March 1999

There was a reunion of our antenatal parentcraft group last weekend, and it was lovely to see the babies. I have arranged for us all to meet up once a month - the first meeting being at our house - so that we keep in touch. I have also made a new friend. I am really pleased to know somebody else with a baby the same age as Amber and I am loking forward to meeting up each week. I hope this works out because I don't see any of the people from Matthews Antenatal group, except those I know from elsewhere.

I was invited to go to a breastfeeding workshop with Amber, to talk about my experiences to some expectant mothers. I enjoyed sharing my knowledge, and I really hope that at least one person will be encourgaed to breastfeed after going to that workshop. That was on Matthew's birthday. Amber seemed to be totally happy to be taken into the cinema for Matthew's birthday treat. She stayed quite and slept through most of it. I was supprised as it was quite noisey, but the darkness seemed to settle her. It is lovely to know that we could potentially go and see some more films and take the children with us (albeit only U or PG films!). I really miss going to the pictures.

After changing over to washable nappies, Amber's nappy rash quickly changed from being quite localised and very red, to being widespread but less angry-looking, and from there it has taken a while but for the first time since she was born it has disappeared completely. I am very pleased to be using washable nappies again. They are every bit as easy to use as I remember.

Following Matthew's birthday both children seem to have come down with a cold - although Amber is not really that unwell, it has obviously knocked her out a bit. She must not be able to understand why she is feeling so bad. We have bought some pharmacy controlled cough mixture for her, we are also giving her paracetamol when she gets really upset and to help her sleep at night. Unfortunately she was still really unsettled when we went down south for my sisters 21st birthday party, but she got to meet lots of her relations for the first time anyway!

Amber went for her second lot of DTP injections, and had her 12 week check up: She weighs 11lbs 15oz. She is doing beautifully! Unfortunately though, after being put back in disposables over the weekend whilst we were away, her nappy rash has come back. It seems that the rash has become thrush infected and I have been given some anti-fungal cream to use. I have also used the cream on the dribble-rash she has under her chin, which has now begun to heal. Amber also seems to have a slight bit of eczema, mostly on her elbows. I have used a moisturiser on her skin daily since she was born, as I could see she had quite dry and sensative skin, but I now have a super emoilent cream to use as well.

Amber has taken a turn for the worse. She is now totally unsettled and seems to be crying whenever she is not feeding or sleeping. The cold seems to be getting on top of her and she is getting some really bad coughing fits. After a couple of days of this uncharacteristic behaviour I took her to the doctor to check that there wasn't anything else happening to her, but she was given the all clear, so I guess we just have to sit this out. Amber has had the cold for two weeks now, and she remains totally unsettled: I am begingin to find looking after her demoralising. I have to say that I have been doubting my milk supply, although I can't believe that it has just suddenly run out. I am trying to latch her on as much as possible to stimulate my milk, but we decided to give her a little solid food to see if she would settled down: She took 3 or 4 spoonsful of banana and rice mixture really well. It didn't actually make much difference to her state of mind though.

I am wondering if Amber has just got herself into a vicious circle of feeling rotten, and feeding badly. I am also wondering if she is sufereng from more than just the cold... she actually seems most unsettled of all after a feed, so we tried giving her some infacol to help he if she has tummy ache. This actually seemed to work a little, and she began to be a little more pleasent today. The emoilent cream used twice a day has really improved her skin, so it now looks really shiny and healthy. Of course I still love her dearly, but the last couple of weeks have taken it out of me, and I have found her very hard to cope with.

Finally Amber returned to normal!... its hard to remember how bad she was now, she is so good again, both sleeping and feeding well. I have no idea what went wrong, but I assume it was a combination of things. We end the month with Amber being able to both sit up and stand up for short periods, supported by me. She is smiling lots and laughing - even at verbal "jokes". She has good control over her hands and can reach out and grap something held near to her, she can even put things to her mouth. I have been bathing Matthew and Amber together to speed up the going to bed process, and last night Amber was copying her brother as she was kicking the bath water. First he would kick, then she would join in. It was amazing to watch, it was a definite "social" thing, but also it was a real milestone as Amber had never kicked the bath water before. Amber's BCG has come up into a small purpley-red raised mark on her arm, a bit like a tiny bruise.

Myself...My hair is falling out by the handful which is annoying to say the least, but I am fully recovered from my pregnancy. I am putting on weight with the breastfeeding, just like I did with Matthew. Oh well, at least I know that it is easy enough to loose the weight once you are feeding less. My appetite is huge, and I can make milk to satisfy Amber very quickly by just eating a little and drinking a lot! I have found it is very common to put on weight like this in the first few months of breastfeeding. I have forfitted my right to return to work, we are managing financially at the moment and I am enjoying motherhood. It is still my intention to return to work when I am ready, and I have Amber on a waiting list for nursery, but this way the pressure is off me. I will look for a new job in the summer.