March 28,1997
Dear Br. Randy:
God loves you, brother Randy, and desires your best interest and happiness. However, we all must learn the first principals of heaven before we can realize the blessings He freely offers us. I desire to share with you and your wife, some thoughts, about our relationship to Christ, that may or may not apply to you but that you may find interesting. Children are the heritage of the Lord. He loaned them to us for a short season, to train and fashion their characters that they may shine as stars amidst the moral darkness and represent Christ through their chaste conversation and behavior, a tribute to our nurturing as parents. They are our graduation examination, testifying to our faithfulness in following the Lord’s instructions, testifying to all our faithfulness as parents. They do not belong to us, they are not property to be disposed of at will or placed on a shelf and admired as we would admire a cherished heirloom. As good loan officers, to use a modern expression, we are to handle them wisely and with prudence that Christ may receive them back to himself, fully mature in body, mind, and spirit, ready to assume their rightful position in the great plan of redemption for a world lost in sin.
We are not to idolize or neglect our children, neither are they
to rule our homes as petty dictators, but must lean submission
under our gentle and kind guidance and reproof. As they witness
us on our knees, seeking counsel from the Lord through prayer
and Bible study, they recognize that we have their best interests
in mind and are encouraged to trust our guidance, as it originates
from the Lord. This may seem like a foolish or idealistic expectation,
but Christ does not so regard it. Children are often of greater
value, in the sight of heaven, then the President of the United
States, the governor, or your favorite country and western singer.
Christ died for children as much as he died for us, and his salvation
is as freely given to them as to us. When Christ wanted to illustrate
the nature of his kingdom, He placed a little child upon His lap
and offered this child as a fit representation of the character
that is most acceptable to Him. Not that we are to act like little
children with their childish ways, but we are to trust like little
children, to trust in childlike simplicity that our heavenly Father
will provide for our needs. Children should not worry that their
parents can provide for them, but as little puppies or kittens,
having no cares or perplexities, grow up in full confidence that
mother and father will make full and ample provision for their
needs just as our Savior makes full and ample provision for our
needs.
We should regard children as precious in the sight of heaven and
seek to discharge our responsibility to them not just in practical
ways but in love and kindness, generosity and benevolence, teaching
them lessons of Christ that are adapted to their emerging intellect
and interests. We should seek to make home as attractive as possible,
not in material things, for there is far too much show and display
today, but attractive in love and joy, happiness and nurturing,
so that our children would rather stay at home, with mother and
father, then wonder the streets in search of evil to corrupt their
morals and character. As his teachers, we are to faithfully discharge
our duty as long as our children remain under our roof, to instruct
them in the things of God, teaching them from the Bible, lessons
of practical and spiritual significance and usefulness.
We should never forget that we were children and endeavor to treat
our own children as we desired our parents to treat and respect
us. When they make mistakes or disobey, we should correct in love
and discipline in kindness and tenderness, adopting the discipline
to the maturity of the child, never scolding, or criticizing,
humiliating or embarrassing them especially before their friends,
or reprimanding them needlessly. As we desire Christ to treat
us, so we should treat our children or the children that come
within our sphere of influence. God has given us children as a
trust to be returned to him improved in character and morals that
they may in their turn act their part to win others to the Lord.
This is the only reason why God placed children in our care. These
are just some thoughts I wanted to share with you. They may or
may not be applicable to your particular situation. May the Lord
bless you in all that you and your wife undertake. Never forget
that you and I are children of the same Lord, brothers in Christ,
and He desires us to reflect His character that others may be
lead to see Him in our lives.
Allen A. Benson