This second section is about my early life up to a couple of years ago (1996). The first section is about my current situation and the circumstances that led me here. If you haven't already read it and just want the issues without the background, just go back to the first page.

• Grew up in Melbourne. Came from a mother only family environment with lots of passing boyfriends, one of which she was married to for a year. Verbal abuse was common, emotional abuse was common, some light physical abuse in the form of regular, prolonged, angry spankings.


• Age 12: started experimenting with alcohol and pills


• Age 13: ran away from home, lived on the street. Stopped attending school.


• Age 14: returned home briefly, but spent most time away. Started injecting speed and a barbiturate, tuenol.


• Age 15: left home permanently. Frequented hotels, regular binge drinking, frequent drug use (speed and pills)


• Age 16: Introduced to heroin.


• Age 18: By this time I was taking heroin so much that I was experiencing withdrawal when I stopped. Received $15000 compensation for a car accident I was in when I was 9.


• Age 19: Went overseas, visited popular heroin countries over a period of 6 months. Heroin habit soared. Came back to Australia, immediately went on a three week methadone withdrawal program. Lived in Canberra which removed me from most drug contacts.


• Age 20: Returned to school to do year 11 and 12. Was on Austudy (a government benefit paid to full-time students) but worked in a brothel to supplement income. Periodically visited a drug dealer in Sydney, anywhere from once in a couple of months to every week. Frequently called on doctor for Doloxene, a drug which eases withdrawal symptoms.


• Age 21: Despite all the distractions, completed Year 12 Certificate, obtaining a percentile mark of 3.47(ie in the top 3 1/2 percent in the state, yes I am pretty proud of that). Prepared for move back to Melbourne.


• Age 22: Back in Melbourne, attempted to do uni. Back to regular heroin use, failed uni through lack of commitment.


• Age 23: Started dealing heroin. I did 2 or 3 trips a week to a dealer in Sydney. Working full time in an office job. I would meet clients at lunchtime and after work. To pick up my supplies I would leave work at 3:30, go to the airport, go to Sydney, return on a flight that would get me home at around half past midnight. Distribute drugs to those who had been waiting for my return. Sometimes if there was a delay in Sydney I would take the first flight back in the morning and go straight from the airport to work. I was taking around $2500 a week worth of heroin.


• Age 24: Then there was a problem in Sydney. Dealer went out of business, so did I. Lost my job because I was too sick to work and couldn't tell them why. Tried methadone, but stopped after only a few days. Started working brothels again. Dabbled dealing small amounts, but couldn't because I took too much of it. Lost my house because I couldn't keep up the rent. Started living in the brothel where I worked. Started methadone again, kept it up this time. Planned to move to the country where my mum lived, reduce the methadone to zero, then move on to Darwin where I didn't know anybody and could start again.


• Age 25: Moved to country Victoria, met a nice guy. Reduced my methadone to zero. Got married and stayed. For the first time in 13 years I lived without taking drugs.


• Age 27: Had a son. Started experiencing mild bouts of depression.


• Age 28: Working part-time, studying part-time, enjoying my son, living a great life. Then I got pregnant and was hit by a severe depression. Stopped doing all the above. Started taking Prozac. Depression lessened but never really went away. December 1995, 8 months pregnant, I took my first shot of heroin in 3 1/2 years. I had a healthy daughter a few weeks later and as soon as she was out of me the depression lifted.

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