Welcome to Scam Diego!

So, you're in the Navy or Marines and got stationed here in Scam Diego and think that you would like to make your home here someday? Or maybe, you are a tourist or business transferee scouting out "Paradise" as the local yokels call Scam Diego. Please understand that those already here are really hostile to that idea! In fact, they will do just about anything to discourage you from moving here, but they do want you to leave your tourist (or other) dollars here in Scam Diego. So how do they do it? It's as easy as the Chargers or Padres finishing up in last place! They make sure that they get "useful idiots" elected to public office.

Scratch a politician in Scam Diego and you'll find an underachiever who's below average in every sense of the word. Most people in other parts of the country run for political office as a matter of public service or for the lucrative graft that's available. But those kinds of politicians either serve the public good or at least spread some of the graft around to the less fortunate, as is done in the East or the South.

A Scam Diego politician runs for political office because it's the best job she or he will ever have without having any real marketable job skills. But what job skill would an "average" Scam Diego politician need? He or she must be able to maintain Scam Diego as the nation's premier tourist plantation. The elite in Scam Diego's wealthier communities demands that their privileged lives remain that way. You know, "clean" service industries and a docile, unquestioning workforce who’ll work for peanuts to stay in "Paradise."

The Scam Diego politician is uncommonly corrupt and inept at it too! So without further adieu, here it is fellow citizens, the cavalcade of Scam Diego Political Bad Boys & Girls!

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The Cavalcade of Scam Diego Political Bad Boys & Girls

AUGUST 2003 - POLITICS & BRIBES, OH MY!
In the finest tradition of the ham sandwich, Councilmen Ralph Inzunza, Charles Lewis and Michael Zucchet are indicted by a Grand Jury on bribery and corruption charges. The indictment alleged that the politicos were bribed by a Las Vegas strip club owner to amend a city ordinance banning contact between "exotic dancers" and customers. The law was never changed. It will be more than year before the criminal case reaches trial and ham sandwiches everywhere cry out for justice.

APRIL 2003 – "I'M SO CONFLICTED."
David Malcolm resigns as a San Diego Unified Port District commissioner in January 2002. He pleads guilty to one felony count of conflict of interest related to his “consulting work” for Port District-tenant Duke Energy. He got 120 days in a work-furlough program and had to pay $260,869 in restitution, fines and probation costs. Crime seems to pay--at least to government coffers.

2001 - VOTING UNDER THE INFLUENCE?
San Diego Councilwoman Valerie Stallings resigns after pleading guilty to two misdemeanors. She admits she accepted a series of gifts from Padres owner John Moores, (a friend of Bill Clinton) and the San Diego Padres baseball team while voting on the downtown ballpark project. The haul included: airline tickets for her relatives while she was undergoing cancer treatment, use of a car and vacation home, and a pre-tax profit of $9,391 on stock in a company that Moores headed. A Superior Court judge ruled she had “suffered enough” and did not require a year's probation. This year, a judge set aside her conviction and dismissed the charges against her, as state law allows. Moores’ software company recently emerged from Chapter 11 bankruptcy caused by an accounting scandal. Meanwhile, the new Padres ballpark will open in April 2004. Rumor has it that tickets will be left at the "will call" window for Elvis, but not for Valerie Stallings.

1986 - "IT'S JUST A SLIGHT EATING DISORDER, HONEST!"
San Diego Councilman Uvaldo Martinez resigned after pleading guilty to two felony counts of misusing a city credit card to entertain friends and associates. He was sentenced to 400 hours community service. He was lampooned in a political cartoon as the “Freeload Bandido.” Another Councilman, with a similar eating disorder but with the “right” ethnic background received a slap on the wrist. Martinez was considered a rising Latino star in the Republican party, before his eating disorder surfaced.

1985 - OH PLEASE SHUT UP!
San Diego Mayor Roger Hedgecock resigns after he was convicted of one count of conspiracy and 12 counts of perjury. The charges stemmed from allegations that he financed his 1983 mayoral campaign with more than $300,000 funneled through a political consulting firm. Hedgecock got a year in county custody, a fine and three years' probation. The Cal Supreme Court reverses the perjury convictions and Hedgecock cuts a deal with prosecutors. He pleaded guilty to the felony conspiracy count that was reduced to a misdemeanor and then dismissed in 1991. He served no time in jail. Hedgecock, along with fellow right-wing Watergate felon G. Gordon Liddy (who did do time) is now a successful talk show host. Hedgecock a.k.a. the "radio mayor of Southern California," calls himself a recovering politician and (attorney).

1978 – "OH, THIS? IT'S NOT WORTH THAT MUCH."
San Diego City Councilman Jess Haro pleads guilty to a misdemeanor charge that he lied to federal customs agents about the value of furnishings his Tijuana Company imported to the United States. Haro was considering a rising star Latino Republican until his legal problems. To the shock of no one Haro lost his council seat while in jail.

1970 – TAXI!
San Diego Mayor Frank Curran and seven current or former council members – including two county supervisors and a state assemblyman – were indicted. Most were charged with conspiracy to pervert and obstruct justice and to violate election laws. Most also were charged with taking bribes in exchange for supporting a rate increase for Yellow Cab, which controlled most of the city's taxis. Councilman Allen ("Switch to Hitch") Hitch pleaded no contest to a misdemeanor charge of conspiracy. The other cases ended in acquittal or were dismissed. Curran Plaza at the San Diego City College bears the name of the accused Mayor of Scam Diego. In his subsequent bid for re-election, Curran was defeated by Pete Wilson, (see sidebar story).

Fact Source: SignOnSan Diego.com 08/29/2003, http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/metro/probe/20030829-9999_z1m29scandal.html

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