Cast Logo
TV Screen

MAIN

CAST INFO

EPISODE GUIDE

QUOTES

TRIVIA

SURVEY

AUDIO

SCRIPTS

TOP 10 EPISODES

PHOEBE'S SONGBOOK

Smelly Cat

Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?

Smelly cat, smelly cat, it's not your fault.

They won't take you to the vet.

You're obviously not their favourite pet.

You may not be a bed of roses,

And you're no friend to those with noses.

Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?

Smelly cat, smelly cat, it's not your fault.

Hear The Song

Two of Them Kissed Last Night

There was a girl, we'll call her Betty,

And a guy, let's call him Neil.

Now I can't stress this point too strongly, this story isn't real.

middle part missed out by show

Now our Neil must decide, who will be the girl that he casts aside?

Will Betty be the one who he loves truly? or will it be the one who we'll call L-Lulie?

He must decide, he must decide, even though I made him up he must decide

Hear The Song


But Don't

There'll be times when you get older,

And you'll want to sleep with people,

Just to make them like you

BUT DON'T

Because that's another thing that you don't wanna do.....

Hear The Song

The Barnyard Animal Song

Oh the cow in the meadow goes moo.

Oh the cow in the meadow goes moo.

Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up,

And that's how we get hamburgers.


The Bisexual Song

Sometimes men love women.

And sometimes men love men.

Then there are bisexuals, though some just say they're kidding themselves


What Happened To Grandma?

Now grandma's a person who everyone likes,

She bought you a train and a bright shiny bike.

But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner and last time you saw her she looked so much thinner.

Now your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru, but the truth is she died and someday you will too


New York City Has No Power

New York City has no power,

And the milk is getting sour.

But to me this is not scary,

Cause I stay away from dairy


I'm In The Shower

I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song

Stop me if you've heard it.

My skin is soapy and my hair is wet

And Tegrin spelled backward is Nirget.

(pause, while Phoebe plays guitar)

Lather, rinse, repeat. Lather, rinse, repeat. Lather, rinse, repeat,

As needed!!!


Suicide and a Snowman

I made a man with eyes of coal and a smile so bewitchin'.

How was I supposed to know that my mom was dead in the kitchen?


Babies

They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch.

Soon they'll grow up and resent you so much.

Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why

And you cry and you cry and you cry

And you cry and you cry...

1