"Brethren and sisters, it is by beholding that we become changed. By dwelling upon the love of God and our Saviour, by contemplating the perfection of the divine character and claiming the righteousness of Christ as ours by faith, we are to be transformed into the same image. Then let us not gather together all the unpleasant pictures—the iniquities and corruptions and disappointments, the evidences of Satan’s power—to hang in the halls of our memory. . . ." 32
“I haven’t heard you singing like
that in many months.”
Grace jumped at the sound of George’s
voice. Turning, she saw him leaning against the door to their
bedroom, watching her thoughtfully. Impulsively, with joy and
forgiveness in her heart, she ran lightly to him, threw her arms
around his neck and smothered his face in kisses, much to his
startled delight.
“Your home early,” she said, still
clinging to him in a fond embrace. Looking up into his handsome
face, she said mischievously, “how was your dinner with Sally?”
George was caught of guard by this sneak
attack so absorbed was he in his wife’s sensuality. “Ah..,”
he stammered.
She smiled at him coquettishly, like a little
school girl, flirting with an older boy with whom she had a crush.
“LuCinda says you and Sally have dinner together every Thursday
and then she lays you. Are you a good lay?”
George went limp and stared down at his
wife, wondering at her attitude, the sparkle of love in her eyes,
the smile that played across her lips, was she setting him up
for the knock out, he wondered uncomprehendingly.
“Honey, your tongue tied. That isn’t
like you.” She wiggled her hips suggestively and pressed
even closer to his body, entwining her arms around his neck and
kissing him again.
“Ah,” George stammered, again
trying to think of something to say and failing. It would be better,
he thought, if she just got angry, cried, screamed, hurled accusations
at him then this loving embrace. He could handle the tears and
anger, but love, he couldn’t comprehend her attitude.
“So, “Grace continued, “is
she better in bed then I am?”
George disengaged his wife’s arms,
and sat on the edge of the bed, a look of bewilderment on his
face.
Grace sat next to him. “Honey, did
you think you could fool me or the children by pretending to work
late every Thursday evening. I’ve suspected that you were
seeing another woman for months, but LuCinda forced me to look
at the possibility this evening. I don’t hate you, honey,
or even despise you. The Lord taught me something very precious
that I will never forget as long as I live. When LuCinda told
me of your adultery, I was so hurt I was ready to kill myself.”
She reached down and retrieved the bottle of Vellum, “Put
this some place where I can’t find it. I never want these
pills again.”
She handed George the bottle. He took it
in silence.
“I was filled with despair and self-hatred.
I felt betrayed, hurt, wounded, my pride was offended. I felt
hopeless and abandoned, then the Lord came very near, put his
loving arms around me, and comforted me. He understands what it
is like to be betrayed, to feel hopeless and full of despair.
He understands, honey, my dearest husband, for He forgave His
enemies. He had compassion for His disciples when they deserted
Him in His hour of need. He showed me that I am a sinner, my sins
are no better or worse then yours. They hurt Him as much as your
adultery hurt me. He suffers every time I sin, every time I disappoint
Him, yet, He freely pardons me. He doesn’t harbor grudges,
but He offers hope, compassion, love, and mercy. He would not
let me kill myself this evening, instead He gave me hope of a
better day. He removed my despair and filled my heart with rejoicing.”
George sat in silent contemplation of his
wife, listening to her words, with a heart humbled to the very
dust, emptied of pride.
“When I saw His unconditional love
for me, a sinner, and realized that I am as guilty as you, yet
He loves me and forgave me, it broke my heart. In the face of
such mercy, how can I hate you or be bitter against you for your
betrayal of our marriage vows.”
Grace paused and George looked into her
face for some sign of disgust, hatred, or revenge, and, finding
only love and mercy, he cautiously ventured a confession.”
“Honey, Ah..., everything you say is
true. I’m sorry. The things I have done,” he paused
again, “the things I have done,” he began slowly then
gathering strength through the grace of the Lord, “I am sure
have hurt you terribly. I am sorry, please forgive me.”
Grace took his face in her hands, caressing
it with love, then brought hers close to his and kissed him again.
“Of course I forgive you. I forgive you for those things
I know about and for those things I don’t know about. I don’t
hate you. I don’t despise you. My love for you is stronger
now then it was yesterday. I am proud to be Mrs. George Ballard,
mother of LuCinda and Billy, wife of George, successful business
man and faithful husband.”
It was like she struck him with her fist.
This last comment stung him to the very marrow of his being. “I’m
not a faithful husband.”
“Honey, when we confess our sins Christ
says He is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and to
cleanse us of all unrighteousness. When God forgives, it is as
if we have never sinned. No matter how terrible the sin, in God’s
sight, the repentant sinner may live as if he or she had never
sinned. This is the result of the unconditional love of God. Through
his compassion and forgiveness, He creates value in the one whom
He loves where before there was no value. He offers freedom from
the slavery of sin by enabling us to confess our sins and obey
Him, He freely pardons all those who call upon Him.”
“Sally and I broke up this evening,”
he ventured tentatively, still thrilled and amazed at his wife’s
reaction. “I couldn’t go through with it any more, ever
since God saved Billy and me from the fire. I understood something
of His love and care. I sat in the parking lot at her apartment
for almost an hour. I couldn’t do it. The Lord showed me
the sinfulness of my behavior.”
For the next several moments, he explained
the circumstances of the evening, his heartfelt repentance, his
tears, his chagrin over Sally’s desire to sever the relationship.”
Grace sat silently, listening to her husband,
her heart thrilled with thankfulness to her heavenly Father for
this sudden and miraculous conversion, hers and his.
“Again, honey, please forgive me, I
will never betray you again.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t
keep,” she admonished. “If I have learned anything this
evening it is that we are preserved from sin not through our own
will power but through the grace of the Lord. Our promises are
as ropes of sand. It is only as we confess our need for the Lord
and our inability to do good, that He preserves and keep us pure.”
“So, tell me,” she continued after
a moment of silence, what does she do that I don’t do?”
George explained for several moments. Grace
looked perplexed, then smiled. “Well, we do have a can of
instant cool whip in the refrigerator, but,” she paused again,
“you know how I feel about oral sex. I won’t change
my mind on that topic, but the others,” she paused again
and then giggled, “it might be interesting to try those things.”
George burst out laughing, impulsively hugged
his wife while they both fell backwards onto the bed in a loving
and forgiving embrace. “But, Mr. Ballard,” she playfully
teased him, “I’m not going to let you off that easily.
I want to go out for supper every Thursday evening at the best
restaurant in town.”
“Agreed,” George said.
Grace suddenly sat up, pulling away from
his embrace, looking thoughtful. “I don’t have a teddy
or stockings.”
“I’ll buy those things for you,”
he promised, playfully grabbing at her again, but she resisted,
still perplexed.
“What is it now,” he asked?
Grace turned to face him with a troubled
look in her eyes. “Dearest, there's something else we need
to talk about.”
They spent the entire evening in conversation.
His repentance was thorough and deep, she saw with satisfaction.
He held nothing back, all the sordid details were aired and examined
carefully in the light of their conversion. They prayed together
for wisdom to know what to do about LuCinda and their marriage.
It was early morning when they finally ceased
talking. They lay together in each others embrace, quieting listening
to a far off train whistle, savoring the moment of forgiveness
and reconciliation. “LuCinda’s going to need counseling,”
George said. “I don’t think I quite understood the full
significance of what I did to her. I have been a lousy father
and husband,” he confessed with bitterness in his voice.
“Remember, the Lord can save unto the
uttermost all who call upon Him,” his wife reminded him.
“That’s true, but I’m not
sure she’s calling on Him.”
She told him of LuCinda’s pregnancy,
of her boyfriend, of her cynicism. “I’m afraid she may
do something rash,” she commented “She is so much like
me, and I tried to kill myself last night.”
“Are you suggesting she may commit
suicide.”
Grace frowned and lay quietly for a moment,
“something like that.”
They both knelt beside their bed and prayed
fervently that the Lord would preserve their daughter from harm
and from her own foolishness. Again, they thanked the Lord for
giving them the gift of repentance and cleansing from sin.
“Remember, honey,” Grace admonished
as they lay together, when we confess our sins, really make confession
and repentance, God gives us grace or power over sin. When you
see Sally this morning, He will strengthen you to maintain a correct
relationship with her. The old urges may be there, but you now
have His power to control them. If you feel lust in your heart,
or if she dresses provocatively, just pray and God will give you
strength to look elsewhere, to turn your thoughts to something
more mundane, like annual reports.”
