing and those that have wanted to be a doctor since they were a little kid and so on. if you enjoy it and like what you do, more power to you. i like my major right now and what i'm studying. apparently its just WRONG because there is no potential for money. apparently no one has noticed but politicans do make a decent living and gets TONS of things comped. and i don't neccessarily want to be a politician. i'd rather be a strategist. i don't have to put myself in the public eye as much. but to live a life dictated by someone else or even just so you can get money? what kind of quality of life is what? yeah i sound like an idealist right now but i want to have a life i enjoy. not one where its difficult to wake up each day cuz i have to go to the same old boring job that i can't stand and was forced into.
there's a problem in this world when everything is driven by money. apparently happiness accounts for diddily squat nowadays. if you're not going into high tech or business you are also stupid. well we always need lawyers. there are always gonna be politicians unless you want the world to run itself. and if the world runs itself its going to be total anarchy and you'll wind up screaming for the politicians to come back and then whining that they dont represent you when in reality you don't give a flying hoot what the hell they do as long as they lower your taxes. i read an article that asians are not as likely to enter politics but they are more likely to donate money. now we have the whole "johnny chung" scandal with the EVER so brilliant democrats (i'm independent but mostly democratic sympathies) and no one is willing to rise up to the forefront because it isn't safe.
money can't buy you happiness people. it can buy you a ton of sorrow. i'd rather be happy and at least able to support myself and whoever i share my life with than alone and freaking miserable and bitter.
May 1, 2001
13 months. A whole year and a month.
April 30th, 2001
dude its like 3 in the freaking morning, and i'm still freaking awake. its tiring... i'm at work right now... i think i drank my coffee too fast cuz the effect is DEFINTELY wearing off right now. darn festival of books! i got up early on my weekend (dude 10am is early for a weekend for me. usually my ass is out of bed by 2pm)to walk down there and check it out. i got some calvin and hobbes books cheap "yay!" and i got simpson's books for james and evelyn and steph, so they can have their fun. the simpson's animators were there so they drew the characters in the books for them. too bad they would only do the main family though. they said they weren't sure if they still remembered how to draw all the other characters. it sucked for james and evelyn cuz james wanted apu and evelyn wanted itchy and scratchy. BWHAHAHAHA oh well. i went through hell to get those drawings. i waited in line for so long on sat and then on sun i went back and cut on through with my special pass. whee!
i just wanted to say that i am very thankful for the good things going on in my life right now. school is SEMI part of it. i can't wait for these stupid GE's too be over. i wanna finish them off now! they are SO freaking boring. i go to my psychobio class and practically nap the whole hour. now i know why i can't stand science. if i don't understand it i'll wind up dozing off. i can't stand it. but i am grateful for arjay and all the times we've spent together and when we aren't together (which unfortunately because of school is often) the hours we spend on the phone talking or chatting or whatever.
i realized next year i need to get my life back. i need to commit myself to ACA again or else actually participate in the house. i am determined to be in next year's culture show for ACA. i missed being a part of everything when i went to watch this year's show. even though i didn't go to most of my family activities, it was still fun. i miss ACA. =(
dude next year i also want an apartment. i mean, my senior year. next year i'm living in the dorms again because my parents have deemed it super duper convenient. but i think apartment life is going to be cheaper, ESPECIALLY if i can get the university apartments. furnished and pays for gas, electricity and water. thank god. electricity is SO freaking expensive here. i can't stand it. oiiiiiii. a "single" is like under 6000 a year but i dunno what they mean by single. they have three bedroom apt's for three people which sound pretty good. just need to find three roommates. hehehe. well technically two. but its not that hard methinks. at least i'll finally get my own room and some privacy. living in the dorms is nice and convenient but its not private at all!!! bleah. i think that's the end of this rant for this lovely morning.
April 27, 2001
OMG today I open up my e-mail and i see this:
Cindy - Nothing got resolved in the final 2 episodes. They wanted to leave
everyone wanting more. I hope you enjoy my films. Take care and thanks for watching.
Casper
OMG! I GOT A RESPONSE BACK FROM CASPER VAN DIEN!
a little background on this. NBC had this really campy soapy nighttime soap called "Titans." It had tons of famous peeps, Yasmine Bleeth, the mom but i forgot who played her, Jack Wagner, and this ultimate super hottie Casper Van Dien. Well i went to Casper Van Dien's Website and saw a place where you can e-mail Casper and he had a reputation for actually e-mailing back. so i gave it shot. and i got that!!! woohoo!
April 19th, 2001
Yeah so anyways I'm like at the library right now with really nothing else to do and no motivation to do it in. I have discussion at four so nothing much is going on. I finally did the research for my sociology journal though. Very interesting methinks. I went to farmer's market today in westwood. It was seriously busy. I staked out my own little area in the middle of it and stood there. Like an idiot. Doing nothing. Kinda fun to think about. Hehehe.
Today the Sharks play the Blues. And I'll be in freaking class for the beginning of it! AUGH i hate having to run back up the hill. This is like the second week in a row! Next time I want the games to be the ones where there is a Wednesday Friday whatever series. A girl can dream eh? Since I don't have class on Mon, Wed, OR Fri. HEHEHEHE. I am so cool.
Today in history I seriously took a third grader's test. Not that i'm complaining. And not that it was that easy, but still. The format was the same. Multiple Choice and matching. I did decently well. I thought it was on the easy side. I can deal. Hehehe. the next one is gonna be worse. I can sense it...
That's it for me today. Tune in next time, same website, same um webplace. hehe
April 17th, 2001
Yay! Today was a rocking good day. Sharks won, evening up the playoff series at 2 all, A's won, and the Giants won! And what was super special was that Barry hit homerun no. 500! Yay! Now THAT is a total accomplishment. You have to have some kind of power and talent to be in the league that long and to reach such a milestone.
I'm currently driving Van nuts so she can look for her separators. I was gonna use separators to separate the entries on this page cuz I don't like the way the horizontal rules look all that much. HEHEHEHEHE.
Virge also starting saying today that she wasn't a krod. WHATEVER is all I have to say. Because she came up with "krod" she is by association a "krod." Even arjay agrees with me. But he has no choice. =) Anyways she started maintaining that she was "krodLESS" and i'm like "whatever. you're always gonna be a krod." I tried to come up with a new krod name for her but it just wasn't clicking. I mean... krodenstein? yeah.....
This quarter is getting off to an okay start. I think the only class I have to do constant work in is Sociology because I have discussion every week. I have a test on Thurs in history! Yikes! I know enough to get a C but i WANT an A. So far every history class I've taken here I've gotten B's and I so totally could have gotten A's if I learned how to write and BS faster. You'd think I'd have that down by now... hehehe
AAAAAUGH sometimes I wish I was up in Norcal! Jim said he was going to have a house warming party in a month and I can't go! Yeah like I'm gonna say to my parents "hey i'm home but i'm going to a guy's house warming party in dublin." I wanted to go home Memorial Day Weekend more because Arjay's friend Kari is getting married. One of the nicest people in the world. She's also a riot and gangs up on Arjay with me. Hehehe. We'll see. The ticket, even on Southwest Air, which i HATE flying, is 127. ARRGH anyone have a free plane ticket anywhere?
I must go to bed. I haven't done a productive thing today, except for the house newsletter. hehe