The Basset Hound Club of Victoria Inc. Australia         

Basset Humour

Let's face it Bassets would have to be the Clown Prince's of the dog world.....this page has just a few examples of Basset Humour.

These are some of the games most bassets play. They are creative dogs and will find ones that you may never thought of, or wanted to consider. It is important that you take the lead and show your basset which games are acceptable in your household.

  *** Warning, most basset games are accompanied with lots of barking and a-ruffing. ***

For example: An Afghan Hound (a very fast breed) will run the fence perimeter in a game of chase and have a home base, while a basset takes the shortest distance between two points and will not respect the "home free" space. This allows the basset to get to the end point near when the Afghan arrives, much to the surprise of the Afghan. The poor Afghan then believes it has been outrun by a dog with no legs and the basset is feeling ever so powerful and clever and announces it to the Afghan.

This delights the true basset owner and frustrates those that likely should not have a basset in their life. Basset owners are full of incredible true tales of how their dogs "find" fun.

Fast Dog This game is called run as fast as your mini legs will carry you, holding your head in ear flying position. When engaging in this activity, the basset believes it is running like the wind, faster than a speeding bullet and no one/nothing can keep up with it. A true basset lover will not proceed beyond a jog, so that the dog's spirit will not be crushed and it's ego can maintain the pride of being the "fastest dog on the planet". This game is often played after a bath, when chasing chickens and birds on the beach, or when leaving with your Burger King Whopper that you so kindly left unattended.

Stereo Chase In this game there are other dogs involved. One dog is "it", the others semi-chase it until it tires and sits or lays for a rest. All the bassets involved then take position around the "it" and bark until "it" can stand it no more and will run again. This is repeated over and over until someone else chooses to become "it" or the current "it" loses patience and/or screams uncle or simply goes deaf from the onslaught.

Bite the Leg (played only with other dogs) When you are a dog with no legs and what little you have is resting under your body, this is a very challenging game. Trying to nip each others leg while standing is the hard version. Lying down and nibbling on the other guy's leg is the most common form however.

Bite the Face (played only with other dogs) This involves lots of open-mouthed "gumming", trying to trap the other guys muzzle in ones mouth. This is not a tough challenge, but will do when too tired to play Bite the Leg. When they go for the ears, this game needs to be halted as it can lead to hard feelings and loud squeals.

Fetch With a few rare exceptions, this is not a very fun game with a basset unless you like to jog. Most take the attitude of, "You didn't want it so you threw it away. Why should I go get it just because you changed your mind?"

Hide and Seek Not all bassets play this. It will often be a game with a human. The human hides somewhere in the house and the basset has to "go find" It can also take the form of hiding around the kitchen island, the round about section of the house or around the shed etc. outside.

Towel Toss Some basset use towels, others afghans (the blanket kind, not the hound type) or a small blanket. They may hide under it, walk around the house with it on them, peek through it or even toss it about the room.

Tug-O-War Played with a towel, a rope toy or your laundry. It is not suggested to play this with items you wish them to use occasionally, nor with a young dog that is still developing his correct bite/jaw line.

Kill the Squeaker When you buy or make a toy, be aware that most bassets will focus on the squeaker as an item to be removed. It is not the squeak, but the challenged of removal. The same goes for stuffies that have eyes or noses. Most basset owners find latex and plastic toys a waste of money due to the "removal factor".

Eat the Underwear Bassets tend to have an undying fascination for underwear and socks, esp. if they have been worn. Beware where you leave them or they will be air-conditioned!

Flat Basset This is a game your basset will choose to play spontaneously...generally at bath time, when you want them to move over, or just move for that matter. It involves the Basset flattening itself onto the floor, often with legs spread out. The dog no longer weighs its original weight, but thousands of pounds and is virtually an immovable. Suggestions for winning this game may include using a crowbar, renting a back loader, or crane.

SLUG In this game your basset becomes very slow to go or do what you would like. You may wonder if the dog is ill. A once "fast basset" is now painfully sluggish unless food is offered to enhance the speed of operation.

Bumper Arm This is when you have a basset that is insistent on getting pets, or more pets NOW. Your arm or elbow will be elevated to new heights with no consideration to what may be in your hand or what your arm may touch, other than the basset itself.

If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise"
--Unknown

"Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant."
-- Unknown

"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies."
-- Gene Hill

"In dog years, I'm dead."
-- Unknown

"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of
dogs."
-- Aldous Huxley

"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three
times before lying down."
-- Robert Benchley

"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think
that's how dogs spend their lives."
-- Sue Murphy

"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the
guts to bite people themselves."
-- August Strindberg

"No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless
absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."
-- Fran Lebowitz

"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back
from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork,
half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!"
-- Anne Tyler

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious
cult."
-- Rita Rudner

"My dog is worried about the economy because Pal is up to 99 cents a
can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money."
-- Joe Weinstein

"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I
have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons."
-- James Thurber

"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person
with pets."
-- Nora Ephron

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are
wonderful."
-- Ann Landers

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax
and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone
should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him."

-- Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan

"Of all the things I miss from veterinary practice, puppy breath is one
of the most fond memories!"
-- Dr. Tom Cat

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."

-- Ben Williams

"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem."
-- Edward Abbey

"Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it
look like the dog did it."
-- Unknown

"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his
tail."
-- Unknown

"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the
dog does."
-- Christopher Morley

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves
himself."
-- Josh Billings

"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be."
-- Holbrook Jackson

"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
-- Andrew A. Rooney

"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are
his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to
the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such
devotion."
-- Unknown

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not
bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man."
-- Mark Twain

"Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great
Dane."
-- Smiley Blanton

"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed
contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts."

-- John Steinbeck

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TO TELL THE WEATHER,
Go to your back door and look for the basset.
If the basset is at the door and is wet,
It's probably raining.
But if the basset is standing there really soaking wet,
It is probably raining really hard.
If the basset's fur looks like it has been rubbed the wrong way,
It's probably windy.
If the basset has snow on its back,
It's probably snowing.
Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this,
You have to leave the basset outside all the time,
Especially if you expect bad weather.
Sincerely,
THE CAT.

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BET YOU CAN'T OWN JUST ONE!

Why own a dog? There's danger you know
You can't own just one, the craving will grow

There's no doubt they're addictive, wherein lies the danger
While living with lots, you'll grow poorer and stranger.

One dog is so funny, and two are no trouble
The third one is easy, the fourth one's a honey

The fifth's delightful, the sixth one's a breeze,
You find you can live with a house full with ease.

So how 'bout another? Would you really dare?
They're really quite easy, but Lord, the hair.

With dogs on the sofa, and dogs on the bed,
And crates in the kitchen, It's no bother, you've said,

They're really no trouble, their manners are great,
What's just one more dog, and one more crate?

The sofa is hairy, the windows are crusty,
The floor is all footprints, the furniture is dusty,

The housekeeping suffers, but what do you care?
Who minds a few nose prints, and a little more hair?

So let's keep a puppy, you can always find room,
And a little more time for the dust cloth and broom,

There's hardly a limit to the dogs you can add,
The thought of a cutback sure makes you sad.

Each one is so special, so useful, so funny,
The vet, the food bills grow larger, you owe money,

Your folks never visit, few friends come to stay,
Except other dog folks, who live the same way.

Your lawn has now died, and your shrubs are dead too,
But your weekends are busy, you're off with your crew,

There's dog food and vitamins, and training and shots,
And entries and motels which cost lots and lots.

Is it worth it you wonder? Are you caught in a trap?
Then your favorite dog comes and climbs in your lap,

His look says you’re special, and you know that you will
Keep all of the critters, in spite of the bill.

AUTHOR UNKNOWN

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