ACT ONE
(Minerva and Tantella are in a small, dusty cottage in the countryside, which is their home. It lies a stone-throw away from a walled village named Boinkarro, Spain. Minerva is sweeping dirt out one door, while Tantella is sweeping dirt inside from the other door. )

Tantella - 'Tis all about the village that the King of Spain, the mighty Rudolpho, doth seek to destroy our quaint village, hither beyond the wood.

Minerva - Dost thou not jest, oh sweetest and plumpest of mums? 'Tis not fact that Rudolpho doth own this, our village of Boinkarro, as 'tis circumscribed by the most honorable boundaries of his Kingdom of Spain?

Tantella - Ah, thou speak'st on the mark, fair beauteous child. He must be bored.

Minerva - Indeed he must. Dearest mum, must thou sweep thine dust forth into the humble abode?

Tantella - Aye, 'tis most necessary. (Minerva looks at Tantella disappointedly). What? Minerva - But alas, fair mother, those gentlemen who doth be fond of thy bountiful curvature shall not be pleases.

Tantella - What, ho! And I do mean ho...'Tis naught but your fancy that you doth dust the room. I dust you dust, we all do dust, m'lady. But as the rump of King Rudolpho is so colorfully ouchsome as to melt the finest of cocoa of foreign lands, so 'twill be that he must conquer mine bedroom 'twixt he conquer Boinkarro. Dust and all.

Minerva - Prithee, mother, what hast that to do with dusting?

Tantella - Er ... peace, break thee off, thou most nosy of dames - this here dust doth make me randy.