12th Feb -- The Unpolitical Prince Charles takes part in a fox hunt just days before its legal ban.

10th Feb -- Charles announces his engagement to his mistress Camilla Parker-Bowles. A ne vacancy opens up.

7th Feb 2005 -- Charles' tax-free 100s of millions from his Cornish estates come under scrutiny. Something drastioc is required to shift public attewntion. January 2005. Prince Harry dresses up as a Nazi, at a fancy dress party, in the same week as the 60th Anniversary Commemoration for the liberation of Auschwitz. He refuses to apologise, after all it is his famiy's traditional dress.

12.08.04 - BBC Online - Blood samples from the 'drunk', 'high' and 'unstable' chauffeur, Paul Henry, who is held to be responsible for the deaths of Dodi Fayed & Diana Spencer's deaths are to be tested again, following a campaign by the parents of the dead servant.

06.07.04 - BBC & ITV - Queen & the Royal Family that drove Diana to several suicide attempts, have the hypocrisy to unveil a shoddy fountain in her honour. The memorial is quickly closed to the public as it is found to be unsafe.

07.06.04 - MAIL ON SUNDAY - Prince Andrew - who holds some senior military rank, no doubt earnt on merit rather than on the basis of being an inbred whore-mongering dullard of a Windsor - opts to attend a golfing dinner, for which he receives handsome 'expenses' rather than attend D-Day comemorations.

30.05.04 - Sunday Mirror - Prince William suggests he'll join the armed forces once he completes his Art History degree. So it is unlikely to be in the front line in Iraq or Afghanistan, but nice to know he'll be assisting Imperial forces in anadvisory role.

26.05.04 - BBC News Online - Princess Sakina Mahal is pictured in her crumbling home in Delhi, India, stripped of all trappings of grandeur. Her family once reigned over a large swathe of central India, but she now resides in a crumbling 700-year-old hunting lodge - showing that it is possible to depose royal families. A lesson to all of us in the backward West.

09.04.04 - THE MIRROR (English Edition) No one turns out to welcome the Queen on a visit to Liverpool.

03.04.04 - THE MIRROR - Despite dropping out of the Marines seventeen years ago having never finished basic training because it was too tough, Prince Edward nonetheless loves dressing up in army-uniform. He appeared in combat gear complete with colonel's pips at a visit to the other toy-town soldiers the Territorial Army HQ. Edward was appointed Royal Colonel of the Royal Wessex Yeomany, because he felt embarrassed at being the only royal son not in battle dress for the Queen Mum's funeral. Some people earn their stripes, others like Edward get them for just being the queen's son. He is one military git unlikley to be joining the occupying forces being so warmly welcomed (with molotovs) in Iraq.

05.02.04 - BBC, GUARDIAN, LONDON EVENING STANDARD and others report on the pay out and first ever police apology to demonstrators following the mass arrest of anti-royalists drinking in a pub on the day of the Jubilee. the pay out receives far more coverage than the illegal mass arrest did at the time.
Some of the media coverage, from the more royalist papers has been particularly distasteful. Hugh Dougherty of THE EVENING STANDARD in particular, irrelevantly compared the pay our received by the 23 demonstrators to a far lower amount paid out to the parents of murdered children Jessica Chapman and Holly Wells. The wholly inadequate amount of money received by the grieving parents has no relation to this incident. Indeed the awards come two completely separate bodies - the MA'M-supporters received their award as a result of suing the Met' Police, the Criminal Injuries Compensation Scheme are in charge of the insulting level of assistance to the Chapmans and Wells. Whilst sometimes MA'M glories in using sick stunts against the powerful, we would never choose to use the tragic deaths of children for a pure propaganda point. For that level of sickness one has to be a tabloid journalist like Hugh Dougherty - you scumbag.

06.01.04 - BBC News - Diana's chauffeur wasn't drunk after all.

21.12.03 - 04.01.04 - MOST MEDIA - The Royals can't even lie convincingly about their dangerous dogs. The Queenis only upset when her spoilt daughter's ill-trained beasts tackle her prized pets, when kids in a park or a mere servant are attacked, the old witch couldn't give a damn. Such transparent attempts at duplicity don't bode well for the upcoming Diana inquiry.

9.11.03 All Over the Internet & The Herald on Sunday (in Scotland where the injunction doesn't run). Allegations that whilst married Prince Charles enterted into sexual relationships with people from both genders. Allegations follow that his gay-lover was involved in an alleged rape which Buckingham palace helped to cover up. The details of these incidents are subject to an injunction. So in short we have a cover-up of a very serious crime, we have a man incapavble of keeping his word not only to his wife, but his mistress(es), we have an employer who uses his position of power to gain sexual favours, and we have the interference with free speech, and we have the future head of the established church engaging in extra-marital and gay sex, when at the same time fundamentalists are threatening a schism, because some bishop is open about his orientation, so with a bit of luck Charles's behaviour will destroy the homophobic church as well as the Royal Family....

20.10.03 - THE MIRROR & BBC, CHANNEL 4 etc - First update in nearly a year, but hell we had to mention this. Letter from Princess Di just 10 months prior to her death predicts that an unnamed (in the paper, but named in the letter) person will have her killed in a car accident, to protect the Royal Family. Paranoid privileged publicity tart or accurate account of a sinister plot?

01.11.02 - BBC & CHANNEL 4 - Gawd where to start - nothing we could make up would come close to this.... cover ups, withholding information, deception, blackmail.... It's all an everyday story of Royal folk trying to prevent accounts that would damage the Windsor Family firm. Already pressure builds for a march on Buck House against government & royal corruption - to join the campaign register with the email group on the index page.

13.10.02 - THE SUNDAY HERALD - First Scottish hnt closes following ban by Scottish Parliament. Despite assuring us that the countryside would rise up witha few toffs wereprevented from torturing animals, in fact no one cares despite a few bleats by the now ex-hunters.

12.10.02 - THE GUARDIAN - Charles involved in plot to fix National Trust elections so that pro-hunters are elected to the board. National Trust has banned fox- and stag hunting on their lands.

04.10.02 - THE TIMES - Charles, the type of expensibvely educated dicksplash who never lets profound ignorance prevent him from sounding off, demands that schools teach more 'proper British history' that 'celebrates our heritage'. Sadly it seems Charles didn't mean our common heritage of royal-hating (from the Anabaptists, Ranters, Diggers, Levellers, Chartists, anarchists, suffragettes and radical trade unionists) but a celebratration of the kings annd toffs of which he is one of the most inbred examples. To think we have decades more of his reactionary guff to put up with - unless we eradicate the monarchy.

29.09.02 - BBC Online - Prince Anne charged with setting her dogs on commoners in Royal Park.

28.09.02 - THE GUARDIAN - Prince Charles follows uup his party political meddling, by promising to leave the country and spend all his time skiing if hunting is banned. At least in his skiing trips he normally only kills his chums. When asked if he minds 'tossing off a cold, craggy rock-face?' He answers 'no, Camilla enjoys it'.

23.09.02 - BBC NewsOnline and Sunday Mirror. Prince Charles, never slow to support those groups that act in his class interest, has again acted in support of the Countryside Alliance. He has led a campaign to persaude Prime Minister Blair to support hunting and give even bigger government grants to wealthy aristos. Not only is he acting in a political manner, something, supporters of the monarchy claim the royals never do - but he shows he really is Prince Phillip's son with his insensitive remarks about minorities. Unbelievably Charles claims that the aristo is an oppressed minority. If only. To compare the plight of the poor, and those facing dailly discrimination because of their ethnicity, with rural landowners is sickening. If Charles really feels he is an oppressed minority - it is easy to fix. He can abdicate and become just one of us.

1.09.02 - THE OBSERVER - We hate journos, and isn't any wonder. During an otherwise sane report on groups opposing the Countryside Alliance (including the poorly named Urban Alliance), the sick scribe mentions a couple of letter bomb attacks, which had no relevance to the groups named. The deliberate intention was to give the impression being that groups opposing the aristo's-pressure group, the CA are somehow linked to individual acts of terror which could harm innocent postal workers.

1.09.02 - SUNDAY EXPRESS - Edward & Sophie do something tactless and tasteless, details too dull and repetitive to go through yet again. It's no good simply hating them - take action. Write to MA'M, PO Box 14672, London, E9 5UQ or email colinwest_mam@yahoo.co.uk - and maybe we can could work together.

27.08.02 - THE EVENING STANDARD (London Regional Newspaper) - Th right-wing Standard newspaper reports that Camilla will be attending the Countryside Alliance Demonstration on September 22nd. Prince Charles will be giving his staff PAIDleave to attend. The rally is to protest against a government bill against the sadistic aristo pursuit of hunting with hounds. No doubt some twisted inbred will still try to claim the Royal Family is 'apolitical'. A counter demo is planned. Click here for updates on opposition to the rural ruling class Here. If you have further info non the Countryside Alliance and the Royals contact colinwest_mam@yahoo.co.uk

11.08.02 - THE OBSERVER - HRH The Queen whose estimated worth is somewhere between £700 million and £5 billion was given a Bentley by the manufacturers worth £1,500,000 to celebrate the Jubilee. Quite by chance the Director of Bentley Richard Charlesworth was given the Member of the Victorian Order in the jubilee honours. A mere coincidence of course. The monarchy wouldn't be corrupt, would it?

24.07.02 - BBC NEWS - Prince Andrew who was caught travelling at 60 miles an hour in a 40 mile an hour zone is not fined by the police. Yet another case of one law for the royals - and one for us.... tyou'd think Andrew would be especially carefully if the rumours that his dad - Prince Philip severely injured a young woman many years ago in a car accident that was hushed up - any info on this would be gratefully received at colinwest_mam@yahoo.co.uk

26.06.02 - GUARDIAN - President Roosevelt personally ordered covert surveillance on the Duke and Duchess of Windsor during the second world war after receiving intelligence that the duchess had been passing secrets to a top Nazi with whom she was alleged to have had a tempestous affair, according to documents released to the Guardian by the FBI.

16.06.02 - THE MAIL ON SUNDAY - Brown-nosing Royalist publicity-whore, Tony Blair, has been deeply embarrassed by the leak that his office was pushing for a more high profile role in the Queen Mum's funeral. Forget for the moment that Blair is a devious liar - who exactly leaked the story to the press? It wouldn't be the 'apolitical' House of Windsor would it? See below, perhaps.

15.06.02 - THE GUARDIAN - The government under pressure from the public launches an investigation into special low rents offered to the Lesser Royals. Top, luxury penthouse accommodation for the less than 5% of the market rent, a saving worth hundreds of thousands of pounds per year.

10.06.02 - THE SUN - "BEFORE you get too carried away over our wonderful Royal Family, consider the fate of the staff who used to work for the Queen Mum. Backstairs Billy, the QM’s most trusted aide, has been kicked out of his home after 51 years loyal service. Other staff at Clarence House with decades of service have been told to pack their belongings. They are even being charged £1.80 for the cardboard boxes to cart their stuff away in."

09.06.02 - SCOTLAND ON SUNDAY - Row over Queen's Inheritance Tax avoidance continues. The tories and other royalist arselicks support Queenie in avoiding a tax the rest of us would be liable for.

08.06.02 - THE INDEPENDENT - Effin' 'ell the dickhead Prince Philip does it again. During the Queen's recent visit to the Murugan hindu temple in North London, the Prince asks Hindu Tamil monks if they are terrorists? They have to explain to him that they are monks are not associated in any way with violence.

05.06.02 - THE GUARDIAN & EVENING STANDARD - 41 Anti-Jubilee protestors are arrested. Some were having a quiet drink in a pub when the police stormed in to detain them. All but one has now been released without charge.

05.06.02 - THE HERALD (Glasgow) - Despite near continuous pro-monarchy propaganda, including six interviews with MAMsters by various organs of the BBC, Channel 4 and Channel 5 being cancelled in case anything critical was said about the Windsors - opinion polls show that barely half of all Scots (52%) support the Crown. However, even if it were an over-whelming majority, and we are hoping that soon it will be - that still won't get rid of the Royals, only action will....

04.06.02 - ALL PAPERS - Buckingham Palace on fire. Sadly Elton John is safely evacuated. Oddly not a single paperr on any occasion reports the cost of the jubilee celebrations. And they wonder why we consider journos to be thick, docile scum.

08.05.02 - CHANNEL 4 NEWS - Queen to 'legally' avoid paying 20 million quid in inheritance tax on an unearnt income of 50 million. A special privilege granted, just to her, by the government.

02.05.02 - ALL MEDIA - May day a huge success,everyone has a cracking time, plus a few strategic targets hit. Not that it's reported like this in the papers, but if you read between the lines its clear the journos are envious of us.

01.05.02 - DAILY RECORD - Prince Andrew fulfills his daily work allowance by attending the opening of a new footpath. After the ceremony he asks the organisers when the path will be open? Just as well his isn't an elected position.

27.04.02 - ALL PAPERS (SOURCE: Met Police) - All the major newspapers reprint a Met. Police press release that calls the forthcoming May Day activists 'guerrillas', and inferring that we are coming in armed. This is of course utter nonsense. The only tightly organised bunch of thugs planning armed terror are the rozzers themselves. We won't be intimidated into losing our party atmosphere. So come along and join in the carnival.

21.04.02 - THE OBSERVER - Charles is so distraught about his grans death, he can't wait to leach off her belongings. Including her luxurious free accommodation. Charles has only 4 residences of his own. Barely enough for each of his mistresses.

16.04.02 - THE SUN - Suggests that the public will support Charles marrying Camilla. Two funerals for us to support, and The Sun, wants us to pay for another wedding - and another divorce.

07.04.02 - THE OBSERVER - Over 1000 people complain that BBC gave too much coverage to royal death. Not a single complaint was received saying there was too little.

07.04.02 - SUNDAY MIRROR (Scottish edition) - Celtic fans indeed give the Minutes silence the respect it deserves. The team bouyed up by such an appropriate response win 5-1 and claim SPL championship.

05.04.02 - THE MIRROR - Celtic fans plan to jeer Minute's Silence to the Queen Mum. Not a great deal of preparation needed for this.

04.04.02 - THE MIRROR - Having assured us that the whole world is mourning the Queen Mum's death, they then show pictures of a complete absence of people wishing to sign the book of condolence.

03.04.02 - DAILY MAIL - During WWII Queen Mum cheated on her husband, which was one way to raise war time morale. Surprisingly she slept with a member of the allied forces.

02.04.02 - DAILY MAIL - Slags BBC off because newsreader wears dark read tie to announce Queen Mum's death. Quite right too. Should have been a revolving musical one, playing 'Lets All Have a Disco...' Daily Mail's campaign is reported in the overseas media in their 'And Finally..' section alongside dogs that can fart the opening bars to the Battle Hymn of the Republic.

30.03.02/31.03.02 - EVERY EFFING WHERE - QUEEN MUM IS DEAD. At last the royals bend to public opinion and give us what we really want - More Royal Funerals. More details later, too drunk to write any more...

16.03.02 - THE GUARDIAN - 'The capaign by the Earl and Countess of Wessex to reinvent themselves as full time royals was undermined yesterday' It emerged that they postponed one of their first charity arrangements with a children's hospice because they did not want their private lunch interrupted. Words fail us, but half bricks won't.

10.03.02 - THE OBSERVER - Charities resist royal association. Unnamed charities are attempting to avoid having Edward & Sophie as Royal Patrons as they are so unpopular. 1980s Children's TV presenter, drag artist and Rocky Horror Show bit part actor - Christopher Biggins is cited as a more preferable option.

03.02.02 - THE GUARDIAN - This time its Australian aboriginies our unaccountable 'ambassador' Prince Philip insults.

16.02.02 - ALL MEDIA - Old woman cremated. Following public interest Margarets's funeral moved to fourth in order of news importance on the main TV stations, just beating the story of a tap dancing gerbil.

09.02.02/10.02.02 - ALL MEDIA - Princess Margaret, a woman who had never knowingly done a days work in her life, who was rude and arrogant to those lesser beings whose tax and labour paid for her luxurious existence, died today. She Prefered to continue a life of privilege than be with the man she claimed to have loved. Prime Minister Blair claimed that the whole country was upset by the news. He has never been more wrong.

27.01.02 - BBC RADIO 5 LIVE - Reports that New Labour has forbidden its MPs from criticising the Queen, fearing that the growing antipathy towards the Royals will result in a Jubilee wash-out. Radio 5 also reports that 'anarchist republican' street party events are planned for the day. What ever could they mean?

20.01.02 - MAIL ON SUNDAY - Charles suspected of deliberately leaking stories about Harry's drug-taking to make himself look good. What sort of dad (along with his mistress) use a teenager's troubles as a PR stunt?

12.01.02 – ALL PAPERS – 16 year old smokes a draw and has a drink. Yes, it’s more stories from the comically dysfunctional royals. Can it be any surprise that a teenager from a broken home, whose father drove his mother to repeated suicide attempts and has a life-time in front of him of being a despised parasite, is attracted to a drug-induced escape? The oddest part of this story is that his dad takes him to a drug rehab unit to show him the damaged effects of drug & drink addiction. Wouldn’t it have been cheaper simply to show him his Great Aunt, Princess Margaret? Edward was also thrown out of one pub for bigotry and abuses cooking staff. Seems the influence of Prince Phillip is at work. Help Edward avoid being a waster - abolish the royals.

07.01.02-11.01.02 - Daily Telegraph - Even the ultra-conservative and normally royalist Daily Telegraph prints a series of article attacking the Queen and the rest of the royals. Incompetent, emotionally cold, insensitive, manipulative and vindictive - and that's just the Queen's attitude to her kids.

17.12.01 - Glasgow Herald, Scotsman - Countryside Alliance back in business. 15,000 aristos and their lackeys hold demonstration in Edinburgh. Seems as though they are losing support as this 5,000 less than they predicted in Scottish Farmer magazine prior to the demo. Many rural dwellers are furious with the CA and the CA's claim to represent the rural resident. One cause of complaint is that the CA are willing to go to prison in order to protect their 'right' to terrorise the countryside, but have done nothing to protect village schools from closure or campaign against rural poverty. Worryingly a more militant, para-military wing of CA has been developed called Rural Rebels. Don't expect anything egalitarian from them. Solidarity with oppressed people is not on their agenda. Made up of farm-owners and huntspeople they are planning violent action to ensure that they continue their bloodsports.

09.11.01 - BBC News Online - Alina Lebedeva, a 16 year old Latvian school girl bravely slapped Prince Charles in the face with a bunch of flowers, because of the bigot's support for the war in Afghanistan. Alina has been charged with endangering of life of a foreign dignitory - and face up to 15 years in jail. A protest at the Latvian embassy in London is planned - please watch the website and join the MAM email list for further information.

31.10.01 - THE TIMES - Charles, the apolitical figurehead, makes it known that he supports the murder of Afghan civilians. He is also, non-politically, Commander-in-Chief of a number of Armed Forces - including 1st Paratroop Regiment. Opposition to the use of hierarchical force continues to grow. MA'M remains committed to eradicating all authoritarian leaders - whether secular dictators, theocrats or monarchs.

14.10.01 - THE NEWS OF THE WORLD - Presents a dossier of Edwards' evil-doing. This includes his oft-cited contempt for members of the public (ie us mugs who he sponges off), his dodgey business dealings, including details of lying to just about everyone concerning his media company and his selfishness.

04.01.01 - ANANOVA Internet News service - In an interview with the American Press Princess Sarah Fergusson reports she was due to be on a top floor of the World Trade Center on the 11th september. Her meetng wqas postponed. So no silver lining to this particular tragedy.

23.09.01 - THE OBSERVER - Rich kid starts at posh university. Prince William starts at St. Andrews University (the Scottish equivalent to Bristol University), ie an enclosure for wealthy champagne quoffing turds. In an interview he claims he thinks 'anti-monarchist .... are wrong'. Well there's a surprise. Maybe a more exhuberant explanation of our point of view will change his mind. Opposition to William in Scotland grows. Contact the MA'M PO Box for more info.

22.09.01 - THE GUARDIAN. Surprise, surprise, Prince Charles' favourite adviser, Laurens Nan der Post waas a far right wing, fantacist, liar and racist.

12.09.01 - ALL PAPERS (Except Morning Star) Suicide bombers kill thousands in US. Queen leads tributes to the dead, something she failed to do for the equally tragic deaths of thousands of Sudanese killed by US aerial bombardment a few years earlier. The Queen is, of course, 'non-political'.

11.09.01 - DAILY MAIL -Exclusive story that Prince William loved his mum, while the Queen hated her. Well done Daily Mail you sad fuggin' waste of trees.

05.09.01 - DAILY MAIL - Prince Charles thinks his granny, the nation's least favourite alcoholic racist aristocrat, is finally nearing her end. We leave it to MA'M supporters to mark the occasion of the Queen Mum's death in an appropriate manner. I'll see you in the pub.

21.07.01 - ALL PAPERS - Protestor, Carlo Giuliani, is shot dead by Italian police in Genoa.

21.07.01 - THE GUARDIAN - HM The Queen's efforts to ingratiate herself with sports fans fell flat. Having sent a minion to make a cake for Radio 4's Test Match Special team, sports commentatot Pat Murphy refused to eat it as he's a Republican.

14.07.01 - THE TIMES - Prince William whilst on another foreign jaunt was being shown a protected species of ibis flying over head. William's instant reaction was to pick up a gun and shoot the pooor creature dead, thereby showing that both stupidity and bloodthirsty sadism runs in the family. For details of Philip's bloody roll of dishonour go to Sick bastard

08.07.01 - THE OBSERVER - Charles plans to marry Camilla. The royal pimp is to get his whore. Or is it yet another future divorce we'll have to pay for?

07.07.01 - THE DAILY MAIL - Anne's second marriage in on the rocks.

07.07.01 - THE MIRROR - Prince Philip admits that Royals, including Edward and Sophie were using state money and trading on their royal connections to enrich themselves. In other countries, this is called 'corruption'.

30.06.01- SUNDAY MIRROR - The Queen is to bung Prince Edward a cool three quarters of a million per annum if he and his sloane wife stop embarrassing the Royal firm with their disasterous media businesses. Ardent, the Prince's 'production company' has never broken even despite trying trading entirely on his royal connections.

03.06.01 - THE SUNDAY TIMES - Having gunned down the King & Queen and six other members of their royal family, Crown Prince Deprenda of Nepal, turned the gun on himself - and missed. Despite having massacred his family and lying in a coma, his right to ascension to the throne has been confirmed by the surviving members of the cabinet... Insane, but under our constitution, our head of state could be a multiple murderer - still anyone fancy buying Prince william a semi-automatic?

21.04.01 - THE MIRROR - The ever loyal tabloid makes a half-hearted effort to raise interest in the Queen's 75th birthday, but not even her family give a shit. Most are on foreign holiday and can't be arsed. This is the first time ever that minor royals have shown any thing in common with the rest of us.... they hate the old bag too.

11.04.01 - THE MIRROR - Poll reports that 69% in favour of abolishing the monarchy. Okay so that it is a highly unscienmtific telephone poll, but nonetheless the once loyal Daily Mirror would not publish an article with the headline ABOLISH THEM - if it did not feel it was in tune with its readership. While it is the dogs bollocks that we are in the majority - unless popular dissatisfaction is translated into popular action then the royals will remain. Even if 99.9% of the population hates the royals they won't go until they are pushed. Time to start to start shoving.

9.04.01 - THE TIMES - Sophie and her husband are willing to resign from their jobs, (if you can call losing huge amounts of money on crap TV programmes not even the Americans will watch, and poncing about as a PR, 'jobs') so long as they can keep being royals. The desparate clutch onto privilege means they are willing to do anything so long as they can keep their positions of power.

8.04.01- THE NEWS OF THE WORLD & OTHERS - Sophie Rhys Jones and her husband, failed TV executive Edward Windsor are revealed to move in cocaine abusing circles. The Duchess of Wessex also thinks that the Labour Party is not sufficiently sycohpantic towards 'the countryside' - meaning country land-owners, like herself and her mother-in-law. Well she's no different from every other privileged piece of shit. What does make her and her husband even more disgusting than even the lowest form of aristo, is that they used their positions as royals to tout for business at our expense, using royal visits to promote their companies.

1.4.01 - MAIL ON SUNDAY - Queen a slag - so says not only us, healf the population of the UK, but the people who know her best, in this case Sophie Rhys Jones, her daughter in law.

18.03.01 - MAIL ON SUNDAY - The apolitical Queen Elizabeth also makes it clear that the everyone elses livelihood (whether jockeys, bookies or punters) should be adversely affected so that farmers - of which she is the country's largest - can be properly compensated. Foot and Mouth, incidentally is not lethal, curable, and unlike BSE will not affect humans, but it will make animals lose vital weight.

16.03.01 - THE DAILY EXPRESS - Prince Charles helps fund the farmers with half a million spare quid.

20.02.01 - THE SUN - Vermin live in Buckingham Palace and poison sanctioned for their disposal. In this case though it is some fairly harmless rodents who are the target of the execution squad.

14.01.01 - THE SUNDAY MIRROR - The future head of the Church of England, not only cheated on Diana with Camilla Parker Bowles, but he also cheated on his mistress with Janet Jenkins. This affair lasted 16 years.

14.01.01 - THE SUNDAY MIRROR - Wages for royal servants are so low that one attempted to commit suicide as a result of his financial problems. The page earnt just £8,000/pa - on that salary he wasn't a page, more a paragraph.

10.01.01 - THE MIRROR - Five year old Anna Engstrom spoke for us all when the child met Princess Anne and called the arrogant royal witch 'horrioble' to her face. MAM will have to start up a nursey section.

7.01.01 - SUNDAY MIRROR
Prince Charles breaks his arm fox hunting. Not the first time he's been tossed off by a horse.

26.12.00 - THE SUN
Princess Anne lets slip the royal contempt for the sad, lonely people who stand around cheering the windsors. The princess took a basket of flowers made by pensioner Mary Halfpenny, 75, who had waited for hours to see the Royals, and said: "What a ridiculous thing to do."

10.12.00 - NEWS OF THE WORLD, SUNDAY PEOPLE, OBSERVER, INDEPENDENT ON SUNDAY, SUNDAY TIMES, MAIL ON SUNDAY - in fact EVERY EFFIN' NEWSPAPER
Headline story on all the sunday paperss covered the amazing news that an 18 year old bloke does a days work. I guess its so amazing as the teenager in question is a member of the Royal Family. The less surpruising feature is that he was on a foreign holiday at the time. And that doing some work is considered to be a nice change of pace. Worryingly all the newspapers obeyed the Windsor's in not publishing stories or photographs of the Prince. Every newspaper editor seems to bare the brown nose as a badge of honour.

05.12.00 - THE GUARDIAN - Countryside Alliance is splitting under pressure. The adamant bloodsport sadists are angry that some are willing to forego the opportunity to tear up specially bred animals to pieces if the government gives them enough bribes. THE CA march planned for March 2001 is still expected to go ahead. Nice to know that the pressure is telling. 19.11.00 - THE SUNDAY MIRROR - Page One - The Queens idea of a relaxing hobby is to strangle local wildlife. Her Spokespeople claim that the Queen was acting in a wholly humanitarian manner and was putting a poor old bird out of its misery.

19.11.00 - THE SUNDAY MIRROR - page Three. The Queen pays her staff so little that she encourages them to claim state benefits that due to their miserly wages (around £4/hour) they are entitled to. The Queen's spokesman say that even thpough she's the richest woman in Europe, she can't afford to pay more as she is just a poor old bird.... maybe her serfs should act in a humanitarian manner and put her out of her royal misery.

30.10.00 - THE TELEGRAPH - Even John Major thinks Prince Charles is unfit to rule. Torygraph also reports that Queen kept copies of the Daily Mirror showing a semi-naked Fergie giving a toe-job to her 'financial adviser' in order to humiliate her daughter-in-law further and force the unwanted red-headed to vacate her Balmoral home.

29.10.00 - NEWS OF THE WORLD - A governor of a school has a rather adventurous sex life, as a result Royal aides want him to cancel a meeting with Charles, they claim in order to avoid embarrassing the heir. As we all know Charles, the next head of the Church of England, is himself not above a bit of adultery.

16.9.00 - THE SUN, DAILY MIRROR & DAILY EXPRESS - The Royals are pissed off that a commoner is trying to make money out of insulting Diana - after all that's their job. Demonstrating the royal privilege of applying double standards they say the book giving insights intio Diana's life would harm her children - this never stopped the Windsor's briefing against her during her lifetime.

10.09.00 - THE WINDSORS commence the third month of their well-earnt holiday.

21.08.00 - THE SUN - Public School Educated Rich Kid gets into University - Shock. Yup, Prince William has got 3 A Levels. His education came at a cost per year of what is spent on 18 pupils at comprehensives.

He's off to college in Edinburgh, which is handy as his dad is Duke of the place. Maybe he'll bump into some of his half-brothers and -sisters up there.

17.07.00 - THE SUN & THE MIRROR - Wills and Harry show their true feelings for their great gran, by f**king off to the countryside rather than be with her on her 100th birthday. Many of us wish we had the time and cah to f**k off to the countryside so that we too can be spared the endless Royal hype.

17.07.00 - THE MIRROR - Astonishing news that a supporter of Movement Against the Monarchy is a 'Middlesex University Lecturer'. MA'M has NEVER and will NEVER give away the names or addresses who contact it. Not even to confirm or deny a newspaper report. Everyone who contacts MA'M is assured of absolute confidentiality. So it is not possible to outline the material inaccuracies in the story. Still, if the Daily Mirror considers that a moderately educated person does not like the royals is important enough to warrant a full page story and photo on Page 9 , think how intrested they will be in your story. So if you fancy a bit of fame - why not contact g.brough@mirror.co.uk or c.bain@mirror.co.uk and tell them about yourself.

16.07.00 - THE OBSERVER - Anthony Holden, Royal Biographer, describes the Queen Mum thus: 'a woman who has never done a day's work in her life, who has blithely run up eight figure overdrafts of the tax-payers' money on racehorses, had four palatial residences, 50-full time servants and the pampered life of a latterday Marie-Antionette...' despite being 'credited [by her lackies] with winning the Second World War' and for her remark after one wing of Buckingham Palace was damaged by Nazi bombs, had earlier publicly supported appeasing Hitler.

16.07.00 - THE SUNDAY MIRROR - The Queen Mum is praised by the Mirror 'journalists' for not being intimidated by MA'M activists planning disrupt her big day on August 4th. This ordinary frail old woman with just the combined support of the Metropolitain Police, the Armed Forces and her own division of gun-toting security staff - is willing to brave the public for ten minutes. We salute your bravery MA'M - and hope to give you our own special birthday surprise.

21.06.00 - THE GUARDIAN - 'Prince Charles and Camilla Parker-Bowles las night appeared in public for the first time together at a semi-official engagement in the latest attempt to win public acceptance.... A group of anti-monarchy demonstrators shouted and waved placards as the couple walked into the building. The couple had been expected to pose for photograpers when they arrived but were apparently startled by the noise of the Movement Against the Monarchy protestors on the other side of the road and disappeared quickly inside the building'.

16.06.00 - ALL PAPERS (except Independent) - The Royals react to their lowest ever opinion poll rating by throwing Prince William into the spotlight. They hope that the 18 year old teen- and gay-icon can save the institution.

04.06.00 - THE PEOPLE - Vandals try to desecrate Diana's grave - Four Times. Like a scene from Ian Bone's novel The Anarchist four attempts have been made to defile Diana's tomb. For those who've read Bone's book will know that her body isn't even in there - as it has been taken by her brother as part of the sick Spencer curse. The Anarchist is available from the MA'M PO Box and most bad bookshops.

04.06.00 - THE OBSERVER - BBC folds to pressure from Royals - and pulls a programme critical off the Monarchy. Moron Prince Edward can make whatever piece of shit he likes and it gets broadcast, but a programme written by a Liverpool schoolkid is pulled because it doesn't suck Windsor arse.

17.05.00 - ALL PAPERS - D*ckhead Prince Charles sucessfully assists the Genetically Modification multinationals, by polarising opposition on ludicrous grounds. The ill-informed, arrogant aristo complains that what is wrong with GM is not that it will give tremendous power to massive conglomerates, but that it ignores 'spirituality'. HRH's intervention has the intended consequence of making opposition to Genetic modification appear to be supportive of him and his crackpot mysticism. A mysticism that he hopes will support his divine right to rule.

14.05.00 - SUNDAY MIRROR - Eton pupil in spying link to anti-royals. Repeating the exact same quarter-truths that appeared in London's Evening Standard (13.05.00). The Sunday Mirror spreads the surprising story that anarchists (who make up some - but by no means all of MA'M supporters) oppose the monarchy. In order to protect the Royals from further protests - the Commander of the Metropolitan Police Sir John Stevens, again promises to override civil rights.

10.05.00 - DAILY MAIL - Anarchists To target The Queen. Fancy that, anarchists aren't keen on royalty. Sir John Stevens the Metropolitan Police Commissioner expresses surprise that those dastardly anarchos 'want the Royal Family dismantled'. However he has plan to stop the Royals facing the indignity of facing a demonstration, he's going to ask Jack Straw to abandon any rights to free association.
If it wasn't so frightening, it'd be funny.

5.05.00 - ALL PAPERS - Andy and Fergie to get back together again. Another dull episod in the tedious soap operas about in-born parasites. Like all soaps, it's a story re-hashed from 16.10.99.

30.03.00 - DAILY EXPRESS (and near everything else) - Australian Surrealist Assassins Try Again. This time the Ozzies try to bump off Prince Philip with a tomato. Despite the royals only choosing the most pro-monarchical parts of Australia to visit, they have been met with an encouraging degree of hostility. Odd that when the Windsors get the treatment they richly deserve in foreign climes these are reported in the all the papers, but when they are barracked in Britain, not even the local papers mention it. (Ed's comment: Well at the time of writing this was true)

20.03.00 - ALL PAPERS - Royals prove to be popular in Australia, at least as a targets for surreal assassination attempts. Gregory Pailthorpe, was charged with having a knife and a pretend explosive device within a quarter of a mile of the Queen. Previously someone had shot at out Prince Charles with a starting pistol. Really Australia, is this the best you can do?

20.02.00 - THE SUNDAY PEOPLE (and most others) - HEROINE OF TE YEAR - in a brave solo effort in the Anti-Royalist cause - Monica Traub plots to kill Queen by poisoning her. Sadly she is sacked. Some journalists have been asking whether MA'M activists are seeking jobs in royal kitchens. Obviously, unlikely Ms Traub we won't be boasting about it before it happens, but lets just say certain people aren't being as careful as they ought in removing the Queen Mum's fishbones...

13.02.00 - THE OBSERVER - Prince Edward, Duke of Wessex, is to have £2,000,000 worth of expenses done to his house at tax-payers expense. The money comes out of Ministry of Defence budgets partly in an effort to hide such extravagance from the public gaze.

23.01.00 - SUNDAY MIRROR - Royals Overpaid by £20 Million Pounds, the 'The Queen... [is to] be asked to pay back more than £20 Million overpaid to her over 10 years because of a built in annual inflation estimate of 7.5 per cent. In fact inflation has barely topped 4 per cent and is now running at just 2 per cent'. The Queen is overpaid by a hell of a lot more, her family has received (at 1999 prices) over £100,000,000 in the last 10 years from the Civil List alone - which has included pay outs of 225,000 per annum to princess Alexandra, £236,000 to the Duke and Duchess of Kent and £219,000 to Princess Margaret. this doesn't count the wealth from their 'inherited' lands. Whilst its good public pressure is seeing the royals cough up a little of their loot, as a columnist for the Sunday Mirror, Beatrix Campbell points out, their unpopularity will not end until their have given up ALL their unjust power.

9.01.00 - SUNDAY PEOPLE - Prince William, nobodies favourite Royal whinger, clashes with his father. Whilst most teenagers want more freedom to go down the pub or a new pair of trainers, Prince Willy's complaint is that the arrangements for his latest skiing trip aren't too his liking. At 17 William's latest Xmas presents include a brand new car and a horse. What he really needs is a very hard smack.

7.01.00 - The MIRROR - Royals worried that Prince William's mates are taking drugs. Camilla's son was busted for coke, but unlike working class, and especially Black people, he wasn't sent down for a long stretch. Now William's mates are trying with drugs. MA'M encourage such youthful experimentation with hard drugs amongst the arisocracy - and suggest they all start shooting up into their eye ducts pure heroine mixed with Flash.

9.12.99 - NOTTINGHAM EVENING POST - reports royal visit without mentioning the anti-monarchist demonstration. The absence of such a report has nothing to do with this impartial paper running a competition whose first prize was an opportunity to 'Meet the Queen'.

31.10.99 - NEWS OF THE WORLD - Prince Charles takes sons hunting at the Beaufont fox hunt. William rides to the kill on his horse while the other one follows the ritual on a motor bike. Seems these two royal parasites are following in daddies footsteps. This follows Charles' earlier claims to be giving up hunting. Constitutionalists are shocked by this further entry into politics as the anti-Fox-hunting Bill is before parliament.

31.10.99 - THE SUNDAY TIMES - Exeter, Countryside Alliance mass 19,000 marchers. They celebrate the fact that the Anti's number just a few hundred.

21.10.99 - 24.10.99 - ALL PAPERS - Police crush protests against unelected leader of militaristic superpower. No not against the Royal family this time, after all this abuse of police powers was widely reported, but against those denouncing the President of China, Jiang Zemin. Jiang is royally entertained by the Queen and Prince Philip and half a dozen members of the Windsor clan. Prince Charles heroically makes his protest against China's invasion of Tibet and appalling human rights record by, at great risk to himself, missing out on another banquet and staying at home with one of his mistresses.

16.10.99 - THE DAILY EXPRESS - Fergie and Andrew to wed again. Another Royal Wedding and another royal divorce to pay for. Are they taking the piss?

26.9.99 - THE OBSERVER - Prince Charles has been secretly funding and supporting the far-right COUNTRYSIDE ALLIANCE - he even has held dinners for the senior operators at his home. The COUNTRYSIDE ALLIANCE is grouping run by wealthy farmers and landed aristocracy dedicated to maintaining their hegemony in rural areas. So much for the apolitical nature of the Crown. (We would welcome any information on the CA)

26.8.99 - ALL PAPERS - Prince Edward slags off the citizens who keep him in luxury to the American media by saying we denegrate success. As though he was successful. The desparate, arrogant little twerp whose Production Company (Ardent) has posted losses every year of its scrawny, insignificant existenc. It only survives on the basis that it can sell its Royalist crap to a few overseas, gullible media companies who still imagine that Brit's are still in enthralled by royalty.

His company's whole survival is based on an accident of birth - the fact he's a Windsor. No skill, no ability is needed, just being part of the Ruling Class is enough.

10.8.99 - ALL PAPERS - This time its Asians who are the subject to Philip's bigotry. On a visit to a Scottish factory he commented that an example of shoddy wiring must be the work of 'Indians'. To make matters worse, instead of apologising for being so flaming thick and insensitive, he tries to excuse his comments by claiming it was 'light-hearted'. Racism is so ingrained, he thinks its funny. May we light-heartedly suggest that the moronic git, on his next visit to the sub-continent, no doubt to enjoy sites such as the Taj Mahal (a genuine example of Indian craft) places his head up an elephant's bum-crack.

4.6.99 - THE GUARDIAN - Bigot Philip Does It Again.
The latest incident for Prince Philip came when he 'joked' that youngsters from the British Deaf association had been deafened by standing too close to a steel band playing Carribean music. Pointing to the loudspeakers the duke said "Deaf? If you are near there no wonder you are deaf," before walking away. 17 year old Neil Roach said 'He should have shaken our hands and shown us some respect.'

1.6.99 - THE TIMES - In a desparate bid to gain public support Prince Chareles jumps on the anti-GM food bandwagon. His press relations executives claim that Prince Charles was responsible for public interest in environmental matters, as if the trite words of one over-privileged fox-hunter was more important than the campaigns of us ordinary mortals in groups like Greenpeace, EF! and HSA etc.

27.5.99 - THE SUN showing itself to be the royal-lickspittle apologises to the Palace and Sophie Rhys-Sloane. There are no similar words of regret for other lesser celebs who have been similarly exposed.

26.5.99 - THE SUN - Shockingly reveals that Royal-to-be Sophie Rhys-Jones was a friend and PR to Chris Tarrant. Oh Yeah and it shows her breasts as well.

9.5.99 - SUNDAY TIMES - reports that the Prince Edward is throwing a strop because his mum won't make him a Duke. And is signing himself 'Edward P' in imitation of his much respected fascist-supporting uncle. However the dunderhead has broken royal protocol as the 'P' stands for 'Prince of Wales' somethiong he isn't.

21.4.99 - THE MIRROR - reports that even the dunderheaded Duke of Edinburgh finds the Queen a bore as he falls asleep during one of her interminable speeches at some Royal reception.

2.4.99 - BRISTOL EVENING POST - Admits that the Queens visit to the Cathedral was disrupted by anti-monarchy protesrors.

15.3.99 - EVERY NEWSPAPER reports that The Queen Mum 'gawd bless her' has managed to run up an overdraft of £4,000,000, depsite being given £643,000 A YEAR from the likes of us. She has 4 Homes, a private art collection, a staff of 50, including 2 butlers, a dresser, 3 parlour maids, a cook, and enough security officers to police South East London after a Millwall versus Charlton match. And the Royals have the audacoity to pretend to be 'just like the rest of us'. To help the old crone out MA'M passed a bucket round, and we hope what we gave will make a tasty (if somewhat salty) alternative to Maa'ms gin and vintage wines.

10.3.99 - Charles shows his skills at diplomacy by supporting previous British Imperial adventures while visiting Latin America. Even his reactionary, ruling-class hosts are embarrassed by his views. THE GUARDIAN newspaper demonstrates its 'left-wing' leanings by concentrating on the Prince's attempts at dancing and reporting the trip as a success.

9.3.99 - Argentinian populace show Prince Charles the respect he deserves by burning him in efigy and then attempting to do the same to the right royal nob himself. The shedding of blue blood is only prevened by armed police.

26.2.1999 - SOUTH LONDON STRESS (Brixton Community sheet) reports that school kids from Brockwell started barracking the Queen on an invasion - or visit to their manor.

14.2.99 - THE PEOPLE reports that the events where the Windsors gain most of their symbolic power, the grand processions requires the drugging of the horses to keep them quiet and obedient.

14.2.99 - THE OBSERVER carries the story that Charles is planning to take Camilla out hunting. What better way to celebrate his love on valentines day than by terrorising rural communities with that grizzily exercise of aristocratic sadism, the torture of defenceless animals.

9.2.99 - THE MIRROR (and other papers) carry reports on another death on a Prince's Trust activity. The Royal terrorist organisation The Liberation of Profit from Health And Safety Controls (LPHASC) claims another life.

14.1.99 - THE SUN reports that Prince Charles is being a initiating his sons into the brave sport of torturing foxes with dogs. This is despite earlier reports that he was foresaking his blood-thirsty little hobby.

10.1.99 - THE NEWS OF THE WORLD describes how Prince Edward maintained the tradition of using Royal servants as sexual chattels.

6.1.99 - THE SUN reports that failed soldier, disasterous It's A Knockout Competitor, Wealthy Royal and worse of all a friend of Andrew Lloyd Webber - Edward Windsor is to marry affluent sloane Sophie Rhys-Jones, whose crimes against humanity include assisting the snuff-TV personality Noel Edmunds.

5.1.99 - THE GUARDIAN reports again of Queen Mum's support of Margaret Thatcher and her anti-social policies. Here's one old dear who never has to worry about ending up on a hospital trolley.

29.11.98 - SUNDAY PEOPLE reports that Charles is using one of his homes to provide cheap accommodation for a friend of his - a convicted sex-offending priest.

25.11.98 - Inquest into the deaths of 2 lads killed due to inadequate health & safety protection, on a Prince's Trust scheme for cheap labour. Prince's Charity admits responsibility for the two deaths and his fined just £10,000.

13.11.98-25.11.98 - Three days of parties on pounced off booze for Big Prince Charlies 50th Birthday.

Early October - Daily Mirror reports on the Queen Mum's sympathy for the previous South African Apartheid regime. What a surprise from a family containing the racially sensitive Prince Philip.

TWELVE MAD MONARCHS
First 10 taken from Time Out November 1998

King George III once walked over to an oak tree, shook hands with one of its branches and chatted to it for several minutes. The King thought he was talking to the King of Prussia.

Princess Alexandria of Bavaria believed she swallowed a grand piano as a child and kept up this belief until she dies.

King Ludwig II of Bavaria decreed that day was night and night was day and had a moon painted on his bedroom ceiling.

Prince Otto - Ludwig II's youngest brother decided that the only way to keep his sanity while Ludwig reigned was to shoot a peasant a day. He shot peasants working in his garden.

Catherine The Great of Russia imprisoned her hairdresser for three years to stop him spreading the news that she had dandruff.

Queen Juana of Spain went mad when her husband Philip died. She refused to let him be buried and had his coffin accompany her wherever she travelled.

King Fedinand II of Sicily would only allow his face to be used on stamps if franking marks were never placed on his image.

Prince Philip of Calabria was mad about gloves - and wore up to 16 pairs at once.

King Charles VI of France was convinced he was made of glass and refused to travel by coach in case the vibrations caused him to shatter into a thousand pieces.

King Henry Christophe of Northern Haiti forced his guards to prove their loyalty by marching off a 200ft cliff. Those who refused were executed.

Prince Charles of Wales talked to plants and professed a desire to be reincarnated as a sanitary product. Despite being as thick as pig-shit he felt he could tell other people how to educate their children, what types of houses they should live and work in and what foods they should eat. He seemed confused that his proclamations were met with the near-universal derision.

Prince Philip of Edinburgh felt that the best way to advertise his commitment to world wide environmental issues was to be seen as often as possible shooting at domestic wildlife. After Scottish school-children were massacred by a crazed gun-men, Philip proffered the view that a cricket bat was as dangerous as a gun.

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