Disclaimer: No infringement on Paramount's copyright intended. 'Night', 'Counterpoint', and Star Trek and it’s characters are not mine, but Ana Vor and R’mor are my creation and so is the rest of the story. The story revolves around a relationship between women beyond friendship. If this bothers you, please look elsewhere for your fan fiction.

Author's Note: This is part 5 of an on-going series. It would be wise to read chapters one, two, three and four before reading this one. This part in an episode addition to 'Counterpoint'. If you've not seen it, parts of this might not make much sense.

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Chapter 5
After Counterpoint

 © 1999 by Saffron

Ana knew something was wrong. Kathryn normally had no problem looking her in the eye, and sharing her thoughts. Now Kathryn was distant. And that made Ana nervous. Something was very wrong. Ana knew it… but thought it best to let Kathryn come to her. And within 2 hours, she did.

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"Kashyk kissed me…and…I…" Kathryn exhaled a laborious breath. "I… kissed him back."

Ana felt a lump form in her throat. She fought the tears. No. She couldn't believe what she heard… but refused to ask for clarification for fear of hearing those words again. Instead she spoke, her voice calmer than she felt. "Please leave."

Kathryn tried to touch Ana's arm, but Ana moved away and put her back to Kathryn. She spoke again, this time, her voice a little shakier. "Please… just go."

As she watched Ana struggle to retain her composure, Kathryn's felt her heart break. On the verge of tears herself, she left the room.

Ana closed her eyes as the doors closed after Kathryn. She smiled ruefully as R’mor’s words echoed in her head. ‘I just don’t want to see you get hurt.’ Ana sighed, now wondering if it was all worth it?

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From that moment on, any encounter between Kathryn and Ana was laced with tension and suppressed emotion. Ana refused to deal with Kathryn outside of ship's business and Kathryn's distracted state of mind started to show through. Chakotay eventually brought it up. Kathryn was sitting at her desk, drinking coffee, and poring over some reports when he entered her ready room.

He stood in front of her desk staring down at her. "Are you Ok, Captain?"

Forever the stoic Captain, Kathryn kept up a brave front. "I'm perfectly fine, Commander."

"For some reason, Kathryn, I don't believe that."

Kathryn noted the change from rank to first name. She took a sip of coffee and closed her eyes as she let the warm liquid slide down her throat. She looked up at Chakotay. "You don't, huh?" She got up, went to sit on the couch near the viewport and gestured for him to join her. "So… what do you believe, Commander?"

"Actually, I'm not sure what to believe."

Kathryn raised one eyebrow and gave him a half-smile. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I've been hearing rumors."

Kathryn leaned closer to the Commander. "Rumors? What sort of rumors?"

Chakotay hesitated before he spoke. "About you and Lieutenant Vor."

Kathryn leaned back quickly, almost spilling her coffee. "Um… what about me and Lieutenant Vor?" she asked softly.

"Why don't you tell me."

Kathryn looked up at her friend. "I know you should have heard it from me first, but…" she sighed. "I have a hard enough time explaining it to myself…let alone you. It’s all so new."

Chakotay sat silent, letting her talk.

"Chakotay, I may have screwed up a potentially good relationship. Maybe it was sabotage, maybe…" Kathryn shrugged. "I don't know…I have no idea how to fix this."

"What happened?"

Kathryn swallowed the rest of her coffee before she spoke. "I kissed Kashyk."

Chakotay struggled not to react, but failed miserably.

"I know, I know. I'm sure I had the same look on my face after it happened. And I've gone over it and over it in my mind. I didn't initiate the kiss, but I certainly didn't stop it." Kathryn stood up and started pacing about the room as she spoke. "You should have seen her face when I told her. I never knew it was possible to see someone's heart break. And she won't talk to me." She put her hand to her face and was surprised to feel it wet with tears. Embarrassed, she stared at Chakotay. She turned her back to him as she spoke. "Thanks for listening. You don’t have to stay and listened to my ramble."

Chakotay sighed. How this woman frustrated him to no end. She had the hardest time allowing anyone to help her. Actually, he was surprised she had shared with him what she did. He got up and walked to stand behind her. He put his hand on her shoulder and turned her to face him. "I'm not leaving."

Kathryn tried to pull rank. "Commander…."

He put a hand to her lips. "No, Kathryn. I'm going to stay a little bit longer…if you need to talk, fine. If you want to work, fine. If you want to sit in silence, fine. But as your friend, I'm not leaving you just yet…"

Kathryn's shoulders relaxed in surrender and allowed her friend to give her the much-needed hug.

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Events between Kathryn and Ana finally came to a head a week later in a turbolift.

They stood side by side in the turbolift, the silence ringing in their ears. The sudden stop of the lift, made Ana fall against Kathryn. She pushed herself off, but not before Kathryn’s subtle perfume overwhelmed her. Ana moved to other side of the lift, pressing her self against the wall trying to get as far from Kathryn as she could.

Kathryn sighed with annoyance as she straightened her uniformed and tapped her Comm badge. "B’Elanna! What the hell happened? The turbolift has stopped."

"Yes, Captain, we know. Seven tried to boost the power relays in that section... without authorization, I might add. Anyway, her efforts..."

"Never mind. How long will it take?"

"An hour, maybe two.’

Kathryn sighed again. "Ok. Janeway out." She paused before tapping her Comm badge again. "Janeway to Commander Chakotay."

"Chakotay here."

"You have the bridge. I am currently stuck in the turbolift. Please notify appropriate personnel that Lieutenant Vor is stuck here with me."

"Aye, Captain. Chakotay out."

Ana slid to the floor. Kathryn sat down across from her.

Ana closed her eyes and tried to keep the tears back. "Damn it." She whispered.

Kathryn moved closer to Ana and pulled her legs toward her chest. "Hey."

Ana looked at Kathryn through her tears. "What?"

Kathryn gave her a small smile. "Is it that terrible being stuck in here with me?"

Ana chuckled in spite of her tears. "No, Captain. It’s not."

Fully aware of Ana's use of her rank, Kathryn spoke up. "How many times can I say I'm sorry?"

Ana didn't look at Kathryn. "I know you're sorry. That doesn't erase the pain and confusion."

"I'm confused too. I just want to know how to fix this."

Ana looked up. "You have to figure out what you want. If it's not me, I need to know."

Kathryn thought for a moment. "Hey... this is new to me too. I've always been a person who knows what she wants. I've not been this confused for a long time. I'm not used to it."

"Um… ok…here's a question," she paused. "Did you….' enjoy' kissing him?" Ana didn't look at Kathryn, afraid of the answer.

Kathryn sat silent for a moment before responding. "Yes…but…." Ana inhaled sharply.

Kathryn continued. "BUT…" a look of realization came over Kathryn's face as she spoke. "But, I enjoy kissing you more." Kathryn moved closer to Ana. "I guess I didn't realize that I needed to find that out."

Ana didn't speak. The hurt she felt was acute. It seemed to permeate throughout her body. She bit her lip to keep it from shaking. "I love you… and… the thought of losing you is a thought I'd prefer not to have." A lump in her throat prevented her from going on. She just stared at Kathryn.

Kathryn reached out and caressed Ana's cheek with the back of her hand. "Life's painful lessons. Not much fun, are they? I'm always aware that my actions and decisions affect everyone on this ship. That comes with the Captain's chair. But… in my personal relationships… I sometimes lose sight of that… and I really don't know why."

Ana sighed. Kathryn reached over and turned Ana's face toward her. And then leaned forward and very lightly touched her lips to Ana's.

Before Ana could respond, the turbolift began to move. They both struggled to stand up and wipe the tears from their eyes.

The turbolift stopped on Deck 4. Before clearing the doorway, she turned to look at Kathryn. The hurt still showed on her face, yet a glimmer of hope shone in her eyes. ‘Talk to you later?" she asked. Kathryn nodded and watched Ana until the doors closed.

Upon arriving at the bridge, Kathryn headed straight for her ready room with out so much as a glance at anyone. As soon as the doors closed behind her, she stopped and let out a deep breath. She hadn’t realized she had been holding her breath. Even though she had just made headway with Ana, Kathryn knew she had a ways go.

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