A candle of hope burns

The road was long, winding and dark
A chill ran up my spine and I could not embark.

I crouched in the shadows and the darkness frightened me
It seemed to bare its teeth in menacing glee.

I shivered and stepped onto the road to flee
The vultures above shrieked, ready to pounce on me.

With trembling feet I took one step and then another
Groping in the dark, another and still another.

The shadows loomed and lurked in the dark
But a star on the horizon kindled a spark

'This is not the end, there is so much to do
Only find that strength that is within you.

It beckons me still though the journey is long
But I am not afraid and my steps are strong.

My hope and determination is to regain my confidence and become a complete and an independent person again to be able to function like any other normal human being. I am learning Braille and having Mobiliy Orientation. And in the future also I shall continue to do whatever is required.But I have had my moments of fear and dejection, I admit. The traumatic experience of losing my central vision due to PIC in the year 1998, left me devastated and paralysed. My "bootless cries reached deaf Heavens" and I became totally distraught. I could not keep pace with this world any more. My "Paradise was lost" perhaps never to be "Regained". I had become useless. I had to quit my job. There was nothing I could accomplish. I rotted. There was no intellectual satisfaction. My fountain of learnig had dried up. After 18 fruitful years of teaching career that reached its pinnacle with the staging of Shakespeare's "Macbeth" that I had directed, my world had come to a standstill. A long period of lonliness, dejection, self-abandonment, despair and deep depression followed. I shunned everyone and avoided meeting people. But till you are alive, no matter what, hope remains alive. One finds ways of survival. I also started battling with my disease. God has blessed us with kind people around us and I believe He never lets us fall. During this period of extreme dejection, He sent an angel to me too. one of my friends Mrs. Juliet Mascarnehas reached out to me and held out her hand. Slowly, gradually and with tremendous patience, she put me on to the path of computers because I could increase the font here, look at the beautiful graphics, try to create some of my own too and slowly browse through the internet. I started and found that here was something that gave me both aesthetic and intellectual satisfaction. I learnt HTML and use of Microsoft Word Processor. Computer became my greatest friend after that. I started with creating simple web pages for my children as their birthday gifts because they are far away from me. The satisfaction and happiness was boundless.After all I was not altogether useless. I still could do atleast something! I progressed gradually and I am still learning, though the uphill task is tedious. I love poetry. I have made some poetry postcards which I shall be putting up on my website very soon. I have given links to the pages that I have created. There is nothing professional about them. Most of the graphics I have borrowed from sites which give them free. Through my pages I just want to reach out to those people who have lost hoped like I did. We just have to learn to do things differently. If I could do it you can too !! Thank you.