a cynic's guide to modern life
#10 10/9/03 -- Six Things that Are Pissing Me Off
1200
Words of Random Anger...
#9 9/29/03 -- P.I.M.P. is L.A.M.E.
I
was at a wedding reception the other day, and this song by a rapper called
50 Cent (recently awarded the “Stupidest Name for an Entertainer in
History – and that includes Meat Loaf”) called P.I.M.P. starts
pumpin’, y’know what I’m sayin’ it was like, dope y’all, know
what I’m saying, yo, dog, homey g...
#8 6/18/03 -- Why Everybody is a Short-Sighted Dumbass
About a month ago was Victoria Day. I’m sure you all had fun, doing whatever it is people do on Victoria Day, which from my observations pretty much involved fuelling up your vehicles and heading to the mall.
#7 5/21/03 -- Greenhouse Gases Arise Despite 30 Million Dollar Ad Campaign
People who know me personally, or who are familiar with my writings will know that I like to rail against suburbanites and their lovable SUVs. I also love to expose hypocrisy whenever I'm afforded the opportunity.
#6 4/18/03 -- Trading Trends: Leave Me in Peace!
Daily life often gives me aneurysms, but I can almost always manage to avoid the flotsam that pollutes the river that is popular culture.
#5 11/25/02 -- Osama Bin Laden: America's Goldstein
“The US has got to get Osama,” trumpets the NY Daily News. I don’t want to sound like a paranoid conspiracy theorist here, but doesn’t it strike anyone else as convenient that bin Laden has chosen this particular time, a time when the US is trying desperately to rally support for their latest crusade against the Muslim infidels and failing miserably, to speak out?
#4 10/21/02 -- George W. Bush: Al-Qaeda Who? Doubleplus Good!
Does anyone remember the war on terrorism? Oh, I know, that is sooo last year. The wave of the present is this inexplicable showdown with Iraq, in the latest absurd chapter of President Cowboy's reign.
#3 01/05/02 -- The Ban on Choice
Just to warn you now, this editorial is going to support the restaurant owners who have chosen to ban minors over smokers. And yes, I further admit that I am biased because when I go into a coffee shop, I like a cigarette with my java. But quite frankly, I’m surprised that more people have not supported this move by some of our city’s cafés, diners and restaurants. After all, what’s better in our society than having a choice? By having some of our public places going adults only, the only people who are going to be subjected to second-hand smoke are those who choose to be. The non-smokers can frequent their joints, and we can frequent ours.
#2 12/27/01 -- Doctor Refuses to Treat Smokers? Where do you Draw the Line?
Dr. Frederick Ross, who owns a practice in my hometown of Winnipeg, has courageously struck a blow for the Health Nazi Regime when he proclaimed that as of March 1, 2002, he will no longer treat people who smoke because “people who smoke are seriously not interested in pursuing the goal of their health.”
#1 11/10/01 -- The Case for Major League Contraction
The writing has been on the wall for anyone who had the sense to realize that this contraction business that MLB commissioner Bud Selig is throwing around is coming whether or not we want it to.
Copyright © 2000-2003 Don Porter. All rights reserved.