Can Homer ever do anything which isn't funny? Inconcievable?...
[Zoinks!]
[Homer]
[Serial Killers]
[My CV]
[Links]
From : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source : Treehouse of Horror IV (Halloween Special IV) (1F04):
Mr Burns is a Vampire Episode
Homer : "Kill my boss?!? Do I dare live out the american dream?"
From : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source : Treehouse of Horror IV (Halloween Special IV) (1F04):
Mr Burns is a Vampire Episode
(Lisa tries to convince Homer that Burns is a vampire)
Homer : "Heh Heh Heh! Lisa! Vampires are make believe, just like elves
and gremlins and eskimos!"
From : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source :
Baloney Song
"My baloney has a first name, its h-o-m-e-r,
My baloney has a second name, its h-o-m-e-r..."
From : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source :
Homer : "Guys are always patting my bald head for luck, pinching my
belly to hear my girlish laugh..."
From : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source :
Homer : "Alright Brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But lets
just do this, and I can get back to killing you with beer."
From : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source : Selma's Choice (9F11)
Homer : "Come, to Homercles."
From : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source : Selma's Choice (9F11)
Homer & Bart : "I saw the spaghetti, all covered with cheese, I lost
my poor meatball..."
Marge : "If you don't mind!?!, we're on our way to a funeral."
Homer : "Ding Dong, the witch is dead..."
Bart : "Which old witch?"
Homer : "The wicked witch!"
From : akumaguy@aol.com (AkumaGuy)
Source :
Homer : "D'oh!"
Lisa : "A deer!"
Marge : "A female deer!"
My memory is a little bad, I may have mixed up Lisa and Marge :)
From : dholgado@mail1.sas.upenn.edu (David P Holgado)
Source :
(Ned, his boy, Homer, and Bart, are stranded in the middle of the ocean
in their raft. They've been there for days, and Flanders has been cool
calm and collective the whole time.....then he loses it)
Ned : "We're done for! We're done-diddly-done-for! We're
Done-diddly-doodly-done-diddly-doodly done-diddly-doodly"
Homer : (Slapping Ned from left to right)
"Flanders! Get a Hold of Yourself!"
(He stops slapping for a moment, Ned has calmed down)
Ned : "Thanks, Homer....I really..."
(Homer begins slapping him again)
Bart : "Dad! I think he gets the point!"
Homer : "(Slap) Better (Slap) To be (Slap) Safe (Slap) Than (Slap) Sorry
(Slap)........sorry."
Ned : "diddly (Slap)"
From : Rob Piercey
Source :
Homer : "Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand."
From : jaypenn01@aol.com (Jay Penn01)
Source : Lisa's Rival (1F17):
(Homer sleepily defending his sugar, in a Hispanic-accented voice,
paraphrased)
Homer : "In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power,
then you get the women."
Source :
Homer: "Ah, Andy Capp, you wife beating drunk!"
From : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source : Treehouse of Horror IV (Halloween Special IV) (1F04):
Homer : "Mm...Mm...Mm...mMMm...Mmmm...Forbidden donut"
[Homer eating last piece of donut, just as Devil Flanders appears]
Devil Flanders : "Well, Well! Finishing something?"
Homer : "AHHHH!"
From : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source : Treehouse of Horror IV (Halloween Special IV) (1F04):
Devil Flanders : "Alright Simpson, you get your soul back...
but let that ill-gotten donut be forever
on your head!"
Homer : "AHHHH!"
[Sounds of Homer greedily eating bits of his donut head]
Marge : "Homer, stop picking at it!"
Homer : "Aww...but I'm so sweet and tasty! Oh well, time to go to work."
From : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source : Treehouse of Horror IV (Halloween Special IV) (1F04):
Devil Flanders : "Now remember, at the instant that you finish it I own
your soul for..."
[Just before the last piece of donut disapears down Homer's throat]
Homer : "Hey, wait! If I don't finish this last bite, you don't get my
soul, do you?"
Devil Flanders : "Uh, technically no, but..."
Homer : "I'm smarter than the devil! I'm smarter than the dev..."
Devil Flanders : "YOU ARE NOT SMARTER THAN ME! I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL YET,
HOMER SIMPSON!"
[Devil departs]
Homer : "Not likely, heh heh!"
From : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source : Treehouse of Horror IV (Halloween Special IV) (1F04):
[Homer Writing an I.O.U. note...to himself!]
"Dear Homer, I owe you one emergency donut, signed Homer."
"Basturd!, [Crushes note] he's always one step ahead!"
From : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source : Treehouse of Horror III (9F04):
Zombie Flanders : "Hey Simpson! I'm feeling a mite peckish, mind if I
chew your EAR?"
[Homer kills Zombie Flanders]
Bart : "Dad! You killed the Zombie Flanders!"
Homer : "He was a Zombie?"
From : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source :
Homer : "Marge! Look at all this great stuff I found at the Marina. It
was just sitting in some guy's boat!"
From : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source : Treehouse of Horror V (Halloween Special V) (2F03):
Bart : "Good morning, Father dear! Hope your well."
Lisa : "Are we taking the new ?Lexus? to Aunt Patty and Selma's
funeral today?"
Homer : "Hmm...Fabulous house...Well-behaved kids...Sisters-in-law
dead...Luxury Sedan...WOOHOO! I hit the jackpot! Marge dear,
would you kindly pass me a donut?"
Marge : "Donut? What's a donut?"
Homer : "AHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHH!"
[Sounds of Homer making a furious time-travel exit]
From : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source : Lisa on Ice (2F05):
Homer : "I don't want anyone giving her a hard time just because she's
DIFFERENT!...No jokes...No taunting..."
[Homer spots Uter]
Homer : "AHH! HOO! HOO! Look, that kids got bosoms! Who's got a wet
towel? Heh Heh!"
[Whip crack of towel]
Homer : "Come're Butterball!"
[Uter wails in torment]
Uter : "Don't make me run, I'm full of chocolate!"
From : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source : Lisa on Ice (2F05):
Marge : "Now Homer, don't you eat this pie..."
Homer : "O-kay"
[Marge leaves]
Homer : "Alright pie, I'm just gonna do this...!"
[Opens and closes his mouth in an eating fashion]
Homer : "...and if you get eaten, its your own fault!"
[Heads towards pie, but collides into something solid]
Homer : "Owwww! OWWWW! OWW...My...Ah, the hell with it!"
[Ergo, pie is eaten]
From : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source : Dog of Death (8F17):
Homer : "If you really want something in this life, you have to work for
it. Now, quiet! The're about to announce the lottery numbers...
Announcer : "17"
Homer : "D'OH!"
Announcer : "32"
Homer : "D'OH!"
Announcer : "5"
Homer : "D'OH!"
Announcer : "8"
Homer : "WOOHOO!"
Announcer : "47"
Homer : "D'OH!"
From : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source : Treehouse of Horror III (9F04):
Lisa : "Dad, we did something very BAD!"
Homer : "Did you wreck the car?"
Bart : "No."
Homer : "Did you raise the dead?"
Lisa : "Yes!"
Homer : "But the car's OK?"
Bart & Lisa : "Uh-huh."
Homer : "Alright then."
From : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source :
Someone : "Take this object, but beware! It carries a terrible
curse..."
Homer : "Ooh, that's bad!"
Someone : "...but it comes with a free frogurt..."
Homer : "That's good!"
Someone : "...the frogurt is also cursed..."
Homer : "That's bad!"
Someone : "...but you get your choice of topping..."
Homer : "That's good!"
Someone : "The toppings contain potassium benzoate..."
[Silence]
Someone : "That's bad!"
Homer : "Can I go now?"
From : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source : Deep Space Homer (1F13):
Homer : "You don't know what its like, I'm the one out there everyday
putting his ass on the line, and I'm not out of order! You're
out of order! The whole freakin' system is out of order! You
want the Truth? You want the TRUTH?! YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE
TRUTH! Because when you reach over and put your hand into a
pile of goo, that was your best friend's face, you don't know
what to do! FORGET IT MARGE! ITS CHINATOWN!"
From : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source :
Homer : "Ahh, Beer! My one weakness...my Achilles Heel, if you will..."
From : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source : Mr. Plow (9F07):
Simple Song
Homer : "Call Mr. Plow,
that's my name,
that name again,
is Mr. Plow!"
From : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source :
"Hello? Operator! Give me the number for 911!"
From : zcacchi@cs.ucl.ac.uk
Source : Simpson's Screensaver: Sage Advice
Homer : "Blame the guy who doesn't speak Engish."
From : cleo75@aol.com (Cleo75)
Source :
"Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family."
From : quinlanr@darwin.biology.QueensU.CA (Roberto Quinlan)
Source :
Homer (looking up at the living room ceiling): "God, why do you mock me?"
Marge : "That's not God, that's a waffle that Bart threw on the ceiling."
Homer (eats waffle): "Mmmm...Sacrelicious!"
From : davehall@mbnet.mb.ca (Dave Hall)
Source :
"Can you believe it!? Pretty soon, I'll be able to quit my job and
live off the boy!"
From : "Russell VanCleaue (NSP)"
Source :
Homer : "Quiet, I can't hear myself think."
Brain : "I want some peanuts."
Homer : "That's better."
From : Moose78758
Source : Boy-Scoutz N The Hood (1F06):
After foraging in the couch...
Homer: "Twenty dollars? Aww, I wanted a peanut!"
Brain: "$20 can buy many peanuts."
Homer: "Explain how!"
Brain: "Money can be exchanged for goods and services."
Homer: "Whoo-hoo!"
From : dkahn@lynx.dac.neu.edu (Douglas J Kahn)
Source :
This is the Father son relationship test episode where bart builds the
soapbox derby race car with his father as 'team simpson.'
Homer: "D'oh, how can I get bart to do things with me."
Brain: "why not try reverse psychology."
Homer: "That won't ever work."
Brain: "O.K. don't try reverse psychology."
Homer: "Y'all right, I WILL try reverse psychology."
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