From   : WQFW59A@prodigy.com (Costa Moustakis)
Source :

Homer : "Kids, if he (Grandpa) starts acting weird, lead him down into
         the basement."


From   : tle@husc7.harvard.edu (Tung Le)
Source : Homer's Triple Bypass (9F09):

Homer is trying to convince Bart and Lisa that nothing bad will happen
to him. So he tells them that only bad people die.

Homer : "Kids, Kids! I'm not gonna die! That only happens to bad people!"
Bart  : "What about Abraham Lincoln?"
Homer : "Err...He sold poisoned milk to school children!"
Marge : "Homer!"
Homer : "Hey, I'm just trying to make it easier on them..."


From   : 
Source : Homer the Vigilante (1F09):

The catburglar episode when Homer begins a vigilante group. 
They begin breaking a ton of laws themselves.

Lisa  : "Who will police the police?"
Homer : "I dunna know. Coast Guard?"


From   : bribanks@aol.com (BriBanks)
Source : Homer the Vigilante (1F09):

When Lisa is reading the list of things Homer wants his group to
accomplish:

Lisa  : "... World domination???!!!"
Homer : "Oops! That must be a mistake."

Brain to Homer  : "Mental note -- the girl knows too much."


From   : tle@husc7.harvard.edu (Tung Le)
Source : The Front (9F16):

I was reminded of two more of my favorite Homer lines. In the episode 
where Homer has to go to night school to get his high school degree
because he failed Genreal Science 101, one of the best exchanges occurs 
between him and Marge.

(Not word for word)

Homer (to brain): "Uh, oh. It's time you told Marge your secret."

Homer : "Marge, I ate those fancy soaps you bought for the bathroom."
Marge : "Oh, my gosh!"
Brain : "No, the other secret."
Homer : "Marge, I never passed high school."
Marge : "That still doesn't explain why you ate my soap. Wait, maybe it
         does."

Homer goes on to explain that he never passed Science 101.

Marge : "But, Homer! You're a Nuclear Technician."
Homer : "Marge! Icksnay on the Uclearnay EchnicianTay."
Marge : "What did you say?"
Homer : "I don't know. I flunked Latin, too."


From   : Everybody!
Source : *8^)
Homer : "D'OH!"



From   : hiltonw@ix.netcom.com (Hilton Wong)
Source : Brother from the Same Planet (9F12):

Homer speaking to Bart,

(Not exact quotes sorry)

"Then you start to cry like a sissy"
"When he turns away disgustedly"
"That's the time to kick some back"


From   : PA140648@UTKVM1.UTK.EDU
Source :

Homer speaking to Bart,

"Son, when you participate in sporting events, its not whether you 
 win or loose, its how drunk you get."

[Brain to Homer]

"Swish!"

From   : beavis3269@aol.com (Beavis3269)
Source :
Homer : "When I was seventeen
         I drank some very good beer
         I drank some very good beer I purchased
         With a fake ID
         My name was Brian McGee
         I stayed up listening to Queen
         When I was seventeen"


Source : Bart Gets An Elephant (1F15):

Homer  : "...sure, IN theeoory, in theory communism works..."


From   : Goeshere@indy.net
Source : Colonel Homer (8F19):

Just after he has been serenaded to by Lurleen, Country & Western
singer:

Homer : "Whoooa, that's hot.  There isn't a man alive who wouldn't get
         turned on by that. Well, goodbye!"


From   : s9332166@cougar.vut.edu.au (Mark Caban)
Source : Lisa the Beauty Queen (9F02):

Homer : "Hey there, Blimpy Boy, flying through the sky so fancy.. free.."


[Breaks into tears]

Source : Boy-Scoutz N The Hood (1F06):

Homer : "Mmmm, free goo!"

Occurs whilst Bart and Milhouse are on their Squishy bender. They blow up
a large bubblegum balloon which explodes and covers them, just as Homer 
(for some reason) is walking by.


From   : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source :

Homer : "Asleep at the switch? I wasn't asleep, I was drunk!"


From   : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source :

Homer : "Alright Brain...Its all up to you"


From   : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source :

[Poker at Homer's house is livened up when one of his friends brings 
 a "Nudie Deck" of cards round...]

Homer : "The girls of the internet. Ooh, I'd go online with them anyday!"


From   : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source :

Homer : "I'm hittin' the road. Maybe I'll drop you a line some day 
         from wherever I wind up in this crazy old world"


From   : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source :

Homer : "I've been asked to tell you that the following show is very 
         scary, with stuff that might give your kids nightmares. You see, 
         there are some cry babies out there, religious types mostly, who 
         might be  offended. If you are one of them, I advise you to turn 
         off your set now. Come on! I dare ya! Buwack buck buck buck buck 
         buck buck buck Buwack buck buck buck, Chicken!"

[Sound of TV switched off]


From   : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source : Treehouse of Horror V (Halloween Special V) (2F03):

Homer : "No TV and no beer make Homer something, something."
Marge : "Go crazy?"
Homer : "DON'T MIND IF I DO! WHARGHLULULU WHUR LALULUBRGLUBLU HAHUHAHU 
         WOODWOOD HALULAOGH!"
Marge : "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"


From   : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source : Treehouse of Horror V (Halloween Special V) (2F03):

Homer : "Well, it was a long trip, but we're almost there!" 
Marge : "Homer, did you remember to lock the front door of the house?"
Homer : "D'OH!"

Homer : "Well, its been two long trips but we're finally almost there 
         again!"
Marge : "Homer, when you locked the front door did you remember to lock 
         the back door?"
Homer : "D'OH!, D'OH!"


Lisa  : [Gasp] "Oh NO! We left Grampa back at the gas station!"

[Silence]

Lisa  : "What about Grampa?"

[Car continues obliviously]


From   : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source : Marge on the Lam (1F03):

[After Homer & Cheif Wiggum drive off a cliff and their impending 
 death is stopped by the car landing in a huge pile of rubbish...]

Wiggum : "Ha! And to think, those idiot environmentalists were protesting 
          this landfill!"

Homer : "Solid waste! I could kiss you!  MWUA! eugh! MWUA! ooh! MWUA! 
         aah! MWUA! ooh! I think this one's pizza!"


From   : herkle@zip.com.au (Adam Hochroth)
Source : Last Exit to Springfield (9F15):

Homer: "How much does this job pay?"
Lenny: "Nothin'"
Homer: "D'oh!"
Lenny: "Unless you're crooked."
Homer: "Woohoo!"


From   : terry 
Source : Last Exit to Springfield (9F15):

HOMER : I got this scar in the strike of '88.

[Time fade]

(Hitting table in unison with words, like a chant)

Homer : "Where's my Burrito? Where's my Burrito?"

[coffee truck door falls on his head]


From   : herkle@zip.com.au (Adam Hochroth)
Source : Last Exit to Springfield (9F15):

Burns : "We don't have to be adversaries Homer, we both want a fair 
         Union contract..."
Homer (To Brain) : Why is Mr. Burns being so nice to me?"

Burns   : "...and if you scratch my back,  I'll scratch yours!"
H Brain : "Wait a minute, is he coming onto me?"
Burns   : "I mean, if I should slip something into your pocket, what's 
           the harm?"
H Brain : "Oh my God! He is coming onto me!"
Burns   : "After all, negotiations make strange bed-fellows,
           [Friendly Laugh]
H Brain : "Arggh!"
Homer   : "Sorry Mr Burns, but I don't go in for these backdoor 
           shenanigans. Sure I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious, 
           but the answer is no!


From   : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source : Last Exit to Springfield (9F15):

Lisa  : "Do you think you can get the dental plan back?"
Homer : "Well, that depends on who's a better negotiator. Mr. Burns 
         or Me!"
Bart  : "Dad! I'll trade you this delicious doorstop for your crummy 
         old danish."
Homer : "Done and done! Heh Heh Heh!"

[Bart eats danish, while Homer's action sinks in ever so slowly into 
 his brain]

Homer : "D'OH!"




From   : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source : Treehouse of Horror IV (Halloween Special IV) (1F04):

Mr Burns is a Vampire Episode

Homer : " Ooooh! Punch!"
Lisa  : " Eeugh! Dad! This is BLOOD!"
Homer : "Correction, free blood!"


From   : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source : Treehouse of Horror IV (Halloween Special IV) (1F04):

Mr Burns is a Vampire Episode

Lisa  : "Mom! Dad! Mr. Burns is a vampire, and he's got Bart!"
Burns : "Why, Bart is right here!"
Bart  : "Hello Mother. Hello Father. I missed you during my uneventful 
         absence."
Homer : "Oh Lisa! You and your stories! Bart is a vampire! Beer kills 
         brain-cells! Now lets go back to that...building...thingy...
         where our beds and TV...is."


From   : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source : Treehouse of Horror IV (Halloween Special IV) (1F04):

Mr Burns is a Vampire Episode

Lisa  : "You must drive this stake right through his heart"

[Sounds of Homer Opening coffin]

Homer : "Take that vile FIEND!"

[Homer plunges stake into body, repeatedly hammering]

Lisa  : "Ah...Dad, that's his crotch."
Homer : "Ho Ho Ho, Sorry!"

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