Crazy For You


                              ACT  ONE

     FADE IN:


  4  INT.  DAILY PLANET  -  PIT  -  MORNING

     Lois and Clark are both working at their desks.  The rest of the pit is busy,
     as usual.

                         CLARK
                    (idly, while working)
               So, where do you want to go for dinner
               tonight?

                         LOIS
                    (also preoccupied)
               Go, as in go out?

                         CLARK
               Yeah, you know.  A date.  I am allowed to take
               my wife on a date, aren't I?

                         LOIS
               Well, I haven't got any objections, but you
               know as well as I do that the universe doesn't
               approve of us going out.  Something always
               happens.

                         CLARK
               Not always--

     His phone rings, cutting him off.  She looks over at him and smiles at this
     proof of her theory.  He shrugs helplessly and picks up the phone.

                         CLARK
                    (into phone)
               Clark Kent... Yes, I did... Oh really?... Thanks
               for returning my call, Sergeant.
                    (hangs up, turns to Lois)

                         LOIS
                    (looks over from her desk)
               News about Kevin?

                         CLARK
               Yep.  Seems he passed out in the patrol car,
               and when he came to, in the hospital, he didn't
               remember a thing.

                         LOIS
               And you said, this morning, he seemed as if he
               were in a trance--
                    (looks at him inquiringly)

                         CLARK
                    (nods agreement)
               --or drugged.  Superman asked them to take a
               blood sample, and send it to S.T.A.R. labs;
               with any luck Dr. Klein can find something for
               us.

                         LOIS
               Well, in the meantime, we'll have to find out all
               about poor Kevin.  Jimmy!

                         CLARK
                    (frowning)
               Yeah... I wish I knew how to find that girl from
               last night.

     JIMMY OLSEN walks up during this sentence, standing next to Clark's
     desk.

                         JIMMY
                    (grinning)
               Hey, CK, you're not supposed to be looking for
               girls, you're married now!

                         LOIS
                    (laughs)
               Thanks for reminding him, Jimmy, but in this
               case he's innocent.

                         CLARK
               In this case?  I'm always innocent!

                         LOIS
               Yes, to the grave disappointment of millions,
               worldwide...

                         CLARK
                    (pointedly)
               So, Jimmy, what have you got on our man
               Kevin?

     Lois and Jimmy exchange laughing glances at Clark's discomfort, then get
     back to business.

                         JIMMY
               Not much.  He's just out of college, lives in a
               cheap apartment, an entry-level broker at a big
               stock market-type firm.

                         LOIS
               Not usually the type to rob a convenience
               store.

                         CLARK
               Not usually... 

     As Lois and Clark look at each other and shrug, we

                                                        CUT TO:     


  5  INT.  BRIAN'S LAB  -  MID MORNING

     The camera pans over a chemist's work shop.  The desk is untidy, with
     books and papers everywhere.  The shelves of chemicals are neatly
     labeled, with every vial and bottle in order and labeled, the work spaces
     are clean and clear.  In the background, through a window, we can see a
     smaller office area.  A small television is on a shelf, tuned to a news
     program, but with the volume off.  Brian is measuring liquids into a test
     tube, frequently referencing the same battered notebook he had in the
     store.

     A door opens, and we see ANALISA PETERSON in the doorway, looking
     around in disdain.  She is in her early thirties, dressed very
     professionally, and very pretty.  She stands there for a moment.  When
     Brian doesn't look up, she knocks on the open door.

                         ANALISA
                    (plaintively)
               Brian, where have you been?

                         BRIAN
                    (looks up, startled)
               Working.  Hi, Analisa.

                         ANALISA
               But I called, and all I got was Stuart!

     Brian turns back to his work, measuring and mixing liquids together in a
     test tube, almost ignoring Analisa as they talk.

                         BRIAN
               Well, I didn't say I was here, did I?  I was field
               testing.

                         ANALISA
               Field testing what, exactly?  Brian, you told me
               that you could develop a tasteless, totally non-detectable vitamin additive.  With the health-food market today, that could earn us quite a
               tidy little income!  So have you been working
               on it or not?

                         BRIAN
                    (unapologetic)
               I guess you'd have to say not.  I found
               something much more interesting.

                         ANALISA
                    (groans)
               Brian, you've got to quit doing this.  Ever since
               high school, you've been so distractable! 
               When will you pick a goal and stick with it?

     The door bangs open again, and STUART stumbles in.  He's in his late
     teens, very scruffy-looking.

                         STUART
               Hey Dr. Shapiro, sorry I'm late, and I can't stay
               long, I have to get to the coffee shop, but...

     He cuts off in mid-ramble when he sees Analisa.  He stares at her
     worshipfully.

                         STUART
               Morning, Ms. Peterson, how are you?

                         ANALISA
               Fine.  Now, Brian, darling...

     She emphasizes the word "darling" and shoots a sharp glance at Stuart,
     to make sure the love-sick teenager gets the point.  He wilts, and goes
     about his business, clattering things in the background.

                         ANALISA
                    (continued)
               Brian, you've got to stay focused.  This is
               exactly why you lost your job at LexLabs.

     Brian looks annoyed.

                         STUART
               Hey, it wasn't Dr. Shapiro's fault that Luthor
               decided to take a header off a building.

     Analisa glares at him until he shrinks back off into the background.

                         BRIAN
               Analisa, if you would like to stop repeating
               ancient history just for a moment, I need to tell
               you something.

                         ANALISA
               Fine.  What?

                         BRIAN
               I've come up with something far more
               interesting than vitamins.  It's tasteless and
               non-detectable, all right, but it's not exactly
               health food.

                                                        CUT TO:     


  6  INT.  DAILY PLANET  -  PIT  -  MORNING

     Back at the Daily Planet, Clark is looking something up on the computer,
     with Lois looking over his shoulder.  Jimmy approaches hesitantly.

                         JIMMY
               Uh, Clark?  Could I talk to you a minute?

                         LOIS
               Am I in the way here?

                         JIMMY
               No!  I've got a kind of a problem, and I can use
               all the help I can get.

                         CLARK
               So, what's up?

                         JIMMY
                    (nervously)
               Well, see, I have a date for Saturday night,
               and I'm not quite sure what to do about it, and I
               figured you must be doing something right, so
               maybe you could help.

                         LOIS
               Jimmy, you've had lots of dates before, what's
               different about this one?

                         JIMMY
               It's not the date that's different... it's the girl. 
               Her name's Tracy, and I really like her, you
               know, really really like her, but what if I don't
               like her after I meet her?

                         CLARK
                    (confused)
               What?

                         JIMMY
                    (sheepish)
               I guess I didn't mention that I met her on the
               Internet?

                         CLARK
               No, you didn't... 

                         JIMMY
               Hey, it's not like I was trolling for girls... well,
               not exactly, anyway... I was just on Usenet
               talking about music, and I liked her messages. 
               Then we met up on the IRC and really hit it off. 
               

     Clark looks faintly baffled.  He turns to Lois, but she shrugs - it's all Greek
     to her.

                         JIMMY
                    (continued)
               So then we were e-mailing back and forth, and
               found out that we both live in Metropolis.  And
               she said, hey we ought to go out, and I said,
               sure why not, and we set up this date, but
               now...
                    (sighs)

                         CLARK
               Now you're getting nervous.

                         JIMMY
               Yeah.  What if we don't get along in person? 
               Maybe she's got an annoying voice, or she
               won't like me...
                    (beat)

               There's no way she'll like me.

                         CLARK
               She'll like you, Jimmy, how could she not?

                         JIMMY
               Lots of women have managed not to like me,
               CK.

                         PERRY
                    (off-stage)
               Clark!!  Get in here!

     Clark shrugs and exits to Perry's office, leaving Lois to deal with Jimmy.

                         LOIS
               Jimmy, she already likes you, if what you're
               telling us about e-mail and I-R-whatever is
               true.

                         JIMMY
                    (glumly)
               Maybe.  

                                                        CUT TO:     

  7  INT.  PERRY'S OFFICE - SAME TIME

     PERRY WHITE motions Clark to come into the office and shuts the door
     behind him, while keeping a close eye on the newsroom.

                         PERRY
               Has Jimmy been telling you about this girl?

                         CLARK
               Well, yeah, actually.  How did you know?

     Perry dismisses the question with a wave of his hand.  He's the Chief
     Editor, he just knows these things.

                         PERRY
               I want you to keep an eye on him for me.  I
               don't trust this Internet stuff, and this girl really
               has him down for the count.  I want to make
               sure it doesn't turn out to be a sucker punch.


  8  INT.  THE DAILY PLANET - LOIS'S DESK - SAME TIME

     Jimmy is continuing to ramble on, oblivious to Lois' desire to get back to
     work.

                         JIMMY
               Do you think I should wear a suit?

                         LOIS
                    (smiles)
               Not if you're going to the movies.

                         JIMMY
                    (doesn't notice the joke)
               Because I thought a suit would make me look
               better, more successful...

                         LOIS
                    (more serious)
               Jimmy.  Don't try to pretend to be what you're
               not... it only gets you in trouble.  Believe me.

                                                        CUT TO:     

  9  INT.  PERRY'S OFFICE - SAME TIME

                         CLARK
               I don't know how I'm supposed to watch over
               him, Chief - he's too old for a chaperon--

                         PERRY
               Judas Priest!  Haven't you ever had a sneaky
               thought in your life?

     Perry eyes Clark, who's looking uncomfortable and playing with his
     glasses.

                         PERRY
                    (continued, relenting)
               Well, ask Lois.  The point is--

     Through the window, Clark spots a woman entering the newsroom,
     holding a bundled up apron in one hand.

                         CLARK
               That's the girl from the bridge!

                         PERRY
               What?

                         CLARK
               Never mind.

     Clark starts for the door, when he sees the girl approaching Jimmy.  He
     stops, confusing Perry, and uses his SUPERHEARING to pick up their
     conversation.  As he tunes in, we

                                                        CUT TO:     

 10  INT. DAILY PLANET - LOIS' DESK

     Up close, we see that the girl is pretty, in her early twenties.

                         GIRL
               Excuse me, are you Jimmy Olsen?  

                         JIMMY
                    (confused)
               Yes.

                         GIRL
                    (smiles widely)
               Hi, I'm Tracy!  

     He looks shocked, and Lois looks very interested.

                         TRACY
                    (smile falters)
               I know we weren't going to meet until Saturday,
               but the waiting was driving me crazy, so I said,
               what the heck, I know where he works, I mean,
               you work, so why not?  I just work down the
               street, actually, and I came into the city early
               today...

     Jimmy still hasn't recovered.

                         LOIS
               Hi, I'm Lois Lane, I work with Jimmy.  He was
               just telling me a little about you.  You met on
               the Internet, he said?

                                                        CUT TO:     


 11  INT.  PERRY'S OFFICE

     Perry and Clark are both watching the scene avidly.

                         PERRY
               Oh, boy, I'd bet anything that's Tracy.  Get out
               there, Clark!  And find out if she's a keeper!

     With determination and no plan, Clark heads out the door, and the
     camera tracks ahead of him back to the group around Lois' desk.

 12  INT. DAILY PLANET - LOIS' DESK

     Despite Lois' best efforts to distract her, Tracy is looking nervously at
     Jimmy.

                         TRACY
               Jimmy?  Are you okay?

                         JIMMY
               Oh!  Yeah, I'm fine... Just a little surprised, is
               all.

     Jimmy looks down at his outfit and brushes off imaginary lint.  Clark joins
     the group, slipping an arm around Lois with a big smile.

                         CLARK
               Hi, I'm Clark Kent, and I see you've met my
               wife.  You're Tracy, right?

     Tracy nods.  Jimmy looks pleadingly to Clark.  He's lost, he doesn't know
     what to do.

                         CLARK
                    (continued)
               Tell you what.  Lois and I have some time to
               kill before we go over to S.T.A.R. Labs, and we
               were just about to take a break...

     Lois looks briefly confused, but follows his lead.

                         CLARK
                    (continued)
               ...so why don't you two join us?  Maybe we
               could go get some... ah...

     He looks around for a clock - it's ten a.m.  Too early for lunch.

                         LOIS
               --some coffee!

                         CLARK
               Yes, some coffee would be good, I think, don't
               you think so, Jimmy?

                         JIMMY
               Um, yeah, sure.  Tracy?

                         TRACY
               Well, there's the coffee shop I work at...

     She holds up the bundle in her hand to show the logo of PJ's Coffee
     Shoppe.

                         CLARK
               Great!  PJ's it is, then.  

     Clark herds the group out of the newsroom, and we

                                                        CUT TO:     


 13  INT.  BRIAN'S LAB  -  MID MORNING

     Brian has been showing Analisa his notes, which are spread out
     everywhere.  She holds up her hands impatiently.

                         ANALISA
                    (skeptical)
               So what you're saying is, you can suppress a
               person's free will and higher brain functions?

                         BRIAN
               Yes, although I need more tests--

     He's cut off by a resounding CRASH from the next room.

                         STUART
                    (off-stage)
               Sorry!

     Analisa rolls her eyes.

                         ANALISA
               Why do you put up with that klutz, Brian?  He's
               useless and he's creepy.

                         BRIAN
               Oh, no, he's not useless.  Not useless at all.

     Stuart comes into the shot, now marginally neater in appearance and
     wearing a white apron.

                         STUART
               I've gotta get to work, Dr. Shapiro; do you have
               another batch?

     Brian hands him the test tube he's been preparing, and as Stuart leaves,
     the camera focuses on his uniform, clearly showing the logo of PJ's
     Coffee Shoppe.


                                                       FADE OUT     


                           END OF ACT ONE



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