When we know we have to let a familiar go, it feels like an iron fist is pressing our heart together, making it hard to breathe. Any pet we love causes pain and tears when we loose it, but a familiar leaves us minus a limb. We have to learn how to walk again. The following is the ritual I put together for my friend and her mother, with attempts to keep it fit for 'mixed' company, speak, non-pagans. It was very well received.

We had known for a few months that Elsa, my friend Sarah's beautiful calico Maine-Coon, had cancer, and she made several appointments to have her put to sleep. Each time, beginning during the phone call to the vet, Elsa started bouncing around, forced herself to eat, played, in short, presented a lively picture. I made the trip to visit her after the third time this happened, and agreed with Sarah that Elsa was putting on an act. She WANTED to live, pain or not. She still had too much spunk left, and she was able to convince us to allow her a little more time. But after two months, she finally agreed to let us make the preparations. The pain had gotten too much for even her big heart to bear. Since Sarah's vet did not allow her to be present or take the body home, (which I furiously opposed by telling them to git and come here) they prepared for the long trip to my home, and my vet. We had decided to bury Elsa in my garden, where other fur-children already sleep. The biggest problem Sarah had, was that She would eventually leave Germany to return to the States, and would not be able to take Elsa home with her. I think I found a good solution.

When they arrived, Elsa was given some time to romp the grass, sniff out the area, and get comfortable with the yard. She seemed to enjoy it very much, but it was clear she checked out everything thoroughly, as if to decide whether or not to approve. She knew, and finally, she accepted the place.

The vet was her normal loving self, and Elsa went quietly. When we returned, we prepared to say goodbye. I had previously dug a deep hole in the front part of the garden, where I will, some day, have a whole row of lilac trees. Most of you know that the lilac is my personal guardian tree, and I have chosen lilacs to accompany my loved one's as well.

I placed the pets collar on my altar pentacle, along with a little bit of fur. I lit a goddess candle, golden and green, and my 'holy' incense from India, reserved for ritual and cleansing. Then we went outside into the garden. It was already dark, and a full moon lit up the clear night. We knelt around the grave, and waited until we felt at peace.

(casting circle of water with sea salt from my altar)

'Consecrated as you should, be dedicated for the good.
Though this holy water pure, no negativity endure.'

(Light charcoal, place frankincense on it. Watch smoke encircle you,
hugging handfuls towards you, as if to 'wash' with it)

' Dear Elsa, join us in spirit one last time. Let Sarah's love be your guide to return. '

(Light scented candle, best in a container to protect from wind)

'We give thanks to the Mighty ones, for the Richness & Goodness of our live together.
As there must be rain with the sun, to make all things complete,
so must we suffer pain with our joy.
Only today will our pain be greater then the joy of remembering our life together.
Tomorrow, we will begin to remember you with a smile. '
'For while we knew not your thoughts, we did know your heart.
Elsa, thank you for the joy of sharing our lives.
Listen to your loved one, one last time: '

(Now Sarah spoke of her love and the life they shared together.
When she was finished, I completed the rite…)

'Great Mother Earth, we would ask your presence here today,
to guide one of your children home.
Great Lady Moon, shining in perfect roundness tonight,
lend your guiding light for the journey. '

(place body into grave)

'Elsa, walk with our blessings, and in peace, for our love walks with you.
Enjoy the rest, and freedom of pain.
Many of our fur-children went before you,
many more will follow in your paw prints, in years to come.
Please watch over the little one, who is to take over for you.
And if you so choose to be reborn, we will be waiting for you.
Our souls will find you.
In our dreams, we shall feel your presence and hear your purr.
And we will smile.
Until we meet again' -

'Ashes to Ashes' (extinguish incense and scatter into grave)
'Earth to Earth' (fill hole)

(while planting tree)

'As the little Rosebush carries my grandmother's spirit,
this lilac will hold yours. Nurture the tree for us, and when the time comes,
a sapling will go to Sarah, to return home with her.'

'Great Mother, for your presence today, we thank you, and bid you goodbye for now.'

(extinguish candle)

(each participant placed a hand on the grave)

'Sleep well little sister.'

I went inside and brought out the new kitten I had chosen for Sarah,
so she could hold it for the first time, while she cried.
The candle burned out by itself, a lot faster then usual.
I placed the collar and the fur in a little bag for Sarah to take home.

While burial is never easy, we all felt at peace, and our tears were healing ones.


© Sorceress SummerWind, Spring 1999