The
following are excerpts from Teen
Love on Friendship.
Boyfriend-
or Girlfriend-Lechers: In high school, I had
friends who hit on my girlfriend, which for girls and
guys alike is possibly the worst thing that can
happen to you. What I still fail to understand is why
somebody--your friend--would choose to be
interested in your girlfriend or boyfriend when there
are millions of people to choose from. Why would
anyone deliberately set out to betray a friend when
the cost is so high to everyone? It could be because
these "girlfriend- or boyfriend-lechers"
have extremely low self-esteem. These people feel so
inferior to their friends that they will do anything
to feel that they can "have what we have."
The truth is, by goinb behind somebody's back and
flirting with that person's girlfriend or boyfriend,
they are proving that they don't have what we have;
they don't have respect or integrity.
Friends
Aren't a Part-Time Job: Don't let a
girlfriend or boyfriend get in the way of a
friendship. Friends aren't a part-time job; you can't
just take six months off because you get into a
relationship and then pop back in when you're on your
own again. There is a delicate balance that we can
strike to enjoy the benefits of our relationships.
Keep
Your Friends Accountable: It's important to
confront friends who deceive you or betray you. If
your friend is willing to admit his or her faults and
work on them, your friendship can grow stronger. Keep
your friends accountable and let them knwo that you
respect them and that you expect respect in return.
Eating
Disorders: Our society hold beauty ideals
for young girls that are almost impossible to meet.
The super-models that we see plastered all over
magazines are paper-thin and look half-starved. Girls
and young woman can easily get the idea that to be
thin is to be beautiful and that, as that stupid
saying goes, "You can't be too rich or too thin."
Well, guess what? You can. It's very hard to have a
healty self-image in a world that constantly tells
you that you have to starve yourself to be attractive.
If you recognize yourself as a person who struggles
with negative body image, to the point where ou
cannot consume food without feeling horribly guilty
or making yourself throw up, please seek help
immediately. Remember that you are not alone and help
is out there.
Also, from a
guy's point of view, healthy bodies are much better
than "paper-thin, half-starved" ones.
Stop
the Cycle of Abuse: Individuals who are
abused at one time or another in their lives have to
work a million times harder to make their
relationships or friendships functional and healthy.
As emotional beings we have a tendency to recreate
our dysfunctional patterns in our current friendships
and relationships. For example, if a person's parents
are abusive that person is much more likely to seek
out an abusive lover or friend. This way relating is
familiar and comfortable to them. You don't have to
be a victim of abuse; please seek the help of a
trusted adult who has the power and resources to work
on your behalf.
When
One Door Closes... I've grown apart from
friends who lived right next door and stayed close
with friends who moved all the way across the country.
While some old friends will go and new friends will
come, the worst possible thing we can do is to grow
apart from out own needs. Growing apart from friends--although
painful--can often make room for new friends and new
experiences.
Growing
Apart and Different: At times I have
struggled to avoid letting myself grow apart from
certain friends, but the truth is we shouldn't have
to struggle so hard to maintain friendships. As time
passes, we become different people with diverging
interests. Not better or worse people, just different.
The people we become don't always mesh with our old
friends, and there is nothing worse than forcing a
frienship that no longer works. We don't always have
to have a falling out to seperate ourselves from
people--sometimes there's just nothing left.
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