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 "Vampire Happening"? Now that's about as weird as saying "a car is happening" or "rocks happening!" Maybe it only makes perfect sense to the Germans who have made this movie, even though they call it "Gebissen wird nur nachts", which translates approximately to "Will Bite Only at Night". Whatever you want to call it, it's a corny horror-comedy involving a sexy vampiress and a movie star who looks exactly like her. Most of the humor is based on silly characters doing silly things. For instance, there is the elderly butler who decides to wear a steel helmet so the vampire can't bite his neck, and who could forget the gay chauffeur who reacts effeminately to just about everything? Even the monks are silly. One of them looks like Mr. Bean and prances around the graveyard, and to top that, there's another monk who giggles while spying on a couple naked schoolgirls through his monastery window. Unintentionally but equally silly are the movie star's fans. These people hold up signs that read "We Like Betty" for crying out loud. Even after seeing over two decades worth of protests, political boosters, boxing and wrestling marks, I've never seen any of these people hold a sign that simply says "We Like ____ "! But to its credit, "Vampire Happening" has a good amount of frontal nudity (especially for a 1970 film), and at one point they literally serve breasts for dessert (though they look more like implants). Overall, the movie is not particularly funny or horrific, but fans of spoofy, silly horror films--such as "Transylvania 6-5000" and "Saturday the 14th"--might enjoy it. |
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QUARTER BY QUARTER ANALYSIS OF MOVIE
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OVERALL RATING
** NOTE: The more dots on the domino, the better the movie. 12 dots means it's extraordinary while zero dots means it's extraordinarily horrid. ** |
    
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The Worm-Hole Reviews are written by Matt Barnes.