Chapter 7

Joseph tossed and turned on the narrow cot, beads of sweat appearing on his forehead. The headache was back. His jaw clenched and he squeezed his eyes shut against the pain. It was a long time since he’d had a headache of this intensity for so long. They’d been frequent during the first year after the accident but he couldn’t remember the last one like this.

He eventually sat up and swivelled around so that he was sitting on the side of the bed. He lit a lamp, keeping the flame down low, and his eyes alighted on the dream catcher he’d removed from his pocket when he undressed. He picked it up and ran his fingertips over the pattern as she’d done. He held it up to his nose, almost expecting to catch a hint of her scent. His heart suddenly seemed to be beating out of rhythm. He closed his eyes and there was the room again, indistinct but recognisable. There were two windows through which bright sunlight streamed – one to the side, and another in front and a little to the right. Lace curtains fluttered at the windows in the summer breeze and outside a dog barked. There appeared to be a wood-stained baby’s cradle under the window in front. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to concentrate, there must be more to this fleeting impression, but try as he might he could add no more detail to the image. As he’d done this afternoon, he growled in frustration. Was what he saw real, or something his imagination had conjured up? And if it was real, what did it mean? Did he have a family somewhere? Or was it just a longing which had been awakened by the arrival of the beautiful woman with whom he’d spent the day? Why all this uncertainty and searching now? He’d been through it all before, with no results.

He abruptly blew out the lamp, wiped his damp face with the corner of the bed-sheet and slumped back dejectedly against his pillow. He’d talk to Doc in the morning.

********************************

Michaela woke to the strange sensation of someone calling her name. She sat up, disorientated, and then realised where she was. She glanced at the clock on the mantle to discover she’d overslept. She wasn’t surprised; after all it had been the early hours of the morning before she’d finally drifted off into a restless sleep. Her mind had been whirling with the events of yesterday.

"Dr Mike! Dr Mike!" Someone *was* calling her name, someone she could now hear clumping up the stairs at great speed. She scrambled up out of bed, pulled on her robe and flung the door open to reveal Ned Scott, the blacksmith, red-faced and out of breath. "Ya gotta come Dr Mike ….. its Doc ….. Joseph told me ta git ya ….," he panted.

Michaela momentarily glanced down at her bare feet and bedroom attire. There was no time to dress. She quickly finished buttoning her robe, slid her feet into slippers, grasped her black medical bag and followed Ned out the door and into the street.

Joseph glanced up anxiously as she entered Doc’s surgery. He was kneeling beside the elderly man, supporting his head in his hands. "Dr Mike …. he collapsed just after I got here ….. he aint woken up …..," he implored, tears very close to the surface.

Michaela immediately knelt on the wooden floor and felt for a pulse. It was weak and rapid. She lifted the man’s gnarled hands and examined his fingers, the tips of which had a bluish tinge. He was also breathing heavily and noisily and his brow was cool yet slightly sweaty to the touch. "How long before I came?" she asked Joseph authoritatively.

"Just a few minutes ….. called Ned right away," replied the younger man. "He gonna be alright?"

"I hope so ….. its his heart," replied Michaela. She opened her bag and began to search through it, finally withdrawing a small black pouch from which she tipped a very small amount of powder. She administered the digitalis and observed her patient closely. She turned to see Ned hovering anxiously in the doorway. "Ned ….. please help Sul …. Joseph …. lift him ….. Is there a recovery room?"

With a nod of his head, Joseph indicated a doorway off to the left. "Through there ….," he said.

"Good ….. now lift him carefully …. Make sure you keep his head higher than his feet ….," instructed Michaela. The two men carried their precious burden gingerly into the next room and placed him on the wide bed. "Sit him up against the pillows," she instructed them, as she piled the pillows up to form a backrest. When Doc was sitting, supported by pillows and blankets, Ned nervously retreated to the doorway, but Sully stayed at her side. "What now?" he asked worriedly.

"Remove his boots and loosen his belt," instructed Michaela, not looking up from her examination. She lifted her patient’s eyelid and peered into his eye and again took his pulse. "The pulse is stabilising," she noted, an eye on her pocket watch. As she spoke Doc’s eyelids suddenly fluttered and he moved his hand agitatedly. She immediately cupped his cheek with her hand. "Shh …. its alright," she said softly. "You collapsed …. but we’re here with you now ….."

Doc moaned and grasped at his left arm. "Pain in chest …. and arm," he croaked.

Michaela nodded. "That’s what I thought," she murmured. She glanced across at Sully who was watching everything with intense interest. "Can you help me get him undressed and more comfortable?"

Joseph nodded and then asked anxiously, "He’s gonna be alright?"

"I’m here and listening you two," murmured Doc, now more alert, though his brow remained creased in pain. "I’ll be fine …." He turned his eyes on Michaela. "Right Dr Mike? ….." He took a deep breath. "I’d say a mild coronary occlusion ….. correct?

She nodded. "That would be my diagnosis. Though I’m not so sure about the mild part … You’ve obviously had signs before. Angina?"

The elderly doctor nodded. "A little …," he conceded.

"Well … you’re going to have to take it easy for the next few days ….. and I’ll have to monitor your condition carefully. How do you feel now?"

"Pain’s subsiding ….. feel a little weak …," replied Doc. Michaela nodded in response.

"What’s a …. a ….. coronry ….oc ….?" asked Joseph suddenly.

"A heart attack," explained Michaela immediately, aware of Sully’s confusion and anxiety.

"So ….. it could happen agin huh?" he asked, his eyes fixed on Doc’s strained, grey features.

"Lets hope not," replied Michaela assuredly. "With our attention over the next couple of days … he should be fine ….. but he’s going to have to take things easy for a while …. allow time for his heart to heal ….."

"I’m still here you two," murmured Doc from the bed.

Michaela smiled. "And how’s the pain?" she asked gently.

"Still there ….. but not as bad ….. feels like Ned fixed a metal band round my chest …. and pulled it too tight." He squirmed a little against the pillows.

"We need to make you a little more comfortable ….. and then the best thing for you is sleep," recommended Michaela.

Despite the pain in his chest Doc smirked. "Yes doctor," he said dutifully. He suddenly looked her up and down. "Ah …. you look like the one’s who’s ready for bed."

Michaela blushed. "I … I …. didn’t have time to dress …. Ned said it was urgent …. which it was …"

"I have no complaints," said Doc. "I’ll wager Joseph here doesn’t either …." The younger man reddened. "I’m sure he’s quite capable of helping me here if you want to go and dress."

"I’d rather not leave you just yet," murmured Michaela. "Not while you’re in pain …" She glanced down at her unconventional attire. "But perhaps …. It’ll take only a few minutes …"

"That would make you an even more unique woman Dr Mike," jeered Doc good-naturedly. Michaela’s eyebrows rose in a query. The elderly doctor explained, "I’ve yet to meet a woman who can dress in a only a few minutes."

Michaela’s back straightened and her eyes sparkled. "Well … you’ve met one now," she said with a grin, and strode out of the room, but not before casting a meaningful glance at Sully.

*******************************

Doc lay sound asleep in the middle of the large bed in the recovery room. Afternoon sun streamed in the high window, warming the air a little. Michaela again leant forward and took the old man’s wrist in her hand, trying not to disturb him. She consulted her pocket watch and smiled when his pulse appeared to be steady. "Good," she said quietly.

"Alright?" asked Joseph from his seat on the opposite side of the bed. He’d refused to leave Doc’s side, even after Michaela had assured him that his friend was doing fine, for now.

She nodded and leaned back in her chair. There’d been a familiarity to their vigil which had disconcerted her. So many times in the past he had sat with her, or supported her, when one of their family or townspeople was ill. And yet there was also a strangeness to this situation. Their conversation was stilted, as if they had little in common, which, on Joseph’s part, he thought to be the case. She was also all too conscious of his physical presence. Their kiss and closeness yesterday had filled her dreams last night, and now concern about how she was going to tell him of his past consumed her waking hours.

"Dr Mike ….. can I ask ya somethin’?" asked Joseph suddenly.

Michaela’s eyes flew across the expanse of bed between them, and up to his face. She replied cautiously, "Yes …. of course …"

"Ya don’ haveta answer ….. if ya think I’m bein’ nosy …"

Michaela nodded.

"Well …. I was thinkin’ …..," began Joseph. "What brought ya here … ta Paynesville? I mean ….. well …. folks don’ usually come here for their health or nothin’ …"

Michaela swallowed and took a deep breath. "It was a …. a …. quest?"

Joseph’s brow creased in puzzlement. "A quest?"

"Yes ….. I was searching for something …."

"Oh …" Joseph considered what she’d said for a moment and then asked, "You lookin’ to set up a new medical practice somewhere?"

Despite the disconcerting topic of conversation, Michaela chuckled. "No …. rest assured …. I haven’t arrived to take over Doc’s job …"

"Then what were ya lookin’ for?"

The smile disappeared from her face. "Ah …. It was a personal quest ….. I was looking for …."

"For?"

"For someone …… that’s all I’m prepared to say for now," finished Michaela in a rush. She stood and arched her back to ease the tension in her body. "I think I’ll take a breath of fresh air …. if you don’t mind sitting with Doc for a while longer ….." Sully nodded and she walked to the door. As she exited she turned to find his eyes still on her, a puzzled frown on his face. She sighed and headed across to the guesthouse.

Joseph watched her go, his mind racing. What could she be seeking? And how long was it going to keep her in Paynesville? He shook his head ruefully. Pipedreams, that’s what he was entertaining, and the sooner he dismissed them as that the better. He turned back to the bed to find Doc awake and observing him.

"Women can be confusing hmmm?" murmured Doc.

Joseph nodded. "Very."

"You have a good time yesterday?"

"Yeah …. She’s good company ….. we rode out to the creek …."

"Don’t remember you ever taking a lady out riding before," mused Doc.

Joseph reddened. "I aint," he admitted.

"Made an exception for this one huh? She’s a beautiful woman …"

"Yeah …. she is ….."

"Seems to me you’ve taken a fancy to her."

Joseph’s startled eyes flew to the old man and then he looked a little sheepish. "Hope it don’ show too much," he conceded. He leaned back in his chair and placed his hands behind his head. "Aint no future in it anyways…."

"What makes you say that?"

"Lady like that aint gonna be interested in a fella who don’ even know who he is …. an’ certainly aint educated ….."

"Did you tell her about the amnesia?"

"Uh huh .."

"What was her reaction?"

Joseph paused, considering the question carefully, then he shrugged his shoulders. "She wanted to know all about it …."

"Yes ….. but did she seem adversely effected by the revelation?"

"No …."

"No?"

"No," stated Joseph more positively. He leant forward, closer to the old man sitting up in the bed. "She asked a whole lotta questions …. then I showed her the tree …. you know …. the fallen one I used ta practice walkin’ across an’ then ….." His face suddenly coloured with the memory.

"And then?" prompted Doc.

"An’ then we kissed."

"Uh huh!"

Joseph turned inquiring eyes on his friend. "What’s that supposed to mean?" he asked, a touch indignantly.

This time Doc shrugged his shoulders. "Sounds like she’s interested to me …."

Deciding he’d gone this far, Joseph ventured further, "Doc ….. I …. I ….. think I ….. maybe I …"

"Out with it lad …"

"Maybe …. well …. It wasn’t just a little kiss …."

Doc chuckled. "You got a little carried away huh? I hope you were suitably apologetic ..…"

With a sheepish look, Joseph explained. "I tried …. she wouldn’ let me …"

"I see ….. so she didn’t mind, hmmm? ….. that it was more than a little kiss .…"

"No …. said she wanted it as much as I did …. I was kinda embarrassed ‘bout the way I’d behaved …. but she didn’ seem ta be ….." He trailed off, again recalling with some excitement, the events of the day before. "Doc…. I was wonderin’ …. She don’ seem the sorta person who’s gonna ….. well …. be …. "

Doc tried vainly to hide his grin. "Who’s going to make free with her favours?"

Joseph straightened indignantly. "Course she aint!" he exclaimed. "I’m sure she aint like that!"

This time Doc grinned openly. "Reckon you just answered your own question Joseph …. She’s interested alright."

The younger man sat back in his chair and took a deep breath. "You think?"

"Uh huh ….. but you don’t want to rush her …. She seems to have a lot on her mind ….."

Joseph grinned. "I got all the time in the world Doc," he rejoined, and his eyes suddenly shone with a new light.

Chapter 8

Michaela leant towards her patient as he came awake. "How are you feeling this morning Doc? Any pain?" she asked, gently brushing his wiry grey hair back from his forehead.

The elderly doctor smiled back at her. "Now that’s a picture I like when I wake up in the morning," he remarked cheekily. "A beautiful woman bending over me."

Michaela blushed. "Seems you’re feeling a lot better," she said with a smile. "Your friend will be pleased."

Doc looked around the room. "You finally got him out of here heh?"

Again Michaela smiled. "He was here all night …. but when I came in this morning I persuaded him to go and change and have some breakfast. I daresay he’ll be back very soon." She pulled out her pocket watch and grasped his wrist. After a few moments she said softly, "Good … pulse is steady …"

"You hold my hand like that any longer and it won’t be," grinned Doc.

"I see you’re *much* better this morning," chuckled Michaela. "But that doesn’t mean you can resume your normal activities ….. You’re going to have to convalesce for at least four or five days ….. The people of this town would never forgive me if you were to suffer another attack."

"I know one person who would forgive you anything," advised Doc sagely. Michaela’s eyes flew to his. He took a deep breath and continued soberly, "I’ve been thinking about this ever since my attack yesterday …. I hope you’ll listen to what I have to say." Michaela nodded, her face revealing some of the anxiety she felt. He went on, "Many times in my life I’ve been accused of meddling …. sometimes warranted …. sometimes not ….. A doctor often has to meddle in order to achieve the desired result. You’d be aware of that." Michaela nodded again. "And one of the privileges of advanced age is that I feel I have the right to say what I wish …. and I’ll suffer the meddler tag if its so applied …." He paused and observed Michaela carefully as she leant back in her chair and clasped her hands tightly in her lap. "So Dr Mike ….. I’m going to say this ….. because I’m fond of Joseph ….. we’ve become very close during the past few years."

As he spoke Michaela’s face paled a little and her body tensed. Was he going to warn her off becoming too attached to Sully?

He reached out to rest his wrinkled hand gently over her tightly clenched fingers and said sincerely, "You were right not to tell him at first ….. but now its time ….. he deserves to know …."

Michaela’s face suddenly blanched and her eyes glittered with tears. She bit her lip, her teary eyes fixed on his kind old face.

He expanded, "Who he is …. his past …. your place in it …."

She swallowed the very large lump in her throat and muttered, "How did you know?"

Doc smiled. "One has only to observe the two of you together in one room …. to know …. Oh to have someone look at me the way you look at him …. and he looks at you …."

She shook her head and murmured, "That can’t be the only reason …"

"No …," he said guardedly. "There were many clues …. Your sudden appearance and decision to stay ….. I’m guessing that faint followed seeing Joseph for the first time …. am I right?" Michaela nodded self-consciously and Doc went on, "I’ll never forget your face when he and I walked towards you in the dining-room afterwards…. It was as if you’d seen a ghost … which technically you had …." He chuckled at his own joke. "Your evasiveness when I asked about the whereabouts of your husband …. and then your mention of his love of poetry …. Joseph spends hours reading and has a special liking for modern American poets …. Your son and friend’s protective attitude …. It wasn’t difficult to put all the clues together ….. and I’d always anticipated that someone would eventually come along to ‘claim’ him ….. Also, speaking candidly Dr Mike, I have a feeling you’re not the sort of woman who would so quickly fall into any man’s arms."

Michaela blushed and then dropped her head despairingly into her hands. "I wanted to tell him ….," she muttered.

"But you were worried about his reaction ….. am I right?"

She nodded. "I wanted to do some research into his condition …. to know that I wouldn’t be harming him ….. And now I just don’t know *how* to tell him. I can’t just blurt out …. ‘You’re Byron Sully …. and I know all about you’ …." A tear rolled unchecked down her cheek.

"He has to know …."

"And I want to tell him …. but how? …. I don’t want him to be angry with me …. for not telling him …. I couldn’t stand that ….. I couldn’t go on if I lost him again …."

"Joseph is a reasonable man ….. who is desperate to know of his past life …. He’ll listen …."

"But will he understand?"

Doc shrugged his shoulders. "We’ll have to wait and see ….. but you don’t have a choice Dr Mike …. You must tell him …."

She nodded and lowered her head, the tears dropping silently onto her green skirt.. She absent-mindedly ran her fingers through the wetness, her thoughts jumbled.

A sudden banging of the surgery door heralded Sully’s return. Michaela straightened and turned her back to the door, reluctant to let him see her tear-stained face. She swiped at the tears and took a deep breath while Doc observed her compassionately.

Joseph entered the silent room to be greeted by his smiling elderly friend. He glanced down at Dr Mike who offered no greeting and would not meet his eyes. His attention returned worriedly to Doc. "Everythin’ alright?" he asked.

"Everything’s fine. I’m feeling much better this morning," replied Doc, with a sympathetic smile. "Dr Mike and I were talking …." He paused. "Perhaps it would be best if you went back to work …. You must have jobs to complete …"

Joseph regarded him in puzzlement. "Was it somethin’ I did?" he asked, his tone low.

Michaela’s heart almost broke. How like Sully to immediately sense there was something wrong and then to blame himself.

"No lad ….. its nothing you did," replied Doc reassuringly. "Dr Mike’s just feeling a little nostalgic is all …. She’ll be alright in a while …. Perhaps you could join both of us for lunch later? …"

Joseph nodded, his eyes fixed on Michaela’s back. "Alright," he said softly. He placed his hand gently on her shoulder. "If there’s anythin’ I can do to make ya feel better …."

Michaela shook her head, not trusting herself to speak, but she did place her hand over his and gave it a reassuring squeeze. That seemed to satisfy him for the moment. He nodded to Doc and said, "I’ll be back round noon …" He reluctantly removed his hand from her shoulder and quietly left.

Michaela and Doc watched him go, and it wasn’t until they heard the door click shut that Doc suddenly stated, "He has memories you know."

Yet again Michaela’s eyes flew back to his. "He does?"

"Uh huh …. impressions ….. feelings ….. odd flashes …. He’s talked to me about them …. Its your task to fill in the blanks …. to organise those memories for him so that they make sense to him …."

"But he doesn’t remember me," murmured Michaela in a small, despairing voice.

"He doesn’t have to ….. "

"What do you mean?"

"You love him hmmm?’

She sighed. "More than life itself," she returned soulfully.

"Somewhere buried deep down he knows that …. In just five days you’ve managed to do what no other woman in this town has managed in four years …. You’ve awakened a hunger in him only you can satisfy." Doc sighed. "Age has taught me that there are very few loves with the strength to transcend memory …..to survive despite seemingly insurmountable odds …. I believe yours has …. He felt a bond with you from the moment he picked you up off that porch and brought you in here …." Michaela was trying desperately to quell the sobs which were building up in her chest and threatening to burst forth. She turned her hand and grasped Doc’s. He continued his musing. "Its as if he’s been waiting for you …. to rescue him …. to bring him out of the darkness he’s been in for the past four years." The old man suddenly reddened. "I sound like an old sentimental fool," he muttered.

Michaela shook her head, tears now flowing freely down her face. "No …. no you don’t," she rejoined softly. "At least not to me."

"So you’ll tell him?"

"I always intended to …"

"Soon?"

She nodded.

"Good." He let go of her hand and leaned back against the pillows. "Now tell me all about my friend ….and how you managed to find him after so long …. I too need to know …."

For the next two to three hours Michaela told Doc all about Sully, of events in their lives of which even some of her friends were unaware or at least uninformed. She spoke of their visit to Boston, their encounters with their wonderful Cheyenne friends and the desperate dog soldiers, their escapades in Washington, the massacre at Washita, Sully’s months in hiding, their desperate search in Mexico, Christmases past, birthdays, their joys and sorrows, and of course the birth of their beautiful daughter; for in Doc she had found a kindred spirit who cared, as a father would for a son, for a man who together they must lead out of the darkness …….

*****************************

Joseph once again glanced worriedly over at the closed door of Doc’s surgery, his mind only partially attending to the tabletop he was attempting to sand smooth. Knowing that Dr Mike was upset about something was eating away at him. He so desperately hoped it had nothing to do with their ride into the woods on Sunday, or with Doc’s heart attack. Right now he needed them both so much.

He shook his head ruefully. Despite Doc’s assurances that Dr Mike was interested in him, he still found it difficult to believe that a beautiful, intelligent woman like her could come to regard him as anything more than an acquaintance, even a patient, with an intriguing condition. Since their kiss out in the woods she seemed to fill all his waking thoughts and at night, his dreams. Watching her with Doc yesterday, seeing how she managed to combine the professional side of being a doctor with the soft, caring side of being a compassionate woman, awed him. He refused to acknowledge the fact that she might only stay in Paynesville for a short while and then disappear as abruptly as she’d arrived, back to her life in Colorado Springs.

He suddenly glanced back at his workshop. Why did the name of that particular town seem so familiar? He strode to the door and stood contemplating the shelves of books which lined one wall. Was it something he’d read recently? He shrugged his shoulders. There weren’t a lot of books written about the frontier, but he figured he’d read every one published in the last few years. The name probably came up in one of them. He turned and sauntered back to his workbench in the sun.

An hour or so later he glanced up from his work to see Dr Mike’s friend Hank heading his way. His body automatically tensed. He was still a little unsure of the relationship between the two and the possibility of more than friendship made his stomach turn over. He regarded his possible rival intently - much taller than he, long, fair hair permanently dishevelled, somewhat garish vest, gun and holster hanging slackly on his hips. Was this the sort of man who would interest Dr Mike?

As Hank approached Sully, who was busily staining a tabletop, his footsteps faltered. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. Just as he was deciding to turn back, Sully looked up and acknowledged his presence with a diffident, "Hey."

Hank nodded in reply and strolled over to lean nonchalantly against the corral fence. "Hey …. beautiful day aint it?" he began. "Always this warm in November?"

Joseph shook his head. "Nah … some day’s are real cold …. but when the sun’s out …." He trailed off.

"Much colder back home …. could even be snow on the mountains by now …," offered the barkeep.

Joseph chuckled. "Don’ see too much snow down here …. though some winters the mountains behind ya have snow …." He dipped his brush into the open tin of stain and went back to his work.

Hank turned to peer into the distance. Mt Taylor seemed to loom over Paynesville in the same way Pike’s Peak did at home. He shrugged his shoulders. "Kinda dry too ….," he commented.

"Yeah …. we aint had heavy rain for months …. maybe with the winter …."

"Well I aint stickin’ around to see it," said Hank, at last arriving at his purpose. "Me an’ Matthew’re headin’ home on the afternoon stage."

"Uh huh ….. Dr Mike told me," acknowledged Joseph. "Said ya had a hotel in Colorado Springs that ya gotta git back to …"

"Yeah …. bin away too long already …." Hank paused and then took a deep breath. "Look …. this probably won’t make a lotta sense to ya …. an’ I promised Michaela I wouldn’ say anythin’ …. but well … her an’ me’re friends …. an’ it wouldn’ sit right if I didn’ speak to ya before I went home." He shuffled his feet in the dry dust of the yard.

Joseph, becoming aware of Hank’s discomfit, placed the wet brush across the top of the tin and stood to tensely face him.

Hank continued. "I just wanted ta say …. well …. that lady ….." He nodded towards Doc’s surgery across the road. "She’s bin through an awful lot the last few years …. an’ me …. an’ a few other folks’ve bin lookin’ out for her ….." Sully nodded. "What I’m tryin’ ta say is that she don’ deserve any more heartache … alright? …. So if ya fixin’ ta let her down …. or not treat her right …. Then ya’ll answer ta me …. an’ a lotta her other friends ….. Ya understand me?"

Joseph regarded the tall hotel owner in puzzlement. "I … I …. I’d never hurt her," he said sincerely.

"Yeah well …. Ya might think that now …. but somethin’ might happen ta change that …. All I’m askin’ is that ya think first before hurtin’ her agin …. She aint as strong as she makes out."

Joseph’s puzzlement, rather than being appeased, increased. "I aint given ya any cause ta think I’d do anythin’ to hurt her have I?" he asked. "She say somethin’?"

"Nah … course not …. She don’ have to …. I know her …. an’ I know you …. Just askin’ ya ta be careful …"

"You don’ know me at all," retorted Joseph. "An’ I aint fixin’ ta hurt her …. I’d die before I’d do that …"

Hank shrugged his shoulders, realising he’d probably said too much. "I’m just warnin’ ya," he said dismissively. "When me an’ Matthew leave she aint gonna have anyone to look out for her."

"I’ll be here Hank …. an’ she’ll be just fine."

The barkeep shrugged his shoulders again. "Just so’s ya know," he said warningly. "Just so’s ya know." He straightened, flicked a speck from his coat and sauntered away back towards the saloon, while Joseph watched him go, a puzzled frown marring his features.

*******************************

Joseph flung the blanket back and rolled onto his side, punching his pillow into a more comfortable form as he did so. It was a warm night for November, and yet again he couldn’t sleep. He sighed in frustration. Ever since the strange conversation with Hank out in the yard and then the rather strained atmosphere at lunch with Doc and Dr Mike, he’d been besieged with an uneasy restlessness. His previous, somewhat predictable, simple life seemed to be changing and he was powerless to stop it.

He abruptly tumbled out of the narrow bed, stretched, picked up his trousers from the chair on which he’d carelessly flung them last night, pulled them on and wandered out into the moonlit night. He rather liked this time. Around him everything was still and peaceful, and the touch of dew in the air made everything smell different, fresher. He felt like the only person alive on the earth.

He stretched again, turning his face up to the sky. There seemed to be a million stars tonight, and the moon was enormous, casting faint shadows all around him. He peered over towards Doc’s. Dr Mike had offered to stay through the night this time, while he’d stay with Doc in the morning. His friend seemed to be improving by the hour. This afternoon he’d seemed like his old self, though Dr Mike had warned him to be careful.

Suddenly, in the gloom of the surgery porch he caught a movement. He strained to see what it was and then she stepped forward, and the moonlight shimmered on her long coppery hair. He took a deep breath and momentarily wondered whether it was his mind playing tricks on him, that maybe this was yet another dream. But then she moved again and he knew it was truly her. Not knowing what compelled him, he quickly moved inside to pull on his soiled shirt, leaving it unbuttoned, and then quietly walked across the street towards her. As he neared he could see she was staring up at the sky, her mind obviously elsewhere. She hadn’t noticed he was there. He said quietly, "Couldn’ sleep?"

Michaela started nervously and then smiled when she realised who it was. "No …. night’s warm isn’t it?" She looked up into the sky again. "So many stars …."

"Yeah," he replied. "They’re like wildflowers …. keep appearin’ when they think no-one’s watchin’."

She chuckled. "You couldn’t sleep either?"

"Nah …. bit restless …. Doc alright?"

"Mmm …. sleeping like a baby ….."

"He’s gonna be alright?"

"Uh huh …. for now …. He’ll have to watch himself though …. His heart is weak …"

Joseph nodded and walked a little closer so he could discern her features more clearly. "How ‘bout you?" he inquired softly. "You alright?"

Michaela lowered her eyes to the dusty ground. "I’m fine," she replied quietly, but not too convincingly.

"Anythin’ I can do ta help?" he asked, his heart aching for her.

She shook her head.

"I wanna help ….. if I can …."

She slowly raised her eyes to his. "Thank-you," she said sincerely.

"Don’ like seein’ ya sad …."

"I’m not sad ….. just have a lot of things on my mind ….. I’ll explain ….. soon ….," she murmured. "Soon."

"I’d like that …." He stepped even closer. "You missin’ the fellas already?"

"Perhaps a little … especially Matthew," she replied disconsolately. "He wanted to stay here with me …. but he has a fledgling law practice at home he needed to return to …."

Joseph heaved a silent sigh of relief. It wasn’t Hank she was pining for. He reached out and tucked a wisp of her hair back behind her ear and his pulse suddenly quickened alarmingly.

Michaela shivered at his touch. She longed for his so familiar arms to enclose her, to hold her lovingly close and safe. He stood there before her, his shirt unbuttoned, his chest gleaming in the moonlight, his blue eyes appealing, and she was suddenly aroused, embarrassingly so. She crossed her arms over her chest and smiled shyly at him. "I’ll have to go back inside in a minute … to check on Doc."

Joseph nodded and said regretfully, "I guess so …" His eyes locked with hers with an intensity that made their world suddenly stand still. He instinctively reached out and took her hand, his thumb caressing her palm tenderly. He heard her sigh and then she was in his arms, her cheek against his bare chest, her arms around his back. He held her close, revelling in the smell of her silky hair under his chin, the feel of her softness against his muscular body, silently offering all the comfort and love he could give her. He felt her move and then she was peering up at him, her mouth tantalisingly close. He couldn’t resist. He lowered his head and claimed her lips with his, in a prolonged, loving kiss. There was not the urgent hunger of Sunday, but rather a loving acceptance of the present and a promise for the future.

It was some time before Michaela reluctantly went back to her patient and Joseph returned to toss restlessly on his cot until the dawn spilt light on a new day.

Chapter 9

"I’ll bring ya back some lunch Doc," offered Joseph, as Michaela took his place in the chair by the old man’s bed.

"Its time I was allowed up to get my own lunch," grumbled Doc. "I feel just fine."

Michaela placed her hand gently over his. "I know you do …. Just one more day …. and if you’re still fine tomorrow you can get up and move around … alright?"

He nodded resignedly.

"You had lunch?" asked Joseph of Michaela, as he reached the door. She nodded and he left, pulling the door shut behind him.

Michaela turned her attention to Doc. "Feeling miserable hmmm?"

Doc shrugged his shoulders dejectedly. "I haven’t always been the most active person Dr Mike ….. but I can’t abide sitting inside here while everyone out there carries on as usual."

"Well it won’t be long until you’re able to get up and rejoin the world," assured Michaela consolingly. She bent down and picked up the calico bag she’d brought in with her, and surreptitiously placed at her feet while Sully was in the room. "I’ve brought some things to show you …. if you’re interested …" As Doc leant forward eagerly for a better view, she withdrew from the bag, a silver framed photograph. "I thought you might like to see something of Sully’s old life. I brought it with me at the last minute …" She turned the frame around to disclose her favourite image – of their wedding day.

"Oh my …," exclaimed Doc. "This makes it suddenly seem very real … he looks different and yet he doesn’t."

"I know what you mean," replied Michaela. "Now you know how I felt seeing him the first day I arrived here …. hair and clothes different but still the same person …" She then pulled out a smaller, wood-framed photograph. "And this is our daughter Katie …."

Doc clutched the photograph and gazed at the image of the small child. "She could be no-one else’s daughter," he murmured. "She’s beautiful."

"People often say that," said Michaela proudly. "She’s only about four in that picture. Does she really look so like the two of us?"

"Oh yes …. especially Joseph …. features …. hair….. its uncanny … Her nose is yours though …. and her smile …."

"I miss her so much," murmured Michaela. "After Matthew arrives home he’s going to arrange for her to join me here …"

Doc’s eyes flew to hers. "Then its imperative you tell him soon …. They are so alike …"

Michaela nodded her head resolutely. "I know …. perhaps this evening …. or tomorrow at the latest ….. as soon as I know you’re over the worst …"

"Oh no Dr Mike …. don’t make *me* your excuse to procrastinate…," warned Doc with a smile.

She blushed. "I’m not Doc ….. I *will* tell him …. *very* soon …. When Sully and I can be alone together …."

Doc shook his head wryly. "It sounds strange to hear him addressed as Sully …. Although I’ve only known him for four years, he is Joseph to me …. probably always will be ….."

"Just as he’ll always be Sully to me …."

Doc smiled. "Yes ….. just as he’ll always be Sully to you ….," he reiterated. "Now, until he returns … why don’t you tell me about the other people in this photograph of your wedding …."

******************************

Michaela glanced up at the clock and marvelled at the lack of patients in this sleepy little town. She’d been available all afternoon and only treated three people, all with minor ailments. Thinking back, she had to acknowledge it was little different to the Colorado Springs of twelve or thirteen years ago. Then too the majority of her patients had been farming and machinery accidents, with the occasional catarrh and case of gout. As the population grew, so did the demand for a variety of medical services. Then she shook her head wryly. Of course, there was no saying that the lack of patients wasn’t something to do with the same prejudice she’d experienced in Colorado Springs when she first arrived there. It was one thing to socialise with the lady doctor at a church gathering, and quite another to trust her with your health. She chuckled balefully. She’d become almost complacent about her place in Colorado Springs and had to remind herself that to all intents and purposes the rest of the world didn’t yet operate that way.

She glanced across to the ajar door of Doc’s room. She secretly wondered how long he’d be able to maintain his practice here. His poor health and advanced arthritis would make the task increasingly difficult. He was such a dear old man and watching him the past few days, she wondered what would happen to him when he was no longer able to practice medicine.

She was feeling particularly forlorn this afternoon, even lonely. As she’d told Doc, she was missing Katie dreadfully, and her worries about how to tell Sully of his past were pressing down on her. She didn’t want to burden him with a range of new, unexpected responsibilities for which he was unprepared, and yet there was no way to tell him only censored excerpts from his past life. He deserved the full truth and she would have to wear the consequences. She’d found herself praying often the past couple of days, that he’d understand, perhaps even remember some of the people and places of which she’d tell him, and not withdraw into himself and away from her. She knew Sully’s personality so well, and hence knew that there would probably be some conflict, some initial rejection of incidents in his past, and perhaps, heaven forbid, some rejection of her.

She sighed and went back to rolling bandages.

Just as the November sun was beginning to set and Michaela was waiting for Sully to arrive so that she could go over to the guesthouse for her supper, there was a shuffling of footsteps outside and then a light but insistent knocking on the surgery door. She hastened across and pulled it open expecting to see a prospective patient. When she recognised the three people congregated expectantly on the doorstep, her mouth and eyes widened in surprise and she let out an uncharacteristic squeal.

She swept her darling daughter up into her arms and swirled her around. "Oh sweetheart … I’ve missed you so much," she keened, kissing the child’s cheek and holding her close. Katie, in her turn, had her arms fiercely clasped around her ma’s neck. "I missed you too mama," she whispered against Michaela’s ear.

Her eyes shimmering with tears Michaela reached out to draw the other two, who were waiting patiently, into her embrace. "Dorothy …. Cloud Dancing …. when did you arrive ….. how did you get here?!" she exclaimed. She ushered them into the surgery, never losing contact with her daughter who was also anxious to keep her ma close.

Once inside, Dorothy wearily undid the ties at the neck of the blue cape she wore over her shoulders and then pulled off the matching gloves. "We got back from Salt Lake ta discover you’d headed down here Michaela …. an’ then Grace showed us the telegrams Matthew’d sent. We decided to start out straight away …. we gotta be in San Francisco in early December …." She glanced down lovingly at Katie and added, "An’ a certain little lady was missin’ her ma terribly …" She then grasped Cloud Dancing’s hand and took a deep breath. "Is it really him?" she asked disbelievingly.

Michaela gazed worriedly down at her daughter who was listening intently. "Ah …. yes," she said, trying not to betray her excitement.

"After all this time!"

Michaela nodded.

Dorothy clapped her hand over her mouth. "I can’t believe it," she murmured.

Cloud Dancing’s brow was creased in puzzlement. "He is here?" he asked quietly.

Michaela grasped her daughter’s hand more tightly and nodded.

"Dr Mike? Dr Mike?" Doc’s voice from the other room put a halt to any further questions.

She put her finger to her lips to silence her friends and then holding onto her daughter’s hand, walked across the room to stand in the doorway. She smiled at the elderly man.

"What’s going on out there?" he asked agitatedly. "Patients?"

"No …," replied Michaela with a broad smile. She drew Katie forward. "I’d like you to meet Sul …. my daughter …. Katie …."

Doc’s face broke into a wide smile to match Michaela’s. He held out his hand. "Come here child," he beckoned. "Let me look at you."

Katie took a few tentative steps forward, never letting go of her ma’s hand. She smiled shyly at the old man. Michaela bent down and said softly. "This is Doctor Evans Katie …. He’s been ill and I’ve been looking after him and his clinic …."

The little girl moved forward more surely, suddenly on more familiar territory. After all, she’d spent a large proportion of her childhood with her mother in her medical clinic at home. "Hello Doctor Evans …," she said quietly. "I’m Katie Sully …. Are you feeling better?"

Doc’s heart melted. He nodded. "I’m feeling much better young lady …. thanks to your mother …. and please …. you must call me Doc ….. everyone else does."

Katie immediately looked at her ma, seeking approval. When Michaela smiled her agreement, Katie grinned and turned back to the old man. "Doc ….," she stated decisively.

Michaela bent to say quietly to her, "Could you stay here and keep Doc company for a minute while I speak to Miss Dorothy and Cloud Dancing?"

The little girl immediately nodded and sat herself in the chair by the bed. Doc looked up reassuringly at Michaela. "We’ll be just fine Dr Mike." He turned back to Katie. "You’re very lucky you know ….. your mother is a very kind lady." Katie beamed as Michaela quietly left the room.

Dorothy and Cloud Dancing looked up expectantly as she emerged from the back room. She immediately crossed to them and grasped their hands firmly. She glanced worriedly back at the door. "How much does Katie know?" she asked softly.

"Very little Michaela …. We didn’ say anythin’ ‘bout Sully …. We thought it best to find out what was goin’ on first," replied Dorothy in a low tone. When Michaela sighed with relief, Dorothy added, "An’ what *is* goin’ on?"

Michaela took a deep breath. "Well ….. he *is* here ….. he’s known by the townspeople as Joseph Williams …" Two faces stared back at her blankly. "He’s lost his memory ….. of his past life …. us …," she explained, her eyes suddenly shimmering with tears. "He was in a terrible accident up near Truchas Peak ….during a storm …. He was brought here and Doc tended to him …. He’s now alright physically …. but he has no recollection of his past."

"Oh Michaela," consoled Dorothy quietly. She wrapped her arm around her friend’s shoulders. "Well …. we’re here to help in any way we can …. aint that right Cloud Dancin’?"

The medicine man nodded. "With your love I believe Sully will come back to us …. You just tell us what you want us to do …."

"Well …. right now … the most important thing is not to tell Katie what is going on … she has no idea …. and she’s too young to understand …..," advised Michaela solemnly. "I was going to tell Sully about his past tomorrow. Now that’s even more important …. The likeness between him and Katie is too obvious …. perhaps not to him ….. but it will be to the townspeople …. I don’t want them whispering behind his back."

Her friends nodded. Cloud Dancing suggested, "We will look after her, while you go somewhere alone to talk with him … perhaps the woods."

She nodded gratefully. "Thank-you," she said softly. She grasped their hands again. "I’m very glad you’re both here …. I’m so frightened about how Sully might react …"

"He will be confused ….. perhaps even a little angry …. but the bond between you and Sully is too strong to be broken by such a matter," Cloud Dancing reassured her.

Michaela gave him an appreciative smile.

*****************************

Joseph stepped off the porch of the mercantile and headed towards Doc’s surgery. Although he was still feeling somewhat unsettled, for the first time since his accident he was eagerly anticipating the future. His short sojourn with Dr Mike in the middle of the night had finally convinced him that she thought more of him than as merely an interesting patient. There’d been something about the way she’d clung to him that had made his heart pound and his blood race. He’d told her friend Hank he’d do anything to avoid hurting her and he firmly believed that. Despite her professional station, there was something vulnerable about her, something which made him want to protect her, be beside her always.

He was light-heartedly crossing the street towards her when he noticed the family standing expectantly at the door of Doc’s surgery. They were definitely strangers, for they were memorable by their differences. The lady was a redhead, tall, and slim. The man was a mexican, of about the same height, dark-haired, his wide-brimmed hat shadowing his face, and the child was a mere seven or eight years old, with fair skin and honey coloured hair. She was bouncing eagerly from one foot to the other while they waited for the doctor to answer the door. He paused. Perhaps he should wait until Dr Mike finished with the new patients. He saw the door open and then heard Dr Mike’s squeal. The next minute the little girl was in her arms in a loving embrace. There could only be one answer to this. The child had to be Katie, her daughter. Joseph wondered then who the other two were. He suddenly realised that in the time they’d spent together Dr Mike had told him very little of her friends and family. She’d encouraged him to talk, but offered very little information in return. Suddenly she also drew the other two into her arms, her smile broad and welcoming. As the mexican’s hat fell back onto his shoulders, Joseph was surprised to see that the man was actually an indian and realised that this had to be the medicine man Dr Mike had mentioned.

He carefully studied Dr Mike’s face for the few brief moments she stood in the doorway. He hadn’t seen her like this before; her loving gaze fixed on her daughter and her obvious pleasure in the unexpected arrival of her friends. He sighed. It wasn’t often he envied someone else their family and past, but just for now he envied Dr Mike. He turned and headed for the livery. He’d give them a little time together before he went over to visit with Doc.

*****************************

Joseph emerged from his workshop just as the last vestiges of twilight had painted the sky a deep, even midnight blue. He glanced across to the doctor’s office to see that the lamps had been lit but the door remained closed. He ran his fingers through his hair, tucked his clean, white shirt into the waistband of his trousers and headed across the road. For some reason he was feeling unaccountably nervous. It had been building up ever since he’d seen Dr Mike’s daughter and friends arrive. How would they feel about her new friend? A friend who had no past, no education? Would she have already mentioned him to them?

His reverie was interrupted by the opening of the surgery door and lamplight abruptly spilled out onto the porch. Dr Mike, her daughter and friends all emerged, peering through the gloom towards the guesthouse diagonally opposite.

"I’m sure Mrs Reed will have a room available …. tell her you’re friends of mine," Michaela instructed, pointing in the general direction. "I’ll be over soon." Then Joseph silently stepped out of the shadows into her field of vision and her face paled.

"Hey Dr Mike," he said quietly. "Came ta visit with Doc so’s you can have your supper."

"Oh …. yes …. of course…. th… thank-you," she stammered. "I …. I ….. um …. These are my friends from Colorado Springs." She rested her hands protectively on her daughter’s shoulders. "And this is Katie."

Joseph surveyed the small group, all of whom appeared somewhat disconcerted by his arrival. It was the tall redhead who nervously stepped forward and offered her hand first. "Dorothy Jennings," she said simply.

He introduced himself, "Joseph …. Joseph Williams," and also offered his hand. Then his brow creased into a frown. "Dorothy Jennin’s …. Jennin’s …..," he murmured. He suddenly smiled and his eyes lit up. "I heard o’ you," he stated. While Michaela’s face paled even further with this utterance, he continued, "You wrote that book …. I read it ….. twice ….. ‘Song of the Cheyenne’ aint it? …." He turned to her companion. "So you must be Cloud Dancin’ right? I read all about you two in the Santa Fe paper. You spoke at the Colorado State Legislature last spring an’ ya goin’ ta California next month …. right?"

Despite the awkwardness of the situation, Dorothy smiled. "My … you have been busy …. I don’ know how you’ve managed to remember all that."

Joseph shrugged his shoulders self-consciously. "After readin’ ya book I got sorta interested …. so newspaper articles ‘bout ya both tend to stand out …."

Cloud Dancing smiled. "My wife and I have been very busy these last couple of years. I am glad that someone has noticed."

"Oh … I’ve noticed alright …. an’ I reckon so will a lott o’ others," said Joseph sincerely. He shook the medicine man’s hand unselfconsciously and then turned back to Dorothy, "You written anythin’ else? I’d like ta read it …," he asked with interest.

Dorothy swallowed hard. "Um …. just one other book," she replied hesitantly. "A long time ago …. about Colorado Springs …."

"An’ the indians around there?"

"Ah … no …. just about the town and its residents …"

"I’d like ta read it …. Do ya have a copy with ya?"

Dorothy glanced worriedly at Michaela. "Um …. I’m not sure …. I may have given the last copy away …. people often ask," she replied evasively.

"I aint wantin’ it for nothin’," explained Joseph immediately. "I could borrow it …. or buy it …. I enjoy readin’ …. especially if its about the frontier …"

"I …. I’ll check …. after we manage to gain some lodgings," said Dorothy, appealing with her eyes to her husband.

Cloud Dancing nodded. "We must rest my friend," he said quietly. "We have been travelling for many days."

Joseph reddened. "What must ya think of me? …. You’ll be real tired an’ I’m holdin’ ya up." He stepped back and then seemed to notice for the first time the tired little girl leaning up against her ma’s skirts. He squatted down so that he could look into her eyes and said quietly, "Hey Katie …. Ya ma’s told me a lot about ya …. She says ya like ta ride … is that right?"

Katie’s eyes lit up. "Uh huh," she replied shyly.

"Well …. maybe …. if Doc’s alright tomorra mornin’ … an’ Ned’s got a small enough horse …. you, ya ma an’ me could go for a ride …. would ya like that?" he asked, his smile kind.

Katie glanced up at her ma. "Could we mama?" she asked excitedly.

Michaela was torn. She knew she had to tell Sully of his origins as a matter of urgency, but not while Katie was with them. "Um …. I’m not sure …..," she murmured.

"Please ……," implored the little girl.

"Alright," Michaela conceded, with some misgivings. "Just for a little while …. and then I’ll have to come back to the clinic …."

Both Katie and Joseph smiled with similar smug satisfaction at her acquiescence. Joseph stood, quickly said good evening and headed into the surgery. The three adults stared back at the closed door, each lost in their own troubled thoughts and perplexity, while young Katie hopped excitedly from foot to foot, contemplating a morning spent at her favourite pastime with her ma and their new friend.