  
|
 |
|
 The biggest selling point of "Bleeders" is the box. It shows a pair of cool-looking monsters, and it tells you that it's a gothic horror movie starring Rutger Hauer (who played a scary serial killer in "The Hitcher") and written by Dan O'Bannon (who also wrote "Alien" and "Return of the Living Dead", both of which I recommend). Unfortunately, the movie turns out to be sluggish and rather silly despite all of its attempts to be serious. Aside from a few scenes where the monsters impale their victims and drink the blood from their wrists, there is nothing particularly horrific here. Sure, the monsters and some of the human characters are grotesque, but "Bleeders" is rather anemic as far as actual scares are concerned, and it takes a while before much happens. It does not really help to have monsters being the result of massive inbreeding since it implies weakness, but to the story's credit, at least it's not another spilled chemical scenario. Roy Dupris is credible as the inbred man related to the monsters, but the acting from the minor characters is generally awful, especially the old lady who carries a shotgun in her wheelchair. It's hard not to laugh at her when she's trying to scare people away with her hammy acting. While Rutger Hauer isn't nearly as bad as the other minor characters, he delivers a rather bland performance. Hauer has been a very respectable actor during the 80's, but ever since the 90's, his career has been on the downturn, and he has mostly sleepwalked through a number of direct-to-videos like "Bone Daddy" and "Omega Doom". Unfortunately, he doesn't snap out of this trend in "Bleeders", and the movie does not give him very much to work with anyway. The bottom line: Don't be fooled by the box. "Bleeders" is actually an anemic horror movie and a major disappointment considering who wrote the story behind it. |
|
QUARTER BY QUARTER ANALYSIS OF MOVIE
|
|
OVERALL RATING
** NOTE: The more dots on the domino, the higher the rating. 12 is a masterpiece. One or no dots is also a masterpiece, if you consider poop to be a gourmet ingredient.** |
    
|
|
Click here to see the list of other movie reviews.
Or go to the Worm-Hole home page to see some other amusing stuff!
The Worm-Hole Reviews are written by Matt Barnes.