Star Wars Jokes!
The
Top 14 Signs You're Not Watching the Real "Phantom Menace"
From Topfive.com
14> As if the girl-girl porno action weren't tacky enough, you can actually see the strings holding up the planets.
13> Somehow, R2-D2 manages to give Darth Maul the finger.
12> Right when Obi-Wan is about to whip out his "lightsaber," the screen goes blank and you have to put in another 50 cents.
11> Queen Amidala looks suspiciously like one of the Olsen twins.
10> As Leia Orgasma takes off her clothes, you realize you've stumbled into "The Phantom Moan-fest."
9> The "lightsaber duel" consists of nothing but two guys with Nerf baseball bats making lightsaber noises with their mouths.
8> None of the previews mentioned the evil Darth Diggler or queen Ches-Ti Ho.
7> The scene of the young Anakin Skywalker straddling his Pod Racer -- arms outstretched -- shouting, "I'm Lord of the Universe!" is just a tad derivative.
6> "Help me, Monica... You're my only hope!"
5> Leslie Neilsen as "Dark Mall"?! I don't friggin' think so!
4> Yoda looks awfully pale, and he keeps saying "Taco Bell, yo quiero."
3> "Starring Jerry Mathers as The Menace," just doesn't sound right.
2> Anakin Skywalker is played by a small black child whose only line is "Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?"
1> You're having
trouble reading the subtitled translations for Obi "Juan" Kenobi.
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