I received an email request from Dianne Hayduk for a poem in my collection about a wedding between a farm girl and a rancher. It seems that her father is to emcee the reception and is looking for humorous material. I rummaged through every thing I could find, typed material, my cowboy poetry books, what I'd written on napkins and in the margins of old newspapers found in the bathroom. I found a few about "the farmer's daughter", but (heh, heh!) none suitable and appropriate for such a joyous and blissful occasion. I was so embarrassed by this void in my repertoire, that I wrote one especially for the happy couple soon to wed. Hopefully, Dianne, this little ditty will fit the bill. Give the bride and groom all my best wishes for a long and happy life together!
cj
From Alter to Halter
© 1997 by Carol Tallman Jones
The bride and groom walk up the aisle,
a rancher and farmer's daughter.
She thinks he's cute as a tater
he swears she's sweet as fodder.
He's scraped the manure off his boots,
spit-polished, slicked and shined 'em.
She's donned spike-heels and left her Brogan's
where matrons and maids won't find 'em.
Up the aisle this farm gal strolls,
as straight as furrowed rows;
While the rancher's hat band soaks with sweat
till it drips on his pointed toes.
The waddie thinks this heifer will wear his brand
till all the cows come home.
She figgers the north pasture on his ranch
right for Russets -- it's sandy loam.
She could rush to the store for a hackamore,
he thinks in his ole country brain.
That eighty near the well she knows will work swell
for rotation -- sugarbeets n' grain.
The wary farmer gives his daughter's hand
to this wrangler with sun-freckled nose
And thinks all the while (with a sly little smile)
just how little this cowboy knows.
This dear gorgeous girl, her hair all a'curl,
decked in ribbons borrowed and blue,
Has been coached from the start by a farm wife real smart,
who knows how t' wrangle men, too.
So while the poor lad accepts that hand from this Dad
and kneels before the altar...
The wise papa knows the farm gal he rose
ain't no rancher...but wields a mean halter!
