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 "The Stay Awake": now there's a movie to keep your bleary eyes open. That should not be taken as an endorsement though. This one is every bit as bad as "The Last Slumber Party", one of the worst slumber party massacre-type movies ever made. Still, it will keep you awake because it's just hilariously awful. For some unknown reason, an executed serial killer from America ends up as a demon stalking girls (one of them is a rather masculine chain-smoker with big eyebrows and a low, low voice) at a reform school in Europe. As a demon, he can lurk around the hallways as a laughing, belching cloud of gas which inexplicably cries like a baby at times. He can possess fire hoses (of all things), and the movie is so silly that it shows things in the hose's point of view! And that's not all, folks. When he assumes a more humanoid form, he has enormous red eyes which can detonate cars from afar. If that isn't enough, some nutty guy decided to throw in a monster which looks like a cross between a squirrel and the Creature from the Black Lagoon! Don't look into its enormous orange eyes or else you might laugh yourself to death. It's unclear whether this monster is the ex-serial killer or one of his minions because nothing ever gets explained in this picture. If you're like most horror fans, then you would probably be expecting some nudity to compensate for all of the idiocy, but alas, there is none to be seen, not even in the big shower scene. The bottom line: Unless you're on a quest to find some of the worst movies ever made, stay away from "The Stay Awake". |
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QUARTER BY QUARTER ANALYSIS OF MOVIE
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OVERALL RATING
** NOTE: The more dots on the domino, the higher the rating. 12 is a masterpiece. One or no dots is also a masterpiece, if you consider poop to be a gourmet ingredient.** |
    
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The Worm-Hole Reviews are written by Matt Barnes.