Disclaimer: No infringement on Paramount's copyright intended. 'Night', 'Counterpoint', and Star Trek and it’s characters are not mine, but Ana Vor and R’mor are my creation and so is the rest of the story. The story revolves around a relationship between women beyond friendship. If this bothers you, please look elsewhere for your fan fiction.

Author's Note: This is part 2 of an on-going series. It would be wise to read chapter one before reading this chapter. This continues to be challenging saga that started out to be another one of my short stories. I hope you enjoy reading it. This chapter contains spoilers for Star Trek:Voyager episode ‘Night’.

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 © 1999 by Saffron

Life on Voyager was slowly returning to normal for Ana. Although her feelings for the Captain had been rekindled, this time they gave her comfort instead of pain. Nevertheless, she had no idea how to break through that wall to get to the woman behind the command. For a while, they each made a concerted effort to avoid each other. Ana’s reasons lay in her attempts to keep old thoughts and feelings from resurfacing but for Kathryn, it was because she did not want to face the reality of what she was feeling.

Voyager encountered an area of space that had no star systems. Outside every window was a darkness that, at times, seemed to choke crewmembers if they stared at it too long. Holodecks were in much higher demand and tensions ran a little higher. Nothing to distract the crew from their duties, let alone their own thoughts. This was especially true for Kathryn and Ana. They both had to deal with feelings they’d been trying to avoid.

Ana went about her duties, frequently interrupted by thoughts of Kathryn. The captain had been seen less and less by the crew over the last 2 months and that had Ana concerned. The question now was whether or not to express that concern... and would such concern be welcome.

Ana lay asleep in her quarters. The constant darkness of the space around her seemed to affect her sleeping habits, as it did many of the crew. Normally a deep sleeper, Ana was now awakened by the slightest noise.

The faint sound of a clarinet invaded her dreams and within minutes, Ana was awake. She silently cursed Harry under her breath. She sat up knowing full well that she would not be able to sleep anymore. Ana got up, got dressed, and made her way to the mess hall.

Ana sat in the mess hall... Tom and B'Elanna were off to one side playing Derata. Other crewmembers were scattered throughout the room, filling the room with murmurs of conversation.

Ana stared at the marshmallows floating in the hot chocolate in front of her, trying to think of a way to approach the captain. Turning her thoughts repeatedly in her head, Ana eventually knew what she had to do. At that moment, she became aware of raised voices to her left. It was Tom and B'Elanna. They always seemed to be arguing these days.

Ana got up, disposed of her cup, and exited the room almost bumping into Neelix as he entered the room.

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Kathryn stared out the viewport. Chakotay had stopped by her quarters to report ships status and to try and get her to come to the holodeck with him. He tried to guilt her by telling her that the crew needed her and she picked a lousy time to isolate herself from the crew. Kathryn had tried to explain what she thinking, but he didn’t seem to get it. She finally had to walk away from him saying, "If the crew asks for me, tell them the Captain sends her regards." It was nice of Chakotay to try and help. But he wasn’t what she wanted. Not anymore at least.

Never had she felt so lonely. At least dealing with the Borg, Kazon and other species and spatial anomalies kept her mind busy. But this ‘void’, as the crew called it…forced her to deal with her thoughts. She thought of Ana. Why was she thinking of her? Kathryn sat down. She was disturbed by the part of her that wished it had been Ana that had stopped by instead of Chakotay.

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Ana stood outside the Captain’s quarters several seconds before she summoned up the courage to press the keypad for entry.

"Come in."

The doors slid open. Kathryn looked up to see the slender form of Ana Vor enter the room.

Ana stepped apprehensively into the room. "Captain."

Althought she didn’t know why, Kathryn knew at once why Ana was there. "I’m OK, Lieutenant."

Ana took a deep breath, "With all due respect Captain, I don’t believe that."

Kathryn whipped her head around to face Ana, her voice taking on a deep resonance. "Respect? What the hell does respect have to do with anything? How can you have respect for someone who got us stranded here in the first place? How could you possibly know one way or the other?" Kathryn instantly regretted the tone of her words as they came out of her mouth when she saw the hurt flash across Ana’s face.

Ana momentarily closed her eyes as the Captain’s tone sut through her then moved closer to her as she spoke. "I… don’t claim to know. I just know. I can recognize the pain you try to hide behind your eyes. I have been there… and you helped me like no one ever has." Ana stopped at arm’s length from Kathryn. "Why won’t you let me do the same for you?"

Kathryn stared at the woman who was offering her comfort. Even though protocol, her conscience, and logic screamed for her to end this situation, she couldn’t turn this woman away.

Then Ana did something that surprised them both.

Ana reached out and put her arms around the smaller woman, fully expecting to be pushed away.

Not used to being touched, Kathryn stood stoically in Ana’s arms, feeling her resolve slowly melting away. Slowly, she put her arms around Ana and buried her face in the nape of her neck.

They stood that way for a moment. Then Kathryn pulled away and went to stand near the viewport. "No. This will not help."

"Captain?"

"We have been in the Delta quadrant for over 4 years! It was MY decision. I’ve conveniently ignored that fact…getting lost in the stars we fly by, the Kazon, the Borg, the Hirogen…dealing with them kept my mind busy." Kathryn was getting more agitated as she spoke.

Ana cautiously moved closer to the Captain until she stood behind her.

Sensing Ana’s movements, Kathryn continued to speak, "…but then, we hit this void…" She exhaled a labored breath.

Ana spoke quietly, startling Kathryn. "I’ve never thought about it before. You, at the top of the hierarchy... very much alone. We forget that behind those 4 pips is a human being, and sometimes… so do you. You don’t have the support system you might have had in the Alpha quadrant… even the Federation, whether you agreed with them or not, decisions did not always rest solely on your shoulders. Sometimes, you wish that someone else would take over."

Kathryn looked at her in surprise.

Ana stepped back, embarrassed. "Um… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…. I don’t know how…"

Kathryn held up her hand. "That’s OK," she said softly. "I appreciate your… empathy."

They stared awkwardly at each other. Each a little unnerved by the unspoken connection they had made with one another. Kathryn smiled, uncharacteristically shy. "Thanks for stopping by."

Ana nodded her head and left the room. She was a little puzzled and unnerved by the empathic connection she had made with the Captain.

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As Ana stepped into her quarters and the doors hissed closed behind her, realism hit her. She had hugged the Captain! AND the Captain hugged her back!

Ana felt a little lightheaded and sat down to think.

At that very moment, Kathryn was once again staring out the viewport. She whipped her head around to face the door Ana had just exited. Ana had hugged her! And SHE had let it happen! Kathryn sat down to think. It was then that she was pulled from her thoughts by the lights going out and the sound of power being drained throughout the ship.

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Kathryn now had to deal with the situation on Voyager and put her personal thoughts aside. Voyager and her crew came first…always.

Protecting Voyager had almost become routine for Kathryn and this situation was no different. Voyager was being attacked by beings that lived in the void. Seeing Voyager and her crew as a threat, the aliens drained power from the ship. Initially, she was grateful for Emck stepping in and driving the lifeforms away, but eventually, he disgusted her with his lack of regard for the lives of others. He had been using these lifeform’s space to dump his toxic waste. Kathryn knew she had to do something about it.

She felt herself once again left with the same dilemma. Take steps to protect this species and once again shut off a chance to get her crew home. Not again. She couldn’t do it. As she made her decision, she thought briefly of Ana. A woman who, in such a short amount of time, had become a frequent thought in her mind. She would miss that. Nonetheless, Kathryn’s driven determination to get Voyager and her crew home prevailed.

Her decision made, she talked with Chakotay and had him assemble the senior staff on the bridge.

As she walked around the bridge, she took in the sight of the officers present. She hadn’t realized how much she had missed them until now. And she would miss them when she sent Voyager on through the Vortex that led out of the ‘void’ as she stayed behind in a shuttle. To her, it seemed to be the only way.

She didn’t expect her senior staff to refuse. She could have gotten angry, but knew that was as pointless as her plan now was. "You could all be hanged… for mutiny," she said, glaring at them, her eyes resting squarely on Chakotay. He had told them so they were prepared for whatever she said.

She sat in her chair as the crew implemented a new plan. Had she become that predictable?

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Voyager made it through the void pretty much unscathed. But what the crew benefited the most was that the Captain was finally coming out of her shell. As her accessibility increased, morale increased… and that included Ana.

Encouraged by recent events and knowing that Kathryn wouldn’t take the initiative on the next step, Ana took a week to gather up the courage to approach Kathryn. She picked a time when she knew Kathryn would be off duty, walked right up to her quarters and pressed the keypad without hesitating. Hesitation would only give Ana the opportunity to change her mind.

The doors opened. Ana saw Kathryn sitting in a chair and reading a book. She wore a pale blue short-sleeved shirt and black pants. It was then that Ana hesitated, almost turning to leave before Kathryn saw her.

Too late. Kathryn Janeway looked up. "Lieutenant?"

Ana still hadn’t moved. All she could do was smile.

Kathryn smiled and put her book down. She stood up with a slight stretch and gestured for Ana to come in. "You can come in, you know. I don’t bite."

Ana stepped in just enough for the doors to close behind her. She hadn’t expected to be this nervous.

"Are you alright?" asked Kathryn with concern. She searched Ana’s eyes for an answer.

Finally, Ana got her tongue to work. "I was just wondering if you’d like to join me on the holodeck for dinner sometime?"

Kathryn’s eye’s softened and she smiled. "I would love to."

Ana was speechless. "Wha…uh…um…"

Kathryn stepped closer. "I said ‘yes’."

Ana’s face broke into a smile. "Yes?"

Kathryn nodded, trying not to laugh as Ana left the room.

Ana froze in her tracks immediately outside the door. That big smile was still on her face. She spoke to herself repeatedly, "She said ‘yes’." Ana continued on her way to her quarters with a little extra spring in her step.

Kathryn sat down in her chair again, but didn’t pick up the book. Her mind replayed the brief moment she’d just had with Ana. Why, when her first instinct was to say no, did she say yes? As she remembered the look on Ana’s face, she knew why.

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"Welcome to Beta Falls!" exclaimed Ana as Kathryn entered the holodeck.

Kathryn looked beyond Ana at the waterfalls. It was a just before dusk and the sunlight on the mist from the waterfall was creating a rainbow.

"This is my favorite holodeck program. I didn’t grow up on Betazed, but this is my little piece of my birthplace that I like to visit…" said Ana.

Kathryn looked to the left and saw a little outdoor café that overlooked the waterfall.

Ana followed Kathryn’s gaze. "… and I added my favorite café from San Francisco."

Kathryn nodded approvingly.

"Shall we go?" asked Ana.

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They were seated at a table where they both had a good view of the falls. After they ordered, they quickly fell into easy conversation. Eventually the topic of that first night came up.

"So... do you want to talk what was bothering you that night?" asked Kathryn.

Ana sat silent, turning Kathryn’s question over in her mind. "It was my birthday."

Kathryn frowned.

"Let me explain. I have a twin sister. I have never seen her in person." Ana took a deep breath before she continued. "When we were born, we had a rare genetic disorder that happens only to telepaths. Despite the fact that we were only one-quarter Betazoid didn’t matter. My sister and I were linked telepathically; similar to the way some twins are joined. This link can be fatal if the twins live near each other. Even if the doctors sever the link, there are still dangers of brain damage. So my sister and I had to live apart. She lived of Betazed, I lived on Earth." She bit her lip to keep it from quivering. "This link is always the strongest on our birthday, kind of like a rubber band almost to its breaking point. I’ve discovered that here in this quadrant, the pain is greater so for one day a year, I have to…."

Kathryn interrupted, "Maybe the doctor…."

Ana shook her head. "There is no known remedy for this… so usually, for one day, I keep to myself, stay in my quarters. But for some reason, this year, I didn’t want to do that." Ana looked up into Kathryn’s forlorn face and gave a small grin. "Hey, I didn’t mean to bring the mood down. I just thought you should know. Let’s change the subject."

Throughout the rest of the meal, they talked about many things, enjoying each other’s company thoroughly. After dessert, they both fell silent.

Kathryn looked up at and saw the questions in Ana’s eyes. "Ask me. It can’t hurt."

Ana smiled and nodded, then spoke softly. "Why did you come to my quarters that night?"

Kathryn thought for a moment. "I... I’m not sure. I’ve been trying to figure that out myself. All I know is, I thought I could help."

"You did. More than I can possibly tell you.’

Kathryn nodded and thought for a moment. "Now, may I ask you something?"

Ana nodded.

Kathryn thought for a moment. "Why did you pretend to be asleep when I started to move that morning."

Ana looked puzzled. "How did you...?"

"Because... I... was pretty much already awake. Once I fall asleep, I don’t sleep long."

Ana nodded in acknowledgement. "I’m really not sure why faked sleeping. I guess I did it ‘cause having you there felt nice and perhaps, having my Captain sleeping next to me was too much reality at the time. I honestly am not sure."

Kathryn thought for a moment. "I guess I was a little embarrassed. I… felt comfortable and I guess that’s a feeling I don’t necessarily trust out here. I do remember that the woman I saw that night was in a lot of pain. I can still see it in your eyes."

"I felt empty. I didn’t know how to fill up the space inside me that would make me feel whole again."

"And now?" Kathryn asked.

"Now…it’s a new day. Out here, you just gotta live in the moment and take things one day at a time. If you don’t, you’ll go crazy. I miss my family like everybody else." Ana paused and looked down at her plate. "I just want to let you know were I’m coming from. I…I’ve had had a crush on you for the last couple of years and… I could easily fall in love with you." Ana looked up into Kathryn’s intent gaze, but was unable to read her expression. She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again in hesitation. "If… that’s something that bothers you or is not what you’re looking for, I need to know, ‘cause…"

Ana stopped speaking when Kathryn reached across the table and took her hand. Kathryn spoke in a soft, comforting tone. I’ve never been attracted to a woman before. I’ll admit I’ve been a little unnerved by it, but…"Kathryn sighed. "I do know what it’s like to be drawn to someone… like I am to you. I’ve never been the type of person to ignore something like that… and I could never ignore you."

Extremely touched by Kathryn’s words, Ana sighed. "Thank you for saying that. I can’t tell you how much that means to me.

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They both knew the evening was over, but they stood in front of the doors of the holodeck, staring at each other, each wondering if it was appropriate to kiss. Finally, Ana, surprising them both, pressed her lips gently to Kathryn’s mouth. The kiss was chaste and closed mouth, but at the same time, it was electrical. Kathryn had never felt anything like it. The softness, the sweetness, the familiarity sent shivers down her spine.

To Ana, it was a dream come true and eerily, exactly has she had imagined it. A small sigh escaped before she could stop it.

Overwhelmed, Kathryn abruptly broke off the kiss and exhaled, eyes still closed. "Wow," she murmured.

Ana smiled. Kathryn felt her heart beating faster. She opened her eyes and was uncharacteristically speechless. She saw tears in Ana’s eyes. Kathryn reached a hand out and wiped the tears from Ana’s face. "I’ve been having trouble finding the right words lately. I’ve never been attracted to a woman before."

Still smiling, Ana spoke, "I think you’re doing just fine. Thank you for tonight."

Kathryn nodded.

"Computer, save and end program." Ana took in the sight of Kathryn one more time then exited the holodeck, with Kathryn at her shoulder. Ana turned left and Kathryn turned right.