Right Here I have every South Park episode Summarized right here, and I also tell how Kenny got killed in the episode. Note: I put the specials sperate from the regular episode. Now the specials and the whole season is are posted now. If you want to see South Park, it is on at 10 pm every Wednesday and Saturday night on Comedy Channel, and on Sunday at midnight on the same channel. Warning! This show is not for everyone. Good news to video game lovers also. South Park will be having out a video game of the show. I heard there will be a Nintendo 64 and Playstation Version coming soon.
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Episode 1
First episode. Kyle's brother gets captured by aliens, Carmen was involved in alien test the night before and gets an annal probe that is intact up his rear end and passes fiery gas all through the episode.
Kenny gets killed by: Being shot by the alien spacecraft, gets hit by a car, and stomped by frightended cows.
Episode 2
Cartman wins an essay contset and meets Cathy Lee Gifferd to present an award to him for winning the essay contest. When Mr. Garisson hears about this, Mr. Hat goes beserk about how Cathy Lee upstaged them in a talent show when Mr. Garisson was a kid. Carmen also bulks up on some weight gaining stuff to look good.
Kenny gets killed: Shoot by Mr. Garrison and gets his head punctured into a flag pole.
Episode 3
Jimbo takes the kids camping and hunting in the mountains. Volcano erupts, we learn the legend of scuzzelbutt.
Kenny gets killed: by accidently gets shot by Stans.
Episode 4
The South Park Cows take on their archrival and look great with Stan at Quarterback, but can they meet spred. Can Stan get into the game when he finds out that his dog is gay. We also get to meet a weirdo guy called Big Gay Al and his Gay animal sanctuary. (Note: Stan's dog, Sparky is voiced by George Cloony.)
Kenny gets killed: by getting trampled over the rivals. OUCH!
Episode 5
Kyle gets an elephant for his pet, but his parents do not want him to have it around. So, when the kids learn about cloning in school, they get an idea to use Cartmen's pig, Fluffy to mate with the elephant. We also see there that they some rivals. We get to meet the insane cloning guy. Clones Stan, Stan's clone wrecks havock on the city. Stan has problems with his sister beating him up.
Kenny gets killed: by getting trown into a microwave in Stan's house.
Episode 6
Stan's grandad reaches the 102 year old mark and wants to get his life over with, so he wants Stan to kill him. During that same night, the kids favorite show "Terrance and Phillip" is shown and Kyle's mother hears what is on the show when Ike and Kyle was watching it. She then has the parents of South Park go to the television network to stop the show. Stan is still figuring out to kill his grandad and everyone gives him answer with a multiple of a 20 foot pole. (Note: There is a very funny line in this show. When Stan asks this Jesus guy for help on his assisted suicide problem, and Jesus says he would never touch that with a 60 foot pole, Stan yells out "God damn it." when he still had the phone on the line with Jesus, and Jesus says, "I heard that.)
Kenny gets killed by: Being touched by death
Episode 7
A new kid called Damien enrolls in South Park Elementary. It's Cartmen's Birthday, Satan Battles Jesus on the same day as Cartmen's birthday. Kenny gets turned into a duckbill platypus.
Kenny gets killed by: Accidently getting shot by Jimbo at the match when he thought that Kenny was in his duckbill platypuss form.
Episode 8
South Park Elementary class goes on a field trip to a archeological site, and Stan finds a triangle that Cartmen threw away that has some power, and Babra Streisand wants it. Cartmen wants it also for some fame. Also we see that Sydney Porte, Robert Smith (The actual Robert Smith for The Cure does his own voice.) This whole show is some stupid version of a Godzilla monster movie. Streisand becomes Mecha Streisand, Sydney Porte becomes Ultraman, forget who turns into the turtle monster guy, but Robert Smith turns into Mothera.
Kenny gets killed by: Getting strangled by a tether ball.
Episode 9
Cartmen has been missing school and the kids wonder what is going on. They find Cartmen having a tea party with stuffed animals. When the trio tells the guidence counsler this, they record Cartmen, and send it into "America's Stupidest Videos" when they here of a one million dollar prize money. Cartmen also goes on a quest to see who his dad is. Cartmen then gets money for a DNA test after they trio wins second place on "America's Stupidest Videos". (Begining scene is different.)
Kenny gets killed by: getting run over by a train after a wild go-cart ride.
Episode 10
I never saw this episode, but it suppose to be a "Terrance and Phillip Show" where the two try to stop Sadam Husan from taking over Canada. (This was a stupid publicity stunt for April Fools Day after it was announced that we find out the week this episode aired that we were going to find out who was Cartmen's dad.)
Season 2
Episode 11
We now get to see about the big episode cliffhanger that put us in suspense, but Meffesto is killed and everyone is wanting to know who done it. Chef and the kids get Meffesto to the hospital, but a major Blizzard is shutting down South Park. America's Most Wanted tries to do a stupid reinactment of Mefesto being shot. Suts down the scene, and the whole place gets shut down and everyone is trapped inside. The South Park citizen then go to canabalizim when they get hungry. We do find out who Carmen's dad is. (I'm not telling.)(We also see Kenny somehow come back to life in the begining, but gets himself killed again. Is everyone so self-centered in South Park?)
Kenny gets killed by: Getting electrocuted, and frozen while fixing some power generators at the hospital.
Episode 12
Someone is making love into chicken, and we find out the South Park's own police cheif cannot read. He retires, and the mayor wants him to go back to school. He does and looks at books that this mastermind tells him to look at to find him. This really does work.
Kenny gets killed by: Geez! Kenny almost gets killed twice. During a riot, car flips over him, and gets the door open and he's O.K., he gets shoot at and he's O.K., at the end credits he finally gets killed when a tree hits him.)
Episode 13
Then school counselor gets fired when he accidently shows a sample of marijuna when he talks about how drugs are bad and it comes up missing. The town pick on him and all of a sudden, he takes some different drugs that he said were bad. Ike has a bris and Kyle invites his friends. When they four kids find out what a bris is, Kyle tries to hide Ike. (Note: We see that the people who are high in this episode watch the Tumitubles. This list include Mr. Garrison who looks like he's stoned and must have stolen the marijuna, and some people at the Betty Ford Clinic that the guidence counslor gets thrown into for rehab courtsey of the South Park Elementry school principal who thinks he is still high.)
Kenny gets killed by: Falling into a grave during a somewhat fake Ike funneral. This one has Kyle doing his line during the "They killed Kenny" scene like he doesn't care.
Episode 14
Stan Kyle gets hurt playing dodgeball and has to go to theschool nurse which have been a lot of horror stories about her. When then find out about her "condition" and when Kyle's mom hears them talking about it. She makes it a mission to make her feel special even after she doen't want the help. The South Park Elementary Cows plays dodgeball against a school from Denver, Washington D.C., and China. But can they beat the Chinese even even with their secret weapon.
Kenny gets killed by: Getting himself splattered on the wall of the Chinese auditorium. This one also has Kyle saying his line for the "They killed Kenny" scene. He says this one in pain.
Episode 15
The kid's class has to do a report on the Vietnam War and Stan's Uncle Jimbo is interviewed by the four about the war, and when they hand in the report, Mr. Garisson doesn't believe the report. So the kids set up some pranks for Jimbo's show that has been doing a documentury on the Mexican tree frog. They four set up some hoaxes involving the frog and found out it's a lie. Meanwhile, the Jesus and Pals show, South Park's very popular call in talk show is going downhill when Jimbo's show is on the air. The producer of Jesus and Pals makes it into a real talk show that is Jerry Spinger like and has Jimbo, Ned, and the four kids appear on the show, and a Jerry Springer like brawl starts in the studio. Then at the end. Guess. (We see Sadum Hussain with Satan at the end of this one.)
Kenny gets killed by: Being dismembered during the Jerry Springer like brawl on the Jesus and Pals show.
Episode 16
When Ms. Crabtree snaps and crashes a bus, she leaves the third grade class of our 4 heroes (They cannot get out of the bus because of the monster.), and meets up with a truck driver that ships drugs and gets Ms. Crabtree into being a comedian. Meanwhile the kids remember some old times that are mixed up and ending up with everyone eating ice cream or with Stan kissing Wendy. They also end with them say "Now that was a sticky situation." The town parents worry about the class and think they ran away and start looking for them. The parents also do some stupid idiotic song.
Kenny gets killed by: Being eaten by the monster.
Episode 17
The state of Colorado banns fireworks and Everyone in our group is depressed. Cartman takes swimming lessons at the public pool, and finds out that first graders do what the others have said that first graders do. Mr. Hat is missing. Giant ash snake terrorizes the U.S. after South Park subs a giant ash snake for their fireworks. The mayor has her period. Jimbo and Ned go to Mexico to get fireworks and get in jail before they take a ride on the ash snake. (Note: Dr. Katz makes an apperance and dies while Mr. Garrison talks about losing Mr. Hat. Wrong shirt on Dr. Katz though.)(Now you have to feel bad for me also. Due to fires here in Florida no one except professional shows could due fireworks. Fortunatly for me I wasn't in the area that were on fire.)
Kenny gets killed by: Having a bunch of bleachers fall on him while getting away from the giant ash snake. Twice if you see the happy foursome's flashback when they were little and showing them playing with firecrackers, and Kenny gets killed there.
Episode 18
Hollywood moves their film festival to South Park, Wendy gets Stan to go to some Independent films when Mr. Garison asks the class to do a report on the films. Mr. Hankey returns and has a problem with the Hollywood people messing up his ecosystem with vegetables and kos-kos. Chef tries to sell food for profit.
Kenny gets killed by: Being trampled by a bunch of people coming out of the movie theater. (The do not do they killed Kenny line.)
Episode 19
Kenny has the Chicken Poxs and the rest of the kids paretns want the kids to get infected o their kids are immune to the Chicken Pox by having the kids spend the night at Kenny's house. Everyone does except for Kyle and Shiela wants Kyle to still get it by playing with Kenny, We find out that Stan and Kenny's dads were friends, Stan gets really sick with the Chicken Poxs, Kyle finds out that the parents purposly let them get Chicken Pox. The kids then get even with them by infecting their parents with Herbes.
Kenny gets killed by: Just dying in the hospital from Chicken Poxs. (Dumb. Isn't it.)
Episode 20
The kids take a trip to the science museum to have some of the kids hynotise to volunter at the museum by the head of the museum hinself. Cartmen triesout for a Cheesey Poofs comercial.
Kennt gets killed by: Having his head blow up when Stan and Kyle overload the star machine at the planetarium part of the science museum. (They killed Kenny line is different by replacing they with we. That was the only change in the line this time.)
Episode 21
Carmen is building a treehouse so Stan and Kyle build one so they can play "Truth or Dare" with the girls. Stan has problems at home and the his parents want a divorce. Stan's world then gets turned upside down when his step dad wants him to do chores and chop fire wood and acts to emotional when Stan refuses to do anything, and Stan gets too commgused when his ex-dad gets a few visits of visitation rights. Kenny gets some girls for Carten's treehouse and it is a big teenage party.
Kenny gets killed by: Having the mosh pit fly on to himm during a pary. (The "They killed Kenny" line is different this time. Cartmen does Stan's line and Kyle says his line when walking up to Cartmen's backyard.)
Episode 22
It is the annual running of the cows and everyone gets into the fun. Including the annual running of the cows which is very pathetic; Stan tries to win Tarence and Phillip dolls at a game booth; and Carmen waste their money on some stupid rides and the group enters Carmen into a bullriding contest where he could win $500. The cows then steal a clock in the town square and use it is a shrine and they cows comite suicide when they are found with the clock. While Carmen is in training, he gets bonked off and thinks he is a young Vitamese prostatute. (Ugh!) Carmen wins and Stan declares schanatigan on the carnival and a riot breaks out. (You can actually hear Kenny say: "Oh my god! They killed Carmen.")
Kenny dies by: Getting hit by a bull.
Episode 23
Chef sues a TV producer for a song he wrote since he doesn't appear on the credits. He loses and the appeal if he has Cochran as a lawer is $2 million. The mad producer takes everything from Chef and Chef tries to get the money as a prostotude and the kids help out by selling money. Mr. Garrison finds Mr. Hat is back and everyone had it with him and his stupid puppet and put him in prison with chef. The kids then raise money by Carmen dancing to "German Dance", and all of Chef's musical friends come out to help out in a concert called Chef Aide and Cochran lowers the fee to pay him for the appeal and CHef wins the case.
Kenny gets Killed by: Having Ozzie Osborn bit his head off.
Episode 24
The gang goes to Carmen's relatives in Nebraska for Christmas to see Mr. Hankey; On of Carmen's uncle escape from prison with Charles Manson; Stan's mom finds out the plan and goes to Nebraska to find Stan; Fake Mr. Hankey; Police chases and standoffs.
Kenny gets Killed by: Police shoot at him for waiving a white flag. (In this episode, Charles Manson says in the "They killed Kenny line" Oh my god! They killed the orange coat kid. Then Stan comes in and says his line.)
Episode 25
A coffee shop is about to go out of business when a Harbucks (A lousy name for a similar franchise known as Starbucks.) moves in; Underwear gnomes; Mr. Garisson about to be fired.
Kenny gets Killed by: Mine cart falling on him during a minning accident in the gnome mine. (The "They Killed Kenny" line is said by Stan and Kyle very fast to find out how corperate takeovers are bad." Geez it's so hard to cram 30 min. of a show.)
Episode 26
Stan and Kyle fine frozen guy from 1996; Stan and Kyle break up their friendship; Mafesto treats frozen guy like a jerk; Carmen idles Australian outback guy; Stan and Kyle help frozen guy escape to Iowa. (Note here: It looks like some other guy has taken Chiefs song and shown it on tv.)
Kenny gets Killed: By revolving floor. (The "They Killed Kenny" line is different in this. After Stan says his line, Kyle doesn't do his because of their friendship.)
Season 3
Episode 27
The kids go on a choir tour in South America to save the rain forest after being disruptive; have a few mishaps and after their ordeal want to destroy it. (Very hillarous even when Carmen sterotypes.)
Kenny gets Killed: By lightning, but survives after this girl he likes perform CPR. ( As Stan would say, "Goddamnit.")
Episode 28
After people are dying from spontanious conbustion, the mayor elects Mr. Marsh to find the problem and finds that people must fart, but turns out to be a global disaster. Kyle's dad is impotance, but Kyle thinks doing the signs of the cross will help his dad. Carmen gets crucified on a mountain. (Worst Episode ever. Did have some funny parts though.)
Kenny gets killed by: Spontanious Conbustion.
Episode 29
Chef retires to marry the so called "lady of his dreams."; Carmen has lazy eyes and has glasses and some corrective eye surgery; The kids learn Chef is marrying a Sucubun, which is a monster that sucks the life out of men; Kids try to find a way to kill it.
Kenny gets killed by: The Sucubun. (We see though that Kenny's eyes go to good use for Carmen.)
Episode 30 (I think the reason that we did not see some new episodes around this time was that the creaters may have been busy creating the South Park movie. See it on June 30, 1999.)
Carmen discovers an extinct species called the Jackoffasaur which is annoying; they reproduce and annoy everyone in South Park except for Carmen; Carmen gets athority from the wildlife comission. (The joke here is that the creaters are making fun of Jar-Jar Binks from Star Wars.)
Kenny gets killed by: A bear that mauls him after Stan and Kyle dress up Kenny with antlers so they can get Carmen to classify a new species as a distraction to get rid of the Jackoffasaurs.
Episode 31
The Kids choose electives of shop class or Home EC (Kenny chooses Home EC); The shop teacher has problems forgetting his former wife who died in a plane crash; Stan, Kyle, and Eric try to get Craig (The boy who flicks people off in the first episode of the third season.) and Tweek (Caffine kid who was shown in the secound season finale.)
Kenny gets killed by: Getting into some machines in the Shop Class.
Episode 32
Everyone sues the people and the school in a whole bunch of sexual harrasment lawsuits that bankrupt the South Park Elementary School; The mascot for sexual harrasment goes away to the island of misfit mascots; Can the kids save the school?
Kenny gets killed by: a fan when a mascot pulls a magnet towards him.
Episode 33
Shelly (Stan's sister) babysits Carmen, and gives him a hard time. First, she invites her 22 year old boyfriend, and has his band practice in the house. Mr. Kitty looks around for love, and has a party of its own. (This is a parady of the Movie "Wild, Wild, West.)
No Kenny in this episode.
Episode 34/Part 2 of 33
Stan has to stay in the kids room during the Metor Shower Party (From episode 33.) with Pip, Butter, and some first grade kid; ATF (Alcohol, Tobaco, and Firearms people) think the party is full of religious freaks who want to commit suicide; The kids try to igure out a plan to stop ATF.
No Kenny again. Are Matt and Trey getting soft?
Episode 35/Part 3 of 33
Kyle, Kenny, and Ike go to Jew Scout Camp; a religious outburst breaks out.
Kenny gets killed by: Bashing his head into a counch shell that holds Moses after a rabi traps him. (We found out what happens to Kenny.)
Episode 36
A Chimpokemon craze hits South Park; the Japanese company tries to destroy the US by brainwahing the kids with Chimpokemon.
Kenny gets killed: Unsure how. We last see him moving after getting a seizure from the Chimpokemon video game. The final scene then shows a bunch of rats coming out of Kenny.
Episode 37
The kids from South Park Elementary enter a spelling bee, and lose to the only two kids in town that are home-schooled: Mark and Rebecca. After the exposure to other children, Mark asks to go to public school, where he is berated by his classmates because of his social ineptitude. Meanwhile, Kyle instructs Rebecca on the ways of love. He asks her to the "Bay of Pigs Memorial Dance" at school, where the other boys are planning on further humiliation for Mark. When Rebecca arrives at the dance looking like a miniature prostitute, Mark personally attacks Kyle, which earns him the respect of his peers.
Kenny gets killed by: Beaten to death by Cartman's phonics monkey.
Episode 38
An alien from the planet Marklar lands in Ethiopia, but is eaten by lions when he tries to communicate
with them. Starvin' Marvin finds the abandoned ship, and goes flying into space, and back down to South Park to
visit his foster parents: Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny. He takes them on a trip to the planet Marklar, and they
find that the planet would be an ideal environment for Marvin's family and neighbors. The CIA wants to stop them,
because the ship contains large amounts of plutonium. The "600 Club" wants to send missionaries to Marklar
to "save" the heathen aliens. And, of course, Sally Struthers needs to keep the Ethiopians on Earth to
maintain her food supply. They all end up on Marklar, and the boys help them realize that the Ethiopians deserve
to live there, with no further
interference from Struthers or the church. (Sally Struthers as fatter than ever. Great lesson here. Quit pushing
anyone to go to a religion that they do not like. The 7000 club is a disbitful group that I thank Matt and Trey
for making fun of. What can I say, I follow the views of carl Seagon and Jessie Ventura for religion. So men, tell
your wives that you rather watch football than spend time at church.)
Kenny gets killed by: Sealed in carbonite (Not really killed.)
Episode 39
South Park gets ready for the reinactment of a Civil War battle, and Cartmen goes out an tries to recreate history by having the South win the war. Cartmen persuades the South acters to recapture the South again, and tries to suceed, while Stan, Kyle, and Grandpa Marsh try to stop Cartmen.
Kenny gets killed by: Being hit by a warning flare. (The, "They Killed Kenny" Line is different in this one. Grandpa Marsh says, "You basturds!" after that, Kyle yells out. "Hey!")
Episode 40
South Park Elem. goes to Arkansas to play, "My Country Tis A Thee" an event created by Yoko Ono, and lead Saxaphonist Kenny G.; Cartmen tries to find the brown note which makes people crap themselves silly when they hear it.; Stan and Kyle want to get back at New York kids that called them "queffs" by using their own make believe word.; Mr. Garrison thinks his father dislikes him because he wasn't molested by his dad.
Kenny gets killed by: Craping himself to death.
Season 4
Episode 41
Cartmen gets money from the tooth fairy, and plots to get kids baby teeth to get extra money for a Sega Dreamcast, and ends up getting his family poor while finding out the tooth, er., truth about the tooth fairy; Kyle thinks then by learning the truth about his existance while the kids try to steal money from kids who leave baby teeth under the pillow, and end up dealing with the kingpin of the stolen baby teeth money crime; The kids agree to go with their operation, and Cartmen goes independent on the crime spree to end up with the ADA, who thinks that some giant squierel-chicken stealing tooth money, and the kingpin.
Kenny gets killed by: Ending credits by drowning. You'll see during the middle of the episode the kingpin gives Kenny the cement shoes, and leaves him there in shallow waters. While Kenny walks, he ends up in deep water drowning.
Episode 42
Cartman throws a rock at Token's head, but instead of detention, he is tried and convicted for a federal hate crime. The other boys need Cartman for ballast in their sled race, so they try to help him escape. When that doesn't work, they give a presentation to the governor that illustrates the hypocracy of "hate crime" legislation. Cartman does manage to make an escape attempt with the help of his cellmate. They are caught, but the guards don't take him back because his pardon was issued that same day. (This episode is funny, especially when Kenny ties to drive Cartmen in a white Power Wheel Bronco.)
Kenny gets killed by: Being thrown from a sled, and driven into a tree by a brick dummy.
Episode 43
Timmy (kid in wheelchair, who says, "Timmy!") is diagnosed with ADD, and gets out of school; The kids then try to get diagnosed with ADD; Timmy's new fame gets him to be a star with Skyler's band (Shelly's ex-boyfriend) who try to get to South Park's greatest concert.
Kenny gets killed by: Being hit by a frying pan by Cartmen, when he thiks he sees a fly that has the face of Christien Aguilaria.
Episode 44
The boys attend the last American performance of Cirque du Cheville, and are entranced by the Vladchik Contorting Romanian Quintuplets. They try to make their own version of the circus, but Kenny's vocal limitations keep their vision from being realized. Meanwhile, the quintuplets run away from the tour with their grandmother, who does not want to go back to impoverished Romania. They stay at Stan's house, and after a night of passion between his grandfather and the Romanian grandmother, she dies. The Romanian governemnt tries to get the girls to return in the custody of their estranged father, and Janet Reno sends the national guard in to help retrieve them. After a reunion with their father is unsuccessful, the girls take a limo to the "Oprah" show. As that crisis ended, Kenny is the matter of contention in Romania, where he is becoming an opera star. The army is sent to "rescue" him, as well, but with dire results.
Kenny's Cause of Death: Shot by rescue soldiers.
Episode 45
Cartman feels that he cannot relate to the other boys anymore, so he goes on the internet to find more mature friends. Naturally, he attracts a lot of attention in a chat room for men who like young boys. He tries meeting a couple of them, including Mr. Garrison, but each new friend ends up getting arrested by the FBI. He goes to Mephesto to create a mature friend for him, but Mephesto instead recommends that he attend his local chapter of NAMBLA. Cartman shows up at a hotel hosting a convention for the North American Man-Boy Love Association, and he is invited to be their poster boy. They plan a party and tell Cartman to invite all his young male friends to join. The feds hear about the gathering and bust in on NAMBLA, but not the right one. They confuse Mephesto's organization, the North American Marlon Brando Look-Alikes, for pedophiles. They eventually find the right organization, just in time to save the kids who are now wise to the situation. All through this, Kenny has been trying to prevent his parents from having another child, but his attempt ends tragically.
Kenny gets killed by: Being flattened by an ambulance backing up.
Episode 46
Kyle's diabetes has now affected his kidneys, and he desperately needs a transplant. His mother, however, has gotten into a local fad: holistic medicine. Of course, the herbs and roots aren't working, and only Stan seems to understand Kyle's needs. The doctor tells him that only Cartman has a matching kidney for Kyle, but when Stan goes to ask him, Cartman demands $10,000,000. Instead, Stan hatches a scheme where he tricks Cartman into thinking his kidney was taken. Cartman signs a release to have the doctor put it back in, but the release actually allowed the doctor to do the actual transplant. South Park has now realized that Western medicine works best, and Mr. Garrison finally writes the Great American Romance Novel.
Kenny gets killed by: Crushed by a falling piano.
Episode 47
Chief says the South Park flag is racist, while the kids have the subjuct about the flag on the debate club. Carmen, who somehow wins all debates gets picked on Wendy's team, while Stan, Kyle, and Kenny have new chronies on their team. Wendy thinks she is in love with Carmen
Kenny gets killed by: Exploding when he gets a drink of water after he ate antacids, whick are thought to be mints.
Episode 48
Carmen dreams about the foursome being a boy band called "Fingerbang", and tries to get everyone into the act. (Only to have Wendy joined the band as the fifth band member due to the amount of people in a boy band.) Stan's dad gets anoyed when Stan joins the boy band while Carmen tries to get an audition of their boy band at the mall.
Kenny gets killed by: Getting crushed by an elevator.
Episode 49/Part 1
The boys learn about Hell in church (except, of course, for Kyle), and about baptism, making confession, and taking communion to avoid going there. The priest's sermon motivates the boys to take action, and getting their first communion becomes their primary concern. They tell Kyle, who is now afraid that he will go to Hell because he is Jewish. They are also concerned about Timmy, who cannot confess his sins because he can only say his name. They ask the nun if the mentally handicapped go to Hell, but she has to refer to the Pope. The boys learn that the church will be of little help to them when they catch the priest having sex in the confessional, so they start evangelizing on the street. Meanwhile in Hell, Satan has moved in with his new lover, Chris, but Saddam Hussein has come back into his life. This causes a rift in Satan's new relationship, and he finds himself longing for the love he once knew.
Kenny's Cause of Death: Run over by bus.
Episode 50/Part 2
Cartman's evangelical mission has grown popular with the children of South Park. He plans to build a new church, and his congregation builds. He gets a call from Kenny, who is actually OK after riding underneath the bus all the way to Mexico. Cartman believes this is a message from Hell, but the real story down there is about Satan's torrid night in Saddam's hotel room. Chris tries to get over it, but he gets in a continual fight with Saddam, where they kill each other, come back to Hell, and keep repeating the process. Satan goes to God for advice, who suggests trying to be single, instead of depending on a life partner. Meanwhile on the surface, more divine counsel is given by Jesus, who appears at Cartman's now-profitable church and shows the children the correct path.
Kenny gets killed by: Doesn't. He and Cartman survive in Mexico.
Season 5
Episode 51
With Mr. Garrison missing, and a new school year beginning, it's time to enter the fourth grade. The new teacher is Ms. Choksondik, a woman who actually seems intent on teaching the class. The students miss the third grade already, so they enlist two local college students to build a time machine to take them back. They create a device using Timmy's wheelchair, but it only manages to send him into the past -- back to the time of dinosaurs. In the present, Ms. Choksondik is becoming increasingly frustrated with her inattentive class, so she hunts down Mr. Garrison, who is now living as a hermit in the mountains. He teaches her how to manage the class properly through various exercises. Finally, there is the Tree of Insight, where things should become clear. When Mr. Garrison is in there himself, he meets his gay side, and finally realizes his own homosexuality. Feeling energized, he returns to South Park Elementary and comes out to the administration, only to learn that they don't hire gay people. (Note: First time Timmy did not say only Timmy. He does say, "Please Help.")
Kenny gets killed by: Being dragged over the road on an
inverted rolling platform. (The "They Killed Kenny" line is replaced
by Stan say, "Well, who didn't see that coming.)
Episode 52
Cartman has a new Dawson's Creek trapper
keeper that has a lot of high tech gadgets compared to Kyle's Dawson Creek
folder that has nothing on it but a picture of the cast of Dawson's Creek.
Unknown to Cartman, a cyborg from the future needs the trapper keeper destroyed
so the future can be saved only to have Cartman be hard-headed about the situation
of not letting go of his trapper keeper only to have electronics and himself
assimilated by the trapper keeper. Supposedly genius, Ike's brother kindergarden
with Mr. Garison teaching the kids, and a class president election that is more
screwed up than a Florida Presidential election.
Kenny gets killed by: Assimilated Cartman breaking out of Cartman's room.
Episode 53
The 4th graders try to put on for their Thanksgiving special, "The Miracle Worker," and Cartman decided to have Hellen Keller having a pet turkey instead of a dog with a turkey going into a flame extravaganza. The only problem is that, "Gobbles," is malnourish with a director from Hollywood getting a professional turkey to take over the part and tricks Timmy, who loves Gobbles, to let him go on a farm.
Kenny gets killed by: Stage light falls on him.
Episode 54
Cartman is sent to fat camp, and figures how to make profit out of it by selling junk food to fat campers. With a replacement, Cartman makes the whole town think he lost weight. Kenny tries some profiting on his own idea of doing stupid stunts like the ones seen on MTV, and gets arrested before his big show in New York for giving Howard Stern a hummer. With fake Cartman, Stan and Kyle create fake Kenny.
Kenny gets killed by: Fake Kenny gets killed when pushed too far into Ms. Crabtree's uterus.
Episode 55
Cartman has four tickets to the Raging Pussies concert, but Kyle's parents won't let him unless he brings democracy to Cuba. Kyle tries, and is able to bring democracy to Cuba to only find his parents tricked him. Kyle then reports his parents for molesting him and Ike with the parents getting arrested by the police. It's a la, "Ferris Bulers Day Off" for Kyle, and kids try to report other adults that they molested them only to find out it's to good to be true. Cartman becomes mayor, and the kids are divided between Smiley Town and Treasure Cove lead by Kyle and Stan with kindergarteners being part of the Treasure Cove tribe. With help from some adults that are stranded in the town formally known as South Park, they must restore order with the before nighttime.
Kenny gets killed by: Died during a game of carousel. A game that is a la, "Mad Max 3."
Season 6
Episode 56
The boys, as well as the rest of the citizens of South Park all tune in as a popular television police drama show utters a first, the word "shit". It becomes the word of choice in town, and as the television company tries to outdo itself again and again, the dreaded "curse word" ends up being just that... a curse, as it somehow brings with it, the black plague.The Knights of Standards and Practices, are revived to help stop the curse, and help battle the evil behind it. (Fact: This episode used the word "shit" 162 1/2 times. The 1/2 counts in the last scene.)
Kenny gets killed by: Black Plague
Episode 57
The boys, plus Timmy and Butters, (but minus Kyle, since he is a Jew Scout) join the Mountain Scouts, and find that their leader is none other then Big Gay Al. They also meet, Jimmy, another physically challenged boy, whom Timmy instantly becomes jealous of. After a few complaints from parents, Big Gay Al gets fired, for being gay, and replaced by another scout master, who winds up taking naked pictures of the boys. In the meantime, the boys and their new friend Jimmy start a protest in front of Henry's supermarket, supporting Big Gay Al. When Jimmy asks for a volunteer for his stand up comedy act, in Timmy, a brutal fistfight breaks out between the two challenged boys. Neither boy wins, its a double KO. The fight brings swarms of people to the protest, which makes the news. The boys get support from Gloria Allred, who represents Al, and gets him his job back. In the end, the boys get a new scout master, after "Mr. Slippyfist" gets caught. And Jimmy gets thrown out of scouts, after Timmy uses "Photo Wiz" to superimpose Jimmy's head onto a picture of a gay couple.
Kenny gets killed by: Giant eagle carrying him away after the court case.
Episode 58
In this episode, the boys fall for a magician, David Blaine, whose "tricks" are a front for a cult, who are trying to form a religion for the sake of becoming tax-exempt from the government. All of the boys, Butters included, fall for the cult, but Stan has doubts and leaves. He seeks out the help of Jesus, who fails to break the spell that Blaine seems to have over his followers. Jesus brings Stan to the Hall of the "Super Best Friends", an organization of the leaders of various world religions, who fight evil (except for Buddah, who really doesn't believe in evil). The Super Best Friends end up in Washington, D.C., where Blaine is holding a rally at the Lincoln Memorial, his followers drowning themselves in the shallow reflecting pool until the government caves to their wishes of tax-exemption. When the Super Best Friends show up to foil him, Blaine uses his powers to bring to life the giant stone statue of Abraham Lincoln. The Super Best Friends consult Moses, who warily suggests they build a giant stone John Wilkes Booth. The plan works, and Abe is thwarted by a bullet to the back of his big stone head. David Blaine escapes in a space ship, after the reflecting pool is frozen.
Kenny gets killed by: Suicide drowning. (First time we see Kenny without the hood.)
Episode 59
In this weeks episode, we find out that Cartman has become a man... that's right, he has pubes. But when the boys find out that he purchased them for $10 from a 9th grader by the name of Scott Tenorman, they poke fun at him. Eric goes back to Scott, to demand his money back, and the two boys get entangled in a tracherous game of tug and war, each trying to top the other. Before Eric knows it, he is in the hole $16.12, is stuck with a lot of pubes, and has been humiliated in front of the entire town, for "begging" like a little piggy. And in the end, he even is out his precious money when Scott burns it in front of his eyes. In a rage, Eric plots his revenge on Scott. His "little scheme" involves a wiener biting pony, the band Radiohead, and quite a bit of humiliation... but Cartman has a secret twist to it. Knowing that Kyle and Stan won't help him in his plot, and knowing that the two boys will sell him out to Scott, he adds a swerve to it. Scott uses the information Kyle and Stan give him to scheme a little something up himself... In a dark and twisted explanation over a chili carnival's chili cook off, Eric explains that he knew of Scott's twist, and that he switched the pube-tainted chili that Scott brought with Chef's delicious entry. However, the bowl that was in front of Scott contained none other than Scott's own parents, who were killed for trespassing on Mr. Jenkin's ranch. Eric stole the bodies, made chili out of it, and tricked Scott into eating it. The episode ends with some creepy imagry of Eric licking at the tears as the parentless and humiliated Scott weeps.
Kenny gets killed by: Dying from laughter seeing Cartman's video dancing like a little piggy.
Episode 60
The boys are excited when the Terrance & Phillip are
coming to town. So that they won't miss it, they promise the organizers of the
Earth Day Brain Washing Festival that they will get Terrance and Phillip to
perform. When Terrance and Phillip take the stage, Terrance is fat and Phillip
is missing. Backstage they find out that Phillip has left the act to do more
serious work. The boys travel to Toronto where Phillip is performing
"Hamlet". They trick Phillip into coming, but at rehearsal the pair
still aren't getting along. At show time the audience is treated to the
documentary "Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow". Out in the
audience, Terrance and Phillip are both watching realizing what they once had
and get back together. (Note: Various clips from South Park movie in this
Episode
Kenny gets killed by: Earth Day organizers keep hacking his limbs off in their
effort to threaten the children.
Episode 61
Cartman's grandmother dies; leaving him a 1 million dollar inheritance and the rest of the family gets $14.12 in stocks and bonds to divide amongst themselves. Cartman now gets to live out the dream he has had since his was 2 years old; he purchases an amusement park. The amusement park is renamed Cartmanland and it is only open for Cartman, so there will be no lines. Meanwhile, Kyle develops a hemorrhoid. Stan and Kyle try to sneak into the park, but Kyle's hemorrhoid causes them to be caught. Kyle loses his faith, as he who is good is suffering and Cartman who isn't good isn't suffering. His parents try their best to restore his faith. Cartman's plan to be alone in his amusement park begins to fall apart, when he has to start allowing people into the park, to pay for the security, maintenance and etc. that it takes to keep the park going. The park becomes more popular than ever, causing businesses to adopt the new "you can't come" technique. Kyle is at death's door and Cartman is miserable, since he is no longer alone in his amusement park. Cartman sells the amusement park back to the original owner and gets his money back, until the IRS and Kenny's family lay claim to his money. Stan brings Kyle to see Cartman's misery, which ensures Kyle's speedy recovery of his health and his faith.
Kenny gets killed by: A loose steel beam while riding the "mine shaft" roller coaster.
Episode 62
Cartman (who learned it from the 5th graders) shows Stan and Kyle how to beat-off a dog. Stan thinks it is so cool he wants to show his parents. Instead their guests get to see the show. The parents of South Park demand that their children get taught sexual education. Mr. Mackey, who can't remember how to have sex, teaches the boys and Ms. Choksondik teaches the girls about STD (Sexually Transmitted Diseases). The girls become scared and demand that the boys wear condoms. So the boys purchase condoms and try to figure out how to wear them. Mr. Mackey and Ms. Choksondik discuss their lesson plan and their own sexual inadequacies. When the faculty believes that the fourth graders have become sexually active, due to the condom purchase, they decide they must educate the lower grades. So Mr. Garrison teaches his kindergarten students how to put on a condom and various sexual positions. Ms. Choksondik teaches the girls about the worst STD of all, pregnancy. Scared the girls run out of the classroom and setup a stronghold to protect themselves from the boys. Later when the boys learn that they get STDs from having intercourse with the girls, so they go to get rid of the girls. After a few explosions, the obligatory lesson is learned, 17 is the age to have sex. Meanwhile, Mr. Mackey and Ms. Choksondik get it on.
Kenny gets killed by: Boomerang hits him in a sequence taken from the Mel Gibson hit, "The Road Warrior".
Episode 63
After Cartman discovers one of Mrs. Marsh's used tampons in the bathroom, she gets the boys to drop the subject by promising to buy them the new Game Sphere video game console they wanted. While waiting for their new console Kyle's mention of having to go swimming with his family causes a talking towel to appear. The towel, named Towelie, offers the boys good towel advice and the chance to get high. A talking towel doesn't seem to phase the boys, because once they get the game console in their hands, they go home to play video games from Saturday afternoon until school starts on Monday morning. On Monday afternoon when they return, they find their game console is gone. Stan receives a call from a mysterious stranger, telling them to bring the towel to the gas station outside of town. Anxious for the return of their game console, the boys wind up playing for both sides in a battle between TYNACORP and the military for Towelie's TNA. Towelie is a RG-400 Smart Towel. Oblivious to all that is going on around them (a photon rifle, an alien, etc.), the boys just do what it takes to get their game console back. Meanwhile, Towelie just wants to get high.
Kenny gets killed by: Falling into a vat of hot liquid
Episode 64
Its two months after the terrorist attacks on the United
States and Kyle remarks to the others about when life used to be "simple
and cool". At school Mrs. Choksondik gets the children to follow the
president's directive and send a dollar to children in Afghanistan, only Cartman
lodges a protest. In Afghanistan, amidst the bombing, 4 children (who bear a
striking resemble to our boys in South Park) each receive a dollar. Stan's
mother has been watching CNN for 8 weeks straight and only gets off the couch
after she and Randy realize that Stan has received a large brown package from
Afghanistan. The federal authorities come to the Marsh home to open the package.
The content of the package is revealed to be a goat, which is determined to be
disease free. With nowhere to keep it, the boys decide to send the goat back to
Afghanistan. The post office recommends the boys take the goat over to the base.
After the boys suffer through a visit from Towelie that
ends with a bad pun, they try to get the goat on board a military aircraft. They
are caught by a guard who mistakes the sound the goat makes for the sound of
Stevie Nicks, who is going to be performing at a USO show in Afghanistan. Once
past the guard the boys put the goat on the plane but soon find themselves
trapped on board, bound for Afghanistan with a goat and a farting Cartman.
In Afghanistan the boys bring the goat back to what's left of the house where
the goat was sent from. They meet their Afghan counterparts and try to
understand why their counterparts hate Americans. While returning to the base,
the boys are captured by terrorists (an attempt to be Canadian doesn't work,
Cartman won't have it). They are taken to the cave of Osama Bin Laden, who
broadcasts the fact that he has captured American hostages: Stevie Nicks and
four children. With Stevie Nicks captured, the military gets mobilized. The
boys' Afghan counterparts, realizing our boys are innocent, decide to rescue
them.
At Bin Laden's camp, the battle rages on and the boys are rescued by their
counterparts. Only Cartman stays behind to take care of the Bin Laden. Cartman
deals with Bin Laden in sequences that pay tribute to the Warner Bros. cartoons
featuring Bugs Bunny (Cartman) vs. Elmer Fudd (Bin Laden). [Very funny scenes.]
Meanwhile Stan and Kyle still struggle to understand the differences between
themselves and their Afghan counterparts. With Bin Laden defeated, thanks in
large part to Cartman, Fleetwood Mac (with goat Stevie Nicks) takes the stage to
entertain the troops.
Kenny and Afghan counterpart die by: Getting hit by a hail of helicompter gunfire exiting Bin Laden's cave.
Episode 65
Its school picture time and Cartman takes great delight when Kenny poses for this school photo by wearing his parka backwards and having his ass stick out where his face should be. When the photo comes out, Cartman pulls off what he thinks might be the funniest thing he has ever done, he gets the photo put on a milk carton as that of a missing child, with a brown eye, blond hair and full cheeks. The photo hits home in Wisconsin, when a couple with TPS (Tarsonic Polarity Syndrome; "buttocks where their heads should be") believes that the photo might be their long lost son.Cartman has been laughing non-stop since the milk carton was published and brings Stan and Kyle over when he is told a couple of parents want to meet him to discover information about the whereabouts of their missing son. When Cartman meets the TPS afflicted Thompson's he suddenly loses his sense of humor, he can no longer laugh, claiming he blew his funny fuse. Cartman seeks counseling from Mr. Mackey, Jimmy the crippled comic and other means to restore his sense of humor. The Thompsons meet with the McKormicks and find out about the prank photo and the South Park milk company offers their help using their computer and its missing children database. The computer's search reunites the Thompson's with their long lost son whose also afflicted with TPS, Ben Affleck and with that Cartman's sense of humor returns. Kyle and Stan think that perhaps Cartman had a feeling of remorse and might be growing up. Meanwhile, Butters has been grounded for looking like a fool in his school picture.
Episode 66
The Broflovski's await the arrival of Kyle's cousin from Connecticut who is also named Kyle. As a result, Kyle's mother starts calling him Kyle 2 and the cousin is just known as Kyle. Mr. Garrison gets fed up with airlines and decides to do something about it. Kyle 2 realizes that when his stereotypically Jewish cousin Kyle meets his friends and Cartman he is going have trouble. He tries bribing Cartman with $40 to be nice, but it doesn't last for long. Mr. Hand's offhand comment about Enrique Iglesias' gyrating ass, gives Mr. Garrison an idea for his new form of transportation, IT.High power investor's arrive to see what Garrison's invention is all about. Kyle 2 tries to teach Kyle about sports and Cartman tries to talk his way out of the concentration camp comment he made in class about Kyle. Mr. Garrison unveils IT to the investors, including Kyle. IT is a gyroscopic cycle that requires the rider to use four flexi-grip handles. Two of the handles the rider holds onto with their hand, another requires the user to place their mouth over to operate the turn signals and the last one require the rider to insert into their anus, so that they can be held in place. Kyle 2 is worried that his stereotypical cousin is going to give Jews a bad name in South Park, so he and the others try various schemes to send him back to Connecticut. IT becomes a hit with public, so much so that the airline industry starts hurting and the government steps in, making IT illegal. Kyle 2 returns from the latest attempt by Kyle 2 and the others to get rid of him, to receive $5 million as a bail out for his IT investment. Suddenly the boys try to think of the lesson they that learned that then can use to keep him around.
Kenny dies when airport security finds his toe nail clipper and shoots him for being a terrorist.
Episode 67
The children present their school projects. When Token makes his presentation, the other children hassle him for being rich. When Token goes home he indicates that he wants to be just like the other children and his parents humor him by taking a . His parents humor him by taking him to J Mart. He tries hard to fit in, but gives up and tries a different approach; he sells other rich people on the idea of living in South Park. The first family to move there is Will Smith, Jada Pinkett and their family. Will calls a few friends (Snoop Dog, Bill Cosby, Oprah and others) and soon they all move into South Park. The poorer citizens of South Park begin to fight back; one attempt has them burning a lower case "T" in the front yard of Kobe Bryant. Token becomes disenchanted with his new rich friends when he realizes he doesn't fit in with them either. The rich are forced to sit in the front of the bus. Trying to fit in somewhere, Token moves in with the lions at the zoo. Meanwhile the South Park millionaires start a "million millionaire march" on city hall. To spook the rich out of South Park, Mr. Garrison suggests that they dress in white sheets.Token leaves the lions and goes home realizing that he likes his old friends the best. At city hall the "spooks" scare the rich, who very quickly leave South Park. Token runs into the boys who will no longer rip on him for being rich, now they'll call him a "pussy".
Kenny died somewhere along the line, but it must have wound up being edited out, as he is seen already dead on a sled at the end of the episode.
Episode 68
A truck carrying aborted fetuses for research goes over the side of a mountain. A passing Eric Cartman takes possession of the cargo. With all the recent talk about stem cell research he plans to sell them for a lot of money. Meanwhile the other boys are lighting cow crap on fire and Kenny shows signs of an illness. Cartman tells the others of his plans. Cartman tries selling his fetuses, but when the government changes the rules, Cartman is out of the money. Back at school, Stan and Kyle are called out of class to see the principal. In the office Mr. Mackey, Chef, Principal Victoria and their parents tell them about Kenny's terminal illness.Stan and Kyle tell Cartman about Kenny and they all go to visit him. Stan has a problem seeing Kenny in the hospital. Cartman promises to find a cure for Kenny. Kyle sees him crying. Cartman goes to one of his possible clients to learn everything he can about stem cell research and he learns that stem cells can replicate an item just by being placed beside it.The Make-A-Wish foundation stops by the hospital to offer Kenny a wish. His first choice is not to die. They counter with Madonna and he declines. Chef talks with Stan to help him understand. In Washington, DC, Cartman appears before Congress to appeal them to restore stem cell research. His sings Asia's "Heat of Moment" and the whole assembly joins in.Congress lifts the ban on stem cell research and Cartman is getting women to sell their fetuses for research. Stan goes to the hospital only to find that Kenny's room is vacant. At the funeral Cartman comes in to tell Kyle and Stan to come out and witness his miracle. Using the stem cells of unborn fetuses, Cartman was able to create his own Shakey's along side of an existing one! Kyle gets all pissed off, and beats the crap out of CartmanEpisode 69
It's "The Butters Show", which features Butters Stotch and his parents (Chris & Linda) at home. It's his parent's anniversary and Butters' mom asks him to spy on his father who is out buying an anniversary present. Butters follows him to a porn theatre to see "Fisting Firemen 9" and to a men's bath house. Not knowing what is really going on, he reports back everything with photos to his mother, who starts to goes crazy. The next night Butters' father goes "shopping" again. Butters follows his dad into the spa and finds his dad pleasuring himself.Butters' father tries to talk with him about the need to tell little white lies, but his mother interrupts. She is taking Butters for a drive, where she plans to kill her son by drowning him in their car, while she goes back home to kill herself there. Back at the house asks for forgiveness, telling Linda that he plans to get help. She confesses her that all this has got her confused and she tells him what she's done to their son. Meanwhile, Butters is drifting downstream in the car, which eventually comes to a stop.To cover themselves, the Stotch's claim to the media that their son was kidnapped by an individual of "average Puerto Rican height". Butters tries to make his way back home to South Park so that he can get to Bennigan's for his parent's anniversary dinner. The Ramseys come to South Park from Boulder claiming that the same Puerto Rican is responsible for their daughter's murder. They are joined by Gary Condit and OJ who make similar claims. They allow the Stotchs to join their support group, as they all hope that the Puerto Rican that has wronged them all can be found.Butters' parents argue as he walks in the door. They tell him that he needs to tell a little white lie about where he's been, but he disagrees telling them that they just need to tell the truth. So the Stotch's come clean with the media, but make a few pointed remarks about secrets, seemingly directed at the other members of their support group (liar, murderer and confess are three words strongly emphasized). In the end, with all the truth exposed, Butters realizes that sometimes it's probably okay to lie.
Season 6
Episode 80
The boys, Cartman, Stan and Kyle keep calling the City Wok Chinese restaurant just to hear the guy on the phone pronounce city as shitty. Butters joins them, but the others boys keep calling him either Kenny or "Not Kenny". (Kenny evidentially really did die last year.) The boys go the Kenny McKormick memorial town square, because Jared, the guys who lost all that weight eating sub sandwiches is scheduled to appear. Everyone just loves Jared. The boys go to see Jared after his appearance, and he tells them that in addition to his eating sub sandwiches to lose weight, he also got aides to help him to lose weight. The boys think that Jared meant AIDS when his first mentions it, until he introduces them to his aides Scott and Tyler. After learning the truth about Jared, the boys go home. Along the way, Cartman has a "genius moment". He decides they can do what Jared has done, eat a little of the product and exercise to lose the weight and become popular for doing it. He decides Butters is their candidate for this plan and City Wok is their restaurant of choice. Meanwhile, Jared is out with his fiancée and he confesses to her that he has aides; of course she leaves the restaurant thinking that he has AIDS and never told her. He also decides he needs to tell the public. For the boy's plan to work, they decide they've got to fatten Butters up. Jared reappears in front of the citizens of South Park and announces that he has aides and he recommends that everyone get aides.The boys take a fattened up Butters to City Wok and pitch them on their idea. The City Wok guy likes the idea. Meanwhile, Jared is fired from his sub sandwich job. Butters starts to exercise, but its not working fast enough; so the boys decide to perform liposuction on him and he loses a lot of fat quickly. Butters' parents return home to find their son giving himself liposuction, so they ground him.At South Park City Hall, Jared announces his aides for everyone campaign. The crowd rushes the stage. The boys go to Butters home to pick him up for their photo shoot. He can't leave because he was grounded 5 days for getting fat and then having liposuction. While Stan and Kyle take Butters to City Wok, Cartman stays at Butters home to answer the phone for when his parents call. When Cartman answers the phone, he only gets Butters into more trouble. Meanwhile, Jared is beating a dead horse about his desire to give everyone, including small underprivileged children aides and the angry mob is still after him. Stan, Kyle and Butters arrive at City Wok ready to do their ad campaign, just like Jared, when the owner tells them he's not interested anymore, since Jared wants everyone to have aides. They find out that the angry mob is planning to kill Jared downtown as Cartman gets Butters into even deeper trouble.Downtown Stan clears up the misunderstanding about Jared's aides and everyone has a big laugh. They also realize that 22.3 years have passed, so AIDS can be officially declared funny. Jared's image is okay once again and the boys find they can only get $15 for their deal with City Wok. Meanwhile, Butters' races home and he thanks Cartman for covering for him. Cartman leaves the house and set up a lawn chair in front of the Butters' house, waiting for Butters' parents to come home. (New Credit scene)
Episode 81
The Stotchs have the Marsh and Broflovski families over for
dinner, grateful that there son seems to have some great friends to play with.
The Stotchs pitch the parent's on a deal where they can all go to Aspen and stay
at a condo for free, they only need to attend a 30 minute time share
presentation. They tell the boys and everyone is excited as they make their way
to Aspen. The next morning everyone is getting ready for skiing when the
pitchmen arrive. Cartman gives Butters a "Hitler" by drawing a
Hitler-style mustache on Butters' upper lip using material obtained from his
butt. The parents leave the boys on their own while they go to attend the
time-share condo's required 30 minute presentation. Butters keep noticing a
strange smell, still unaware of his fecal matter drawn mustache. The boys take
ski lessons from "Thumper" who tells them about having a "bad
time" and the use of "pizza" and "French fry" for going
fast and slow on skies. Meanwhile the parents are being subjected to required
meeting, that turns out isn't the actual required meeting; that one will
actually be held at the luncheon. On the ski slopes, like a bad teen ski movie,
Stan is challenged by Tad, someone who is much older and more experienced on
skis than he is. At lunch, the parents are almost treated to a nice lunch of
steak and lobster. The lunch is "time shared" on them as the pitchmen
keep up their assault which is keeping the parents from enjoying the ski slopes.
On the bunny slope, the boys are having a good time and only mildly wonder where
their parents are at. Stan keeps living the bad ski movie, as Tad challenges him
to an extreme ski race. Stan hopes that Tad will go away after he accepts Tad's
challenge to an extreme ski race. Tad easily wins the race as Stan
"pizzas" and "French fries" his way down the slope. Despite
losing, Stan is still invited to attend a party at the youth center where all
the cool teens will be hanging out. The parents finally get to head to the
slopes and are given a special pass that will take them on a chairlift past the
crowds and quickly up the mountain. Instead the chairlift takes them to another
presentation where the pitchmen are waiting with a new offer. Still only mildly
wondering where their parents are the boys are now all living a bad teen ski
movie when they go to the party and find out that Tad's father plans on tearing
down the youth center. Tad is there and sings a song about Stan. Fed up, Stan
asks him what his problem is. Tad takes it as a challenge for a rematch. The
fate of the youth center is in Stan's hands as Tad's course of choice is down
K-13, "the most dangerous run in all of America". Despite the risks,
Stan decides he must take part in the race.
The parents finally leave the presentation, only to find themselves in it again;
they just can't seem to escape. Randy Marsh threatens to call the police. Stan
asks "Thumper" for lessons to help him with the race. This leads into
a montage showing everything that is gone on, what is at stake, etc. There is
even a song about the montage, playing during the montage. At the end of the
montage, Stan appears to be ready. Back at the presentation, the police are
there, but it turns out only help with the sales pitch. Everyone, the police,
mayor and even the President are said to be working for "Time-Share".
Under the threat of guns, the parents continue to listen to the pitchmen and the
police. The race down K-13 begins. Stan is slow and steady as Tad (who's far
ahead) tries to make sure that Stan can't make it all the way down the hill by
putting the distractions in his way. Instead one of the teens distracts Tad and
Stan skis down to victory and the youth center is saved. The parents finally
catch up with their children, telling them that they finally came to their
senses and purchased a time-share that will allow them to come to Aspen two
weeks out of every year. The boys (especially Stan) aren't interested as they've
found that skiing is confusing, knowing when to "pizza", when to
"French fry" and when to do all the things that happen in bad teen ski
movies. (New opening squence does not show on this episode.)
Episode 82
Butters refuses to be a replacement for Kenny. The boys start watching The Maury Povich Show which is featuring disfigured people. When they learn that these freaks can get prizes for appearing on the show they hit upon the idea to create their own freak. Cartman calls the show and get Butters an appearance for his strange condition "chinballalitis". Butters' is against it, but they tell him that Kenny would have done it, "Kenny was cool". Then they go to visit the Star Trek dorks to get a set of prosthetic balls made for Butters' face. The boys send Butters to New York, on his own, to appear on the show. At the studio he meets the other freaks in the green room and finds out about the freak circuit that is how they make there living. Then the freaks tell him how they treated a freak that turned out to be a fraud.Butters as "Napoleon Bonaparte" makes his appearance on Maury's show. As his prize, Butters is sent directly to the world's largest putt-putt golf course in the world, which means that the other boys can't share the prize. Cartman calls the Povich show to see if he can get on the show with balls on his face. The show isn't going to be doing freaks for a while; so Cartman jumps at the opportunity to appear on a segment called "Please Help My Out of Control Child". He convinces his mother to go to New York and lie for him. Butters returns from New York and his parents ground him. Butters finds out that the freaks are looking for him. He thinks they are going to find out he is a fraud, but they really want to invite him to participate in their freak strike. Cartman and his mother are set to appear on the show but after the first guests appear, Cartman realizes that he is going to have to change his image if he is going to win the prize.At the freak strike "Freak Out 2K2" and Butters is reluctant to participate. Cartman and his mother appear on the show and Cartman is dressed as a total slut. He and the first guest try to out-skank each other. Meanwhile, at the freak strike, the police arrive telling them they must disband, the freaks plan to respond by breaking out the big guns and prepare the video sabotage.The third guest appears on Maury's show and starting to steal the show, when the video sabotage occurs and the true freaks (with Butters) break into the broadcast. Their message to the viewers is that they need to look for the true freaks, with the union label. The audience realizes they are right and leave. The ratings start to plummet. Maury agrees to negotiate. Cartman confronts Butters and rips Butters' fake balls from his chin. The freak crowd sees this and goes after Cartman. Just when Butters' thinks he is in the clear, his parent's arrive.
Episode 83
The kids are on a field trip to Rancher Bob's where they learn about beef. They children (sans Cartman) are disgusted when they find out where veal comes from. The boys decide they need to help the baby cows. That night Stan, Kyle and Butters go to Cartman's, because they need him for his MISSION: Impossible Breaking and Entering play set. He demands that Kyle kiss his ass for his participation. To his disgust, Kyle does. The boys break into the barn and Stan lets the baby cows loose. Only the cows can't move, since they've never walked. One by one they carry the calves to Stan house. To help the calves get strong enough to walk, Butters brings over a Susanne Sommers "Calf Exerciser". Meanwhile, Officer Barbrady and the rancher appear at the Marsh house. Stan's parents are surprised when they see Stan's room filled with calves. Stan pleads his case, but his mother tells him that he has to give the calves back and there is nothing he can do about it. Stan responds by shutting the door in her face and locking it. The boys decide that they will not let the calves out of Stan's room until they have a guarantee of their safety.The other parents arrive at the Marsh home. Sheila and Butter's father try to reach their children, but the boys have survived the first round. The next morning the boys wake up hungry and wondering what to do, when Cartman's mother gives them a picnic basket of food. The boys dig in to the fried chicken and beef jerky, only Stan refuses to eat any meat. At hour 34, the local news is covering the siege and calling the boys terrorists. When the story doesn't prove interesting enough, the TV station switches over to "Puppies around the World". At hour 53 a group of hippies joins the protest. Cartman is disgusted that they've become like "no good, dirty goddamned hippies."At hour 75, the FBI arrives to put an end to the conflict and Stan is showing signs of an illness. The FBI negotiator tries to match wits with Cartman, the negotiator loses. At hour 154, the FBI gives the boys guns and ammunition. Meanwhile, Stan is still showing signs of getting sick. At hour 169, they give Cartman a missile and they tell him that the FDA has officially renamed veal. The FBI negotiator reports that the boys are prepared to come out, if they are given a truck to transport them and the cattle to Denver's airport where they can fly to Mexico. They also demand that Michael Dorn, Worf from Star Trek: TNG, drive the truck in full makeup. That FBI negotiator is replaced by a new that only plans to give in to half of their demands. At hour 201, Michael Dorn and the truck arrives. The boys come out and load the truck with the calves. Stan appears to be very ill; his face is covered with sores. As the truck is passing the cattle ranch, the truck is stopped and the game is over. Cartman orders "Worf" to kill them and he refuses, causing Cartman to comment "some goddamned Klingon you are."The calves are unloaded, but the rancher claims they are now worthless, since the boys got the FDA to change the word veal to "little tortured baby cow." Stan can't celebrate as his sickness has gotten the better of him. The doctor says that he arrived at the hospital just in time. Stan had "vaginitis", the sores were tiny little vaginas that were forming on his skin and had it gone too long, he would have turned into one big giant pussy. The disease started in Stan when he stopped eating meat.
Episode 84
The boys get ready to watch "The Russell Crowe Show," where each week Russell sets out to go "Fightin' around the World"; which Russell does from the very start of the episode. Shelly interrupts the boys and we learn that the reason they are really watching the show is to see the "exclusive never-before-seen" trailer for the new Terrance & Phillip movie. Shelly, who'd rather watch Buffy…, but will settle for just making Stan unhappy, allows Stan to strike a deal with her. She's just started getting her period and need tampons, Stan has to go to the store to get her some before she returns. As low man on the totem pole, Butters is giving the task of making the tampon purchase. Meanwhile, on "The Russell Crowe Show," Russell through the recommendation of his tugboat "Tugger" decides to go to China, but before he leaves he beats up a couple of fans. Cartman starts to make adjustments on the TV and blows it up. Desperate the boys race over to Kyle's, meeting Butters along the way, with his tampon purchase in hand. The boys interrupt Ike's program The McNeil-Lehrer Report and tune in just as Russell Crowe is looking for a fight in Tiananmen Square, which he finds or rather starts. Kyle's father makes them give the TV back to Ike. The boys leave, not able to go to Butters (for reasons unknown) or Cartman's house (fumigation), they decide to go to Chef's, who has a new plasma TV with surround sound. Chef isn't quite sure how to turn on his new system, which has "more features than a space shuttle", but the TV is turned on just as the "The Russell Crowe Show" goes to its first commercial break…The first commercial break is a bust; the boys figured it wouldn't be in the first break just so they'd have to keep watching this stupid show. Russell Crowe is now in Brooklyn, where there are a lot of minorities. Chef starts trying to show off the features of his new television and hides the picture on screen behind all the TV's on screen menus. He finally invokes the H.E.M. (Human Eradication Mode) which turns the TV into a robot a la ED-209 from "RoboCop" and the TV leaves the house, blasting away with its lasers. Desperate again the boys race to the local bar where they tune in to find Russell Crowe angry with his editor for cutting the Brooklyn scene short; so Crowe beats up the editor. The boys are thrown out of the bar, despite Cartman's offer of Butters giving hand jobs in the corner, to which Butters exclaims that he's good at all kinds of jobs. Meanwhile, Chef is on the line with customer support trying to stop his television from its killing rampage. The boys stop at a retirement home to take over their television. On the "The Russell Crowe Show" Tugger tries to escape while Russell sings one of his songs, he finally succeeds when he shoots himself. Will he survive? Find out after these messages…Even though they are disappointed after the second break, still no commercial, the boys stay tuned to the show, despite the old people's desire to watch "Puppies Around the World". Russell finds out Tugger's fate, he'll be okay, which makes Russell feel like fighting. Back in the real world, the elderly release their bowels, driving the boys out of their home. Even more desperate, the boys go to Cartman's home, despite the fact that it is covered by a tent and being fumigated. On his show, Russell decides he needs to take up a cause, so he decides to fight cancer, only that "pussy" cancer is nowhere to be found. The fumes are getting to them. Stan remembers that they have an old black and white television; so they race back to his place. When they arrive, Butters realizes he never gave Shelly her tampons and as Stan opens the door, a flood of blood spills through the doorway. Shelly yells out the window that she told them she needed tampons. The boys spot some nearby crack addicts with a TV. They tune it to Russell's show in time to find him beating up a man with cancer. Chef's TV interrupts their viewing by destroying their TV, with Chef still in pursuit and on the line with customer service. They finally find out from Butters why they can't go to his house, it's because he doesn't have a baby-sitter, that's why he was staying at Stan's. Deciding that they will kill Butters later, the boys race to Butter's home, just in time for the start of the third commercial break…After the first part of this commercial break is over, the boys rant and rave about the length of the last commercial break and other issues, when finally what they've been waiting for has arrived, the trailer for the new Terrance & Phillip movie "Asses of Fire 2", coming June 21st 2002. Finally Russell wraps up his show. (Note: When the show says about commercial, it was the actual time commercial breaks came up. When the trailer came up, it was my thought that a new South Park movie would come along. I was wrong.)
Episode 85
The boys (Stan, Kyle and Cartman) decide to fire Butters as their replacement best friend for Kenny, the primary reason his being so lame. At home Butters reflects on his firing and decides that if he is going to be an outcast than he will become the greatest super villain the world has ever seen. He creates a super villain costume and calls himself Professor Chaos. Tomorrow the chaos will begin. The next day, Stan, Kyle and Cartman hold auditions for a replacement best friend. The have twenty possibilities to choose from, which they will cut down to 10 after a visit to the amusement park. Meanwhile, Professor Chaos causes confusion at the local Bennigans and elsewhere. Highlights of the amusement park visit are shown, the boys and some of their candidates comment on the day's events. Token, Clyde, Craig, Timmy, Pip, Jimmy, Jason, Towelie, Luigi and Tweek all make the cut, the rest are told to "get the fudge out".Butters finds out that the local news has had no coverage of the chaos that he's created. He decides to step it up a notch. At the school, the boys now want to evaluate how their new friend may work for them during class time. Ms. Choksondik searches for her chalkboard eraser, which disappeared, courtesy of Professor Chaos. The children search, but can't find it. So she pulls out her backup, but she's not smart enough for Professor Chaos. Butters gets an excuse to go to the bathroom, but returns in his guise as the Professor and steals the backup as well. Back at home, Butters dresses his hamsters in outfits and makes them Professor Chaos's minions. He receives a note from someone who knows who he is and wants to meet him at the dock. The boys knock their list down from 10 candidates to six. Token, Timmy, Tweek, Pip, Towelie and Jimmy all make this cut, the rest are told to "get the fudge out".At the dock, Professor Chaos meets with Dougie, who knows his secret. The Professor sets his minions after Dougie, but they run the other way. Dougie a fellow outcast wants to join with the Professor. Butters accepts him and gives him the name General Disarray. There first mission together is to find where the Professor's minions have run off to. Highlights of the swimsuit and talent competition are shown, the boys and some of their candidates comment on those events. The boys then take their candidates to a baseball game. At the game, the Jumbotron picture is interrupted. Professor Chaos is shown on screen trying to implement his latest plan, to flood the world with a garden hose. The crowd responds by taking all their clothes off.Back in South Park, the boys try to make their final decision. Jimmy tries to bribe them. At Butters' home, the water department thwarts Professor Chaos' plan, turning off the hose. The boys are about to announce their final choice for a new friend, as Professor Chaos decides to implement his back up plan. The Professor and General Disarray start using aerosol spray cans in an effort to destroy the ozone layer, when the announcer interrupts asking these thought provoking questions:"The answer to those questions will be answered, right now."
Special Episodes
Halloween Special
Kenny gets killed and accidently gets embombed with some worchester sauce and starts turning people into Zombies when he bites people. Stan dresses up as Ragedy Andy to find out that Wendy was not going to dress as Ragedy Ann. (Note: The usual "They Killed Kenny" line is changed when Kyle Chainsaws a Zombie Kenny.)
Kenny gets killed: Three times this episode. Once when the spacestation Mir crashes on him, When he gets chainsawed by Kyle, and when a bunch of stuff crashes on him after he comes out of the grave.
Thanksgiving Episode
The kids want to adobt a kid to get a nice Seiko sports watch, but accidently get an Ethopian the kids nicknamed "Starvin' Marvin." Mutant turkeys that the evil cloning guy was exprimenting with for Thanksgiving rampage South Park. Cartman gets accidently sent to Ethopia when the police are looking for Starvin' Marvin. (Note: There is a scene in this episode that copies the Braveheart battle scene. Also we meet Kenny's family and at the end we see them celebrating Thanksgiving, doing the grace thing, giving thanks to god even after Kenny was killed when someone says. "Does somebody has a can opener?" Then Kenny's dad says. "God damn it."
Kenny gets killed: By the mutant Turkeys during the battle.
Christmas Episode
Kyle's mom complains to the school when she finds out that the school play is about the story of christmas and gets offended. Then everyone gets offended over certain things about Christmas. Kyle then tells about something idiotic called Mr. Hanky the Christmas poo that makes a mess of everything, and everyone thinks that Kyle is crazy. (Note: This is a very musical episode with some South Park humor in it. There is an idiotic commercial those South Park producers tried for Mr. Hankey. In my opinion, the worst South Park.)
Kenny gets killed: He doesn't. (Crud!) Almost gets killed though when he is to unplug a chord that is frailed and in a wet area, and when he tries to get a star decoration on the very top of this auditorium they were doing a revised Christmas play. There was a great white shark that was around where Kenny was to fall. If he was.
Christmas Episode #2
Various musical winter holiday music by Kyle, Stan, Cartmen, Mr. Mackey, and Mr. Garrison.
Kenny gets killed by: Chandelier falling on him on the final song.
Christmas Episode #3
Mr. Hankey doesn't come on his annul run during Christmas, and the kids find Mr. Hankey has a family. He explains no one cares about Christmas, and after seeing, a Charlie Brown Christmas special, the kids decide to create their Christmas special called, "The Spirit of Christmas." (The actual pilot of South Park.) To get people in the Christmas mood.
Kenny gets killed by: Getting ran over by a car. (Gets killed in pilot also.)
Valentine Episode
It's Valentines day and Wendy want Stan to be her Valentine, but every boy in this class Stan and Wendy are in have a crush over a subitute teacher when Mr. Garisson gets a face lift, including Stan. Wendy gets jealous of this, and does everything to get Stan back. (Note: Most Vomit shown in this episode.)
Kenny gets killed: Getting stabbed right in the head with a sword.
Chef Aide
It's nothing but a South Park Marathon that show songs from the new South Park CD coming soon to music stores called "Chef Aide." Plus Master P's new song called "Kenny's Dead".
Halloween Episode 2
Stan's Aunt visits and gives him a fish; kids enter a squash in a jack-o-latern contest; parelllel universes with an evil, but friendly Cartmen; Stan's fish is a murder.
Kenny gets killed: Stan's fish kills him.
Halloween Episode 3
The kids try to scare the fifth graders with Kyle's dead Grandma; Korn (Yes. The band.) visits town for the big Halloween celebration, and Pirates invade South Park when they arrive and kill some people. The priest of South Park tries to stop Halloween. Cartmen gets the inflatable Antonio Benderes doll. The kids, and Korn try to solve the ghost mystery. (This show makes fun of Scooby-Doo, and the Super Globetroters. Odd scene also here. Wendy wins the costume contest again with that Chewbacca costume. I think the costume contest is rigg, or Matt and Trey are trying to keep the memory of Chewbacca. If you can't remember you Star Wars freak, one of the latest novels of Star Wars has Chewbacca killed. Why can't they kill Jar-Jar instead of Chewbacca? Jar-Jar was more annoying. Also, we see Kenny in some robotic costume that reminds me of those robots in Robocop.)
Kenny gets killed by: Being wrapped around by a cable by small jet fighters. (If you remember that "Battle of Hoth" scene in "Empire Strikes Back" where Luke wraps an AT-AT Walker, you know what I'm talking about.)
Millenium Special
Carmen, Kyle, and Kenny think they get their periods when they are bleeding from their ass with Stan getting left out. Everyone thinks that the Jesus character is suppose to do something during the new millenium, and creates a Rod Steward concert in Las Vegas while people think that god will come. Stan takes hormones to get his period, and god comes down to answer a question. (I'm not telling what it is.)
Kenny gets killed by: Having a tampon stuck up his ass, and clogs him up.
Fan Fiction
I know that there are some people that like writing their own episodes. If you want to do one yourself write an episode and e-mail me at mark_one@hotmail.com.
Fan Fiction Episode #1
Stan and friends win in lottery to go to Miami and th Super Bowl. (Even Kenny); Walk around Miami; See sights and lots of other stuff.
Kenny gets killed: Gets smacked by security; Gets smacked around in the NFL Experience; Gets run over by players; Gets smacked around Miami natives.
{Art Gallery}{Shadows}{Chat Room Rules}{The Sports Bar}{Sportslink}{Bowser}
{Extra Stars}{Lower Floor}{Mario Tips and Tricks}{Switches}{Upper Floor}{Video Games}
{Video Games Other}{Warps}{Yoshi}{Marketplace}{Games Menu}{Pokemon}
{Anime Multimedia}{Sailor Moon RPG}{Jokes}{Laser Quest}{Mindstorm}{NASCAR}