March 27,1997
Dear Br. Founder:
When I grew up in the 1950s, the only things I had to worry about were forgetting my school lunch money, being able to hear the Long Ranger on radio, wether my sister or I had to wash or dry the dishes (I preferred to wash, because then I could finish before she did), or wether mother would serve spare ribs and stewed tomatoes for supper, both of which I hated.
Today, children have different things to worry about. Such thoughts
preoccupy little children as wether their mother will stab them
to death while they sleep, being thrown out of an upper window,
looking foolish when you don’t know how to wear a condom,
which drug will give you the desired high, wether you will be
shot while in school by a rival gang, or wether your best friend
is gay or a lesbian.
If children actually survive birth, which many of them don’t,
thanks to abortion, they must then face the real challenge of
learning Dungeons and Dragons, the latest gangster rap songs,
how to wear a condom, how to survive your parents divorce and
which one will “get you” in the settlement.
The biggest insecurity I faced while growing up was the fear of
flying saucers (they actually scared me) and the shadows cast
upon the walls by the night light in my bedroom. But children
today face tremendous insecurities of which we or our parents
were totally ignorant. No longer do they fear nuclear holocaust,
for this fearful calamity sinks into insignificance compared to
wether they can make it on their first date, wether they will
get into collage without cheating, surviving the average school
day, being mugged or raped in the department store, being bitten
by human vampires (yes, this really does happen), or being laughed
at for being a virgin or straight.
Children should not be exposed to such worries or concerns, they
should be innocent of evil for as long as possible. They are entitled
to parents who love and want them, for, after all, they were born
rather then being murdered. They should feel safe from fear, want,
loneliness, unhappiness, the foreboding of impending separation
or divorce, the peer pressure to conform with respect to drugs,
premature sexual expression, violence, nudity, rape, homosexuality,
guns and knives in school and teachers who just don’t care
wether they learn or not.
I pity children growing up today. They have a genuinely difficult
time maturing normally and with a healthy outlook on life. They
are often neglected by their parents, belittled in their own homes
for being odd or having some other less then perfect trait, exposed
to sights and sounds that would terrify full grown adults. They
are often mistreated, denied the basics rights of being loved,
cared for, sympathized with, respected, appreciated, provided
for by their parents: basic human needs that you and I took for
granted when we grow up.
Children are forced to mature far too soon. They are compelled
to fend for themselves scarcely before they are out of diapers
because their parents, who themselves are little less then children,
may play and have a good time without the bother or responsibility
of looking after their kids.
It is no wonder that many adult children are returning home to
live with their parents. Children are propelled into the adult
world without adequate preparation, without sufficient physical,
mental, and social abilities, without adequate opportunity to
learn about life and its many pitfalls. Like sheep, they are cast
among wolves, expected to fend for themselves, then criticized
when they fail or are devoured.
Where does the responsibility for this travesty lie. With the
parents who neglected their responsibility. Since the ‘60s
generation matured and became parents, our society has witnessed
one continuous round of neglected responsibility while many claim
to be victims. Victims of what, I may ask. Victims of their own
neglected obligations, of their own willful and misguided and
perverse philosophies. This latest generation to mature into adults,
no, I can hardly call them adults, they are children in adult’s
bodies, is woefully lacking in personal responsibility and accountability
for themselves and the children they bring into the world.
While I certainly don’t advocate murder (abortion) it would
be better if these adult children did not conceive then to raise
children when they themselves need to learn the first lessons
of adulthood, lessons of love and care, of mercy and tenderness,
of responsibility and obligations to self and others, of self-sacrifice
and selflessness. Better go childless then fail miserably in the
upbringing of our children because we neglected to learn, from
our own parents, the first principals of parenthood, love and
forbearance.
This scenario is not intended to sound dismal and hopeless. All
is not lost, even for the present generation of parents and children.
Christ is ready, willing, and able to supply our lack in practical
ways if we study his word, especially the proverbs, and apply
ourselves diligently to acquiring those parenting skills we neglected
to learn earlier from our parents.
The book of proverbs has sound counsel to parents and children
alike. Paul offers additional counsel in Philippians and John
adds further advise in his first and second letters of John. Parents
should study Christ’s pattern of parents in the lives of
Abraham who commanded his household after him, of Jacob, Isaac,
Moses, and the parents of Jesus Christ. Here is found divine wisdom,
that if followed, will not fail of brining joy and peace and harmony
to the home and the hearts of our children. As parents, or grand
parents, we have a sacred responsibility to our children or grand
children to learn of Christ and his life and love that we may
model His character before our children and redeem the past through
the grace of Christ our Lord.
May the Lord bless you, my dear brother, as I share these thoughts
with you. May he prosper you and bring you safely home to the
eternal haven that He has gone to prepare for you and for me.
Allen A. Benson