Points to Ponder

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1. Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?
2. Before they invented drawing boards what did they go back to?
3. Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
4. Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
5. Can your face actually freeze while making ugly faces?
6. Corn oil is made from corn, Olive oil is made from olives, so 
what does baby oil come from?
7. Did Washington just flash a quarter for his ID?
8. Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?
9. Do boxer shorts box?
10. Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
11. Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?
12. Do infants have as much fun in the infancy as adults do in 
their adultery?
13. Do married people live longer than single people do or does 
it just seem longer?
14. Do radioactive have 18-have lives?
15. Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the 
Special Olympics?
16. Do toilet seats really protect us from anything?
17. Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
18. Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
19. Do you think the Assassination Museum was created after 
JFK's assassination?
20. Does a fish get cramps after eating?
21. Does chewing gum lose its flavor on the bed post overnight?
22. Does fuzzy logic tickle?
23. Does the little mermaid wear an algaebra?
24. Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?
25. Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical 
situations?
26. How can someone draw a blank?
27. How can someone walk up hill both ways through 32 feet of 
snow?
28. How can there be self-help groups?
29. How come superman can stop bullets with his chest but he 
always ducks when someone throw a gun at him?
30. How come you never hear about grunted employees?
31. How come you press harder on a remote when you know the 
battery is dead?
32. How did a fool and his money get together?
33. How do I set my laser printer on stun gun?
34. How do they get deer to cross at the yellow sign? 
If it is tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
35. How do they get the cream in the Twinkie?
36. How do they unclog mail chutes in skyscrapers?
37. How do you know when it is time to tune your bagpipes?
38. How do you tell when you are out of invisible ink?
39. How does Kraft get the 5 ounces into every slice of American 
Singles?
40. How does one actually zip their lip?
41. How does the Cheshire cat only show his smile?
42. How does the guy who runs the snowplow get to work in the 
morning?
43. How is it possible to have a civil war?
44. How many licks does it really take to get to the center of a 
tootsie pop? 
45. How many turtle ears does it take to make one can of turtle 
wax? 
46. How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in 
it? 
47. If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are 
there locks on the doors? 
48. If 75% of all accidents occur within 5 miles of home, why 
not move 10 miles away? 
49. If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success? 
50. If a cow laughed would milk come out its nose? 
51. If a man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have 
monkeys and apes? 
52. If a mute swears does his mother was his hands with soap? 
53. If a parsley farmer is sued can the garnish his wages? 
54. If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a 
sound? 
55. If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it 
do the other trees make fun of it? 
56. If a turtle doesn't have a shell is he homeless or naked? 
57. If blind people wear sunglasses why don't deaf people wear 
ear muffs? 
58. If fire fighters fight fires and crime fighters fight crime, 
what do freedom fighters fight? 
59. If it is zero degrees outside today and it is supposed to be 
twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? 
60. If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they get Teflon to 
stick to the pan? 
61. If one synchronized swimmer drowns do the rest have to drown 
too? 
62. If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of 
congress? 
63. If quitters never win, and winners never quit, than who is 
the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead"?
64. If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it 
with? 
65. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation or a murder? 
66. If taught do gorillas really understand sign language? 
67. If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2? 
68. If the cops arrest a mime do they tell him he has the right 
to remain silent? 
69. If the entire world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? 

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