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Carol Tallman Jones
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 ONE IN EVERY COMMUNITY© 1989 by Carol Tallman Jones
My neighbor keepshis ranch house lawn impeccably manicured. Its robust grass mowed and trimmed; fertilized; manured. No crabgrass; not a dandelion; no single blade of weed. Its carpet-like existence a splendid sight indeed. His traveling sprinkler rolling; (among his daily chores) his raking, weeding, hoeing; his love of out-of-doors; his hard work and his mowing; (He brags his only trick) his blooming flowers growing... all make me damn-near SICK. :) cj
BRITISH 4th OF JULY© 1983 by Carol Tallman JonesA British man came to the ranch 
to sell a vacuum cleaner.He mentioned he preferred the "Isles" because they were much greener. As we talked (the Fourth was near) 'bout fireworks and such... I asked how England celebrated. He said, "We don't do much. "We simply hang a dummy from a pole in the town square, set him all ablaze with fire and watch him dangle there." Shocked to hear this strange event until several questions later, he said, "The dummy, Dummy, represents an English traitor! "Bye, Mum, I've many stops to make before Independence Day. And I can tell by looking... you don't vacuum, anyway." :) cj
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