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1999 Back Issues of the Darkovan

Issue #38, 2 January 1999

At Edelweiss

Sources tell us that a wild party is starting to form at Edelweiss, the country estate of one sept of the Lanarts. While Dom Edric Lanart is away with his paramour, his estranged wife, Emelda Lanart-Hastur, has co-opted the premises and is driving the servants mad with her demands.

News from Carcosa

If you visit the Crowing Cock in Carcosa, remember that it refers to a rooster. If the innkeeper wants to show you his cock, he really means barnyard fowl.

In Thendara

Residents in Thendara were awakened to an unusual sight this week. It seems a group of Terranan, celebrating something called "New Year" got drunk and ran naked through the streets shouting and laughing. Medical authorities at the Spaceport report that they were able to keep amputations down to a minimum.

Snow Use

Tourists on a ski holiday near Caer Donn were puzzled and disappointed to find that most of the resorts were closed due to insufficient snow. With only 60 centimeters of hard-packed snow on the ground, the resorts felt there was insufficient snow pack to stay open. Perhaps after we have a real snowstorm, the tourists can come back and see what skiing is supposed to be like.

Enter Laughing?

Neskaya residents were shocked when they spotted Domna Myria of Neskaya Tower and Damisela Mabry Aldaran in a local eatery. The Lady of Neskaya rarely patronizes local businesses and furthermore, other diners swear they saw the great leronis actually smile a few times as Damisela Mabry was talking. Hmmmm....is someone mellowing? And is someone else actually starting to enjoy her time in Neskaya?

Issue #39, 9 January 1999

Deck the Halls

It is with amusement that we hear Lady Cristilyn Aillard punched out Dom Diego Storn at his residence of High Windward. Perhaps the Lady of Valeron should be signed to a professional boxing contract?

Purity Test Results

A certain young couple better be careful or they will fail the new purity test. It seems that they don't know what happens when Darkovans share a meal, a fireside, and a bed! While we approve of their alliance on general principle, most of us would agree that a di catenas arrangement would be much more pleasing.

Crisis at Dalereuth

We fail to believe that the denizens of Dalereuth Tower did not anticipate the laran crisis involving the young girl named Shaya. Perhaps they should spend less time worrying about chocolate, coffee and Terranan blue jeans and spend more time with the proper business of a tower.

Aberration in Arcarran

A Drytowner in Arcarran was shocked when he went to inspect the latest brood of chicks that had hatched. One of the chicks had bright ruby-red feathers. The farmer took this as a sign that he was to discover a new ruby mine and ended up tearing up his entire farmyard before finding out that one of his sons had dyed the chick as a practical joke.

Towering

Poor Domna Myria of Neskaya! It seems that what all of us fear has happened to her--Congratulatia Elhalyn y Ridenow showed up as an unexpected guest! Put in earplugs in case she decides to sing. That should even try the stalwart Myria's patience! Now she has both Mabry Aldaran and Congra under her roof.

Issue #40, 16 January 1999

Three's Company?

A note to those two clowns, James and Bruno, who keep wandering around the Hellers on a wild goose chase: Hey, fellas, isn't there supposed to be a third Stooge?

Lingerie

The Caer Donn branch of Frederick's of Hollywood announced this week that they have sold out of the new line of chastity belts. It seems a major shipment was just made to the area around Dalereuth. It's probably needed.

Lovebirds?

Rumor has it that Lord Serrais and the Lady of Valeron are once again THISCLOSE. I guess old Marci's tomcatting around doesn't bother Domna Cristilyn.

Throw in the Towel

There's a reported shortage of fine toweling from Carthon. Whether this is due to a poor cotton crop or excess showering on the part of many Darkovans, we're not sure. Perhaps it is even due to the sweat that comes from feverish daydreaming.

Valentina Retires

The venerable Valentina n'ha Doria has retired as Oathmother at Thendara House. Now she'll spend her days gumming all the Turkish Delight and not sharing it with the rest of us.

Issue #41, 23 January 1999

In the Caves

A romantic young couple in Corresanti decided to have a tryst in the Caves. It's safe, after all, since the Catpeople left, after all. Or is it? the two of them got lost in all the twists and turns and their bodies weren't found until it was too late. Let this be a lesson to those whose hormones get in the way of their common sense.

To Raphael

Speaking of common sense, we have a word for Raphael Lindir, the Co-Regent of Aldaran. Remember the old proverb: when you lie down with snakes, expect to be bitten. I don't know about all of you, but I wouldn't want to have Marcello Ridenow sheltered by my hearthside.

By God

We hope for caution out there by the Yellow Forest. Invoking a god's name on Darkover is a sure-fired way to have everything go wrong. While Evanda isn't Sharra, I'd be careful if I were you.

Tied Up

What do you get when you combine Frank Barber, a party, and some handcuffs? Do we really want to find out? And is he after Leisha n'ha Ursula or Donal Lanart? Or maybe both? In any case, yuck!

For the Birds

To little Anya Lindir, please take it easy on the messenger birds. We don't have that many in service and if you keep wearing them out with your missives to your brother, we might not have any handy in case of an emergency. And with Regis Di Asturien on the loose...well, you figure out what could happen.

At Daillon

This Dry Town community is in crisis. The main well has gone dry and water must be brought in by caravan. One of the elders packed up his chained wives and traveled by caravan to Shainsa to seek assistance. He was never heard from again. In a related story, a number of Shainsa households have inexplicably gained extra wives recently.

Issue #42, 30 January 1999

Blue Velvet

Jorik Hastur reportedly has had an outfit commissioned out of blue velvet. Tell us, Dom Jorik, did you learn everything you know about fashion from Marcello Ridenow?

Pick a Card, Any Card

Olivia Givens, a Terranan anthropologist who is new to Darkover, has reportedly been flashing her Terranan I.D. card around wherever she goes. Take our word for it, Olivia, most of the people you're meeting don't have the slightest idea what an I.D. card is.

A Strange New Kind of Joy

Now that the Yellow Forest crew has finished their quest, they are heading home. But what exactly did they mean when they talked of experiencing a strange joy? What exactly did that matrix do to them?

No Contest?

Tired of being forgotten, the Guildhouses in Temora and Bellearmes have issued a challenge to their sister houses in Thendara and Dalereuth: Why not start a Renunciate Olympics so that the sisters can compete against each other on the athletic field and thus renew the bonds of Sisterhood?

Ice-Melon Recall

A shipment of contaminated ice-melons has reportedly left Nevarsin for markets around Darkover. Consumers are warned not to eat melon for the next tenday until it is assured that all the contaminated melons have been removed from the shelves.

At Tarquil

Rumors of a talking sheep in the meadows outside Tarquil have proved unfounded. The hoax was apparently created by local merchants who had hoped to increase business by attracting curiosity-seekers to the town. When asked his opinion of the talking sheep, Dom Regis Di Asturien, Regent for the Domain of Aldaran where Tarquil is located, denied ever meeting the sheep or having a personal relationship with it.

Issue #43, 6 February 1999

Dolo a Go Go with JoJo?

At a recent get-together at Edelweiss, Jorik Hastur, Heir to Lord Danvan Hastur, was seen being on intimate terms with Domna Dolorosa Leynier. "Dolo", as she is known to her friends, is a popular socialite and bon vivant. Our reporters saw them kissing and saw Dom Hastur allowing her to fondle him in an intimate fashion. Considering that he is betrothed to Congratulatia Elhalyn y Ridenow and has been linked romantically with Mabry Aldaran, we should not be so shocked at his licentious behavior.

Sugar Pie Honey Bunch

A chieri who accompanied the Yellow Forest gang and returned with them to Edelweiss was spotted wolfing down sugary pastries outside the manor. Curious chieri watchers can't wait to see how Kyrrdis reacts to all those cream puffs and jelly doughnuts.

Midsummer Fun?

Vacationers at Blue Lake found themselves in an unusual situation. While relaxing in the summer sun, they found their campgrounds surrounded by Trailmen. One of the Trailmen was able to communicate with the vacationers, who found out that the "little brothers" were looking for a lost goddess. When they were assured that no one meeting that description was at the campgrounds, the Trailmen left.

A Wedding

We are pleased to hear that the long-delayed nuptuals of Domna Marjorie Ridenow are finally about to happen. Marjo, dear, we all hope you and Derek have a nice time, but remember what happened last time Ivan got near a wedding.

Ruby Tuesday

Recent speculation over the ruby mines in Ardcarran have proved to be based on fact. There has been a major find and all the investors stand to make a small fortune. A spokesman for the Dry Towns consortium which financed the mine said that it is too bad that a certain Head of a Domain reneged on his investment deal, for he could have become independently wealthy.

Double Your Pleasure

It must be something in the water. Domna Fianna tells us that two sets of twins were born at Serrais in recent days. My but those Ridenow are fertile! It's too bad the Domain didn't get into the ruby deal at Ardcarran to pay for all those extra mouths to feed.

Issue #44, 13 February 1999

We've Only Just Begun

Domna Marjorie Ridenow and Dom Derek Tyall invite you to attend their wedding at Dalereuth Tower and the reception to follow at Dalerueth Guild House. The staff at the DI is thrilled for them and wishes them complete happiness.

Close to You

Dom Diego Storn and Domna Fianna Ridenow were spotted in a clandestine embrace in the gardens of Serrais. Hey, Dom Marcello, when the cat's away, the mice will play.

A Song for You

We find it quite amusing that a Terranan aircar pilot (and not a very good one at that) is infatuated with the Keeper of Neskaya so much that he's been going around singing about her. Yeah, like he has a chance of melting that iceberg.

Bless the Beasts and Children

Speaking of Neskaya, what's with the strange combination there? Marcello, Congra, Mabry, Jorik, Myria...it sounds like something we made up in the DI. All it needs are Emelda and Regis!

Yesterday Once More

Rumor has it that Dolorosa Leynier has been cast to play the lead in the latest film version of an Adore Eternally novel. Well, she can't act, but lack of talent never stopped certain comynara from thinking they could have show business careers before. Right, Congra?

Ticket to Ride

We have to wonder why no one, even the residents of Temora, have heard anything about pirates on the Sea of Dalereuth, until Ignaz Hastur showed back up on the scene. Next he's probably going to tell us that the Priestesses on Mormallo are behind the whole thing. Is the pirate issue genuine or is Danvan Hastur being taken for a ride by another of his strange grandchildren?

Issue #45, 20 February 1999

The Man Who Knew Too Much

Certain high-ranking members of the Comyn need to learn to keep things to themselves. Was it really necessary for Lord Serrais to tell the Lady of Neskaya that the Heir of Hastur had a crush on her? You'd think he'd spend more time worrying about the problems that exist within his own Domain.

Vertigo

Frank Barber goes around touting himself as a top-notch aircar pilot but let's look at the facts: He once landed his aricar smack in the middle of the gardens of Serrais. He crashed that same aircar on the way to High Windward with Marcello Ridenow as a passenger. When he got a new car to fly, he promptly landed it on the rosebeds of Syrtis. Now he's crushed a Renunciate wheatfield in Dalereuth. Is it any wonder that the Federation hasn't come looking for him?

The Lady Vanishes

What has happened to Idriel MacAran? Her companion, Gabriel Alton, has been seriously injured and the young MacAran woman has been missing ever since. Shouldn't someone make an effort to find her?

Suspicion

What is going on with Cormel Rockraven and his companions Bruno, James, and Eloise? Why was Cormel kidnapped and how will the matter be resolved? Inquiring minds want to know.

Spellbound

There's no fool like an old fool. Have you seen the way Diego Storn is mooning over Domna Fianna Ridenow? Domna Fi is wise to steer clear, even if the old goat is rich.

The Birds

In many ways, Ivan the Banshee is like a toddler. You'd think by now Daimary MacAran would realize that every minute of his avian life has to be accounted for or he'll get into trouble. By the way, since when to banshees eat wheat?

Psycho

Speaking of Dalereuth, can you image what must have been racing through the minds of those on the emergency flight to save Gabriel Alton's life when they were confronted with a herd of angry Renunciates with weapons in their hands? Folks, this is Darkover, not the area outside an urban Terran ER.

Issue #46, 27 February 1999Stop! In the Name of Love

How long can the denizens of Neskaya Tower keep drooling over each other? It doesn't matter with whom Jorik Hastur has had a relation in the past but that he has fallen deeply in love with Mabry Aldaran and she with him. So leave the lovebirds alone, okay? It's as if the only person in the whole tower with any common sense is little Anya Lindir!

I Hear a Symphony

The first annual Congratulatia Elhalyn y Ridenow Impersonation Contest took place in Thendara this week. Over 40 contestants tried to play Congra. The rules required a musical performance and the winner lip-synched to the sounds of a screeching cat. The audience loved it.

Come See About Me

While on a ski vacation at High Ridge, Dolorosa Leynier fell and broke her ankle. She spent the rest of her holiday in the lodge being courted by hoards of young men anxious to "comfort" her.

You Can't Hurry Love

The Sea Chieri in Dalereuth has always been a wild place, and this week was no exception. A local smith named Lerrys found out that hanging out with the likes of Frank Barber is a good way to damage one's reputation.

Baby Love

Speaking of Dalereuth, isn't it cute how young Kieran keeps mooning over Domna Fianna Ridenow. Actually, we approve of anything that keeps his mind off that creepy father of his.

Reflections

So now Ignaz Hastur has declared himself Admiral of the Fleet. Hey, Iggy, are you counting the toy boats in your bathtub?

My World Is Empty Without You

News from the Dry Towns is that one of the oldest and most dominant males in Shainsa named Istvan died and his women were "distributed" among his heirs. Many of those unfortunate women killed themselves rather than be subjected to the amorous attentions of their new "masters". The DI has to wonder why the Domains continue to tolerate the barbarism of the Dry Towns and why the Federation does not step in and protect the rights of the female citizens trapped there.

You Keep Me Hanging On

Scant rumors are filtering in concerning the disappearance of Idriel MacAran. If this is indeed a kidnapping, perhaps Eduin Alton,Commander of the Guards, should ask for Federation assistance.

Issue #47, 6 March 1999

Wishing and Hoping

A word to Lorina n'ha Kathya: be careful what you wish for--you might get it. You'd think being a half-sister to Emelda Lanart-Hastur would be enough adventure for anybody, but no! If it's adventure you want, we're sure your wish will be granted.

Mistaken Identity?

Doesn't anyone think it's strange that when Diego Storn left St. Valentine-of-the-Snows and told of his parentage, no one doubted him. Then poor Rhysalar comes here a year later from the same place with a similar story and no one believes him? Come on, folks, the guy even looks like an Aldaran! And we suspect that the Ardais family taking a hard line on accepting him has more to do with Domna Marisela's political ambitions than blood ties.

The Darlin' of Arilinn

Don't you just love sweet little Marelie Hastur? All we can to her Keeper, Elorie of Arilinn, is watch out. After all, she is Jorik Hastur's sister!

Ferreting It Out

How appropriate that, Keara, one of the newest of our overabundance of Ridenows, has a pet ferret. Too bad she didn't name it Marcello instead of Nico--don't forget, it is a weasel.

Waiting for Wedding

Don't you love how people wait until the last minute? We've known for many, many tendays that Marjorie Ridenow and Derek Tyall's wedding was coming up. Yet how many of their "friends" have waited until the day before to select a wedding gift for the happy couple? Yeah, yeah, we know--you've been busy.

Boat People

Now that the Admiral of the Feet--oh, sorry, we mean "Fleet"--Ignaz Hastur has returned in his leaky boat, soundly "defeating" pirates, we must applaud his success. The Sea of Dalereuth is now safe for seaweed once again. Too bad they didn't float closer to Mormallo so the priestesses could have their way with them.

Edel-Wise

If either Edric Lanart or Arlinda Darriel had any brains, they would never have approached Edelweiss once they figured out Emelda was there. Of course, how smart is Edric, who let himself get handfasted to Emelda in the first place? And how smart is Arlinda to get herself pregnant by the likes of Edric? The mind reels.

Dilly-Dally-Reuth

Here's the picture: an important member of both the Alton and the Ridnow families is seriously wounded and is in matrix shock. The staff at Dalereuth Tower leaves him unattended. He wakes momentarily and collapses on the floor, all alone. Nice job! Next time you get sick, Gabe, tell them to fly you to Tramontana.

Issue #48, 13 March 1999

Wedding Bell Blues

Just when you think Marcello Ridenow can't sink any lower, he pulls a stunt like this. It seems that the Prince of Pomposity has decided that his own vanity is more important that his responsibility as the Head of his Domain. The very thought that he could abandon Marjorie Ridenow's wedding is repulsive. How long can his Domain tolerate his chronic mismanagement?

Guess Who I Ran Into

Shoppers in Dalereuth were treated to the sight of Domna Fianna Ridenow slamming into Dom Diego Storn on one of the town streets. Hey, you two love birds--was it really an accident?

A Little Bit of Soap

Rumor has it that a prominent Darkovan romance writer has been hired to help script a new soap opera called As Darkover Turns. With all the dirt these programs dig up, we've always wondered if the term "soap" isn't meant to be ironic.

At Temora

Now that the Guild House at Temora is fully operational, we have to wonder how long it will be before that new Renunciate, Gwenneth n'ha Emelda, violates her housebound period. Those of you who remember her in her former life can testify that she's not known for listening to others.

Take No Prisoners

We've just found out that the Admiral in Defeat--oh, sorry, that's "Admiral of the Fleet"--has taken a "prisoner" to Dalereuth Tower for interrogation. Our guess is that it's just some poor pearl fisher who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Tourist Death Ruled Accidental

The death of a tourist in Tarquil has been ruled "accidental". It seems that the man in question was trying to take a "photograph" in a meadow outside town when the flash on his "camera" went off and startled a bull. The animal charged the tourist, killing him instantly. Now you know it--shooting the bull in Tarquil can be dangerous.

Caer Donn Public Library Gets Donation

The largest public library on Darkover has just received the donation of a large collection of books on horticulture, both Darkovan and off-world. Head Librarian Doria Elena Scathfell tells our field agent in Caer Donn that the gardening collection is extensive, numbering hundreds of volumes.

Issue #49, 20 March 1999

Matrix Fails at Neskaya

Ah, modern technology! You can't live with it and you can't live without it. Domna Myria Lanart, Keeper at Neskaya, recently changed master matrices in her tower. The old matrix, affectionately called "Geocities" had provided reliable service for years. Now for the second time since the Keeper converted Neskaya to the infamous "Darkover.org" matrix, it has failed. Well, everyone is entitled to a bad call now and then.

Don't Leave Home Without It?

Terranans Olivia Givens and Alayna Ares are in for a big surprise if thay try to use their Galactic Express credit cards at the shops in Thendara and Caer Donn. Perhaps they might want to sign up for the new Darko-Card being issued by the First Bank of Comyn.

Hanging Out

Did all of Dalereuth need to see Dom Marcello Ridenow strutting around with his fly open? Well, at least no one can accuse him of false advertising now, but we also saw his shortcomings clearly.

Let's Be Frank

It was truly a shock to propriety when we all witnessed Domna Keara Ridenow emerging from an aircar with Frank Barber. No other escort was in sight and it is clear that Domna Keara and Frank had spent a great deal of time "alone". If this were the Hellers instead of Dalereuth, they'd probably be having a wedding before Marjo and Derek managed theirs!

Decked Out

Three cheers for Emelda Lanart-Hastur who used her fists to "abbreviate" some rather lengthy discourses from a group of chatterboxes that she met while on her way to Caer Donn. At least we had a brief relief from the "posts with no end".

What's Cooking?

The wedding feast being prepared for Marjorie Ridenow and Derek Tyall should be memorable. But K'Tara, dear, aren't you supposed to peel the carrots before they're cooked?

Golden Gabe

Friends of Gabe Alton were proud of him for standing up to the Pompous Poppinjay, Marcello Ridenow. It must be the Alton in him! In any case, it was enjoyable seeing Gabe get the upper hand. But do you really think the King of Vanity will give up that easily?

Issue #50, 27 March 1999

Arilinn Is Cool

Rumor has it that the antiquated heating system at Arilinn Tower has failed once again. Even in mid-summer, poor Domna Elorie and her Circle must be chilled. Pile on the blankets, ladies! Lynira, are you sure you want to go there?

Ignored

Alas poor Domna Melitta Hastur who feels as if she is being ignored! Our word to you is to count your blessings, fair lady. When you get the attention of the other denizens of the Comyn is when you find yourself in the midst of scandal. Just ask Domna Keara Ridenow.

Rabbithorn Shortage Hits Dalereuth

No, it is not true. The rabbithorn shortage in Dalereuth is not directly related to the presence of Dom Gabriel Alton y Ridenow. The recent drought in the Plains of Valeron is the real cause.

Frankly My Dear...

The Darkovan Inquirer has acquired copies of the test film used in Dom Diego Storn's aircar on the recent flight from Thendara to Dalereuth. As soon as we figure out how to view the blasted things, we will tell you what they reveal.

Caer Donn Hilton Pleads Innocent

The Caer Donn Hilton denies that it has been employing a forbidden Terranan technology called "satellite dish" to import pornographic programs into the hotel. In related news, hotel occupancy has increased dramatically in recent months.

The (Over) Shadow Knows

The presence of Domna Darerca Storn among the party of travelers headed for Nevarsin has us intrigued. Perhaps one day she'll encounter Marcello Ridenow, overshadow him, and dress him properly for once.

Who's Minding the Books?

Eliadha, dear, they're at it again. Some of your bookstore employees are stealing your profits. You better send an agent to Thendara immediately before the business goes under.

Issue #51, 3 April 1999

Ferret Faucet

Well, we got to view the aircar tapes. Unfortunately, all we could see was a ferret rubbing against the lens of the camera and occasionally urinating in Dom Diego's vehicle.

Wasting Time

There is no further proof of the various ways time is perceived than at Neskaya. Since Domna Myria implemented her strange system for counting the time passed at the Tower, the world there has been at a virtual standstill while the rest of the planet moves on. Perhaps it's just that those of us for whom numbers are a vague concept can't understand how to calculate the hours or perhaps it's just that those at Neskaya have nothing better to do with their time.

Mad Marci

He rants. He raves. He makes a fool out of himself. He accuses the noble Elorie Aillard of being a criminal. He dresses like the court jester. Is it any wonder no one believes any of the accusations Marcello Ridenow is making as he storms around Thendara. Perhaps it is time for that Domain to start looking for a new Head, because the one they have is really messed up.

Dinner with Emelda

Recently, Dom Regis di Asturien, Co-Regent of Aldaran, was spotted dining with Domna Emelda Lanart-Hastur (AKA Adore Eternally) at the Hellers Gourmet in Caer Donn. One can only imaging the course of the conversation. Observers say that the two were engaged in deep conversation during the evening. We hope that is all they were engaged in.

Rabbithorn Report Denied

The Darkovan Rabbithorn Growers Association denies there is any planet-wide shortage of rabbithorn on the market. While there is a localized shortage in the area of Dalereuth, the rest of the planet is well-stocked. Growers attribute the local shortage to the appetite of a certain gentleman attending a wedding in the town.

At Carcosa

Visitors to the Crowing Cock in Carcosa were treated to an unusual sight. A bird that everyone thought was a rooster turned out to be a hen and laid an egg right in the middle of the common room. Furthermore, the egg appeared to be dyed many bright colors and even appeared to be hard-boiled already. A Terranan visitor to the inn reported that the egg's arrival coincided with some sort of religious feast on Terra.

Issue #52, 10 April 1999

Dance, Fools, Dance!

The sight of Dom Diego Storn and Domna Fianna Ridenow burning up the dance floor at the wedding of Marjorie Ridenow and Derek Tyall has us all hot and bothered. Hey, you two! Either cool it down or get a hotel room! (And Dolo, do you dance half as well as your uncle? If so, Jorik's in big trouble!)

At Tramontana

Sweet, poignant, wistful--how else can we describe Aiden Aldaran, the Keeper of Tramontana, as he tries to hide his feelings for Lynira Hastur? We hope the damisela is aware of what happens to male Keepers after matrix work.

Thirst for Justice

We hope Dom Eduin Alton, Commander of the Guards, is not deceived by the transparent words of Marcello Ridenow. But be careful, Dom Eduin! Marci has a habit of crying "torture" to circumvent prosecution for his crimes.

Three on the Town

Olivia, Alayna, and Emelda--will there be any pastry left in Caer Donn after those three get through? A note to the Terran girls: Don't try to match Emelda eclair for eclair. She has the build for it and you don't. Remember, there's a weight allowance for spacecraft and you can't exceed it.

Keeper in the Air

Domna Elorie of Arilinn recently took a flight in an aircar to Tramontana. For some reason, the idea of one of our Keepers flying in a Terranan spacecraft makes us uneasy. While we understand the emergency involved, we hope this does not set precedent for a regular practice.

Summer Storm

A small summer storm struck Thendara this week. Certainly it wasn't anything major. Business in the Old Town and even the Trade City went on as usual. We can't believe that the Terranan thought that snowfall up to their knees was any big deal this time of year. Hey, you're on Darkover, not Vainwal!

Issue #53, 17 April 1999

Under...Where?

What a delight the wedding of Marjorie Ridenow and Derek Tyall was. And those gifts! A summer cottage! A carving! Elaborate genealogies! Beautiful handicrafts! Hawks! Underwear! We heard that the Victoria's Secret outlet in Caer Donn had to restock after all the gift buying.

Terra-Form

So Emelda Lanart-Hastur is heading for Terra. April in Paris will never be the same. We hope that they've stocked up on pastries.

Aching Aiden

Poor Dom Aiden of Tramontana! Imagine having the lovely Lynira Hastur so close and yet so unattainable. What is a Keeper to do?

Romance Abounds

The rumor mill at Dalereuth tells us that Dom Diego Storn proposed to Domna Fianna Ridenow at the wedding at Dalereuth and that she has accepted. Their friends are already murmuring about the difficulty getting permission for a di catenas wedding. After all, Lord Serrais does not look kindly on Dom Storn. We like to think, though, that true love will prevail.

Ardais Will Come

Things are really heating up in Ardais. It seems that Rhysalar, young man claiming to be a scion of that House, is also claiming the right to the Domain. Considering how well Domna Marisella Hastur y Ardais has run the Domain, we can't fathom how Comyn Council would even dream of removing her as Head.

Ghostbusters

It is not often that spirits of the dead visit us from the Overworld. While all of us acknowledge that it has happened before, you can imagine what a shock it was for Darerca Storn to see the specter of her murdered sister Elise, late Keeper of Tramontana. Perhaps justice will finally be done soon.

By Terranan reckoning, it has been one year since the Darkovan Inquirer went into regular production. Happy Anniversary to us!

Issue #54, 24 April 1999 was destroyed in a fire at the DI office.

Issue #55, 1 May 1999

Whipped

Frank Barber, a Terranan pilot currently in the employ of Dom Diego Storn, has caused an uproar in Storn Heights, where he has taken an apartment. It seems the neighbors are already getting tired of hearing chains rattle and whips crack in the middle of the night.

Maybe Mabry

Sentiment is growing in Aldaran to end regency government and to make Mabry Aldaran more than just a titular head. Even if this comes to pass, it is a certainty that the damisela will need at least one of her current administrators to help her oversee what has become Darkover�s most vibrant Domain.

Ya-Men Protest

Senior officials among the Federation offices in Thendara were shocked to find a Ya-men protest outside the port. While it is never easy to understand Ya-men, it seems that they are claiming one of their young was abducted by Terranan. Just when and where this took place is not certain, and no one in the Federation seems to know what might have become of this child.

Serrais Solitude

One must indeed pity poor Domna Callista Ridenow, who has been stuck managing Serrais in the absence of Dom Marcello Ridenow who is under investigation in Thendara for high crimes and misdemeanors. Now that Domna Fianna Ridenow has gone to Tramontana instead of returning home, it is all but sure that Domna Callista will continue to bear the burden of the Domain�s management.

Pearl Harvest Poor

Pearl distributors in Temora report that the pearl harvest is off by almost 20% from last year. Fishers in the area blame unnecessary marine travel over the pearl beds as the major reason. In the wake of the bad economic news, many of the pearl distributors are laying off their work forces, which spells disaster for Temora�s overall well-being.

Do the Congra

Aging sexpot Congratulatia Elhalyn finds herself in many unusual positions. But the other day, in an upscale restaurant in Thendara, she was standing next to some women who were substantially younger than Congra pretends to be. The contrast was striking. We guess it�s time for another Vainwal face lift. How many has that been now, Congra?

Issue #56, 8 May 1999Burn Baby Burn!

Disaster struck the offices of the Darkovan Inquirer at midweek. While no one was injured and the paper was able to come out as scheduled, part of our archived back issues were burned. The cause of the fire was undetermined, although arson is suspected. Fortunately, thanks to a grant from the Lady of Aldaran, we were able to replace most of the lost text.

Revolving Door at Aldaran?

Speaking of Aldaran, rumor has it that both of the co-Regents in Aldaran are cracking from the strain of running Darkover�s most vibrant Domain. If the bureaucracy breaks down, will the economic miracle that has been Aldaran in recent months come to an end?

Quake Hits in the South

Residents of Dalereuth and Temora were apprehensive as a major quake hit the region. In Dalereuth, damages seem to be minimal�lots of broken glass and items knocked off shelves. No official reports have been received from Temora, but we expect a heavy death toll from the quake itself and the subsequent tsunami.

What Dreams May Come

Someone needs to install telepathic dampers at Tramontana. Did anybody who is sensitive to telepathic signals get any sleep the other night? Lynira, Fianna, while we must all have dreams, can�t you two keep yours to yourself?

The Shainsa Shuffle

A dangerous form of dysentery has hit Shainsa and in a town where water is a precious commodity, the disease is particularly hazardous. Nevertheless, the Drytown males have refused to ask for help outside their community, ignoring the deaths of the elderly and the infants.

Not Sweet Enough?

Thendara is in the midst of a sugar shortage. For a long time, Darkovans have been relying on Terranan refined sugar and now the supply has grown scarce. Some speculate that this is the reason Leisha n�ha Ursula has taken an extended vacation from the Sweet Shop. Perhaps this will teach all of us to value our indigenous food sources and stop relying on imported goods.

Issue #57, 15 May 1999

Temora Death Toll Climbs

Horror-filled survivors of Temora are finding destruction everywhere they look. Preliminary reports show the death toll reaching 200. All of the pearl beds have been destroyed, which means that the economic recovery afterward will be long and hard. Our sympathies go out to the Temorans and their families. May Avarra watch out for the souls of the dead.

Bad Taste

Well, we�ve always mistrusted that fellow who calls himself Rhysalar Ardais. Now he�s walking around with "Tuna-breath". Apparently he was never told as a child "Don�t put anything in your mouth unless you know where it�s been."

Fire Destroys Parts of Dalereuth

Dalereuth Tower, so recently the scene of joy at the marriage of Marjo and Derek, was partially destroyed by a fire caused when the earthquake upended a stove in the kitchen. We currently have no estimate about the extent of the damage or if anyone was injured.

A Note to the Young People of Thendara

The offices of the Darkovan Inquirer are a place of business. While we appreciate the enthusiasm for our facility that some young people have shown in recent days, there are more appropriate places for you to be spending your time.

Ardcarran Ruby Strike Expands

Miners at Ardcarran have made yet another major discovery of gem-quality ruby crystals. All of those who invested in the venture stand to have wealth beyond their wildest dreams. And don�t you feel sorry for a certain someone who had a chance to invest but missed out because he betrayed the Dry Towner who was acting as the mining company�s agent?

At High Windward

If long-time bachelor like Diego Storn can have three beautiful young single women living in his castle, certainly there is hope for the rest of us. Better watch that the old goat doesn�t stray, Fianna! And can you imagine the lessons young Kieran is going to learn growing up in a castle full of damsels?

The Keeper�s Price

While we find it reassuring that Elorie of Arilinn is returning to her Tower, the news that the Admiral of the Feet (oops! we mean "Fleet") is heading her way makes us wonder if she�d be better off vacationing with Aidan Aldaran at Tramontana.

Issue #58, 22 May 1999

Dalereuth Damages Assessed

Survivors of the catastrophic earthquake and its aftereffects in Dalereuth report that it could have been worse. We must caution the rescue workers to take care of themselves and not let exhaustion make them victims as well. Among the Renunciates who sprang to the Tower�s defense, Sorcha n�ha Raffella and Valeria n�ha Lucilla looked particularly weary. Daimary� poor Ivan is distraught�He thinks the whole shaking thing was his fault.

Beware of Geeks Bearing Gifts

The much-vaunted security system at High Windward and Storn Heights has a breech. It seems that a certain Terranan aircar pilot is showing the treacherous behavior typical of his kind by betraying his long-standing benefactor.

The Brat Factor

Picture it: Dolorosa Leynier and Mabry Aldaran traipsing all over Thendara with little Anya Lindir in tow. Will the city ever be the same?

News from Emelda

Fans of Adore Eternally�s novels that her latest effort, Keeper Madness plan to wait in long lines outside Eliadha�s when the new book goes on sale this week. Advanced reviews indicate it is Adore�s juiciest novel yet and we�re sure that some of the residents of certain Towers will find that it hits very close to home.

Kireseth Confection a Hit

Word in the intergalactic candy market is that Leisha�s new kireseth chewing gum is a smash hit all over the galaxy. Supply cannot keep up with demand, so much that all of the employees at Leisha�s Sweet Shop are putting in double shifts In fact, they are nicknaming it Leisha�s Sweatshop. Sources close to Leisha n�ha Ursula tell us that her time is so in demand that she rarely if ever gets out of her office any more.

Strike at Port Chicago

Federation workers walked off the job at Port Chicago yesterday after they learned they would be forced to carry a copy of Strunk & White with them at all times. When one worker quipped that they should be using the Chicago Manual of Style instead, John Cowan reportedly fired her on the spot.

Issue #59, 29 May 1999

Gwenneth n�ha Emelda Dead

Word has reached us that Gwenneth n�ha Emelda, once known as Gwenneth Lanart-Hastur, has perished during the calamity in Temora. Once the heir to Edelweiss, she renounced her heritage recently and joined the Renunciates. Her mother, Emelda Lanart-Hastur, is currently off-planet and could not be reached for comment. Her father, Edric Lanart-Hastur, was too grief-stricken to speak to us.

Tower Power

Over the past season, the Darkovan Inquirer staff has been studying the quality of the training in our Towers, ranking them for effectiveness. While impressed by the instruction at Arilinn and Dalereuth in particular, our panel has selected Tramontana as Tower of the Year for developing its effective and efficient program over such a relatively short period of time. Congratulations to Dom Aidan Aldaran! Certainly all who have laran-gifted children should feel comfortable in sending them for training at the aforementioned facilities.

Banshee Express Shows Profit

Banshee Express Courier Service has shown extraordinary economic strength over the last quarter. While both figuratively and literally a high-risk venture, B-E has proven itself in the marketplace as filling a viable niche on Darkover.

Forge Is Disturbed

Shocked residents of the Hellers community of Storn Heights discovered that the ancient forge of Sharra, shrine of the forge folk for millennia, has recently been violated by parties unknown. Animal blood on the forge suggests a sacrifice ritual has taken place recently.

Marci Strikes Again

Tongues were wagging in Thendara as Marcello Ridenow had an intimate afternoon with Ylana Alton. Do you really believe Lord Serrais and the Lady of Armida were merely sipping tea and passing pleasant conversation?

Why the Delay?

Goodness knows this newspaper has never been a big fan of Comyn Council meetings. We have to wonder, though, why there have been so many delays in the start of the season. Certainly there are many serious issues that need to be resolved planet-wide. Perhaps now is the time to abolish Darkover�s feudal system and institute a true representative government.

Issue #60, 5 June 1999

His Cup of Tea?

There is absolutely no truth to the rumor that Dom Marcello Ridenow�s afternoon "tea time" with Domna Ylana Alton involved a marriage proposal. Instead, what reallyhappened is that these two spoiled aristocrats wasted an afternoon discussing the merits of Terranan teas.

Tip the Barber

Can you believe it? Bumbling Frank Barber is actually a high-powered special agent with the Intergalactic Bureau of Investigation? Next they�ll probably be telling us that Congratulatia Elhalyn y Ridenow is a virgin.

Lighting Up Caer Donn

A new hydroelectric plant was recently completed near High Kimbi. Much of downtown Caer Donn has been wired into the system and the business district literally glows during the evening. While some conservative factors disapprove of this Terranan technology, there is evidence that our ancient ancestors did not hesitate to harness water power in the days before matrix science reached its peak just before the Ages of Chaos.

Speaking of the Ages of Chaos�

Council, we�ve heard, will start again soon. As an ancient Terranan once said, before long we will hear the "nattering nabobs of negativism" in their prime. Instead of solving real problems in areas such as the relief efforts in Temora, they will be debating whether couples who are in love may marry.

Stone Cold

Officials at Thendara spaceport just apprehended a pair of "cultural thieves" who were attempting to ship some ancient stone carvings off the planet. Apparently these "government archaeologists" broke off some stone reliefs from the rhu fead with the plan to sell them as curiosities on Terra. Embarrassed Federation officials have pledged funds to repair the rhu fead and apologized profusely

Eye Popping Beauty

Life in the Hellers certainly agrees with Domna Fianna Ridenow. Those who witnessed her arrival for the grand party planned for Storn Suites just before Council declared that she was so radiantly lovely, their eyes nearly fell out of their sockets. Many an observer reported getting glassy-eyed watching her as she entered the castle.

Issue #61, 12 June 1999

Crazy Is as Crazy Does

If it were an Elhalyn, it wouldn�t surprise us. Even if it were an Ardais, we would only be a little shocked. But the rumor that a Ridenow, and the Head of the Domain at that, has gone completely insane has shocked many of us. Even the "Marci Watchers" on the DI staff were surprised as to the depths of madness that Marcello Ridenow was reported to display recently at Storn Suite. How sad for all the Ridenows and for Comyn as a whole to have someone in leave of his faculties in charge of their Domain; we hope the rumor is not true.

The Lawyers Are Coming!

Like a plague of locusts, lawyers have descended upon Thendara. It seems that they heard of a juicy lawsuit in which a wealthy man from the Hellers is planning on suing some of the Comyn for defamation of character, false arrest, false imprisonment, slander, and a whole array of other annoying things. Up until now, Thendara has been a pleasant place to be. But all this talk of warrants and house arrest has attracted this nuisance into the city. Shame on all of you who brought this about.

Scandalous Behavior

Rumor has it that a young Comyn lord has been cheating on his pregnant wife. While an upright citizen on the outside, he has been leading a double life of late. How shamed his friends and family would be if they learned the truth!

Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction

We here at the DI have trouble believing it too, but it is true: Frank Barber has been named Interim Planetary Administrator. We�re told that Barber�s behavior of late was just a cover, but we have to wonder if the Federation Administrative Offices will be decorated with whips and chains.

Justice Must Prevail

Don�t you find it ironic that when noted terrorist and wanted criminal Amanda Montpelier is practically dropped into his lap, Dom Eduin Alton ignores her and arrests Dom Diego Storn? We�ve heard that the wheels of justice creak slowly, but we guess in Comyn Castle they roll backwards.

Avalanche

Early reports have just come in that an avalanche has occurred just outside of Snow Glen in Asturias. Reports tell us that all the casualties were Terranan tourists and that the town of Snow Glen itself was untouched.

Issue #62a, 19 June 1999

Late Breaking News

News has reached our offices that Dom Marcello Ridenow, Lord Serrais, has collapsed and died of natural causes in his suites at Comyn Castle.

Honeymoon Sweet

Friends of Marjorie Ridenow and her new husband, Derek Tyall, were thrilled to receive a letter from them sent from their honeymoon spot on Relegan. Marjo, dear, how did you ever find the time to write? Or has Derek finally taken a rest?

Fashion Emergency Averted

Praise Aldones! Young Dyan has been rescued from fashion hell. Now that Dolorosa Leynier has him well in hand, we hope she can undo the retarded fashion sense that his Uncle Marcello has imposed on him. Hmmm�can you imagine what would happen if romance bloomed between these two? Marcello�s nephew and Diego�s niece? The mind reels.

Sharra Share Alike

While reports of Sharra sightings have been going on for generations, there has been an upswing in cases coming out of the Hellers recently. Many of these new sightings are coming from what we would regard as stable, reliable sources and seem to center in the Hellers between Storn Heights and Caer Donn. The Darkovan Inquirer will keep you informed of any further developments regarding this strange phenomenon.

Putting a Damper On Things

We almost have to laugh that some people among the Comyn, including some high officials and Tower staff, were not only surprised to learn that the Terranan were in possession of psychic dampers but that they even knew about them! Come on, folks, the Terranan are many things but they are not as ignorant of our ways as you seem to believe. The Terranan have known about the dampers since the days of the legendary Magda Lorne and (surprise!) are quite cognizant of the principles of matrix technology.

Society Meets

The Forbidden Tower Historical Society held its annual meeting at Heathwine last week. Members of the society tried to arrange a tour of Armida but were refused. The group, which is dedicated to preserving the historical legacy of the Forbidden Tower and its members, actively pursues memorabilia related to this remarkable episode in Darkovan history.

Heliotropes Take First Place At Garden Club Show

The Thendara Garden Club�s Annual Flower Show was a tremendous success. More entries were recorded this year than in any other on record. Surprisingly, the Best of Show winner went to Emelda Lanart-Hastur. Even though Domna Emelda is currently off-planet, heliotropes from her garden at Edelweiss were entered for her by her house staff. Despite protests from other heliotrope growers, the rules do not specify that the winner be present to have his or her flowers selected for prizes.

To Our Readers

The Darkovan Inquirer will not be published next week so that our staff can enjoy a well-deserved vacation. We will return to regular publication the following week. Thank you for your continued readership.

Issue #63, 3 July 1999

Death Becomes Him

In the aftermath of the unexpected death of Marcello Ridenow, Lord Serrais, all of Thendara is in an uproar. What to wear? What to say? The real impact can be seen in the offices of the DI, where the three reporters assigned to cover the "Marci Beat" have received termination notices.

Kidnapper Foiled

Notorious criminal Alaric MacDoevid attempted to kidnap the beloved Fianna Ridenow recently. While it initially appeared to be a successful crime, the plucky Domna Fianna managed to deliver a swift kick to Alaric�s crotch and then made her escape.

Conn-tinued

How delighted we all were to see Conn MacAran back in the swirl of society! We�re sure there are many tales to tell about what that dashing young man was doing during his extended absence. Perhaps his sister Daimary can get the truth out of him.

Gift of Gab?

Could it be true? Is it possible Gabriel Alton y Ridenow is planning a return to Darkover? Certainly such news would be joyous yet bittersweet to his family in light of Dom Marcello�s demise.

One for the Books

We hear that when Eliadha made an unannounced inspection of her bookstore in Dalereuth, heads almost literally started to roll. It seems the employees weren�t expecting the "boss" and were sitting around drinking firi. After the tongue-lashing they got, we�re sure they won�t make that mistake again.

Lake Hali Littered

To the folks who made a recent excursion to Lake Hali and left their trash behind, we have something to say. This is not Terra or even Vainwal. When you are finished with what you are eating, remember that the sacred grounds of Hali were never meant to be a garbage dump. Can you believe one of our reporters actually found an empty raivannin bottle lying on the ground?

Issue #64, 10 July 1999

Comyn Through the Rye

Don�t you love the irony? Some people are acting as if it is a pleasureto attend Council. If the Terran Sub-Legate John Cowan wishes to attend, we say let him. Perhaps then there will be some intelligent discussion at Council and less yammering. Well, we can dream, can�t we?

Oooh, That Smell!

Excuse us, but would someone please bury the hoary corpse of Dom Marcello Ridenow? It is still summer and the state of embalming on Darkover is not very good. Poor Marci! One of the advantages of dying young is to leave a good-looking corpse but now the delays have taken that away from him.

Emelda Writes

We at the The Darkovan Inquirer have just received a note from Domna Emelda Lanart-Hastur who is currently living among the Darkovan exile community on Terra. She tells us that all is going well with her writing contract and that she has met someone wonderful and plans to bring him with her to Darkover when she returns at Midwinter.

Kyrri on Strike

The United Kyrri of Darkover have staged their first strike in history. The hypercharged servants demand equal rights as a sentient species on Darkover. Rumor has it that the Catpeople, the Trailmen and the Ya-Men are planning on joining the Kyrri in petitioning the Federation for recognition and for financial compensation for the loss of the planet to the human invaders after Landfall. It is highly unlikely that the Chieri will join the other species in their petition.

Dull-ereuth

Well, Dom Piedro Aillard is off on another one of his epic vacations and things have gotten dull among certain social circles in Dalereuth. We can only hope he stays away from those sea chieri on the beach this year.

Turnip Turned UpA farmer near Tarquil has grown an enormous turnip the size of a chervine calf. When asked how he got the root to grow so large, he reportedly said that he�s been composting with used copies of the Darkovan Inquirer. We knew that our writing was worth something!

Issue #65, 17 July 1999Enemies List

The scuttlebutt is that Congratulatia Elhalyn y Ridenow is planning to wreak vengeance on everyone on her "enemies list". We have to wonder, will anybody be left in Thendara after she�s done?

Preservationists Rally

The Darkovan Preservation Society held a rally in Corandolis over the past weekend. The group�s aim is to save historically significant architecture in the Seven Domains. While great strides have been made recently to restore Corandolis Tower, the village of Corandolis is abandoned and its buildings are crumbling. The group hopes to begin work on saving the village as soon as it collects sufficient funds to do so. Much to their surprise, their appeal to wealthy businessman Diego Storn has been turned down.

Live and Let Die

As funeral arrangements for Dom Marcello Ridenow continue to creep along, we have to wonder who is going to step in and replace him as Domain Head. We hope whoever takes the role will be a snappy dresser!

High and Dry

The drought which has been plaguing the Dry Towns over the past few seasons continues to grow more severe. In Carthon, attempts to divert more water from the Kadarin have met with opposition from communities downstream. In Shainsa, reports tell us of households getting rid of their excess women and children because there is not enough water to go around. In Ardcarran, the ruby industry is at a standstill because there is insufficient water to work the grinding and cutting wheels.

How Sweet It Is

Leisha�s Sweet Shop has just unveiled its latest line of candies. Capitalizing on the recent death of Marcello Ridenow, these green and gold confections are filled with dark chocolate fudge and nuts.

Cadets Coming

The new cadet season is about to commence. It always gratifies us when these undisciplined young boys come to the Guard Hall and leave as responsible young citizens. At least this year they won�t have to contend with a certain middle-aged comynara spying on them while they shower.

Issue #66, 24 July 1999

Paint It Black

Aw, come on, folks�cheer up! Marcello Ridenow�s funeral should be a time of celebration, not mourning. Just think of how much chocolate will be left for the rest of us now. Besides, they�re going to Hali, and you just know how much fun it is there.

Carcosa Prepares

Innkeepers in Carcosa are preparing for an onslaught of visitors accompanying Marci�s funeral cortege. The Crowing Cock in particular plans a big crowd hand hopes to show off its collection of chicken memorabilia. The one hundredth visitor to the inn this tenday will receive a ceramic chicken figurine�Yes! Someone is going to get "the bird"!

Horse Sense

Despite the official mourning period for Dom Marcello Ridenow, the annual horse show at Armida is scheduled to take place as usual. The Alton family is to be congratulated, for it is important for the everyday folks in the Domains to have their lives go on as usual. Not to have the horse show would adversely affect the morale of the community.

Rare Form of Laran Studied

Apparently another variation of laran has been identified by a researcher at Corandolis Tower. It seems that someone in the Domains has reported symptoms of a reverse "Storn Gift", which seems to open up the laran-gifted person to being overshadowed. The tower staff would not release the name of the individual who is demonstrating this laran.

Cormel Center

One can only hope that those intent on bringing Dom Cormel Rockraven back to society will succeed soon. With Dom Marcello dead, who else can we look to as the paragon of male fashion sense among the Comyn? (Sorry Dom Dyan, but you�re just a bit too young to qualify)

Issue #67, 31 July 1999

Vacancies

The Discover Darkover! Travel Agency tells us that many more Darkovans are traveling off-planet now than ever before. Is this because of increased prosperity in the Domains, thus leading to more leisure time, or too many people are escaping the strain of living under the Bloody Sun.

Horse Tails

As young Mikhail and Robie Di Asturien go on their quest of finding Cormel Rockraven, they have been musing that even their horses see more romance than they. Boys�boys! Don�t go comparing yourselves to stallions. It�s bound to lead to disappointment.

To the Dogs

A recent Long Ship arrived at Thendara with a cargo of canine breeding stock. While the members of the Thendara Kennel Club were thrilled, their thrill turned to dismay when they discovered that Terrranan flea eggs had survived on the coats of some of the imported dogs and had gotten into their carpets at home. Now many of our dog-loving Comyn are going to be scratching themselves all through the funeral ceremonies for Marcello Ridenow.

At Caer Donn

The Caer Donn Hilton reports a recent spree of Terranan checking into the hotel and leaving before they paid their bills. The manager assures us that one more incident such as this and all Terranan seeking a room will be asked to pay in advance.

In Stitches

Tailors on Threadneedle Street are complaining about low supplies of black spidersilk cloth. It seems that the funereal atmosphere which has surrounded Thendara recently has led to black being the color of choice among the fashionable.

Cake

Watch those waistlines, folks! With so much cake and kireseth liqueur getting passed around lately, nobody�s going to be able to get into those fancy funeral clothes you�ve all been buying!

Issue #68, 7 August 1999

Pea Foul

We are perplexed by the recent fad that has emerged among young Darkovans of wearing a peacock emblem on their lapels. The fad seems especially prominent in Thendara and Serrais. Ah, the folly of youth!

Temora

In an effort to recover from the economic devastation of the recent earthquake and tsunami, the town elders are developing a plan to revitalize Temora's economy. In addition to restoring the pearl beds, plans are underway to build a seaside resort hotel and to attract tourists from off-world. The problem is, how will they get there?

Carthon

Rumor has it that Terranan archaeologists in Carthon uncovered an ancient sword which they originally thought was the fabled Sword of Aldones. Instead, they found a strange imprint on the side of the sabre which read "Lucasfilms". What it is and where it came from no one knows.

A Sad Welcome Home

While we are overjoyed to see the Tyall newlyweds back home, it is sad that they had to cut their honeymoon short to come to a funeral. In any case, Thendara will be a brighter place with Marjo and Derek there.

Stop the Rumors!

There is absolutely no truth to the rumor that all clocks and watches on the planet came to a halt at the moment of Marcello Ridenow's death. Albeit slowly, even on Darkover, time marches on!.

Mormallo

The Priestesses of Avarra on Mormallo have issued the following statement: "The Death of Lord Serrais grieves us all. He was a noble man who aided us in our time of need. May all honor his memory forever."

Issue #69, 14 August 1999

Another Proofreader Executed

Following its policy of zero tolerance for typographical errors, the publishers of The Darkovan Inquirer have executed another failed apprentice after finding 3 errors in the last week�s edition. If you know of a young person looking for a job, please contact our main office in Thendara.

Cormel Center

The hunt for the missing Cormel Rockraven appears to be drawing to a close. We can only hope that the situation will resolve itself peacefully and than Dom Rockraven will once again take his place in the Thendara social swirl.

Monument Desecrated

Horrified residents of Caer Donn woke one day this week to find that the monument to those who were lost in the Sharra Rebellion two centuries ago had been desecrated. Parties unknown splashed red paint on it as well as on other landmarks in the city. When they are apprehended, they will be severely punished.

Marcello Cult Persists

The growing cult who worship the late Marcello Ridenow continues to grow. Rumors are now circulating that Lord Serrais transcended death and that the Sacred Four have lifted him into their pantheon. Our sources tell us that the Priestesses of Avarra on Mormallo are behind the cult�s growth.

News from Terra

Some puzzling news has reached us from our sources on Terra. Apparently, a book dealer who specializes in Darkovan items there has had a rare book stolen, the history of Darkover�s Ya-Men. It was one of only four copies known to exist, and one of only two that are off-planet. We have to wonder why anybody on Terra would be interested in the Ya-Men.

Issue #70, 21 August 1999

Cracked

Poor Robie Di Asturien. While one might expect that a young man in love may have a bleeding heart, cracking open one�s head is not a usual procedure. Or perhaps Moirra MacAran is attracted to the color red?

Bizarre

Let�s face it: Diego Storn has never been the model of emotional stability but his latest actions have been bizarre even for him. First he uses his left hand, then his right. He starts to say one thing and then moves into another direction. Apparently, he�s taking Marcello�s death harder than we expected.

Touching

How warm and wonderful it was to see Dom Jorik Hastur and Damisela Mabry Aldaran together. Such a handsome couple�what beautiful children they will have! As an ancient Terranan writer once wrote, "What blood! What beauty!" [Bonus points to any of our readers who can identify the source of the quote]

Dyan Inside

Young Dyan Ridenow seems to be maturing almost overnight. He has been a pillar of support for his Aunt Fianna Ridenow during the funeral cortege. If only he didn�t have his Uncle Marci�s sense of style!

Tea for Tula

Franchise agents for a Terranan beverage distributor are planning to contact Congratulatia Elhalyn y Ridenow, anxious to buy her secret tea formula. It seems a servant at Storn Suites in Comyn Castle smuggled out a sample of the tea that had been sent to Diego Storn. The corporate executives loved it and are convinced it will become an intergalactic favorite. In other news, there is absolutely no truth to the rumor that the Coca-Cola Company plans to open a bottling plant in the Dry Towns.

Finding the Whey

A note to Becca n�ha Kyntha: Next time you decide to cut the cheese, don�t do it in front of the Terranan. Many of them consider it rude.

Issue #71, 28 August 1999

Scandal at Terran HQ

Planetary Administrator Francis Alonzo Barber was found in a drunken stupor in his office in Thendara. Officials say that while many of his co-workers suspected that Barber had a problem with alcohol, they were shocked to see the man upon whom so many lives depend in such a state of drunkenness. No word yet as to whether Barber will keep his job.

Hali High

As the Comyn gathered to lay Marcello Ridenow to rest, some folks noticed what appeared to be a flash of light, a popping noise, and a puff of smoke in the distance. Leave it to Marci to go out with a bang!

Winging It

We have learned that there is a new fad developing among the young people near Dalereuth. It appears that they are "body surfing" down wet hillsides. Not only is this unseemly, but it is dangerous. Someone could break and arm or even a collarbone!

They�re Baaaaack!

Residents of Thendara were uneasy when they saw three of the Priestesses of Avarra on the streets of the city this week. Many of us remember the days when the Priestesses knocked on our doors to preach and made a general nuisance out of themselves. We hope that their appearance in Thendara is not an indication that they plan to resume their activities.

Danvan Done?

Notably absent from the recent funeral services at Hali was Dom Danvan Hastur. If Hastur of Hastur is too enfeebled to attend the burial of a high-ranking Comyn Lord, then perhaps the issue of Dom Jorik�s proposed regency needs to be raised once again.

Issue #72, 4 September 1999

Dreams

Someone should tell poor Moirra MacAran that what might seem to be the man of her dreams may indeed be the man of her nightmares!

A Moving Story

It has recently been noted that Carcosa seems to have migrated to a position between Thendara and Hali. No wonder Darkovan cartographers have nervous breakdowns! Instead of worrying, they should just go to the Crowning Cock and have a beer.

Cubed

We�ve been informed that Terranan screw in their cubicles. Somehow that is an image that we don�t need burned in our brains! Thanks for sharing.

Mystery Date?

So Rakhail the Drytowner is on the prowl again, this time staking out young comynara on the shores of Lake Hali. Fathers! Hide your daughters! Remember what happened to poor Edric Lanart-Hastur!

Too, Too Tula

As the Queen of Cosmetic Surgery digs her claws into Dyan Ridenow, somebody ought to tell her that being with a boy that much younger makes her look even older.

Wedding Bells/Funeral Knells

All things considered, a wedding on the site of old Marci�s funeral seems appropriate. The guest list is the same and everybody�s already dressed up. But Domna Fianna, do you really want to get married with the rhu fead in the background? It�s really one of the ugliest buildings on the planet!

CrashAnother one of those infernal Terranan aircars has crashed, this time at Hali. We thought after Frank Barber stopped flying that the crashes would end. I guess we underestimated Terry. Dom Piedro, Domna Clara, we hope that next time you step into a Terranan aircar you take along a Terranan parachute.

Issue #73, 11 September 1999

The Bloody Son

Reports tell us that Planetary Administrator Francis Barber got in a fist fight in a bar in the Trade City this week. Hey, Frank�is that pseudopersonality coming back? Actually, we kind of miss the old you.

Tutu Conquer

The reviews are in for the Caer Donn Ballet Theatre�s performance of "The Ballad of Hastur and Cassilde". By all accounts, it was a magnificent production with superb performances. Those in the audience commented that is equaled last year�s "Robardin�s Daughter".

Darkover Landfill

They�re still cleaning up the wreckage left by ace pilot Terry O�Connor last week. Apparently, some of the contents of the fuel cell from the plane have leaked into Lake Hali and there�s debris all over the place.

Kitty of Sorcery

Rumors persist near Armida that the Catpeople are restive again. There have been reported incidents of hairballs dotting the landscape and many reports of claw marks in furniture in and around Armida. We hope the Altons will be alert to any escalation in activity.

Oaf of the Renunciates

Hmmmm...Somebody better increase security at the Guildhouse in Bellarmes. It seems that a young man, dressed in drag, tried to gain access recently, claiming to be a woman seeking shelter. It was two days before members of the Sisterhood noticed that their new initiate wasn�t what "she" seemed to be.

Issue #74, 18 September, 1999

Marci�s in the Cold, Cold Ground

Finally, the funeral is over and the corpse of Marcello Ridenow is properly buried. Did anyone else notice that the stasis field around the body seemed to fail toward the end? Oh, well, old Marci was a stinker anyhow!

Impending Nuptuals

Long-overdue, it seems that Dom Diego Storn and Domna Fianna Ridenow are finally going to get those bracelets locked on their wrists. Hmmmm�.Marjo�s wedding, Fianna�s wedding, Marci�s funeral�aren�t there supposed to be three weddings and a funeral? Who�s next?

Blowin� in the Wind

We�ve heard that a Terranan named Floyd something-or-other arrived on Darkover, storming and raging. If we had a Planetary Administrator who wasn�t always tipsy, maybe incidents such as this wouldn�t happen.

Get Out Your Handkerchiefs

One can only hope that a certain Renunciate will refrain from wearing flowers in her hair if she attends Domna Fianna�s wedding. K�Tara, dear, we can�t afford to have the bridegroom sneezing through the whole ceremony.

Twinkle Toes

Oh, we just can�t wait to dance our way to ecstasy at Conga�s dance studio. Maybe we�ve misjudged her. Anybody who can introduce the conga to Darkover must have other redeeming qualities.

Vigilante Justice?

We are shocked that some members of the Guild of the Renunciates advocated vigilante justice against the poor unfortunate soul whose confused sexual identity led him to disguise himself and enter the Guild House at Bellarmes. Keep in mind that those who advocated physical violence in this instance were not the Sisters from that chapter, who merely turned him out. All we can tell those rabid advocates of vengeance is to treat others as you would be treated.

Issue #75, 25 September 1999

Crime Wave

Crime seems to be up in the streets of Thendara. Never have we seen such a situation where perfectly innocent citizens are being assaulted on the city streets. It must be the increased number of Terranan that we�ve seen in the city of late that is causing the problem.

On the Hill

They finally did it�Dom Diego Aldaran-Storn and Domna Fianna Ridenow were married di catenas in a touching ceremony presided over by Damisela Mabry Aldaran, Head of Dom Diego�s Domain. the couple secluded themselves soon after the ceremony, but our spies report hearing cries from the master bedroom of "Yahtzee! I've got Yahtzee!"

A Little Birdie Told Us�

Conflicting rumors keep reaching us about the search for the missing Cormel Rockraven. One day they think they�ve found him. The next day not. Come on, gang, let�s get it over with and let life get back to normal!

No A-Veil

Some of the Towers might follow Arilinn�s example and re-institute Veils at their entrances. Perhaps that will keep out some of the riffraff who have stirred up feelings about collective bargaining by Tower employees

Thendara Sheraton Slated to Open

In yet another attempt by the Terranan to invade our daily lives, Sheraton Intergalactic recently announce that it plans to open its first Darkovan franchise in Thendara soon. Together with the Caer Donn Hilton, this puts the small inns at financial jeopardy. But the question is, why does Comyn Council seem helpless in protecting local businesses from incursion?

That White Rose

We�re confused: Where did that white rose come from that Eliadha produced at the Storn wedding? Furthermore, why did some wedding guests perceive it as presented to Domna Fianna and others swear they saw it in the hands of Domna Darerca? We guess appearances are deceiving.

Issue #76, 2 October 1999

Ridenow Population Control Urged

After early census figures project a doubling of the Ridenow population in the Domains within the next year, Comyn officials privately express concern that there will be so many Ridenows on Darkover that there won�t be any room for the rest of us. And on top of all this, more Ridenows are returning to Darkover as we speak. Perhaps the Damiselas Melissa and Morgana could find somewhere else upon which to descend?

Another Avalanche

As our summer weather wanes, the danger of avalanches is again upon us. This week the pass on the road between Caer Donn and Nevarsin was closed because a Terranan tourist decided to yodel as he and his group went through. Officials estimate it will take two weeks to open the pass again. The bodies of the tourist and his companions have not yet been found.

Ban-She

This is also the season when the banshees traditionally mate. We�re wondering if this year Daimary MacAran will finally find a suitable girlfriend for Ivan.

Carena into Danger

One would think with a baby on the way, Domna Carena, wife of Dom Eduin Alton, would take more care in choosing her dining companions. Take it from us: luncheon with Congratulatia is not what the doctor ordered. But since you�re there, do try the redberry jelly. We hear it does wonders for one�s disposition.

We Are Reassured

How wonderful it is to find out from an authority such as John Cowan that the universe is not ending. The whole staff here will sleep better tonight.

Uncontrolled Weeping Is Epidemic

At a specific moment last week, all the residents of Darkover were overtaken with an uncontrolled sense of grief. Men and women were seen throughout our world in tears. From the Drytowns to Temora, from Caer Donn to Thendara, there was a feeling that something important had been lost. And deep in the Hellers, the wind whispered "Welcome home, Marion."

Issue #77, 9 October 1999

Stab of Guilt

We always thought Congratulatia Elhalyn y Ridenow would die because somebody dropped a house on her or doused her with a bucket of water. Instead, she was stabbed trying to murder Carena Ridenow, wife of Eduin Alton. Gee, what we we write about now that Congra is gone?

It�s a Gem

Did you catch a glimpse of all the silver, gold and copper Lady Storn was wearing at Council? And all those gemstones, including 20 carats of flawless blue-white diamonds and another 20 carats of tiny starstones. It�s a wonder that she can move with all the extra weight of her jewelry.

Aid to the Homeless

Would somebody please provide shelter to Melissa and Morgana Ridenow? We don�t want them walking the streets of Thendara, do we? Too much competition for the local talent, we think.

Constitutional

The rumors are true: a new constitution for Aldaran is in the works, and it includes a Bill of Rights. We�ve never been big on utopian movements, but it seems that the Lady of Aldaran and her advisors are going to show us all what a precious commodity freedom is. Almost as precious as Domna Fianna�s jewelry.

Spaceport Blues

All of you who have been so frustrated with our antiquated spaceport might take heart that Planetary Administrator Frank Barber is negotiating for a new one, but think of what a Barber-designed facility would look like. Even Terry O�Connor couldn�t find her way out!

She�s Coming Back!

Issue #78, 16 October, 1999

In A Pickle

The tragic demise of the treacherous Congratulatia Elhalyn y Ridenow has taken another bizarre turn. When investigators arrived on the scene to determine what really happened, Congra�s body was gone. Dom Eduin Alton and his wife, Domna Carena, could not be reached for comment. We do find it curious, though, that someone in the Alton Suite shipped a barrel marked "pickles" to Terra right after the supposed stabbings.

In A Crunch

The latest fad in Terranan food is sweeping Darkover. It is called "peanut butter" and it is made from roasted legumes which are then ground into a paste. While many people get the stuff stuck to the roofs of their mouths, there seems to be no adverse effects except for an occasional fist-fight between the people who prefer "smooth" and those who like "chunky".

Euphoria

By that goofy look on Dom Piedro Aillard�s face during Council, we�re afraid that he�s overindulged in the kireseth chocolate again. Those near him heard him mutter something about flying to Cuckoo-land. Certainly it would be more interesting than Council.

Playing Horsey

We hope that when the recently-rescued Dom Cormel Rockraven was asked "Can you mount?", it was in reference to his ability to get on a horse and not an invitation to sexual dalliance. Really, hasn�t the man been through enough?

High Finance

A note to the Aldaran Family: in some circles it is considered gauche to flaunt great wealth openly. It�s especially grating on those who belong to families who have no financial support commensurate with their traditional influence among the Comyn. It�s one of the reasons we allow them to act as if they have great power, so they won�t feel like the poor relations they really are.

All Wet?

Thendara held its first wet t-shirt contest the other day, and the "winner" was a Terranan woman named Elizabeth Martinez-Wang. Mestra, quite frankly we think such displays unseemly.

Issue #79, 23 October 1999

Comyn Council Is Taken by Storn

Telepathic dampers crackled as Fianna Ridenow-Storn expressed her fury over the inane comments on the successor to Dom Marcello as Lord or Lady Serrais. In a curious side note, all of the botanical specimens simultaneously perished in the gardens of two of the Towers. What could have caused such a phenomenon? Insiders are being very hush-hush about the whole thing.

They Must Like Nuts

In a related story, peals of laughter broke out in the Council chambers when two leroni proposed Damon Ridenow as Head of that Domain. Rumor has it that he has been in a catatonic state ever since he was kidnapped by the Catpeople shortly after the birth of his son, Dyan. After being rescued, he became unresponsive and sits in a locked room at Serrais staring at the wall and not speaking to anyone. Of course, in some Domains, that would constitute an ideal Domain Head, but not for Ridenow.

Creampuff Shortage at Spaceport

After the recent arrival of a Long Ship at Thendara Spaceport, creampuffs began disappearing at an alarming rate. Bakeries in the Trade City are also reporting a rise in profits but little left in terms of shelf goods. Can Leisha�s Sweet Shop be next?

Dear Dolo

We have to admit that Dolorosa Leynier has outdone herself again. Her Council gown is an important fashion statement that should set Comyn society on its ear. Brava, damisela!

Forge Away!

Were we mistaken, or did we spot some forge folk in Thendara this week? Perhaps they were in town for the Sixth Annual Arts and Crafts Festival at the civic center.

We�re Game!

The manager of the Caer Donn store of Toys �R Us reports that within minutes of appearing on the shelves, all available copies of Yahtzee were sold out. One eager purchaser was overheard saying "It sure beats Viagra!"

Issue #80, 30 October 1999

It�s Greek to Me

Sophia Papadeas is roaming the depths of Comyn Castle comparing herself to Pandora. Hey, at least she�s not a Cassandra!

Genealogists Meet

The Darkovan Genealogical Federation held its annual convention in Caer Donn this week. Genealogy is a growing hobby on the planet, and has spread from being an exclusive activity of the Comyn to being a pastime of everyday Darkovans, especially in the Hellers. The genealogy section of the Caer Donn Public Library is reputed to have a collection which is the largest of its type on our planet.

Right in the Kisser

While we�re enormously pleased to have Emelda Lanart-Hastur return to Darkover, however briefly, we have to say that her behavior in the Council Chamber was tacky. Did she really have to tongue-kiss that man with the dark skin while all of us looked on? They must do things differently on Terra.

Trick or Treat

Perhaps the Terranan custom of Halloween has caught on in Thendara. That would explain the bizarre individuals on Threadneedle Street recently. Maybe if we give them candy, they�ll go home.

Ivan to Be Alone?

A while back, we suggested that everyone�s favorite banshee, Ivan, be given a mate. He�s still waiting, and even Daimary MacAran better be careful. Horny male banshees truly lack self control. Then again, the same is true of horny male humans.

Early Storm Hits Lowerhammer

A late summer storm hit Lowerhammer this week, stranding hundreds of tourists in the resort town. Reports are that normal travel will resume soon. We are concerned, however. If snowstorms are developing this early in the Hellers, this could indeed be the roughest winter Darkover has seen in a decade.

Issue #81, 4 November 1999

All-Halyn

All of the sudden, we�ve got Elhalyns everywhere. We�re particularly impressed with young Roderick "Rory" Elhalyn. His looks and style will give the recently-named Lord Serrais a run for his money in the fashion department. Better hire a new tailor, Dyan!

Acting Your Age

Can you believe that old lecher Edric Lanart is on the prowl again, this time with an innocent young Terranan named Lindsay Foster who just happens to be a close friend of Dom Edric�s estranged wife, Emelda Lanart-Hastur. Just remember, not only do the walls of Comyn Castle have ears, but eyes too!

Crisis at Nevarsin

Just as the monastery at St. Valentine-of-the-Snows was getting ready to celebrate the festival which honors its patron saint, an unseasonable warm spell melted all the ice sculptures and ruined the ski races. Last week, Lowerhammer had a freak snowstorm and this week it is so warm in Nevarsin that it might as well be Vainwal! What is going on?

Do We Smell Something Burning?

A note to Keith Montrose and to Liss: next time you two decide to "play Yahtzee", make sure you pull the drapes on the window shut. A number of children in Thendara got an impromptu biology lesson recently!

At Terran HQ

Rumor has it that the negotiations over improving the Thendara spaceport are at an impasse. Stories are circulating around the planet that the Thendara facility will be closed and all operations moved to Port Chicago. Sub-Legate John Cowan could not be reached for comment, nor did the Planetary Administrator answer our calls.

Clothed Mouth

We�ve heard that Nico the ferret is up to his old tricks again. Domna Keara, don�t you find it disturbing that your pet and Frank Barber share a similar addiction to ladies� underwear? You don�t think Nico fell under Frank�s influence in the aircar just before Marjo�s wedding, do you?

Issue #82, 11 November 1999

By the Silvery Moon

Whew! Time to take a shower! Did you see Dolorosa Leynier and Dyan Ridenow in a clinch on the floor of the Council Chamber? Now that he�s given her the stars, will she moon him?

Finally Stiff

We�ve heard that Edric Lanart has passed away unexpectedly in Thendara this week. Of course, those of us who have known Dom Edric for years would never have gone so far as to say he was ever alive. Nevertheless, we are sure his widow, Emelda Lanart-Hastur, is grieving for her loss.

Thendara Violence Continues

Continued reports of attacks and stabbings in Thendara have reached our office. Quite honestly, we have to wonder how safe the city really is. One can only hope that the Guard will step up patrols to ensure the safety of our citizens.

The Aldaran Question

Council members should not let the strange events that have happened in the Chamber recently deter them from making a final decision on the Aldaran question. Not only should Aldaran be readmitted to full Council status immediately, but the Regency over Damisela Mabry needs to be terminated.

Voice from the Dead

Dom Diego Storn swears that he heard the voice of the late Dom Marcello Ridenow this week. It seems that the Peacock�s spirit is restless and wants to know about the happenings in Council. Perhaps existing among the Priestesses on Mormallo is getting boring. After all, when you have no body, it�s kind of hard to show off your wardrobe.

Space Port Blues

Are we the only ones who find Sub-Legate John Cowan�s denials about spaceport closings a little strained? And why haven�t we had any official word from the Planetary Administrator�s office?

Come As You Are

All of Thendara is abuzz with the news that there was a middle-of-the-night "come as you are" party. Dom Piedro Aillard, always a fashion trend-setter, showed up in pink bunny slippers, an earring, and perfume. Under the shriveling influence of the cold Darkovan night, it was obvious to all that the look has its shortcomings.

Issue #83, 20 November 1999

Stream of Consciousness

Reports have reached us that Terranan Jason Lombard has been whizzing through the streets of Thendara. Mestru Lombard, perhaps we are uninformed about Terranan customs, but we were unaware that public urination was a common habit. Rest assured that on Darkover, it�s considered quite rude.

Remote Control

The latest fad of tickling people from a distance has got to stop. Not only is it a misuse of laran, but it lacks fairness, since not everyone has the ability to practice it. Pity poor Domna Fianna Ridenow-Storn who had her tender ribs tickled by a party unknown while she was returning to Storn Suite this week.

It�s a Drag

The hottest rumor in Thendara this week is that Clara Elhalyn, the Head of that Domain, is secretly a man masquerading as a woman. While that would certainly explain the late Marcello Ridenow�s inability to establish a romantic liaison with Domna Clara, we really find it hard to believe that a man�s body hides underneath those beautiful robes. Those within the Elhalyn Domain have noticed a definite change in Domna Clara recently, a more expressive manner, but it�s a long stretch to tie that in with transvestite behavior.

Call the Guards

Don�t you find it absolutely hilarious that the likes of Frank Barber can walk into Comyn Castle unquestioned but Matthias Leynier, a son of Comyn, gets challenged at the gate by the guards? We even have two recently arrived Terranan�Lindsay Foster and Tyrone Harris�strolling the halls of the castle and nobody said anything to them about their right to be there. Mestru Harris was even in the Council Chamber with Domna Emelda Lanart-Hastur for a while. Don�t the Guardsmen ever study their own training manual?

Heat Wave Continues in Nevarsin

Unprecedented warm weather continues to plague Nevarsin. The monks at St. Valentine-of-the-Snows have been offering daily cristoforo services hoping for relief. Glacial melting above the city is bringing a fear of flooding to the residents and there are rumors that banshee eggs are failing to incubate properly because of the heat.

Spin Doctors

Apparently the producers of As Darkover Turns were unaware that Darkover�s rotation is the opposite of Terra�s. Now they have to completely redesign the show�s opening sequence, which will throw things into a cost over-run. What�s worse, the show�s executive director, Lindsay Foster, is currently on Darkover with the head writer, Emelda Lanart-Hastur, while the head of production design is still on Terra.

Issue #84, 27 November 1999

As Time Goes By

Danvan Hastur finally closed the Council session for the day and the hungry Comyn returned to their suites, caused a frenzy among the castle servants who had worked overtime to provide meals for the lords and ladies. After hours of preparation for these anticipated feasts, the servants were shocked to observe the diners ate everything in a matter of minutes. Even the clean-up took longer than the meals themselves. And we have to wonder�if they keep stuffing themselves this way, will the lords and ladies be able to fit into their Midwinter Ball outfits?

Rakhail and Kyril

Talk about an odd couple! Can you imagine straight-arrow Kyril di Asturien and perennial bad boy Ricardo "Rakhail" Dellaray as pals? Now there�s trouble waiting to happen.

Speaking of Trouble�

Comyn Castle has a bad track record for leaving bodies lying around. Remember Dorilys Rockraven? Now the corpulent corpse of Edric Lanart is taking up space in a castle parlor and nobody has gone to get it out. Does the widow have to do everything?

Poor Mabry

One must pity poor Mabry Aldaran as she seems fated to return to a semi-monastic life in Neskaya Tower. What a shame to have someone so young and full of life put into such isolation.

Terror on Music Street

Aldones help us! It�s that time again! Music auditions have started and residents of Thendara who live near Music Street must listen once more to the wailings and shriekings of prospective players. At least auditions only take place one a year!

It�s a Wrap

Thousands of Darkovans lost their appetite this week as it was reported that Federation Sub-Legate John Cowan has been running around wearing nothing but plastic wrap. Folks from all over the Domains have now switched to wrapping their food in wax paper.

Thanks

While we are not always fond of Terranan customs infiltrating our Darkovan way of life, we have to make an exception for the Terranan custom of Thanksgiving which has become quite popular here. Setting aside a day to be grateful for all the good things that come our way is a wonderful concept. Aldones, Zandru, Evanda, and Avarra�praise those from whom all blessing flow.

Issue #85, 4 December 1999

Nutbark Buns

So Terry O�Connor is lusting after Ranji�s nutbark buns. Mestra O�Connor should try an eclair at Leisha�s Sweet Shop instead. It�s a much less complicated snack.

Dimples

Word has just reached our office that Cadet Gregori Haldar-Tyall has just received an award for having the best dimples on Darkover. His prize is an autographed copy of the latest Adore Eternally novel.

Hot Stock Tip

Insiders in the Thendara Stock Exchange report a hot market for outstanding stock in Leynier Industries. Stock prices soared this week in a frenzy of buying. While most of the stock was purchased by small investors, there is some indication that these might be dummy corporations owned by a single unknown party vying for controlling interest.

Slap Shot

Did you see Domna Emelda Lanart-Hastur backhanding the Drytowner at the Broken Rryl? Those of you enrolled in the annual tennis open should be glad she will be back on Terra before that midsummer event.

Nevarsin in Crisis

The heat wave which has plagued Nevarsin has dried up all the wells in the city. The reservoir just above town is now dry and even the deep cisterns in St. Valentine�s are empty. On the other hand, students at St. Valentine�s are delighted that they no longer have to bathe in ice water.

Who�s Your Mama?

The wild speculation that Frank Barber is of Terran African ancestry has us wondering about his background. After all, when he sprang upon us as a Federation aircar pilot, he never told us much about his life before Darkover. While we doubt the "dark secret" that many have been whispering recently, we have to wonder what led Francis Alonzo Barber to be the person appears to be.

Issue #86, 11 December 1999

An Outing

It was revealed this week that Dyan Ridenow has come out of the closet. Given his predecessor�s predilection for the perverse, we are concerned that the new Lord Serrais is following in old Marci�s footsteps.

Chocolate Prices Soar as Supply Declines

One of Darkover�s sorrows is that the cacao plant cannot be grown here successfully. Thus all chocolate on the planet must be imported. At the same time that the price of chocolate is rising, consumption on Darkover, especially around Thendara, has increased sharply. The theft of chocolate is a serious crime, punishable by death. Yes, Death by Chocolate!

Sword of Chaos

Run for cover, everyone! The first-year cadets are having sword practice again and those "swashbucklers" will soon be stabbing everything in sight. Think about it�Kyril DiAsturien can barely hold a dinner knife and they�re giving him a sword!

Renunciates in the Castle

Leave it to the Storns to stir things up. Castle servants tell us that no fewer than 3 Guild members are living in Storn Suites. We�ve heard they�re changing the name of the place to Amazon.com!

Ladies� Men?

We really have to laugh at reports that Matthias Leynier and Keith Montrose fancy themselves as irresistible to the opposite sex. Is it any wonder that both of these two are currently "unattached"?

Spam Hits Darkover

Dakrovans had their first taste of the Terranan product Spam this week and nobody seemed to like the taste. Dom Piedro Aillard is quoted as saying if he ever sees the stuff again, it�s going to get tossed out.

Tripod?

Where is the three-legged squirrel that�s been running loose in Thendara? More importantly, who ate his other leg? Any ideas, Gavin?

Issue #87, 18 December 1999

52 Pick-Up

Some Comynara have no shame. Melissa Ridenow was spotted recently trying to pick up cadets. While we are sure that the boys look attractive in their uniforms, it is unseemly for a Comyn maiden to be so brazen. What�s next? Looking them straight in the eyes like a Hellers wench? Or perhaps showing them your neck?

Puny

Someone should tell Kyril DiAsturien that when his armsmaster referred to him as "small", he was referring to hands. While indeed other parts of Kyril�s anatomy may also fit the description, the real reference was to the diameter of the sword�s hilt.

A Bad Dream

Did you hear that Keith Montrose and Matthias Leynier are sharing a room? No wonder Keith is having nightmares!

Guess Who�s Coming to Dinner?

The Castamir twins are on the loose again. Domna Fianna Ridenow-Storn would be well-advised to put the good crystal and china away and let the little brats eat out of wooden trenchers.

Population Control

Those who worry that Darkover is being overrun by Ridenows, who seem to multiply like rabbithorns these days, take heart: Alan Ridenow has announced to the world that his passion is his sword. Let�s hope he was being literal and not figurative.

Lend Me Your Leynier

Poor Dom Diego Storn. Just when he thinks he�s had enough of his relatives, Danilla Leynier shows up. Perhaps he should return to High Windward and lock the doors before his half-sister Alana Aldaran-Leynier shows up as well! For those who don�t know her, she�s like Emelda Lanart-Hastur without the charm.

Issue #88, 25 December 1999

Special Edition of the Darkovan Inquirer:The Staff Picks Their Favorite Gift Choices for Selected Victims

To Piedro Aillard: His own stash of chocolate so that he doesn�t have to steal from others.

To the Lady of Aldaran: A final version of her name so that she doesn�t descend to the level of that ancient Terranan singer who ended up being called �The Artist Formerly Known as...�

To Kyril DiAsturien: A sword the same size as all the other boys.

To Lord and Lady Storn: The Deluxe Anniversary Edition of Yahtzee.

To Myria Lanart: An experience to confirm that laranreally does exist.

To Bridie O�Hara: True romance at last.

To Keara Ridenow: A mate for Nico and lots of little ferrets running around the place.

To Daimary MacAran: A mate for Ivan and lots of big banshees running around the place.

To Eduin Alton, Commander of the Guard: Cadets who know what they are doing.

To Jorik Hastur: Intestinal fortitute in dealing with his grandfather.

To Danvan Hastur: Wrinkle cream.

To the Castamir Twins: Ritalin.

To John Cowan: A vacation to Vainwal (we�ve got to get that man away from Port Chicago for a while).

To Keith Montrose and Liss: An encore (whew!).

To Robie DiAsturien and Moirra Rockraven: Some time together when they�re not in danger.

To Emelda Lanart-Hastur and Tyrone Harris: A hotel room.

To Frank Barber: A bottle of 200 proof grain alcohol.

To Dyan Ridenow: Something in basic black.

To Dolorosa Leynier: An outfit that is prettier than Dyan�s.

To Darerca Storn: Something more exciting to do than sit around knitting.

To Sorcha, Eliadha, and K�Tara: Finally getting to go to High Windward so they can have their own rooms at last.

To Kieran MacDoevid: More self-confidence and all the dog food Cavalier can eat.

To Matthias Leynier: That the chip falls off your shoulder.

To Marjo and Derek: A second honeymoon.

To Jaelle n�ha Gilla: Well-mannered initiates into the Guild.

To Dr. Gavin MacDonnell: An extra squirrel leg.

To Jake Ridenow: A life outside of Dyan's shadow.

To Everybody Else We Didn�t Mention in This Issue: Peace, love, and lots and lots of juicy plot lines.

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