Well, if you're in this section, you must be bored or have looked at every other section of the site, and decided that it can't hurt to look here.  Anyways, my name is John, and I'm the guy your Mother warned you about.  I drive faster than the speed limit, run with sisscors, and never floss after brushing. 
        ...And I tend to associate with individuals who share the same type of slightly deranged mindset that I have.  My parents constantly rolled their eyes in my direction whilst I was growing up. I was the kid next door who was trying to jump off the roof of my house holding two umbrellas, and usually succeeded.  I am now that guy you know that likes to do impressions, watch goofy movies, and genrally embarrass himself whenever possible.
Best line from a movie that describes me:

"Do you go looking for trouble?"
"No...it pretty much knows where I am most of the time."

Likes:
Italian food, alternative rock, leggy brunettes, toilet humor, some sci-fi, rock climbing, proper use of the english language, music in general (Bizet to Deftones), movies, pouty lips on women,  flying (hey...I am a pilot), clean underwear and a fresh toilet bowl.

Dislikes:
Indian food ("best damn dog I've ever tasted"), condescending people, the backstreet boys, most of my ex-girlfriends, most TV reporters (I was in TV for 4 years), used colostomy bags, country music ("Hey, buddy...she's gone!  Get over it!"), most rap, draft dodgers and smelly farts.

In any case, I try to keep a positive outlook on life-there's too much out there to enjoy not to.  One of the things that I try to remember is the saying, "As long as you can laugh, you are not defeated."  Humor is, IMHO, essential for dealing with and overcoming the obstacles and trials that life has a habit tossing our way.  I may look grim or pensive in the photos-that's just me trying to look cool.  Most of the time I have a goofy little grin on my face. 
-John