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| "That hideous man is a hero." | |
| "Let us end this mindless violence, and join our hands in song." | "Everyone flare your nostrils in olfactory anticipation." |
| "Sugar is pouring into the water! | "Your candy is tainted. If that boy dies, he's forever beyond your reach." |
| "Long live the hero cat of Springfield!" | "Krusty, our animal today is the toxic franka (?) snake." |
| "He's gone from predator to partier." | "I say, tear them limb from limb." |
| "What church might that be?" | "This heretic has doomed us all!" |
| On Mr. Burns' commercialization of the First Church of Springfield: "He restored it from nave to narthex!" | "So, Krusty - are you ready to shoot this apple off the top of my head?" |
| What is keeping Agnes Skinner's J. Lo dress on? "The collective will of everyone in this room!" | "I've learned my lesson, Krusty. Never again will I look directly at a solar eclipse." |
| "Another tragedy averted by gun violence." | "Homer - you've invented a Whopper." |
| "I agree with the hideous crone." | "Whatever did you do, Moe?" |
| "Look ! It's Internet baffoon, Angry Dad!" | "I SAID no one can save you now!" |
| "A storm is coming! I can feel it in my bone!" | "I don't know what's sadder about the Simpsons - the fact that we mock them or the fact that they shall never know. Never, ever, ever. Ever." |
| "This place is the height of tedium." | "Homer was right - they're moving the team!" |
| "Oh, no - here come the gulls." | "Sweet...it's like a hootenany in my mouth." |
| "There must be someone here we can accuse." | "Great spiral, Daniel!" |
| "Our children aren't safe with that monster." | "I demand a re-race." |
| "My father was a monster, too." | "Sordid public sexual congress!" |
| "I'll see to it that Mr. Burns suffers the infernal machinations of hell's grim tyrant!" | "Please, Krusty. This is very demeaning!" |
| "Apparently that disturbing odor was the food." | "Dear Lord, look at that blimp! He's hanging from a balloon!" |
| "Can't we shut down that infernal transmitter?" | "And, as a grim finale, she plans to drown that poor, caged baby!" |
| "My girlfriend Barbara will no longer pleasure me with the French arts!" | "I can't bear this any longer. I'm leaving." |
| "I'm going to miss you, Krusty. Me and all the other Sideshows. Except Sideshow Bob. In the midst of our sorrow, we can take solace in the fact that your elevated blood alcohol level probably helped you burn up quicker." | "No, Krusty. You've always treated me rather shabbily. On our last show, you poured liquid nitrogen down my pants and cracked my buttocks with a hammer. Mr. Johansen treats me with dignity." |
| "Fare thee well!" | "He's kicking it old school." |
| "He paralyzed his vocal cords cramming too many 'k' sounds into a punchline." | "Come stand next to the bathroom door. I want to yell at you some more!" |
| "Surely you know I'm lactose intolerant!" | "Krusty, please! It burns!" |
| "Well, they say any publicity is good publicity." | "Though we can't get him out, we'll do the next best thing..." |
| "You can be so cruel when you're sober." | "Oh, shut up. You're wasting valuable smashing time." |
| "Not the sky! That's where clouds are born!" | "Everyone's always kissing your ass...Well, I'm not afraid to tell you... you're a [BLEEP]." |
| "Ooh, I never get tired of that story." | "Who's ready to riot?!!" |
| "I have a recurring dream in which I'm falling!" | "Surely, it cannot speak!?" |
Please, y: this is very demeaning!
| From "Realty Bites"-5F06 | |
| Marge tries to sell Mel a new home: | |
| Sideshow Mel: Good shot
Barbara. Wow, a house with a bowling alley.
Marge: Do you bowl often? Sideshow Mel: Actually this is our first time. I don't really care for it. Marge: Then maybe you should think about if this house is good for you. Sideshow Mel: I suppose not. I guess we were just captivated by this delightful plaque. (Laughs. Plaque says "Bless this Mess".) |
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| From "Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part 2 | -2f20 |
| Krusty and Mel are watching Smithers being arrested on TV: | |
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Krusty: Hey! That's
my Madonna gag. That guy stole my gag!
Mel: And you stole it from last Friday's episode of "Pardon My Zinger". Krusty: Stole, made up, what's the difference? Mel: Mr. Smithers must have seen that program, too! He never misses it. [puffs pipe] Hmm...at the town meeting, he mentioned that he watched Comedy Central. I made sure to note that, as it seemed quite unusual...Ye Gods! To the police station, Krusty! The two burst into the station.
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